A
female
age
36-40,
*esirewhitefire
writes:My mother in law is a real tag along. She wants to go everywhere with me and my husband. Tomorrow, we're going to my Aunt's funeral. She's not invited because it's intermediate family only; we couldn't afford to have a public funeral. We're having a small get together afterwards with only 15 people. My mother in law is under the impression that she's going with us. She didn't even know my Aunt, she wants to go just so she can get out of the house and have a free lunch. (Yes, that's the kind of person she is.) How do we tell her that she can't come? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 I'm sorry for your loss and I'm with Old Guy. He's right on the money there.
And yes, it should be your HUSBAND who needs to talk to her. It's his mother.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Be straight with her. Tell her, "I'm so sorry, but this event is for immediate family only. I'll let my family know that you're thinking of them." and then go. Don't let her weasel her way into attending a funeral where she isn't welcome! This is you and your families time, so be firm with your M-I-L.
Or, as OldGuy says, get your husband to be the one to do this. It is his Mother after all! I'm very sorry for your loss, my dear and hope everything works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): I would hope your husband will be suitably blunt with her. If not, then you have to be. It might, however, be as simple as not picking her up, or if she still drives, not telling her where your family is gathering.
Sometimes funerals are large, impersonal affairs, and a freeloader won't be noticed. That's obviously not the case with your aunt, and your family's wishes must be respected.
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A
female
reader, Olly  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Just explain the situation. Tell her that she can't come because it's invite only and although you would love her to come she can't. Let her know its only really close family and maybe she'll get the picture that she would be out of place.
Gotta hate mother-in-laws eh?
:)
Hope I helped a little
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Explain to her that it is a very sad event, and only people who were close to your Aunt are allowed to come
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A
female
reader, pinkbump  +, writes (18 June 2009):
well I would let your husband do that part, should be easier for him to explain things without her getting offended. if it was my mother I would just say look its just a small get together for family, so maybe you should just stay at home.Am sure she'll understand ! maybe take her out another day for some lunch :P that should cheer her up !
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom +, writes (18 June 2009):
just be straight fowords with her I mean if you tell her she can't do anything to you so it's not as hard as you think. And just tell her the truth she'll be more under standing if she is not then just tell your husband to talkto her. This ya girl, peace.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): I think you should just tell her the truth and promise to bring her out for a meal after that.
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