A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im 14 years old and all my friends are already having sex and giving guys BJs and drinking, drugs ect...i really don't fit in but for some reason im friends with them there nice people but i feel as if im werid cos i dont have a boyfriend and im quite polite and would never do those bad things...but i do feel like a child compared to them!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 I'm with Taste of India.
A lot of young people engage in VERY destructive behaviors because they think it's "mature," but then they realize the terrible, terrible consequences of their behaviors, sadly, when it's too late.
Your friends are making bad decisions! Do what you know is right, and you can't lose.
Think about the future and the dreams you have... and forget about all the pressure your friends put on you.
Do you want to go to college? Have a career? Own a horse? Etc. Think about how a bad choice could screw it all up for you, and make up your mind to make the right choices that will lead to a good future.
It takes willpower to do that, but don't give up. You'll look back and be glad you made the right choices instead of screwing up your life.
A
male
reader, Synyster24  +, writes (16 June 2009):
You're still young.At the age of 14,you and your friends shouldnt really think about doing those things.Its good that you are not like them.If you choose to be like one of them,you will definitely ruin your life,and you will regret it later.Think about it,if you became just like them,drinking,doing drugs and all that,do you think your family or parents would be proud?I dont think so.Whats the good use of drinking and doing drugs,anyway?Nothing at all,And not having a boyfriend and such doesnt make u weird.Its common.Ok?U will find one soon when u are older enough.So think before u regret everything,alright?Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (15 June 2009):
 People want to experiment different things at different times. Everyone if different.
Don't feel like a child because your not having sex, drinking and taking drugs. Believe me at a young age its not a good thing to get into, i found out the hard way.
Don't try to fit in with them. Do things at your speed because you don't want to do anything you regret later in life.
Livia
xoxox
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Well you and your friends are children still technically, but as for being compared to them, your maturity level far exceeds theirs and so i wouldn't worry about how you look to them or in fron of them. Any adult who sees the differnce in you and your friends is going to respect you, and think poorly of them.
They obviously have no concerns for their future. They are living for now and only now, and don't care about consequences, possibly becuase they aren't marture enough to understand consuquences.
Do yourself a favour and take a look at this site. Type "pregnant at 13" into the DC search bar and see just how many CHIDREN come on ere shocked because they had sex and it lead to pregnancy.
or lookup drug addiction and see how many tortured parents are seeking help for their kids who made stupid decisions.
Focus on yourself, your grades, your family, and GET SOME NEW FRIENDS. You're not the only one in your shcool who has chosen not to participate in these things. It's up to you to surround yourself with positive influences, and cut the bad ones out out of your life.
Don't worry what the kids are thinking of you. Just look forward to 5 years from now, when you're not pregnant, not diseased, passing everything, aren't destroying your body and are happily in a relationship, so should you choose to be.
You've made good decisions thus far and i applaud you.
~Sincerely yours.
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A
female
reader, Katy. +, writes (15 June 2009):
 That's because you are and so are they, but just trying to act more "mature" than they think they are. Trust me here, just because the majority if not all of your mates are doing all these things, it doesn't mean they're right for doing so.
Its pathetic and I don't honastly see how boasting about things like that and spending their spare time doing it is a good thing and is deffinatley not going to get them anywhere in life.
I'm exactly like you, but you know what, I don't care one bit, I'm my own person with my own opinions and just because I don't go out getting hammered every night of the week it isn't to say I don't have fun.
If they're your friends then will accept you any which way you chose to live your life, don't go along with anyone else and don't try to fit in, be yourself and learn to figure out what you want to do with your life, and the right boy will come along one day, but there's deffinatley no rush what so ever for that.
Katy x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Those friends could end up with health problems and unwanted pregnancies. Try and find some friends who are more like you. Then you won't feel like the odd one out. Join something you are interested in to find people with shared interests. Good for you that you don't want to waste your life on drugs etc.
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A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 You are actually being the most mature one of the group!
I shy away from reading the posts from some the younger group because its depressing to me. all of the talk of sex and blowjobs and such from such young, young children.
Please continue to be your own person. you be the leader not the follower and you will go far. as you know following the crowd can get you in trouble big time, but using your own instincts, intuition and common sense will be your true guide.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): You say that you "feel like a child" because of this.
Let me tell you a little piece of hard-learned information. And I say this will all possible respect:
You ARE still mostly a child. And your drinking, drugging, sexually-active friends are still mostly children too.
A child who carries a gun does not become more grown-up just because he/she carries it. A child who has sex or does drugs doesn't become more grown-up because of it either.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Your friends will all be therapy for the rest of their lives. You may feel like a child in comparison, but scrap that feelings. You are acting more like an adult than any of your friends, who are acting immature, unsafe and downright stupid. You are smarter than all of that - by not having sex, doing drugs, drinking - you are the one who is not risking disease, pregnancy, addiction, humiliation, and death. I'm not just being dramatic, sweetness... those are all very real consequences for your friends actions.
Just read through Dear Cupid and you'll see all the consequences. You'll see all the pregnant teens, the girls who have been humiliated while completely trashed... it's not an attractive scene. So protect yourself from all of that and make sure that you're always thinking about what's best for YOU. Your future, your body, YOU.
Good luck, sweetness and stay strong!
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A
female
reader, countrygal462 +, writes (15 June 2009):
 DO NOT..i repeat DO NOT do drugs or alcohol. there is too many things wrong with drugs! they are laced with crap that can get you addicted, sick, and even cause you to die. alcohol can do the same thing and people can things in your drink that will make you incapeable of doning anything and you could possibly get raped or hurt very badly. if and when you start having se maek sure you are on birth control and MAKE SURE THE GUY WEARS A CONDOM!! if you feel like you're the odd one out and that you're the weird one..well you're not. you are the smartest one. the side effects and the outcome of all that is sure not worth the 5 or 10 minute expirience. tell your friends they need to stop the drugs, drinking and sex because it will relly hurt them in the long run.
please read this carefully and think before you do anything.
hope all goes well.
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A
female
reader, laur2000 +, writes (15 June 2009):
Just because their doing it doesnt mean you have to do it too. They might be nice people but if they let you get involved in that then they are not true friends. Sex and things related to that are not things that you should rush into, they should be saved for sombody that you really like and feel comfortable with otherwise you could regret it. Nobody wants to be known as easy. You might feel like a baby now but you'll feel so much better about yourself in the long run.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Well you and your friends are children still technically, but as for being compared to them, your maturity level far exceeds theirs and so i wouldn't worry about how you look to them or in fron of them. Any adult who sees the differnce in you and your friends is going to respect you, and think poorly of them.
They obviously have no concerns for their future. They are living for now and only now, and don't care about consequences, possibly becuase they aren't marture enough to understand consuquences.
Do yourself a favour and take a look at this site. Type "pregnant at 13" into the DC search bar and see just how many CHIDREN come on ere shocked because they had sex and it lead to pregnancy.
or lookup drug addiction and see how many tortured parents are seeking help for their kids who made stupid decisions.
Focus on yourself, your grades, your family, and GET SOME NEW FRIENDS. You're not the only one in your shcool who has chosen not to participate in these things. It's up to you to surround yourself with positive influences, and cut the bad ones out out of your life.
Don't worry what the kids are thinking of you. Just look forward to 5 years from now, when you're not pregnant, not diseased, passing everything, aren't destroying your body and are happily in a relationship, so should you choose to be.
You've made good decisions thus far and i applaud you.
~Sincerely yours.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Why not take some time to feel proud of yourself for not doin those "bad" things, huh?
"but i do feel like a child compared to them!"
No, you are going at the right pace.
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A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Don't feel like a child at all.. You not joining in with al these things then is showing that you are more of a grown up then all of your friends that are doing all the stuff already and the thing is when they get older and look back on what they were like as a child they will regret it and tiink what an idiot they had been..
Whatever you do don't follow your crowd and do not let your peers pressure you into anything as this is when accidents happen and your friends will not know how too cope with it.. Good luck and be safe x
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