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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is there a foundation to launch a relationship from here?
Q. Hey i thought id give u some news - I met this reali kool and hot girl. But she was reali trashed so she didnt reali remember anything. but we had a reali kool conversation. Anyway, by odd coincidence, my friends from high school happened to meet ...
A. 30 October 2009: What's the link, Brendan?... (read in full...)
Why marriage?...in fact...why love?
Q. Reading through pages and pages of questions on dating, love and marriage i just see the huge amount relating to affairs (both mentally and physically), being in love with someone whilst married (perhaps even with children), obsessing over a married ...
A. 20 October 2009: And, of course, we've forgotten to mention the legal benefits. This is a big part of why the gay & lesbian community hate this whole, "well, you can have a commitment ceremony, so why are you so upset that you can't be legally married?" - well, ... (read in full...)
What do girls look for in a boyfriend?
Q. Simple questions to the girls. Pls, consider you re lookin for a bf. And what are the features you ll be lookin for. Everything as a whole,what you girls look for when looking for a boyfriend.put everything you feel like you need in a boy friend. ...
A. 19 October 2009: I love for a funny, thoughtful, smart fella who is comfortable in his own skin. A guy who is polite and respects his family, his peers and me. Every girl is different in what she wants in her fella - for me, I like my guy to be creatively talented. ... (read in full...)
Moral beliefs on fantasies?
Q. I was wondering what people think about this one. I feel that if you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't fantasise/masturbate over someone else. To me, at that moment in time you're choosing to be with (think of) someone other th...
A. 19 October 2009: "I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts." - John Locke
I think this is a great quote in relation to the topic at hand. Your theory is logical, but in reality it doesn't bode well. If you don't feel lik... (read in full...)
I just broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. Now I like his best friend.
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. Now i like his best friend. I want to ask him to our halloween dance but i dont know how. can anyone help....
A. 19 October 2009: Hey sweetness,
It's probably best to wait on making a move on his best friend. It's too soon and would be really insensitive towards your ex. It's messy to get between two best friends! So, I would wait for a little while until you make your mov... (read in full...)
Why marriage?...in fact...why love?
Q. Reading through pages and pages of questions on dating, love and marriage i just see the huge amount relating to affairs (both mentally and physically), being in love with someone whilst married (perhaps even with children), obsessing over a married ...
A. 19 October 2009: Ask Oldersister & CaringGuy are dead on. My view of marriage is that people lack the commitment to work at a relationship. They expect it to feel like violins, fireworks and cupcakes forever and when it starts to slow down or lose it's spark, they ... (read in full...)
My parents are very stricked...how do I tell them I'm pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone, I am 21 yrs old and my boyfriend is 22 yrs old, We have been dating since I was 15. For some reason my dad never really liked him even though he is really nice and sweet to me. My parents are very stricked and have always told me that I ...
A. 19 October 2009: Not going to be easy, but you need to go in with the right attitude. I'm not sure if having your boyfriend there will be better or worse for you (you need to feel that out), but if you need moral support, enlist a good friend (who they like) or ... (read in full...)
I want to know if I'm trying too hard to be a good mother?
Q. Im a 22 yr old female. I have 1 child. And am married. I want to know if im trying too hard to be a good mother. Im in the type of career that requires me to be away from my family a lot. Example im gone for this year overseas. I really try to give ...
A. 17 October 2009: Well, what is your career, before we tell you to leave it? Are you with the military? Are a doctor going to foreign countries to open free clinics? Are you in the Peace Corps? Are you an archaeologist going on digs?
It's definitely importan... (read in full...)
I want to know if I'm trying too hard to be a good mother?
Q. Im a 22 yr old female. I have 1 child. And am married. I want to know if im trying too hard to be a good mother. Im in the type of career that requires me to be away from my family a lot. Example im gone for this year overseas. I really try to give ...
A. 17 October 2009: Gifts don't make you a good Mother, love does. And it sounds like you really, really love your son. So get creative... send him fun postcards, pictures of yourself, thoughtful letters. Maybe he won't be able to understand all the words, but later in ... (read in full...)
What is sexual tension?
Q. What is sexual tension? Is it a feeling, that you have with someone and cannot stay away from them? I would like to know......
A. 17 October 2009: Good question, and I'll bet you get lots of definitions. I would say sexual tension is when you're with/around someone and you can feel the chemistry between you, and it's making things awkward. I don't know if it's not being able to stay away from ... (read in full...)
Is he a stalker?
Q. My guy friend, his cousin and I were on the bus. His cousin who’s my best friend asked him if he was my stalker because I ran into him all the time this week. He just smiled and said no like he was admitting it. Today I said hi stalker and he said ...
A. 16 October 2009: I agree with CaringGuy, sounds like he just likes you. It doesn't sound like he's got an obsession or is actually stalking you. But, keep your eye open just in case. Better safe than sorry!... (read in full...)
Brother and best friend getting married on the same day
Q. Question:What should I do? My best friend is getting married on a Saturday next July. She's had it booked for 4 months. When my brother got engaged, I told them that particular Saturday was "off limits" if possible because my best friend's wedding ...
A. 14 October 2009: Ugh, how icky this situation is. I think you got great advice. I would say that your best friend probably has more of a reason to get you that day. After all, she arranged the day first and you committed to her first. So you're already engaged that ... (read in full...)
What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas? Please help
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 1/2 years now you would think I would know what to get him for Christmas by now. I have read suggestions on other posts and they don't help very much. We live together at college so we share ...
A. 14 October 2009: Perhaps you could give him the gift of dates? Like, get two tickets to the movies, a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant, or a gift certificate to the bowling alley or aquarium, stuff it inside a picnic basket with goodies inside (the date ... (read in full...)
I had lots of sex without any protection and I'm worried I might be pregnant!
Q. So me and my boyfriend (im 16 hes 18) have been together for about 4 months now. we have sex a lot, every weekend and sometimes during the week, and almost always more than once on these days. i am not on the pill and we dont use condoms, he just ...
A. 14 October 2009: Well, I'll tell you right now that at this stage of the game, the boobs would be the biggest indicator. But, don't rely on them - perhaps this is just a late period and the breasts are swelling nonetheless?
Anyway, this is not something (as Sati... (read in full...)
Is there a foundation to launch a relationship from here?
Q. Hey i thought id give u some news - I met this reali kool and hot girl. But she was reali trashed so she didnt reali remember anything. but we had a reali kool conversation. Anyway, by odd coincidence, my friends from high school happened to meet ...
A. 14 October 2009: Sorry, that was my girlfriend "A". She is totally trustworthy (all though can't spell a DAMN (hah! Sorry, love.) Anyway, here is my (Tasteo'India's) advice.p /
p /
I didn't read this as "foundation" advice, so thank you Moderator. Brendan, I do thi... (read in full...)
The perfect girl is too close to me to have
Q. I've been playing in a serious band for almost a year now. One of the members of the band is female. Her and I have become very close, and have pretty much everything in common that we possibly good. The fact that we have the same passion (music) is ...
A. 13 October 2009: Well, you're going to need to sort this out. She's got a fella, so that rules out going after her. I encourage you to try to move on, because there is nothing worse than stealing a girl from her boyfriend. Well, okay, you could murder the boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband no longer interested in me?
Q. So me and my husband have been together for three and a half years and married for two! I lost my virginity to him after we had been dating 5 months, but before me he dated a girl off and on for 2 years and they lost their virginities to eachother ...
A. 13 October 2009: Have you talked to him about this and what's going on? Something is clearly happening in his head, and it's worth talking about to make your marriage work. The best way to find out why he's acting like this is to ask. Don't be confrontational, and ... (read in full...)
Any sites that address missing someone in the military?
Q. I am a girlfriend of a marine, and I'm having a hard time adjusting to his second time overseas. I know there are a lot of spritual or patriotic support systems, but as an atheist and pacifist, my emotional pain is not easily alleviated. Neither my ...
A. 13 October 2009: Oh my sweetness, if we aren't the same person. My fella (self-proclaimed "only hippie in the Marines"), just joined the Marines. We've been together 4 years, we got engaged and suddenly he joined, leaving us to get married on his 10 days break ... (read in full...)
How can I show him I'm interested without going overboard?
Q. GAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! I'm so confused and need help! This guy I like who I've known for 2 years from my sports club apparently likes me, and at times I think he likes me since he's always friendly and jokey and chatty with me and not so much to other...
A. 13 October 2009: I agree with Satin. What's wrong with being obvious? Subtlety will get you a lot more of this endless flirting game that you've got going on, but if you want to make things happen, help the guy out and make it obvious what your intentions are.
... (read in full...)
How can I match her homecoming outfit?
Q. My date to homecoming has a completely white was, 100%. So what color do I make everything, like my tie/wrist flower thing....
A. 13 October 2009: Well you have lots of possibilities! Ask her what accessories she's wearing, if she'll have any colors at all. And if she's just going with silver or something, then I would match her corsage to your tie. And you can go with any color that you think ... (read in full...)
My wife likes to pleasure herself, is this normal? I only thought it was men that played with themselves!
Q. hi we have been married for over 25 years and there is very little my wife and i have not done in the bedroom department. we both enjoy sex and are healthy. recently my wife is more into self please of herself, its something she as done for ma...
A. 12 October 2009: There is nothing wrong with your wife! In fact, you guys are a great example to everyone else in the universe... 25 years, still sexually happy, healthy and experimental. So kudos to you, and to your wife who is open about her self pleasure. It's ... (read in full...)
Am I in over my head with this girl and baby?
Q. I am talking to this girl and i Really like her but there is a problem that my friends have no answer for shes pregnant(not for me) and the father wants nothing to do with her or the baby hes your typical coward. i want to start a relationship with ...
A. 12 October 2009: Have you really talked to this girl about this? And hey, you don't need to think too far into the future - it sounds like you've just started getting to know her. Why not ask her out on a date (first things first), and get to know her a little bit ... (read in full...)
I'm 17, still a virgin and I really don't want to be!
Q. Heya, I'm 17, still a virgin and .. I really don't want to be! All my friends are in relationships and having lots of sex or just having sex anyway. I have quite a lot of male friends that I am close friends with and feel confident around but I seem ...
A. 11 October 2009: Hey sweetness,
I remember that I was determined to lose my virginity by 17. And I had lots of opportunities, but the guys just were so icky and pathetic, so I held out. And held out. And held out. And then suddenly, my 17th birthday was around t... (read in full...)
She's threatening to leave me if I don't stop drinking. Will the marriage last?
Q. i usually drink only on the weekends and have tried to talk with my wife but she dosen't want anything to do with alcohol of which she used to entertain before. she has gone as far as telling me that we will leave on the condition that i stop dri...
A. 10 October 2009: I'm curious as to why your wife wants you to stop drinking. If she used to enjoy drinking and now she's not into it, like Jayney says, I'm wondering if your behavior changes and you turn into someone she doesn't like when you're drunk. And hey, if ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to leave his girlfriend for me?
Q. hi guys, Ok your all going to think im total mad for this but i really cant help it, Im doing everything for my ex bf, who dumped me coming upto a yr now, i give him money sometimes when he really needs it, buys him drinks and will always l...
A. 8 October 2009: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
I hate this phrase, but it's appropriate here. Why would he buy the cow, when he gets the milk (and some milkshakes) for free?!
You are pretty much the greatest girl ever. You sleep with him, listen to him, buy him stuff, g... (read in full...)
My bf rips my thongs on purpose. how can I make him stop.
Q. ill make this short and simple. my boyfriend keeps literally ripping my underwear everytime we have sex! we will get into the mood and he will legit RIP my thong off! im getting rly irritated because i keep having to buy new ones! i have told him ...
A. 8 October 2009: Solution - HE buys you panties for him to rip through.
Tell him, "you break it, you bought it."
A funny situation (though frustrating, I'm sure!)!!
Good luck, sweetness!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants kids, but I don't think I do. How can we get through this?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years now. I'm almost 28 and have two kids, 6-8 from a previous marriage. What is preventing our relationship from progressing is that I have had a vasectomy and am not really sure if I'm going to wan...
A. 7 October 2009: This is one of those things that just can't be worked out. If you DO have kids with her, you'll perhaps resent her and the kids and if she DOESN'T have kids, she'll end up resenting you. This is just a messy situation either way.
I agree with all... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to sit with a bunch of guys I don't know and watch porn? Who's in the wrong here?
Q. Last night my bf started yelling at me heaps because when I met his friends I was quiet and shy. However, I do feel I had good reasons for acting the way I did. Here is why: 1. I didnt even technically "meet them". I mean, he didn't introduc...
A. 7 October 2009: What a disgusting group of people. Leave him NOW. These are his friends, and apparently, people who he feels comfortable and akin to. Look at all of them and you are just looking at reflections of your boyfriend.
You are too smart and too stro... (read in full...)
Is being attracted to a different race wrong?
Q. im 13 and i wondering if youre this race and your more attracted to a different race, is it wrong? like a chinease but im latino. help...
A. 7 October 2009: Nothing wrong at all, and as for genetic difficulties, that's untrue (sorry, DoubleM). Gene flow (the blending of genetics from different populations) is extremely beneficial to genetic variation. Skin blemishes - such as severe acne - can be ... (read in full...)
Could a woman please translate what she's telling me here?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 9 months and have grown to love her alot. We are opposites in some ways ( I'm a yuppie. She's a hippie) but our core values are the same. We both adore animals. We both love cooking and baking. We both see ...
A. 7 October 2009: That is really, really unclear. So I would just straight out ask her, "I'd really like to fix things and make you happier in our relationship, but I'm just not sure what you mean, and what I can do to make things better for you."
You sound ve... (read in full...)
What is true beauty?
Q. What do you think true beauty means? Someone said I had it but wouldn't explain what they meant. So what do you think that means?...
A. 7 October 2009: "True beauty" is inside and out...
But, it's one of those esoteric words whose definition lies in the individual. Everyone would have a different take on what "true beauty" is if you asked them.
Either way, it is a huge compliment and I... (read in full...)
What are some ways that I can spice up our sex life? Getting bored!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past couple of months. We were both each others firsts and so far our sex has been mind blowing. BUT I'm starting to get bored of having ssex in the same positoin each time. We always have sex ...
A. 7 October 2009: Well, you need to show him what you want. As 'anon' pointed out, maybe he's just a little wimpy to take charge and doesn't ACTUALLY know what to do. Why not pounce on him and go on top? Or, when he's on top, simply push him up, and turn around - ... (read in full...)
Anyone with experience in the U.S. Navy?
Q. Well I'm considering joining the U.S. Navy. I think what I'm worried about most is that I'm 25. I know it's not OLD but it feels like it is to just be getting into that line of work. I sometimes feel like I have a lack of fulfillment in my life I ...
A. 7 October 2009: Seems like you've got all the right reasons to join the Navy. My fella joined the Marines at nearly 27, and yeah he feels older, but he definitely feels wiser, secure and seasoned. Maturity accounts for a lot and creates the right state of mind for ... (read in full...)
How ridiculous is this??
Q. Me and this guy I like have been mates for years and we've been flirting for a couple of months and everyone said he liked me, so I finally got up the courage to ask him out and he said he couldn't be with me because I was white and it'd be too ...
A. 4 October 2009: Yeah, no question that's ridiculous. And thus, good thing he said no or you'd be dating the biggest moron ever. Forget about silly people like him!! ... (read in full...)
How can I boost my bosom?
Q. i am 14 years old and my breasts are too small they look like one cup! What should i do to make them grow or atleast to make them look bigger without using medical stuff??...
A. 4 October 2009: What you need is a great bra. And maybe some papayas, hey - even if they don't make your girls grow, they're at least delicious. But anyway, you need to go into a store and find a nice padded bra that's comfortable and adds a little juice to your ... (read in full...)
Does his use of porn effect your relationship?
Q. 1 - Does his use of porn affect how you feel about him and having sex with him? 2 - Have you talked to him about how you feel and what did he say? 3 - What makes him/your relationship so great that you feel you HAVE to accept this if it makes ...
A. 3 October 2009: 1) Heck no! Because I know he's rather have me in a heartbeat and he makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive whenever we're together. Sometimes we use it together, or sometimes if I'm tired, I'll throw some on and throw him to the wolves.
... (read in full...)
Follow up on emigrating to Oz while my mum has cancer; is the relationship over?
Q. I am feeling more and more isolated by the day since I last posted my question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-mum-has-just-been-diagnosed-with-cancer.html. Thank you to everyone who replied the responses were very balanced and I have ...
A. 3 October 2009: That text is extremely cruel and shows how selfish he is. He doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve this, especially at such a difficult and trying time in your life. I think you need to lose the loser, you don't need added stress in your life. ... (read in full...)
Married women: would this creep you out?
Q. OK, I know this question is going to sound creepy to some of you. For the other, more open-minded married women, I’m interested in what you have to say. My wife and I have been together, exclusively, for 25+ years, married for 20+. We have ki...
A. 3 October 2009: I seriously think this would depend on the woman. For me personally, I wouldn't get freaked out - provided you were washing them. I think I would be flattered, to be honest! But, I agree with the first poster, I think you need to do something about ... (read in full...)
Girls, do you like it when guys wear eyeliner, or "guyliner"?
Q. do girls like it when a guy wears guyliner? i would like girls' opinions. thanks for any responses... ...
A. 3 October 2009: If you are a sexy pirate like Johnny Depp - YES. However, for my personal taste, guyliner on non-pirates is out.
I think it depends on the girl. Some girls like edgy guys, and some girls like really clean cut fellas. But hey, if you dig eyeliner... (read in full...)
Why use my pictures when he has access to much sexier porn ones?
Q. My boyfriend tells me that he loves to masturbate to half-naked pictures of me. I take this as a compliment, but I wonder; why would he use pictures of me when he has access to porn where the girls are fully naked and much sexier? Is he just ...
A. 3 October 2009: Don't sell yourself short, sister. Clearly he finds you sexier than any fake ass porn chick. You're a lucky lady, and your man clearly is happy with nothing but YOU.... (read in full...)
He doesn't know any of my friends but I invited him to a party, was that the wrong thing to do?
Q. I've known a guy for 2 months and been dating him for the last month. We see each other about 3 times a week and he always initiates getting together. I've been invited to my friend's birthday in a week's time and I told him about it. The other day ...
A. 1 October 2009: Don't worry about it! Now he finally gets to meet your friends, and he seems like he has a good attitude about it. Just make sure that you don't forget about him and try to involve him - so introduce him around, etc.
Have a great time, sweetnes... (read in full...)
Test all say negative but my husband thinks I"m pregnant
Q. hey, i am 19 year's old and my husband thinks im pregnant. and every test that i have taken said negative. and im having all of the symptoms. and not to mention i got off of the depo shot almost a year ago.. and i have had my period but not a normal ...
A. 1 October 2009: Well, get some peace of mind and take yourself to the doctor. They can tell you for sure if you're pregnant or not. Your period can be affected by lots of things, be it stress, a new sleep schedule, new diet, working out, anything really. So your ... (read in full...)
What is PMS?
Q. Does anyone know what PMS stands for ? I hear a lot of people saying it but i don't know what it means....
A. 30 September 2009: Pour Me Schnapps...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_syndrome
The essential thing to know: if a lady is complaining to you about something, anything, or if she's having a bad day and you can tell... do not - repeat DO NOT - mention th... (read in full...)
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