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... Send *unty Honest a private message | | | *unty Honest's profile:I'm a young woman from England with a slight background in Psychology, Sociology and a whole lot of English! I have worked with the homeless, people with disabilities (mental and physical)and addiction. In terms of age I have worked with children to teenagers to the elderly in various fields. Having had many ups and downs in my personal and familial life, I hope that my experiences may make me able to relate and advise others in similar situations. As a result, I am not very judgemental, and (as my friends would attest) I'd like to think anyone could come to me about anything. I won't pretend that I'm an expert, and I've made many mistakes in my life! However if you want honest, respectful and understanding advice, give me a try.
I am currently in a relationship-though my lovelife has always been a ridiculous rollercoaster!
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Struggling with work, what could this be and how can I get back on track?
Q. Okay, this is not exactly a relationship question, but I need your help! I'm a text writer. It is expected of me that I write 3/4 texts each hour of a workday (8 hrs in total). I've only been doing this for 4 weeks. My problem is that lately I...
A. 28 July 2011: Just an afterthought:
It sounds like you may be a bit depressed. The end of uni means leaving lots of people behind, often a fantastic few years, independent living and having to get a job and get on with life can seem a bit bleak sometime... (read in full...)
Will I ever be enough for him?
Q. Will I ever be enough for him? My boyfriend and I have a one year old child together, he also has two other children that he has full custody of. He never puts my sons needs first, me and my son are always coming up short of spending any tim...
A. 28 July 2011: I'm sorry to hear how awful this guy has made you feel. You don't think you're good enough for him? Then your boyfriend has truly rocked your confidence which doesn't make anyone but him "not good enough." It seems to me that when we love someone ... (read in full...)
Struggling with work, what could this be and how can I get back on track?
Q. Okay, this is not exactly a relationship question, but I need your help! I'm a text writer. It is expected of me that I write 3/4 texts each hour of a workday (8 hrs in total). I've only been doing this for 4 weeks. My problem is that lately I...
A. 28 July 2011: I have to write to deadline sometimes too and it's really hard when you get stuck. Here's some things that have helped me- Try and get in the habit of being constantly writing, even if its just making a note here and there, or knocking out a p... (read in full...)
I think I have a really high sex drive, is this normal?
Q. I think i have a really high sex drive. This in itself is not a problem but im just wondering if it is normal to have one as high i as i believe i have. I get myself off at least once a day and on some days it can be up to 5 or 6 times. I don't h...
A. 28 July 2011: It's a shame you feel this way because you have absolutely nothing to worry about! Having a high sex drive is completely normal and healthy. As you said "it doesn't interfere with my everyday life" and I think that until it does, then it in no way ... (read in full...)
Do I introduce my LDR boyfriend to my parents?
Q. So my LDR boyfriend is finally with me, and only here for a short time. Do I introduce him to my parents? I met him online, and they knew about him before but were very negative about the whole issue and told me to dump him immediately. The...
A. 26 July 2011: I think you should do what you're comfortable with. If it's his first visit-and his only one for a year-just enjoy it! Enjoy his company and getting to know him, why cause yourself him and your parents a whole load of stress on his first visit. ... (read in full...)
How much does your first time hurt?
Q. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does your first time having sex hurt? just out of curiosity...
A. 26 July 2011: For some people it doesn't hurt at all, for some it does hurt but it soon passes. The best thing you can do is lots of kissing and foreplay untill you're relaxed and ready physically and emotionally, that should help.... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 26 July 2011: Herdmorality-I think you make a distinction worth making. Of course there is a difference between a child and adult student. However while we're all agreed the child/teacher relationship is disgusting I have to say I think the adult/teacher one is ... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 26 July 2011: Because going to a prostitute is different to sleeping with loads of people?
If a woman sleeps with loads of people then judges a man for doing the same-that's hypocricy.
If a woman goes to a prostitute and then judges a man for doing the sa... (read in full...)
How to face my girlfriend after 7 months break up?
Q. I am a very arrogant and proud guy being from very rich family here. I get everything in my life without dropping a single drop of sweat . 30 months back, I fell in love with a amazingly beautiful girl here and I kept my family status in hide from ...
A. 26 July 2011: Don't mess this girl around any more then you have already. You feel she's beneath you or that there is a class difference, and it sounds like you do care about her, so don't you think she deserves someone who will give her more than that, give her ... (read in full...)
Do women look too ?
Q. A question that will ignite a debate, we men although may have the most beautiful wife/girlfriend but we keep on looking at other women, we don't get enough! although we may be having the best woman...Are women like us in nature, do they look at men ...
A. 26 July 2011: Of course both genders look! You're still human you still have eyes.
The only thing that annoys me is when men (or women) do that thing where they pretend someone isn't attractive/worth looking at who quite blatantly is-lets not insult each oth... (read in full...)
My boyfriend earns more than me, should he pay for more once we buy a house together?
Q. Hi. I have just had an interesting conversation with my colleague. I am about to buy a house with my bf of 18 months. He has fronted the 10% deposit for the house as he has managed to save really well over the last couple of years whereas I am c**p ...
A. 26 July 2011: I think you have the right idea-financial independence is important, you don't want a free ride and you don't want to feel like you owe your boyfriend anything down the line. It's great that you want financial independence, and that self-reliance is ... (read in full...)
Telling my lover he can't come to my home..will make him angry! How do I deal with this?
Q. I know I will be judged for what I am about to write, but I am just looking for open minded opinions. I am a 37 year old female, have been seeing a 39 year old married man. I was in a relationship myself (not married, but dated and lived together...
A. 26 July 2011: I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately this guy sounds like bad news.
First of all you have broken up a serious relationship for him and he's told you outrightly that he won't do the same for you. Ever. Is that enough f... (read in full...)
How do I tell my son that he will be seeing a father, he barely knows?
Q. First I would like to thank everyone for reading this. So here it goes, I just had found out that my kid's father was granted for an access to see him. I've been reluctant to agree with this due to my kids father hasn't been a father to my child. I ...
A. 26 July 2011: There's no easy way to broach the topic, you just have to be gentle and supportive. Tell your son quite simply that his dad is coming to see him and listen to what he has to say on the matter. If he's anxious be as soothing as possible, if he's ... (read in full...)
What should I wear on a first date?
Q. What should I wear on a first date, I want to look nice but not too try hard. Also I dunno how much make up to wear or how to have my hair. Any general tips ?...
A. 26 July 2011: Wear something you feel comfy and confident it. Best bet is the "I've put no effort in but happen to look my best." It also depends on where you're going-heels for a long walk-not a good idea.
Hope that helps!... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing?
Q. Hi! I just recently graduated from High school last month. Before I graduated I made an agreement with my parents about college. I told them I didn't want to go to college right after high school. So we agreed on me not going till the Spring. I want ...
A. 8 June 2011: If you and your parents both feel that it's the right thing for you, then it probably is! Loads of people take gap years before going to university, and there's nothing wrong with earning a little cash to have behind you first. I think a year out is ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to read these books even though I'm technically more pure then most girls my age?
Q. Hello! I'm going to get straight to the point and not beat around the bush. I'm a 18 year old virgin and I love to read romance novels. Not just the nice sappy ones, I like to read the sexy intense one with wild sex in them. I love historic novels ...
A. 8 June 2011: There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you don't have a sexual appetite or curiosity and if these books help satisfy that then I don't see a problem with you reading them. I think it's very natural to ... (read in full...)
Do most infidelities go undiscovered?
Q. Hi there. Some of you may find my question strange but here goes. What I would like to know is do the majority of infidelities go undiscovered? I am studying psychology and I am really interested in this subject and I am in no way asking this ...
A. 30 May 2011: Agree with caring guy that lots go undiscovered and perhaps women are better at hiding it, I wouldn't know. I guess the hard thing is that there's no way of telling how many affairs remain a secret-because they are a secret! It seems to me that ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my best mate I'm in love with his sister?
Q. im with my best mates sister and we have been together for about 3 months but known each other for a few years, my question is that none of her family want us sleeping together but we have and we had great sex but i dont know how to tell her brother ...
A. 30 May 2011: What's she saying about it? Does she want her family to know because if not, telling them anyway could push them away.
I think you'll have to explain to your best friend that you are in love with his sister, see how he takes that and if you can ... (read in full...)
Wife is angry because I'm not interested in sex anymore
Q. I don't know what is wrong with me . I totally lost my sexual self. I don't know ,if it is because I'm no longer attracted to my wife,or is this something else. She is very mad at me, because I can't keep an erection,and I rarely ever desire s...
A. 26 May 2011: I think it's great that you're looking for solutions to the problem and are considerate of your wife needs. Usually, people who are no longer attracted to their partner but still have a high sex drive look elsewhere, and as you're not I think it's ... (read in full...)
My cheating lover doesn't have time for me!
Q. Been having an affair: were both married. He's about to have his second child any day! He's been very distant lately: won't text or call. I asked him if I should leave him alone and he says no! I am having a hard time with the no communicating and ...
A. 25 May 2011: I think he's probably gone a bit distant because his wife is about to have a child and he probably has a lot on his plate. There may also be a bit of guilt there because his wife is expecting. You're both married and obviously have other commitments ... (read in full...)
I made a special effort to be with my girlfriend, and twice in one day she said she preferred to hang out some other time!
Q. ok so me and my girlfriend dont have as much time to spend together as we like because we dont live together yet, but we see each other as much as possible. But my girlfriend recently took an extra shift at work on one of the few times we had to ...
A. 25 May 2011: It sounds like your girlfriend has a lot on. Extra shifts at work, finishing up at school and it's lovely that you want to support her. It's always disapointing to have romantic plans cancelled, but even if it was twice, it was only one day, clearly ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end things when they're going so well with my current boyfriend, but I don't know if I can keep going when I can't stop thinking about my ex. Help
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 11 months almost a year ago. I didn't hear from him for 4 months afterwards, and then he got in contact asking how I was. I was already seeing someone else by then, who I like a lot. The problem is, we kept talk...
A. 25 May 2011: What a difficult situation. I think a lot of it depends on why you broke up in the first place? If it was a situation beyond your control or if there was a deeper problem. If you broke up because one of you wasn't getting something from the other or ... (read in full...)
My bestfriend confessed his feelings to my (sort of) girlfriend
Q. This may be a bit of a long read and for that I'm sorry. Basically, for the past 5 years I have been in love with my best friend, and after a lot of drama in the past 6 months we've finally decided to give it a go. We aren't public, because we ...
A. 23 May 2011: Yeah you shouldn't snoop, or put yourself in a position where you might accidentally snoop, but it's done now and it does happen so I think you have to work out how to move on from it. From where I'm standing you have two options: Put it to one s... (read in full...)
My bf thought I was asleep and started masturbating to porn. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi new to this! But just wondering. Iv been with my boyfreind for 6months now and we live in our own flat. Everythings great etc and Yesterday we had sex during The day, and I fell asleep in bed cuddled up to my boyfriend about 1am this morning...
A. 23 May 2011: You're not being stupid. You say you knew he did it and that you do too, but knowing and seeing are two very different things! It's ok to be uncomfortable with it, especially when it's right in front of you. As for being daunted by pornstars...most ... (read in full...)
I don't know what's happened to me...
Q. I need serious help. feel free to stop reading here as its gonna be a long one but if you carry on it would be very appreciated :) so, rewind my life back about a year and i was popular, was doing well at my gcse's and (not meaning to boast) but i ...
A. 23 May 2011: Dear Icantthinkofa... I'm really sorry to hear you sounding so low however I don't think this is a permanent change! I know how awful your first big break up is, and you feel like you'll never be the person you were beforehand, but the truth is... (read in full...)
Sweet man or sociopath?
Q. if a man is charming does it always have to mean that they are trying to schmooze? my new guy is rather over the top charming towards me, i have told him it makes me uneasy and he said he flatters me coz he wants me to like him. he is not a silly ...
A. 23 March 2011: I'd have to agree that charming doesn't always mean sociopath. That might be his way and it might be totally harmless. However, if you are getting a bad vibe from the guy listen to your instincts-if you feel uncomfortable with him then don't pursue ... (read in full...)
I am always angry and depressed and need help controlling this!
Q. needing help My stress levels are increasing i am really agitated and get angry at the slightest thing going wrong i dont know what to do as i dont want it harming my health and my relationship with my boyfriend as i am taking my anger and depres...
A. 22 March 2011: I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, and I think often to fix a problem of this kind, you need to work out the cause. Is work/studies unfulfilling? Do you have a difficult relationship with your family? Hows your self-image? Once you've worked that ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love but its almost impossible to be with him!
Q. Ive recently come back from Thailand and i have fallen helplessly in love with a man from there. It was ultimate bliss when i was with him and never have i felt so loved, so special, so beautiful, so.... Happy. Ive been back for a month and i have ...
A. 22 March 2011: You sound like you're pretty crazy about each other which is great. So I guess it depends how much you think this could go somewhere, and if you could be happy in Australia. If you think you'd always wonder if you don't go for it, and wouldn't mind ... (read in full...)
Am I the oldest person ever to not have a relationship?
Q. I'm 27 years old, almost 28, and I've never had a serious relationship!! I dated a guy for almost a year, 2 yrs ago, but that is the longest and most legit "relationship" I've ever had, but it wasn't serious. I'm cute, smart, and funny, I'm n...
A. 21 March 2011: Don't panic! Yes, you are normal. It sounds like you've had plenty of experiences and relationships (even if they're not boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.) There's nothing wrong with you.
You describe yourself as independent, perhaps you are ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever lost their feelings for someone, broken up and then feelings came back stronger?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a total of 3.5 years (not including about 1 month in total for breakups) and recently she broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I broke up with her last year, September 2010, and about 3 weeks later,...
A. 21 March 2011: Sadly, I think what's happened is that you hurt her so much when you broke up with her, she couldn't feel the same way about you any more. Clearly she still loved you and gave it her best shot, but the damage was done. That doesn't make it any ... (read in full...)
How do I stop over-analyzing everything and driving my bf crazy?
Q. I'm not very experienced with boys. The guy I'm seeing now, when we started off, really really acted as though it wasn't just a casual thing. He wanted to be my boyfriend. but then he changed his mind because he is leaving uni at the end of the year ...
A. 21 March 2011: So the guy tells you he wants a relationship, then says he can't commit to one, but you are exclusive, just not his girlfriend, then gets "exhasperated" when you become insecure about his feelings? Surely that's a little off?
The reason you feel... (read in full...)
My gf broke up with me suddenly under mysterious circumstances, leaving me a complete mess. What do I do now?
Q. Hey people, I'm Nick and I'm 25 years old. I suppose I'll sketch my situation really quick. I had been with my girlfriend for nearly two years. We lived a train ride apart from each other and saw each other during weekends and vacations. I...
A. 21 March 2011: Dear Nick,
I'm so sorry that your feeling this way. And heartbreak is one of the most difficult things to get over, I know. It is do-able however, you will get there. Over time you will find a job, start to see what happened more clearly,... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my gf's troubled past of cheating on me, abusing drugs, and sleeping around?
Q. Okay, I am 21 and my girlfriend is 20. We have had an on and off relationship for the last two years and now we have recently made the leap of faith into a official relationship. However, I can't get over my girlfriends past. Not to my knowledge, ...
A. 21 March 2011: Unfortunately, only you can decide if you're able to forgive her. Addiction can make monsters out of normal, nice people and it sounds like your girlfriend may be one of them. I think that it's great that she's been in rehab and is recovering, but ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend got what he wants and now all he wants to do is watch tv
Q. My sister has gone away and asked me to house sit, she agreed that my boyfriend could with me.For 2 weeks he's been going on about how exciting it will be to have the house to ourselves for a weekend! Which got me pretty excited too. He reques...
A. 13 March 2011: No you're not bad for feeling that way! You feel slightly used and underappreciated it's understandable! Also why should the whole weekend be about what he wants. What about what you want? It's not the 50's! Tell him if he's just gonna sit there and ... (read in full...)
After 2.5 years boyfriend dumps me by text!
Q. I feel so angry with my ex boyfriend. We were together for 2 1/2 years and he dumped me by text. I never imagined for a minute he would do something so horrible, as it seemed out of character for him. In fact, at the time I didn't realise I was ...
A. 13 March 2011: I can understand why you feel so hurt about this, especially after so long. I think the reason you are unable to move on is because you never got any closure. Or anything close. Perhaps you could get in contact with this guy and ask him to explain ... (read in full...)
Girlfriends drinking is causing protective services to get involved with our daughter
Q. im 24yr male my girlfriend is 23 and we have been together for 2years but 3months into our relationship she became pregnant we both love eachother it was abit of a shock but we both agreed to stick by eachother, at this time she was living with her ...
A. 13 March 2011: I'm so sorry you are in this situation. As you said, protecting your daughter is of the most importance right now. And your girlfriend needs help and time to sort herself out. Is she in AA or any other recovery programme? If not, try and get her ... (read in full...)
I don't want to compete for Max only to lose, and be an even bigger idiot than I feel now. Help!
Q. Alright well i'm 18 years old and at University, and I really like this guy, lets call him max. I kept getting all the vibes that he liked me back, and so i was flirty and chatty around him to try to encourage him asking me out. But then the other ...
A. 13 March 2011: You shouldn't feel like an idiot! You haven't done anything! This guy obviously likes you and was annoyed to see you with Jason. However, I don't think you should "compete" for him. If he likes you enough for you to be with him, he will go for you. ... (read in full...)
Is meeting a girl you are attracted to cheating your wife?
Q. A lady in office much younger than I am had been hitting on me for a while. I find her very attractive. She is married, and so am I. At the same time, I dont want to mess up my married life and have not gone beyond a coffee or lunch together. ...
A. 13 March 2011: It's emotional cheating, not physical which is obviously different. However alot of my girlfriends say they fear that more. The idea of their boyfriends/husbands talking, opening up, investing in another woman aside from them, particularly one that ... (read in full...)
My mom has been diagnosed with an incurable disease and my world has shattered around me. Help me please...
Q. Yesterday I was driving in my car with my mom and out of the blue she told me that she's been diagnosed with an incurable disease in her lungs and that she's gonna start some treatment which is gonna be useless. She was crying, saying she was scared ...
A. 13 March 2011: I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I wish there was something I could say to make it better. Unfortunately, there's very little anyone can say. The best thing you can do right now is be there for your mum. I'm sure you are already,... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 13 March 2011: You're welcome. Obviously it's much more difficult if he's young as you can't have him walk into school alone etc. Try and sit tight-the school year will be over soon! All the best! ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 13 March 2011: I understand you're trying to keep your distance, but (obviously I don't know age of your son/how much you HAVE to see her) I just meant as much as possible, so you can avoid even looking at her when possible! I didn't mean you weren't trying that ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 12 March 2011: As hard as it is, you have to walk away from this one. She's asked you to step back because of her career. Proffessionally, she could be destroyed by being involved with a students teacher, and while it's painful, you have to respect that especially ... (read in full...)
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