A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello AuntsI am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now.I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary School (about 5 yrs old - yes I know,this is a very long time ago). We went to the same junior school, the same secondary school, and he briefly went to the same university as me. We never really socialised together - my friends were not his, and as he was a year older we never really talked. However, we were always VERY aware of each other. Catching each others eyes, always knowing when the other was about (in some sort of weird psychic way), we always knew when they are going to drive past from the opposite direction to where you are looking - almost being drawn to turn round and look. I cant explain this very well. Its just sort of a gut feeling - some random connection I dont understand.Anyway - when we got older, we used to flirt in passing, altho we were both very shy. I admit to fancying him for many many years, in fact I still do.WE are older now, and I have moved back to my old town. He is still there, working in a good job. We found each other again quite by chance at the beginning of the year, and all those strange feelings and that "connection" are still evidently there. We have started a sort of friendship, emails, texts, phonecalls etc, and it is amazing how similar we actually are. We have a huge amount in common, and I am very sad, that we wasted so much time in the past. I have always secretly fancied this guy, I am sure he knows it, as it was blatantly obvious when I was younger that I would blush every time he came near me. There were so many times when we could have got together - but neither of us was brave enough to take that next step.I think what I am asking, is do you think it is too late for anything romantic to happen between us? Has anyone else felt this connection with someone for so long? And if so, what was the outcome?Any thoughts would be helpful :) Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know, I really do not want to be "rebound girl". But i do like him a lot. I always have. I would never do anything with a man who was in a relationship and he does know this. I just think that he has been dropping far more suggestive and cheeky things into our conversations. He really is laying the flirting on now. I do flirt back - which is probably bad, as I know he has a girlfriend. But I feel so much for him, and after all the years, its so difficult not to. He knows that I like him - if he doesnt then he is a thick idiot! I would never try and split them up, but he seems to be hinting that they will not be together for much longer. I know I shouldnt get hopeful - but why would he tell me these things?
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 I do believe that he's dropping hints alright, but if he has a girlfriend don't do anything with him!! It is always messy to get involved with a fella in a relationship, so stay clear of anything like that! Keep up with the chatting, but keep it casual and not anything that could get you or him in trouble! But at least let him know that you're interested... it seems like you've been doing that. Wait out his failing relationship. Then you'll be there to pick up the pieces and console the guy! Just make sure you don't get yourself into a "rebound" position!!Good luck!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi guys
I know its been a while since I updated you on the situation. Things have stayed much the same as before, except there is now far more open flirting - and it is very regular. We still chat daily and he always texts me good morning every day - and gets worried If i do not reply asking if I am ok!
I found out that he did actually have a girlfriend, he very rarely talks about her, but I think things are bad between them. He mentioned the other day that he may well be needing a dating service in the near future! I didnt know what to say to that, so I sort of changed the subject.
Do you think he is telling me this as a way of dropping hints?
I am quite confused.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 June 2009):
Hey there,
Well!! You've made good progress!! Good for you!
This is what I think you should do. You're talking all the time now, why don't you make time to go get coffee or lunch? I think seeing each other face to face in a non-threatening, not exactly a date situation will be best. Then you can really catch the vibes of the situation, see how flirty he is. And then, I think it's completely appropriate to ask him if he's seeing anyone.
I really hope this works out, it's already going in the right direction!! Good luck and keep us posted!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys, sorry for the lateness of the reply.
Well, things have not progressed that much, but we are still chatting every day, 5 or 6 times some days! We have so much in common and we get along so easily. The spark is so obviously there. He texts me all the time, first thing in the morning before work, during work, emails, during the day, always ending with xxx
The thing is,I still dont know if he is actually single. He has not mentioned any girlfriend, and there is no mention of one on his facebook page. Would a guy be this active in communication IF he had a girlfriend?
I am scared of asking in case there is someone, and I dont want to look like a fool.
Your advice has been great so far :) Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Yes, it most certainly is! The circumstances are different but the feelings are the same. And when the connection is made, it cannot be broken!
If you would like to talk privately...feel free to pvt msg me!
Britt
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 May 2009):
Hey darlin,
Next time he asks you, ACCEPT. Or, if you're feeling gutsy (and I hope you are), you should go ahead and ask him to do something casual.
Don't be scared - the worst that can happen is that it doesn't end up going anywhere and you stay buddies forever. But maybe something will end up happening - if you let it - and it could turn into a really great relationship.
GO FOR IT! Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ladies
Its nice to know that what I am feeling is not completely ridiculous! I think this is just something that has been going on for so many years - ive lost count almost! I can honestly say I have never had the same feeling with any other guy I have ever been with. I worry that maybe this has subconsciously influenced the paths of my relationships.
India - He has suggested a few things, on a very casual level, but I think im just a little scared!
Britt - you say you know how this feels? Is that from personal experience?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 May 2009):
Sister, it's not even close to too late! It's only too late if he's married or one of you dies. So get on it!! You guys have a history together and that can be a great start to a great relationship. You will never know until you try and you don't want to be yearning for him for the rest of your life. you'll be kicking yourself if you never take that next step.
Get this ball rolling. Ask him if he wants to go get coffee, grab a drink, go to an art opening, go to the movies, go to the zoo, get some lunch - ANYTHING. As Britt says, TAKE A RISK!!
Good luck, sweetness!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): It's never too late for anything!!!! I understand the connection you feel, and to have it for so long is amazing! It will probably always be with you!
Pursue it! Go for it with all your heart!
We never know the outcome...but if we don't take the risk we will never, ever know!
I wish you luck!
Britt
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