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... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
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Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 29 October 2007: You've made a nice clean break. Keep it that way. If he had wanted you, he would have called you "in about a week" like you requested in your text message. IMHO, he definitely missed out on a true chance at a wonderful relationship. His loss. ... (read in full...)
My bf is insensitive and we rarely see each other. How do I break up w/ my him? Also, I'm cheating on him w/ my boss! Should I still date my boss?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. untill a few months ago it was great, but for a long time our relationship has been disintergrating, especially over the summer where certain incidents have driven us apart. one example is that ...
A. 10 October 2007: Break up with your current guy (both of them). Don't tell the honest one about the infidelity. You're going to leave him anyway, no reason to add insult to injury. And don't prolong it. Rip the band-aid off and let him heal, so that he can find ... (read in full...)
Should I have sanctioned my girl to sleep with another guy?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm very upset just now. My girlfriend has left me, because she thought that our relationship was getting too serious, when we're such a young age. She did this, just over 4 months ago. Just before that time, she had planned to go on...
A. 10 October 2007: PM me. I'll take this private.... (read in full...)
Should I have sanctioned my girl to sleep with another guy?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm very upset just now. My girlfriend has left me, because she thought that our relationship was getting too serious, when we're such a young age. She did this, just over 4 months ago. Just before that time, she had planned to go on...
A. 10 October 2007: You said: "Cutting the crap a little here: Do you see my point in any of this, or do I not have case at all? You seem awfully pro-ex at the moment. Is this all my fault?"
I think that the two of you were badly matched. Asexy said it pretty w... (read in full...)
How can I get my mom to trust me?
Q. ok so my mom wont let me date till 18 and then i sneak off and get a boyfriend and she finds out after i tell her when she asked and she is fine with it until she finds out about his dad.. does drugs and stuff yeah well i dont think the dad has ...
A. 9 October 2007: Okay, two strikes: sneaking off and the bad example his dad sets for him. You're going to have to work really hard.
The first thing you do is you're not alone with him until you're either older, or your mom fully trusts you. This will be hard.... (read in full...)
Should I have sanctioned my girl to sleep with another guy?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm very upset just now. My girlfriend has left me, because she thought that our relationship was getting too serious, when we're such a young age. She did this, just over 4 months ago. Just before that time, she had planned to go on...
A. 9 October 2007: Please don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I don't mean it badly. But why did you ask your parents? This was between you and your girlfriend. How would you have felt if she had broken your confidence about something that was just between the ... (read in full...)
Should I have sanctioned my girl to sleep with another guy?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm very upset just now. My girlfriend has left me, because she thought that our relationship was getting too serious, when we're such a young age. She did this, just over 4 months ago. Just before that time, she had planned to go on...
A. 8 October 2007: She was going to share the room with three other people, right? One of them was him. And it's not like she asked you for permission to have sex. She told you about it beforehand. I think she was being straightforward.
The truth is you don't tr... (read in full...)
Can he be arrested for this?
Q. hey my friend just told me shes pregnant and shes only 13 and her bf is 17, she asked me if her bf can get arrested cuz shes under 16 but i didn't know so can anyone tell me if he can. thanx anyone who answers...
A. 8 October 2007: It depends on your local law. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape for some help generally:
"Age of consent is usually the age at which an individual can legally have intercourse with an adult, but in some jurisdictions the AOC esta... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight but don't want to be muscular . . .
Q. i want to loose weight. im eating good and exercising. but i dont want muscles to show but i want to loose weight off my legs but i think the only way of doing that is to exercise but then i wont have lady like looking legs. help...
A. 8 October 2007: If by "lady like" you mean "cottage cheese thighs" then by all means, stop exercising.
Seriously, though, loose weight by eating right and exercising. Toned muscles are very sexy (you can stop short of the body-building shape). Ask any guy whet... (read in full...)
Is it my duty to satisfy him?
Q. I still have feeling for my son father, they are not as strong as when we first broke up, but I do still have feelings and him keeping in constant contact does not help my "getting over him process". He is in a new relationship, I am in one also...
A. 8 October 2007: It is NOT your duty. You left him and are with someone else. If anything, your only "duties" are to your son and your new guy.
Become a broken record: say the same thing over and over again. "No." Do not give him your reasons; they're ... (read in full...)
He only wants me for sex. How can I get it back to how we were in the beginning?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for around 3 years.We work together and it consists of long hours and not much fun. All it ever seems is our relationship evolves round the job, he only comes near me for sex, when i just want comfort I don't get it, we d...
A. 7 October 2007: My really great cousin once told me "what you tolerate becomes your standard." If you haven't told him that this is NOT alright, then he's going to assume things are just peachy. I agree 100% with "baby duck"; talk to him. Let him know that you ... (read in full...)
We used to watch porn together - now he does it more often and we have sex less! Is this a problem or am I trippin?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend is 33 and I am 22. We have been together for a little over three years. When we got together I knew he watched porn, I didnt have a problem with that because I watch as well, sometime with him. For the last few days he has started ...
A. 5 October 2007: I think that the fact that he's watching more port and being with you less is a bad sign. Although I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with watching porn (guys or girls) I do think it's a problem when the porn starts to replace ... (read in full...)
I still care for my ex and when I texted him, he responded "I'm on a date, and she's cool!" What does this really mean?
Q. Hi everyone, My ex and I have been split for many months now. Throughout that time, until mid-July, we were pulling the "confusion" card whenever we saw each other, which wasn't much since we were pulling it long-distance anyways. In t...
A. 5 October 2007: Two things: either he's put you into the friend mode, and thought he could share this and you'd be happy for him, or he wanted you to get the hint and stop pining for him. Either way, the best thing you can do right now is to move on. Good ... (read in full...)
My ex seems to be trying to make me miserable
Q. I've recently just broken up with my ex-boyfriend. We both agreed to move on. I've been dating a guy i really like. My ex started to kick up a fuss, and has been constantly arguing with me. Now i find out he's dating one of my friends! I don't ...
A. 4 October 2007: The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Hate/love require strong emotion. He's flipped his feelings into, for lack of a better term, the dark side. Once he no longer has feelings for you, he'll be indifferent and there won't be a ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 4 October 2007: One last one. Is there a way when we're posting a URL for the query string to be hyperlinked too? Otherwise the link doesn't go to the right place. thanks!... (read in full...)
I can't have this baby..my bf is an alcoholic and an angry person! Help!
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant and can't have this baby because of being in a really bad and progressively worse relationship. My boyfriend is an alcoholic and overall an angry person and so is his family. He wants to have this baby but I don't want to ...
A. 4 October 2007: Many women lose the baby in the first trimester. It happens so frequently that many women wait until the second trimester before they tell anyone they're expecting, just in case. If there's a miscarriage in the first trimester, there is almost ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for her to find herself?
Q. I spilt with my gf of 5 years about 5 weeks ago. We split because she started saying that she felt that she needed to go travelling on her own and find her self as it were. I then said fine and broke up with her. I love her still and miss her ...
A. 4 October 2007: Don't wait for her. If you keep up the contact, in any form, you won't be able to get her out of your system. This means that you won't be able to find anyone else, either. So while she's out there finding yourself, you're stretching out the pain ... (read in full...)
We're engaged but then she starts acting weird... turns out she had a "crush" on another guy and is wondering "what if"... Will this work for us?
Q. My fiance and I have been together about 1.5 years. We just recently got engaged and everything was fine. We had talked alot prior to the engagment and she had told me thats def. what she wanted. But soon after our engagment she started acting ...
A. 4 October 2007: Break off the engagement.
At the very least, you should both be dating other people in addition to each other. She's obviously not ready to commit to you, and so an engagement is premature. The ground rules for dating other people should b... (read in full...)
Not sure if he is mad with me for not letting him live with me
Q. I told him he could not live with me, I haven't heard from him ever since. Is he mad or just moved on for good?...
A. 4 October 2007: Sounds like you just missed out having a mooching freeloader for a roommate. He's moved on, and you're so much better off without him!... (read in full...)
Why shouldn't I have a baby?
Q. i crave for a baby. i am 17 and quite mature for my age. i know 10 girls one of which is my best friend, all my age who have had babys last year after leaving school. i went to college. my boyfriend and i have been together 4 3years in november ...
A. 3 October 2007: This PERSON that you're going to create -- it's really selfish to bring him/her into the world just because you can't think of anything else to do. You're giving him/her a lot to live up to, since you're making it YOUR purpose.
*Do you have a h... (read in full...)
My younger BF won't listen.
Q. My boyfriend is 16 and I am 20. He grew up in a very Christian baptist family and went to private school when I met him. Long story short, he believed that he was "in love" with me, started living with me and was kicked out of private school b...
A. 3 October 2007: You need to decide what's best for you and let him do what's best for him. Otherwise you've just replaced his mother as the woman who tells him what to do.
What you will accept in a mate is one of the things you can decide for yourself. For exam... (read in full...)
How can I keep my husband's son from lying and stealing from us?
Q. ive been with my husband now for 7 years, his son and my 3 children live with us. his son consistently steals from us all (its more me and the other children than his dad) it is anything up to 5 times a week. He steals money, food, takes stuff out ...
A. 2 October 2007: BTW, I forgot to add. These new rules/consequences must be House Rules. Of course your kids aren't going to break them, but if for some reason they do, you need to follow through with the required punishment. It has to be consistent and seen to ... (read in full...)
How can I keep my husband's son from lying and stealing from us?
Q. ive been with my husband now for 7 years, his son and my 3 children live with us. his son consistently steals from us all (its more me and the other children than his dad) it is anything up to 5 times a week. He steals money, food, takes stuff out ...
A. 2 October 2007: What you do depends a lot on how much your husband is willing/able to do. You must provide a united front or you become the evil step-mother and he'll just ignore you. Does his dad at least agree that there is a problem?
First, stop yelling ... (read in full...)
My last 2 periods have been late. Does that mean I am pregnant?
Q. we have always used condoms but for the last 2 of my periods i have been late by five days or more, does this mean im pregnant? im really worried and am meant to be going on the pill when my next period starts but by taking the pill would is affect ...
A. 2 October 2007: There are lots of reasons why you could be late; stress is one of them. But so is pregnancy, and it is possible to have your period when you're pregnant (though not likely). Please see a doctor, before you go on the pill, to make sure. Tell her ... (read in full...)
Nipple erection problems?
Q. Hi....me and my bf of 2 years have a VERY HEALTHY sex life lots of variety and fun. we also talk about everything but something that is really getting me down is the fact that I cant get his nipples to get hard?!! when its cold they erect but some ...
A. 2 October 2007: My husband loves it when I play with his nipples. I think every guy is different.
Of course, he's really different, in that he has a nipple piercing, lol. But he does like it very much when I play with that...... (read in full...)
I am 17 and pregnant
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, My name is Fiona and I am seventeen years old and I recently found out that I am pregnant. I am very confused and I really don’t know what to do and I still haven’t told anyone. Please help! I thoug...
A. 2 October 2007: As I see it, you have three choices: (1) have it and give it up, (2) have it and keep it, (3) don't have it. (Choice 3 may not be available given your religion, but it's up to you.)
If you're not going with Choice 3 you should probably talk to ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Sorry to keep asking for more stuff, but since you're asking... [grin].
Is there any way we can edit our own posts? (Maybe with an "edited by __" added underneath). I can't tell you how often I've hit "Add Your Answer" only to find that I'v... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: It might help with knowing which anon poster said what, but it won't help the order problem, lol. But thanks.
It's just weird when someone says "Do this" and you respond "That's what I always do". But IN BETWEEN another post comes up and says... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi Andrew,
not sure what you mean by ID numbers. What do the numbers refer to?
-p... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi again.
You said: "Penta. If you have a good answer to an old question you can just copy and paste the full link and point the asker there."
Yeah, I know that, it's just that once it's off "my" page it's hard to find. Maybe if we can add to... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: It would be nice if things were posted in order. I know that some are moderated and take longer to post, but then suddenly your answer doesn't apply (maybe you responded to the "last" post, and then there are two posts in-between).
About the rati... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but my gf is never ready. Are there ways to make a girl ready?
Q. hey frnds ! i wanna know how to make a girl ready for sex??? i need to have sex but my girlfriend is never ready to do so!! i can't controle it....i need to have sex...plzzz help me out!!!!!!! thanxxxxxxxxx...
A. 30 September 2007: You're not an animal. You CAN control it. Your hands are right there if you need some release. Don't put this on your girlfriend.
If you force her to start before you're ready, you are much less a man than you give yourself credit for. Her bod... (read in full...)
I am shorter than average, and my sisters upset me by hiding my things in places I can't reach. How do I handle it?
Q. I am a shorter than average person,i am 4'11 tall or not so tall.My problem is that my 2 sisters are very abusive to me and i am the older one.This has always been going on especially while growing up.My 2 sisters are 5'8 and 5'9 tall.When my ...
A. 28 September 2007: Don't let them get a rise out of you. They are obviously enjoying your distress, so don't share that with them. Purchase a step-stool (or 2) and keep them handy. When you can't reach something, get the stool and get it yourself quietly. Don't ... (read in full...)
He never makes a sound during sex. Should it bother me, or are guys just not as verbal as girls?
Q. My boyfriend is not verbal at all in the bedroom. He never makes a single sound when we are having sex. He always turns his face away from me when he is coming too. Like he doesnt want me to see him (i guess thats why his fave position is doggy ...
A. 28 September 2007: Some guys are very verbal. And some girls are extremely quiet. You should ask him. Tell him that find his excitement sexy and that you'd like him to share that with you. It's critical that you talk to him about this. If you can't talk to him ... (read in full...)
I want to make sure my teacher doesn't get into trouble before I make steps towards a relationship?
Q. Will my teacher get into trouble if we have a relationship? I'm 18 and my teacher is right out of university he's 23. I'v always dated older men but this is different. He is a teacher at my school. I really like but i don't know how he feels I c...
A. 28 September 2007: He could get fired. The problem with student/teacher relationships, even with close ages and both of you being consulting adults, is the power difference. Even if he never would, he COULD affect your status/grade/etc., so it's considered unethical ... (read in full...)
Can you check for STD's with a simple blood test?
Q. my girlfriend has had a past relationship and is wondering.. can you check for STI's with a simple blood test? thank you...
A. 28 September 2007: Some, like AIDS and hepatitis, yes. Others, no. You need to have spear tests, etc.... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: I'd love to be able to see (in aggregate for each question) how my answers were rated. It would be nice if that could appear on my page or on my account. If my rating takes a hit, it would be nice to know which advice did it...... (read in full...)
My ex keeps harassing me, even though I'm married now. He was also aggresive to my husband. What to do?
Q. My ex keeps harassing me. We broke up 2 years ago, and I am married and have 2 kids now. He treated me like absolute dirt, he hit me, mentally abused me, he wouldn't work, he lied all the time. I gave him 5 years of chances and then I had it ...
A. 28 September 2007: almost forgot 2 things. Your friends/family should send e-mails to you to file, too, so that you have all the info. Keep these things in your e-mail account, as well as a printed copy of each in a folder, just in case. And the first e-mail you ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps harassing me, even though I'm married now. He was also aggresive to my husband. What to do?
Q. My ex keeps harassing me. We broke up 2 years ago, and I am married and have 2 kids now. He treated me like absolute dirt, he hit me, mentally abused me, he wouldn't work, he lied all the time. I gave him 5 years of chances and then I had it ...
A. 28 September 2007: The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. As long as you and yours are in no danger from this guy, the do not let anything he does get a reaction. If he gets no reaction whatever, he'll get tired and go away.
If there is any danger w... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 27 September 2007: I'm not sure how this would be programmed, but there are lots of questions that are basically variations of other questions, and I feel like I'm typing the same thing I said to someone else. Is there a way to just say: go to this question and read ... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 11 September 2007: I think you did exactly the right thing, and yes, I think you should walk away now.... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 10 September 2007: If you can't get him to be clear, then it's time to stop the slumber party. No more heading to bed; it's a tease for both of you (him because he thinks he might get lucky, you because you think it might lead to a relationship). I like very mu... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 31 August 2007: I think it's time to be frank with him. Tell him the reason that you haven't wanted any kind of physical relationship with him is that you're not interested in that kind of relationship with a man who is unavailable. You enjoy his friendship, but ... (read in full...)
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