A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have had a few boyfriends in my time, but i have never gone 'all the way' with any of them, coz i have never felt like they deserve it. but im now almost 18 and my best guy friend and i have been talking alot. then it ended up with us both confession that we wanted to loose our virginity both before we turned 18. I was wonder if you think its a good idea to sleep with my good friend, he said 'dont you think its better to loose it to someone you have been mates with then some boyfriend that you will never see again' im just worried that maybe we wont be such great friends if things turn sour, im scared that it might be a mistake, i just need opinions Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuestionCupid  +, writes (15 June 2009):
BAD IDEA. Listen to "tasteofIndia" because it ruined my friendship with my good friend because he started to have feelings. Dont do it.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Bad plan, sister! These things always manage to backfire. They really always do... when you "cross that line", as Darkstars says, it just somehow gets so much messier and more complicated. Someone gets feelings, someone gets awkward and weird - the friendship somehow disintegrates. And then you look back thinking "friends will last longer than boyfriends, huh?". So, if you want to keep this friendship strong, keep it as friends and don't get things all tied up in knots with the added craziness of sex!
If your best friend really cares about you and really is interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with you - ask yourself, why then does he not want to date you? It seems like most often, guys just want this NSA arrangement so that they don't have to put in the work or the time that a girlfriend takes. But holding out for the right guy, a guy who loves you, respects you, loves kissing you and holding you, you have fun with and laugh with, who you are CERTAIN won't drop you like a fly or leave you high and dry... that is worth it. Knowing that you're committed to each other makes sex that much more fulfilling and amazing. Not to mention, sex takes quite a few times to become "good". And it gets better and better when the person you're with you're totally comfortable with and love to death.
Whatever you decide to do is fine, but this is a story you'll remember for the rest of your life. And you don't want to take the chance that you'll regret not holding out for the next guy in your life - maybe the next boyfriend you have will be that really special guy, and you'll already have lost it for the hell of it. Oh yes, and if you do decide to have sex with your guy friend, make sure it is SAFE SAFE SAFE!
Good luck and I hope it all works out. It is up to you, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (15 June 2009):
 I would advise that you wait for 'the right' person to come along. You could lose a good friend and you don't want to do that as good friends are rare and worth keeping, he may have forgotten that as well. Wait, the right guy and the right time is on its way just give it a chance to arrive.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 hun don't rush into it.if you want to lose it to someone you truely love and care about like a boyfriend then you do it when the time is right.you don't do it to lose it by the time you're 18 hell i'm 20 i've not lost it yet.i'm waiting for the right time and right person.in some ways he is actually pressuring you to bed with him you may not think he is but he is he's telling you that it should be better with a friend.... when it could totally ruin the friendship..there is no big rush and you'll probably end up regretting it so i say you wait until you get a really decent guy someone whom you love and whome loves you and do it when you BOTH feel it's the best time.you don't want to do it with someone whose saying that you should do it with a friend rather than a boyfriend.that doesn't even make sense.you do it when you feel it's right hun. find yourself a decent guy otherwise you'll end up regretting it.hope this helps hun :)good luckx x x xx x x x
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (15 June 2009):
 I think it's a bad idea. The first time you have sex with someone can be embarrassing enough when it's with someone you love and trust absolutely, let alone someone that's just a friend. Not to mention what it might do to the friendship if something awkward does happen, or feelings are developed after doing it.I also think the idea of setting an age to lose it by is a bad one! Would it be so bad if you're 18 and 3 months when you have sex? This concept strikes me as something you're choosing to do because of how it may appear to others to be a virgin over the age of 18. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how it comes across.I'm not religious or someone who is super conservative about sex but I think you should hold out for someone you have feelings beyond friendship for, and can trust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is not a good reason to "have sex", hon. And why the thing about wanting to "lose it" before eighteen? Making love in an intimate way should never be thought of as "losing it". It is something that should be given,...to someone very special, and with whom you have a very serious commitment. You are the only one who can know who that special person is. Don't let others determine it for you. And never feel that you are under any pressure or obligation to anyone to give something like this. I can assure you, if it is not with someone that is very special, it isn't worth ...anything. It doesn't even feel good. And you feel silly after it is over.
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