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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Am I a slut or are my friends just prudes?
Q. So I hook up with a lot of guys, not as in have sex, but oral and makeout and stuff, a lot of my friends tell me I'm a slut, and they say that they're kidding, but I don't think they are. It could just be because they are prude, because I don't ...
A. 8 July 2009: I think your friends are being a little mean by calling you names like that, but it does seem like maybe they're a little worried about you. Making out with lots of guys, okay. But oral sex with a lot of guys is totally dangerous and could earn you ... (read in full...)
Now that we are back together, he's not showing me love and respect. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend and I just got back together after taking a break for a few weeks. I initiated the break because I just wasn't feeling respected or appreciated. He would forget to call me, not show up for a date and then have some lame excuse, saying ...
A. 7 July 2009: It seems like while I can feel really sad for him, that's still no excuse for his behavior or you staying around. Yes, it's easy to pity him... and his Mom sounds like a huge challenge for him and your fella probably needs a good amount of ... (read in full...)
Now that we are back together, he's not showing me love and respect. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend and I just got back together after taking a break for a few weeks. I initiated the break because I just wasn't feeling respected or appreciated. He would forget to call me, not show up for a date and then have some lame excuse, saying ...
A. 6 July 2009: I really agree with Peter Pan. I'm not really sure why you let this guy back into your life, and why you are continuing to let him get away with the same things he was doing to you before! He hasn't learned, he hasn't changed and he's clearly not as ... (read in full...)
How do I go about this crush on my best friend's Bf?
Q. Hi, I have been dying to tell someone about this.... I have a huge crush on one of my best friend's boyfriends. He is funny, caring and good looking. He is also a very touchy feely person and when she is not around gives me hugs and snuggle...
A. 6 July 2009: Well, now you've definitely crossed the line. I would come clean to your best friend as soon as you can so that she doesn't learn from anyone else. You need to apologize big time and stay the hell away from her boyfriend! Clearly, he is hard to ... (read in full...)
Will sexual attraction ruin the begining of a relationship?
Q. Ok. This guy and I started going out after we kissed randomly (i know, :(), we were pretty much as a couple for a week (don't judge us please) and then split. The thing is, we were sweethearts, like, saying cute nicknames to each other, being really ...
A. 6 July 2009: Hi there, sweetness!
It is clear that your head is in the right place. And it is very wise that you don't want this guy thinking about you just as a booty call or just wanting you for sex. You're better and classier than that - not to mention,... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I really want a baby!
Q. Ok guys I know this may seem a little extreme or even stupid, but I am 17 and I want a baby. I have always been obessed with children and in my household sex before marriage is frowned upon. I had sex between 7-10 times and I've been trying to get ...
A. 6 July 2009: Think about this - do you really want a baby coming into a family where your parents think of him or her negatively and are condemning you for having a child? Not only will that be rough on you, but it will make a happy relationship between your ... (read in full...)
What do girls think of a man who cries?
Q. alright hi girls this for you: what do you think of man who cries ( emotional person) can you be with him, do you think he is weak I can't be with such a person or ... tell me, what if he cries for you, beg u ... ...
A. 4 July 2009: I don't mind a guy who cries a little when the situation calls for crying - someone dies, a major emotional fight, a really sad episode of Oprah... but a guy who is verging on pathetic - i.e. begging, bawling and pleading for me... that just is too ... (read in full...)
Do girls prefer the scruffy hair look or the clean cut short hair look, which do they think is sexier?
Q. do girls prefer scruffy hair look, or clean, cut short hair in guys? what is it they find sexy about it? im fairly short (174cm) and oval shaped head, blonde hair.. ...
A. 4 July 2009: Different looks look good on different people. And different people like different things. I think I'm a clean cut kind of gal... I like Brad Pitt and David Beckham nice and clean cut rather than all scruffy. And Uncle Jesse turned fantastically hot ... (read in full...)
How should I maintain my small figure for the duration of pregnancy?
Q. So, i'm about 10 weeks pregnant and my husband has a thing for thinner models like kate moss and the like. He once told me he married me largely because he knew I'd always be one to stay naturally slender, because of how naturally skinny...
A. 4 July 2009: You need to go talk to a doctor about the reality of pregnancy. I have trouble believing this post, but in the case that you and your husband are both truly serious - you realize that you want a HEALTHY baby, not a SKINNY baby. Most babies come out ... (read in full...)
Bus girl blues...
Q. Here's one where I'd appreciate female advice. Been chatting to a woman on the bus-50 minute journey -seemed to go well so I asked her out for a drink or two after work sometime. she said definitely yes but not til the next week. because I work a...
A. 4 July 2009: Next time, you should ask her for her number (if you haven't already) and that way you won't have to wait until you see her on the bus to chat and set up dates!!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
If a guy loses erection during sex, is it the woman's fault?
Q. Guys and ladies please I need your pespective! My ex bragged that it was my fault he lost his erections while we had sex. Lets keep in mind that all this time he teased me by saying that I am a saint to others and a horny bit*ch in bed. Guys, can a ...
A. 3 July 2009: Perhaps this is just because I'm a lady, but I don't think I know a single guy who would accuse a HORNY WOMAN of being the cause of his un-erection!!! This just makes no sense to me!! Maybe if he accused you of being awful in bed, or totally ... (read in full...)
I've had 4 sexual partners, is that a lot for a woman my age?
Q. I'm 23 and have had 4 sexual partners. Is that a lot for a woman my age? My last ex told me during our break up that guys will think I'm really slutty now that I've been with 4 different men, but he might've been trying to make me feel bad. ...
A. 3 July 2009: Don't let him get to you!!! All of my girlfriends, seriously, ALL of them (at least that are here in the room with me... 4 of them) have been more with 4 before their 23rd birthday. They all say that all of their friends have been with more than 4. ... (read in full...)
Found out he's going on holiday without me!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend may be going on holiday. He did not ak me or anything. Our relationship has been struggling. I called him pretending not to know and told him I was planning on going to the same place. He did not say anything. ...
A. 3 July 2009: Your boyfriend neglects to tell you that he's going on a vacation?? And you have a child together? How serious is this relationship, how long has it been going on? I am assuming that since you have a child together, it's pretty serious - so how ... (read in full...)
This is really creepy - my boyfriend and his friends are following me.
Q. Hi-I just want some opinions on a creepy situation-I have this boyfreind I've known for about 4 years,I don't see him very often and I've heard him talking on the phone to other women-baisically,he is definately seeing other people,I've known for ...
A. 2 July 2009: As Satin says, the reasons are completely moot. Why he's doing it is no matter, but it seems like a very scary thing to me. You need to go to the police and find out everything you can about a restraining order. If he is the type of guy who beats ... (read in full...)
Could he not like me because I'm "too good" for him?
Q. Heyyyzz i have one simple question im not trying to sound snotty but could i possibly be too "good" for a guy?? Could he not like me because im pretty or because i wear make up or am " high matinence" if you will...... Just wonderin...
A. 2 July 2009: Lots of guys feel like a girl is out of their league, or get intimidated by a attractive, confident girl. They think "how could a girl like that ever want a guy like me?". And if you're high maintenance, maybe he just doesn't have the energy to keep ... (read in full...)
Family dilemma!!!
Q. My mother died when I was real young and my dad never really got over her but about two years ago he met another woman and they ended up getting married. She has two, a boy my age and a girl a bit younger. You see, me and her son (let's call him M) ...
A. 2 July 2009: You need to stop messing around with your step brother. That's just really going to mess the whole family up. I know you have feelings for him, but you have to realize just how much this will tear the family apart. I don't think the problem is so ... (read in full...)
Can we ever be friends?
Q. I've recently split up with a guy who did me wrong - in a big way. Despite this I genuinely believe he loved me. We've talked and talked and I finally understand why he did what he did although I can't forgive him just yet. However I real...
A. 2 July 2009: In this situation, it's usually best to take a break from each other for awhile. Let it cool off and let the tension simmer down. The wound for you is still fresh and being around him isn't going to help you get over the relationship. Going into a ... (read in full...)
I don't want to give the baby, my boyfriend or my education up, what shall I do?
Q. Hey, I've almost finished with collage, am about to start univsity and have a steady boyfriend. Just on problem, I found out I'm pregnant. My parents where a little upset but are ultimetly okay with it and say they will help out so I can carry on ...
A. 2 July 2009: Hello my darling,
First off, congratulations on the baby! Wonderful news.
Now you didn't give a ton of information in your question... I'm wondering if your boyfriend is demanding that you give up school or is trying to make things easier fo... (read in full...)
How do I go about this crush on my best friend's Bf?
Q. Hi, I have been dying to tell someone about this.... I have a huge crush on one of my best friend's boyfriends. He is funny, caring and good looking. He is also a very touchy feely person and when she is not around gives me hugs and snuggle...
A. 2 July 2009: Look, it's normal to have crushes. Even on your best friend's fella. BUT, the bottom line is what do you care more about? This guy, or your best friend? What you are doing is hurting her even though she has no idea... if she found out or saw one of ... (read in full...)
The break up is fresh, how can I deal with the pain and when can I talk to her again?
Q. I loved her, we had so much in common.. I thought relationships that work are based on a commonality and similarities.. I guess not.. To be honest she was first 'real' love, someone i thought i could be with always. I would love to have ...
A. 1 July 2009: YAY! You posted this as a question, good job.
I like the advice you've gotten. See, everyone has been there and knows what is optimal... great advice given, I recommend you take it!! ... (read in full...)
How can I make our night alone romantic?
Q. Me and My boyfriend have the house to ourselves for a night. I want to make to romantic but im not really sure what I could do to 'set the mood'. any ideas? any music suggestions would be great to x...
A. 1 July 2009: Good lighting - replace your lightbulbs with soft lighting, maybe some red bulbs here or there. Scented candles (stick with one scent. Too many scents just creates a crazy conglomerate of smells! Vanilla or cinnamon is sexy...), get a bottle of ... (read in full...)
What the most embarrasing makeout or intercourse session you have ever had?
Q. Have you ever done something embarrasing during a makeout session or during intercourse (sex)? ok this is suppose to be fun so share with other people the most embarrasing or funny thing that happened ill go first and feel free to add your stories. ...
A. 1 July 2009: This question is a totally fun question! I'm with Troubled, this is kind of a nice break from the usual stuff we get. Sometimes I get sick of the same ol', same ol'. After answering more than 2000 questions, I'm happy to see something new! You can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me. Will he ever change?
Q. My boyfriend is always broke! We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. I'm 24, he's 25, but he's been financially dependent on me and it's draining my savings. He's a g...
A. 1 July 2009: Hi my dear,
Wow... what a crappy situation! Here's my thoughts:
You both are totally dependent on each other. Him, financially, you emotionally. This is not a healthy relationship. I really encourage you to leave this behind. This is really h... (read in full...)
I cry hysterically on rollercosters, how do I get over this fear?
Q. Im going to bush gardens tomorrow with my family and I don't want to be a party pooper ... so I kinda wanna ride the roller coasters too but I get so scared and I cry hysterically the last time I was on one I was 11 ... and im 17 but still any ...
A. 1 July 2009: It's been a long time since you were last on one. You've grown up so much since then, matured and things definitely won't seem as scary... especially if you don't talk yourself into getting scared! I'd say, start with the smallest one you can find ... (read in full...)
I'm horrible to guys when I'm with them. Help me
Q. I have major issues with relationships , I'm 19 and I've never been in a serious relationship I always end up kissing boys once and that's it , I rarely ever end up being with them more then once. I'm not a slut or anything I have never even had sex ...
A. 1 July 2009: Hmmm...
First off, have you considered seeing a therapist? I'm not saying you're crazy - by any means - but, if this feels like compulsive behavior, perhaps it stems from something deeper.
Secondly, how to change your behavior... I pe... (read in full...)
My wife watches a lot of porn. Is this normal?
Q. I just found out my wife has a tonne of porn on her laptop. We have an ok sex life having sex about 2 times a week but many times she turns me down. I noticed she seldom goes to bed the same time I do and comes to bed really late like 2am. Her ex...
A. 29 June 2009: Speaking as a woman, YES this is normal.
But I mean normal as in, lots of women enjoy porn. By themselves. Just like guys. I know I can get down on some porn solo. But, it seems like (as in many cases with men), that she is perhaps beginnin... (read in full...)
My teenage son enjoys child pornography. Please help!
Q. Well, this is embarrasing too say as a mother for starts. But I will anyways.. It all started with me finding my son who is 14 years old, with my finding porn on his computer, in his drawers. Stuff like that.. sounds normal so far, right? B...
A. 29 June 2009: You absolutely need to hustle this child to a psychologist and QUICK. As has been pointed out, do you realize your child is participating in extremely illegal activity and could be marked as a sex offender, a label that will stay with him for his ... (read in full...)
What was your favorite age and why?
Q. hey guys and girls can you answer this plz , tell me which period of age was your favorite and why !!!!!...
A. 28 June 2009: Good question...
I'm 23. So, things will probably be changing - at least, the answer to this question will be! But if I had to pick a favorite time right NOW, I would pick 17-19. I was young, hot, had a car, a kickass job, lived at home (a.k.a. ... (read in full...)
Why would a man be prepared to risk his marriage and family for this?
Q. I’m looking for general views and comments on my situation please. I recently had a one night stand with a married man. He has contacted me again and asked if I would consider a threesome. I assumed that he meant with him and his wife but he said ...
A. 27 June 2009: My guess is that he's begged his wife to do this, and she continually refuses, so he's looking to you to fulfill this fantasy for him. I encourage you NOT to go for this, getting involved with a threesome is messy, let alone a marriage. So good for ... (read in full...)
How to spoil your man?
Q. Hi all, this time i am seeking suggestions more than answers, actually i want to learn some approaches to spoil my man, he is a really hard worker, and he deserves to be appreciated for that.. what am asking for here, is not a one romantic night to...
A. 26 June 2009: Massages ALWAYS make my fella feel spoiled!! And usually I can convince him to return the favor! :o)... (read in full...)
Pregnant girlfriend and the sex has stopped!
Q. Why Doesnt my girl wanna have sex with me anymore? We use to have sex constantly, but until she got pregnant and cut down on the sex extra hard. She is now 6 month or so and i have seen nothing....
A. 26 June 2009: Hey my darling,
Pregnancy is a peculiar stage of life. Your hormones are all over the place and your sex drive fluctuates. Some women get super horny, some women become super reserved... it happens. Your body is changing, you're feeling bizarre.... (read in full...)
How does the guy feel when he touches a girl's breasts?
Q. When a guy is touching a girl's breasts, it feels good for the girl, but what's the guy how does the guy feel?...
A. 24 June 2009: They guy is stoked to be touching some boobies! Think about it, boobs to guys are these foreign, jiggly, squishy, cuddly round things that are soft and awesome. So they are fascinated!! They can't help themselves! And so, they feel mystified, ... (read in full...)
What are your views on premarital sex?
Q. hi there, what do you think with that I think girls and boys should have sex after getting married(for the first time)no sex before marriage what is your opinion?...
A. 24 June 2009: I really don't think I can say it any better than HoneyPie. She pretty much said what I would have said, only much better. So I second HoneyPie, hear hear!! ... (read in full...)
What should I give my teacher as a "thank you" present?
Q. please help me! i only have a few hours to figure this out: i want to get my teacher a thank you present, because i never was at all interested in the subject he teaches before i had him; he made it fun for me. he's a great teacher and has ...
A. 24 June 2009: I have heard from teacher after teacher that the most meaningful gift you can give them is a letter telling them how much they helped you grow as a student. That they really influenced your learning and how great of a teacher he is. Knowing that he ... (read in full...)
Going camping and going to get some?
Q. heyyy please help! well im a virgin and ive never really had a proper boyfriend, and tonight i am going camping with my friends and this guy adam who is a year older then me but not a virgin. we know each other a bit, but mostly though facebook...
A. 24 June 2009: Ugh, I would HATE to lose my virginity in the woods!!! You can't even go to a nice, clean bathroom afterwards to clean up and think about everything that just happened!!
Let me tell you this, sweetness. Now some chick have a great first time. It... (read in full...)
I've found a lump. Can girls get breast cancer at 16?
Q. Hi! I found this lump inside my right breast and its realy sore. i just got a new bra the other day, so i guess you could say it's the bra, making me sore, but only one breast is sore and i can feel this lump inside my breast. when i touch it,...
A. 24 June 2009: It's possible to get breast cancer, but it's not terribly likely. I had a lump in my breast at 15... it was so scary! I went to the doctor and they ended up doing surgery and removing it. They said it was totally benign, but that they would remove ... (read in full...)
Why am I jealous of my sister?
Q. I have recently felt concerned about my relationship with my sister. She is younger than me (2 years), a doctor, and engaged to a good looking man who adores her. I am a real estage agent, really enjoy my job etc, and very happy with my life in ...
A. 24 June 2009: Hi there,
I completely agree with Kelly, you just need to grit your teeth and make that phone call. You won't get anywhere just sitting around thinking about it! You need to take initiation and call her, make a play date for lunch or shopping... (read in full...)
I have no serious illness, so why is my hair falling out?
Q. This is kind of a health question. I recently cut my hair, because I had some of it falling out. I contemplated cutting my hair for some weeks. I know that it will grow back, but my question is this, is there any particular reason why my hair would ...
A. 23 June 2009: Oh Eyes, I SO miss it!!! I have clovers all over my lawn right now, but no gorgeous, wise blond as the face of Irish49! Sadness...
In regards to your question, there are tons of reasons your hair could be falling out. Now some hair loss is norma... (read in full...)
Is it wrong/silly to end a great long term relationship to be alone?
Q. I am 28 years old and I have never been single. I adore my boyfriend but I often feel like I am missing out on the time alone to learn about myself that everyone else but me seems to have had. I can never seem to make decisions about anything, I am ...
A. 23 June 2009: I think that if this is how you feel, you should go be by yourself and learn how to be independent and make decisions by your own. You don't want to settle into a relationship for the rest of your life and then find yourself having the urge for ... (read in full...)
Opinions on age differences
Q. Is it okay for a 18 year old guy to date a 31 year old woman?...
A. 23 June 2009: That makes you a Puma (after your 40's, you'd be a Cougar), and that is extremely hip and Cosmo approved right now. Young guys: they can go for hours, take direction well and are EXTREMELY grateful!... (read in full...)
She's stolen my thunder! How do I tell her to stop going on about it?
Q. Please please help, this is a bit of a long story. I haev a friend, z, and we're very close. last year she moved away to egypt. we have kept in touch. well, for a very long time, ever since i was really little, i have always been into graphic ...
A. 23 June 2009: She probably keeps bringing it up, because she assumes that you would be someone who she could talk about Photoshop with! She probably thinks you have all sorts of insight and conversation around Photoshop, since it's an interest you both share.
... (read in full...)
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