A
male
age
41-50,
*ocBroc555
writes:I'm a very tactile person and I love to show affection with touch, hugging and cuddling, etc. My fiancee doesn't like hugs or cuddles... except as a precursor to making love and only when she initiates it. This leaves me feeling like just a piece of meat.This lack of contact has me feeling light a lighthouse on a pinnacle of rock, battered by emotional storms and yet standing completely alone.Isn't it normal for women to like cuddling and smooching??
View related questions:
fiance, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Hey there,
I am not a touchy-feely person. I'm not a real cuddler. I like kissing, hugging is okay, but I like it at the right place and time... but as for cuddling? Usually makes me just feel uncomfortable, smothered, suffocated. It's too much! I feel like the guy is just draping on me and I'm thinking, "god, BACK OFF!!!!". Being cuddled usually just drives me bananas.
The guy I'm with now, he's a real cuddler, and we've definitely had to work at finding a happy medium. I've loosened up - and, he's the only guy who I've ever had any interest in being that close to. So, I don't mind a little cuddling now. Hugs I like, but sometimes they can still get to me and I just feel overwhelmed and too close for comfort.. But, he's definitely toned it down for me and doesn't feel the need to drape on me, like some of the guys from my past have.
You are your fiancé clearly have a happy medium to find, and some issues to work out - I'm just saying that she's not a freak of nature, I'm the same way (though I do enjoy sex, and I do like kissing). I love my fella to bits and pieces and show him how much I do all the time. He knows! We have a good thing going. But he also knows to not cuddle and hug me 24/7 or I regress and just feel suffocated rather than loved.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): for me personaly nothing there is nothing better than a big cuddle and passionate kissing its a wonderful feeling
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): It really depends on the woman.
I have a friend that don't appreciate guys who often cuddle too much because she thinks they act like a grown child, always needy. Another friends of mine loves to cuddle with her significant other. I often seen them at the park or in the hallway.
If your fiancee cuddles to initiate sexual intercourse, maybe she feels cuddling can only lead to sex.
Have you talked to her about it?
Maybe she needs to feel dominant or at least that she still has some kind of power.
Try to start with small touches first to get her use to it on a normal basis.
...............................
A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (12 June 2009):
 as far as im concerned women yes we love cuddling and kissing but believe it or not sometimes it is to much. however, it does vary from women to women, usually men dont hug and cuddle and kiss alot it is the women who are use to doing it, just give her time to get use to the fact that your a "new breed" of man if you will. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Different people like different things, regardless of gender. Should is never a good word to use for this type of thing. Some women just don't like cuddling, and it doesn't mean either of you isn't normal or is a bad person. If it's leaving you feeling bad or unloved, you should definitely talk to her. Seeing as you are getting married, being able to communicate about something this important is well, important.
...............................
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (12 June 2009):
 not all girls like that sort of stuff.may be she is quite shy about this kind of stuff.....talk to her find out why she's gone a bit cold tell her you want to be cuddling her so you're closer to her.maybe somethings bothering her she doesn't want to share it with you that's why she's being distant.and no showing affectionmaybe she find affection a sign of weakness for her talk to her though find out why she's being like it.definate communication needed.hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (12 June 2009):
 It depends on the girl entirely . Take my family for example we r not affectionate towards each other at all unless we want something and in your partners case thiS is sex! Maybe do not over indulge your partner with too much affection and keepIt to a minimum and then build up on it and see how this work!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Ya she's weird.Some people have their buttons though. I know lots of couples that are affectionate but in bed they can't stand to touch each other. "It's too hot" "It makes me claustrophobic" are things I've heard. It's not that they don't love each other, but its just personal preference.I wouldn't worry too much about it. But if it bothers you, you should just ask her about it.Physical contact is one of the most important things about relationships. It's how you express physical affinity and being attracted to them. I love it when I'm with a man who loves touching me. Whether its while we're cooking, watching tv, in the movies, or in bed. It makes me feel cared for.So... I have no clue what issue with it would be. Maybe you have bed breath or clammy hands ;) Just kidding. But it could be something really minute like that, which is totally fixable.
...............................
|
