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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What is PMS?
Q. Does anyone know what PMS stands for ? I hear a lot of people saying it but i don't know what it means....
A. 30 September 2009: Pour Me Schnapps...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_syndrome
The essential thing to know: if a lady is complaining to you about something, anything, or if she's having a bad day and you can tell... do not - repeat DO NOT - mention th... (read in full...)
New and improved boyfriend or more limbo land?
Q. Okay, so I told my boyfriend of 5 years that I wanted a break. He just didn't seem that into me. We are both 48 and he just wasn't popping the question. He kept saying when the house is finished that he is building, he'll figure the rest of the ...
A. 30 September 2009: Well, girlfriend, you've got to give the guy credit. You gave him a reality check and he responded and QUICK. It could be that he was just getting into a lazy zone, started taking you for granted and forgetting why you were so phenomenal and the ... (read in full...)
Has anyone tried Eharmony and does it work?
Q. Just wondering? Has anyone tried Eharmony? Does it work? Or are they just a bunch of guys looking to get laid like plentyoffish?...
A. 30 September 2009: My cousin met a fantastic man and is marrying him in a few months. They're in their 30's, and a total testament to dating sites. It's a great way to meet people, but you do have to be careful... there are sketchy guys everywhere (but no more online ... (read in full...)
I regret the name I gave my baby! What can I do now?
Q. Dear all, I have a problem that is in my head! I know many of you wouldnt think its such a big issue but i just delivered my baby girl on july 14th and called her a name i really liked at the time.. and we agreed on... on the 6th day he went to r...
A. 30 September 2009: Okay, it's killing me. What is this name? Is it like "Precious Angel Butt", or is it something that normal people carry around for their lifetimes? It can't be that bad!
Listen, I'm a girl and my name is Michael. My parents got some flack fo... (read in full...)
How do I make a girl say "wow he's good" after sex?
Q. How do i make perfect sex? I mean as in, How do i start and end to make 'a lady say wow! he's good?...
A. 29 September 2009: Be attentive to HER. A girl will remember if you were the guy who wasn't totally absorbed in himself and off far away in another world. What my fella does that is the best ever, is sometime he stars off by giving me a massage with massage oil (I ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm pregnant again?
Q. Im pregnant for the second time and how do i tel my parents,my first baby is three years and my parents are pastors and wel knwn people they wil b ashamed of me wat must i do...
A. 29 September 2009: You're a grown woman. It's your body, your baby, your life. Don't worry about your parents, all they have to do is deal with it. But this is your family now, your child, and baby on the way... and I'm sure you're not ashamed of them! So be proud of ... (read in full...)
Are all the men on the internet cheaters?
Q. I met a French man who lives in Rochester NY, in a dating website. He is a CEO and chairman one of big company is NY. He told me that he separated with his wife 5 years and had an unhappy marriage and already sent divorce dox to the court just ...
A. 27 September 2009: You did the right thing. Your heart was in the right place. That man had already screwed up his life and would have kept being horrible and cheating on his wife. You saved her from further humiliation and deception - she deserved to know what her ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about a friend's sister
Q. Ok, I'm in a little predicament. There's a kid i'm friends with on facebook. He goes to my school, and he's in our little group of friends. Well I don't talk to him much cuz ever since elementary we've fought constantly, so it's awkward around him ...
A. 27 September 2009: I would definitely mention it to her brother, or even her family (if you know them). You've got a good head on your shoulders, missy, and who knows? What you do could say this girls life. She's crying out for help and attention, and perhaps no one ... (read in full...)
I forgot to tell him about my vow of abstinance!
Q. Im a too in love with my boyrfiend and Im 16 and have taken a vow of abstinance that I would love to uphold. The problem is I kinda forgot to tell him that 6 months ago and now Im about 80% sure he thinks he's gonna get to sleep with me and Im about ...
A. 27 September 2009: If you want to take your vows seriously, and uphold them, tell him now so that the moment doesn't come where he's making his move and thinking it's going to happen and you succumb and say yes. It's not wise to wait until the last minute, when he ... (read in full...)
Can dry humping cause vaginal damage?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dry humping a lot lately and my vagina, specifically my clitoris, has been sore. Can I damage my vagina from doing this?...
A. 26 September 2009: Doubtful that you can do serious damage, but you're being vague as to what's going on here. You're probably just being a little too rough and need to lighten up on the pressure. Listen to your body and relax the deep grinding. That's what's probably ... (read in full...)
My friends smoke weed. How do I tell them I don't toke anymore?
Q. Please i need help, im going to a gig soon with some mates ill be 16 then and basically, my mates are taking weed with them and I dont know what to do. I used to smoke it with me old mates and i really dont wanna get back into it. It messed me up ...
A. 26 September 2009: Exactly as "Echo" says, if you get offered some in a circle, pass it on. If someone asks, just be like, "yeah, I haven't done that in awhile, I'm not into it anymore" or like, "I'm taking a hiatus". If your friends are cool, chill, nice, they'll let ... (read in full...)
Will a puppy heal my loneliness?
Q. Hey.. umm I have a question. Im 18 years old, i just started college and im about to go away to school next semester. i met this boy in school, and we got together. i fell in love with him and as my first love, i lost my virginity to him. when i was ...
A. 23 September 2009: Hail Cesar, indeed! I love him. And so, poster, if you decide to get a dog, watch plenty of Dog Whisperer first! Just throwing that out there. It is not healthy for a pup to come into a person's life as a "feel better" thing to lean on. It needs a ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about someone bringing a gun to school? I don't want anyone to get hurt!
Q. My friend might get into a fight tomarrrow.I don't want anything bad to happen. I am worried because the guy my friend might fight might bring a gun to school and I don't want anyone to get hurt....
A. 23 September 2009: Good job coming somewhere for advice. Please go to a teacher, a parent or call the police. You're a very smart young man for seeing the consequences that could arise from this. Not only could your friend get hurt, or the other person in the fight, ... (read in full...)
She shot me down yet went out with some other guy 4 days later! Why would she destroy 13 years of friendship in this way?
Q. Well a few days ago i asked a girl that i had liked since before i really had interest in girls out to go see a movie. She shot me down but at the time she almost seemingly sayed yes and basically said that she wasn't over her ex yet and i thought ...
A. 22 September 2009: I'm really sorry that you got shot down and I'm really sorry that she's not interested in you. She was trying to let you down easy, rather than saying, "hey - I don't like you. Sorry.", she opted for, "it's not you, it's me." (essentially).
It's ... (read in full...)
Is this just some weird 9th grade girl way of flirting?
Q. So, i been hanging out with this girl for a couple weeks, shes really cute and alot of fun, and while i dont mean to gloat, girls do tend to grab at me sometimes, usually my hair (because i got lucky, dark brown hair with a light redhead tint) but ...
A. 22 September 2009: Sounds like she's into you - and good thing that she doesn't give off any "slut vibes". You don't want that kind of girl. Sounds like she's just nervously, 9th grade flirting with you...... (read in full...)
Why does he think the piercing is trashy?
Q. There was a boy i realy liked and when i told hime i had my bellybutton pierced he said *wow thats trashy!" then he left! Why do you think he thinks its trashy?...
A. 21 September 2009: What a lame guy! Don't let him make you feel better or judge you based on a piercing. I have my belly button pierced and like you, am far from trashy. So don't let it get to you, just write him off as conservative (not a bad thing) and judgmental (a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with someone else more than a week after our break up. We're back together, is she more likely to cheat?
Q. My girlfriend and i were dating for a year and i broke up with her on our one year anniversary due to constant fighting and other bullshit. (nothing big though) after i realized that i shouldnt have been so quick to let her go, i quickly asked her ...
A. 20 September 2009: I personally think that she probably ran off to console herself after an explosive break up on your anniversary. Let's face it, that's a pretty rotten situation and it doesn't surprise me that she would run into another guys bed for comfort. Is it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks he has me in the palm of his hand and I will never leave him
Q. I'm at a point where i'm so confused. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and though the following things I list seem like it would be easier to break up, that is just not what I want at this time. My boyfriend is becomming hard to deal wit...
A. 20 September 2009: You say that breaking up would be "easier", but that's not what you want to do... listen, girlfriend, this guy doesn't treat you well. Breaking up isn't "easy", it's giving you back your dignity and doing the right thing for YOU. He calls you ... (read in full...)
We want to have a baby, I'm almost 17!
Q. Well I'm very confused. im extremely happy with my boyfriend, we've basically been together for a year and ive never in my life felt for anyone the way i feel about him, i understand this sounds typical for a 16 (almost 17) year old girl to say, but ...
A. 19 September 2009: Congratulations on finding the perfect fella! Isn't it awesome to find the guy who you're going to love for the rest of time? So appreciate it!! Once a baby comes along, you no longer get to enjoy being together, going on dates, having fun and being ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin getting married with questions! Like, why do people call sex "lovemaking"?
Q. Hi, I just had a few questions about sex. I'm getting married in a couple weeks... and I kinda feel embarrassed admitting this but... I'm a virgin. :/ I would just like some tips and stuff.. I wouldn't dare ask my mom these questions because ...
A. 18 September 2009: 1) A woman can definitely be bad at sex, if she's just lying there and the fella is wondering if she's a) day dreaming, b) miserable or c) dead. Really, all it takes to be good at sex is enthusiasm! Here's a question that was asked a little while ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin getting married with questions! Like, why do people call sex "lovemaking"?
Q. Hi, I just had a few questions about sex. I'm getting married in a couple weeks... and I kinda feel embarrassed admitting this but... I'm a virgin. :/ I would just like some tips and stuff.. I wouldn't dare ask my mom these questions because ...
A. 18 September 2009: Hi, girlfriend! Congratulations on getting married!
1) Now I'm all for a little porn here and there, but not as an example of what sex means in the real world!! It's "fun", but certainly not an illustration of how sex looks, especially between ... (read in full...)
How can I put myself first after breaking up?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up after a ten month relationship. He doesn't live in my hometown anymore, so that makes it a little easier. I am trying hard to concentrate on my school work this year, because I am repeating my freshman year again. But ...
A. 18 September 2009: How to put yourself first... good question.
First, I'll say that a lot of people have been there. Most everybody. I know I have. The feeling of not knowing if you'll ever get over it and the mind bogged down with memories that you can't seem to ... (read in full...)
Why are girls aged 15-17 still classed as children?
Q. Just wondering, because people seem to be under the impression that anyone under the age of 18 is naive, easily-influenced within relationships and does not know their own mind? I would like to argue that in many cases, this is not true. If you take ...
A. 18 September 2009: I love the idea of DC book club, count me IN!!!!... (read in full...)
Don't you think he should show me if he wants to be with me?
Q. Hello, I' m Artemis, and I'm gay. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend a while ago and I can't move on, I'm desperate because this whole situation is affecting every single aspect of my life, 3 weeks ago I saw him, we said hi and all that, we ...
A. 18 September 2009: Well, it's hard to read what's going on here since things are so mixed. If he's constantly reminding you that you're not dating and yet showing you all this affection, it seems that he's setting you up as a booty call, of sorts. A NSA situation. ... (read in full...)
Why are girls aged 15-17 still classed as children?
Q. Just wondering, because people seem to be under the impression that anyone under the age of 18 is naive, easily-influenced within relationships and does not know their own mind? I would like to argue that in many cases, this is not true. If you take ...
A. 18 September 2009: Read this question when you're like, 25. Even 21. And then you'll see a big difference between who you are presently and who you were then. You may be mature - I know I was at 16 & 17, and I made a lot of smart choices. But, the way I think now and ... (read in full...)
Should I say "I like you but I won't sleep with you"?
Q. If I had sex with this guy would he think I was easy? I have known this guy for about three years, we have never dated but french kissed on a couple of occasions, we know each other through mutual friends. We have texted each other but he nev...
A. 18 September 2009: Man, is this guy tacky!! I agree with all the adjectives used here... "aggressive, disrespectful, forward, assumptive, inconsiderate, HE HAS SOME NERVE".
I'd just like to add self-centered, offensive, tactless and just plain icky.
I would... (read in full...)
I don't want an abortion but I don't want to risk my sisters health!
Q. I'm 19 years old and 6 weeks pregnant. My uni course starts in 2 weeks where i will be studying Law. So my boyfriend of a year has me all focused on having an abortion, when it will break my heart to do so, and even worse my family has a history of ...
A. 15 September 2009: You're the one who has to live with your choice. You say you couldn't live with yourself in either situation, but you know what? Your sisters, boyfriend, family, they'll get over it one way or the other - but YOU, you live with your choice forever. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have this gift?
Q. Dearr cupid.. ok basicalyy, im 14 years old and i am, ovcourse, a girl (: i thought my life was a averagee life. As any 14 year old girl lead.. I used to have a really bad childhood. i got bullyed, and i lived in a really rough neighbourhood, so ...
A. 15 September 2009: Well, I'd like to think that I have a similar "gift", though I would never call it a gift. I'm an optimist, so I naturally see the good in everyone. Some people are pessimists, and they naturally see the bad. Now that's a very black and white view ... (read in full...)
Did I completely kill our friendship?
Q. Hi Well...theres this guy i've been crushing on for MONTHS. He said from the beginning that he cant see anything happening. But I continued to like him. Then it turned sour today. This is an extract from our MSN conversation: [HIM] said: I ...
A. 15 September 2009: Well, you might not have completely killed it - that is if you play your cards right. Because let's face it, it takes two to tango and he was no saint either in this situation. So don't take all the blame here, sweetness. Sounds like you were ... (read in full...)
Smiles, eye contact -- does she like me?
Q. Hi, I wanted to know if this girl likes me. We're in the same classes and its only been the third day of the course. She doesn't talk to me, but when she looks at me she always smiles, and I usually catch her looking at me out of the corner of my ...
A. 15 September 2009: She very well might. She may just be friendly and curious about you... which doesn't necessarily mean that she likes you - YET. She seems to want to get to know you, so give her that opportunity and speak up! Shyness won't get you very far, so go ... (read in full...)
How do I fullfill his sexual needs without feeling uncomfortable? Try it again or don't?
Q. My husband and I have brought other people into the bedroom before. Only 2 times have we had this experience. I was uncomfortable with it but Im trying to please my husband who enjoys it. We have rules, no kissing on the mouth and no sexual ...
A. 14 September 2009: Hey there, sweetness. I agree with Samantha, it really sounds like to me that you don't enjoy this and you don't want to repeat the experience. It sounds like you just don't want to bum out your husband, and that's not a good enough reason to ... (read in full...)
Was he that freaked out that he said this?
Q. so i just turned 16 and my bf is 18. we have an amazing relationship tho it is still in the bieginning stages. only about 3.5 months into it. we are together everyday and are extremely affectionate. the problem is, he is a senior and will be ...
A. 14 September 2009: His statement seems like an appropriate reaction. A baby is a huge deal and really would have stopped your teenage lives. I think he was just processing the reality of what might have been. I don't think he meant anything bad by it.
As for the ... (read in full...)
He never says he loves me or does romantic things
Q. I am so discouraged. B/F of 4 years rarely makes me feel special or does romantic things. I've known him for a number of years before we got involved, so I know he's capable of doing sweet things for the other women he's been involved with, but for ...
A. 14 September 2009: Well, here's how you find out if you're wasting your time. Speak up and tell him that you really miss having a boyfriend who shows you and tell you how much he loves you. Tell him that you miss the compliments and that you feel like he no longer ... (read in full...)
How do I get more control in this relationship? Don't tell me to leave him, I love him!
Q. im 15 about to be 16 and my bf is 18 turning 19 in a few months. i really do love him. we have been through hell and back twice together. but even since the beginning of our relationship we have brought out the absolute worst in each other. im a ...
A. 14 September 2009: Man, this guy sounds like a trip. In a relationship, you should bring out the BEST in each other, not the worst. This guy sounds straight toxic. He disrespects you in so many ways, it's ridiculous. His friends smack your ass and call you bitch?? Oh ... (read in full...)
Was this conversation a compliment in disguise?
Q. so i was talking to my step brother and his friends and they were saying what they liked in a girl. some of the things they mentioned were pretty eyes (big with nice makeup), pouty lips and always use chapstick because it makes them soft, don't ...
A. 14 September 2009: Sounds like some superficial guys, to be honest. My GOD, that's a list!! But, I guess teenage guys are like that, so okay. It does sound like a compliment in disguise if you were sitting there and they pretty much described YOU. But, be wary, since ... (read in full...)
Was he just keeping me warm, or does he like me?
Q. had a sleepover at my friend's house (lots of girls + guys sleeping in a big tent in her garden) her twin bro was there im good friends with him but nothing more but i was sleeping next to him + was shivering and he was SO nice like got me loads of ...
A. 13 September 2009: Seems pretty affectionate to me! See how he acts next time you're together... but tread carefully, being with friends brothers (no less, a twin!) can get messy, so if you might be interested in dating him, I'd talk to your friend about how she might ... (read in full...)
Scared my eating disorder will return!
Q. i'm 4 months pregnant with my 2nd baby(planned), me and my fiance are both over the moon. I'm very excited and feel very blessed to be carrying our second child. I love being a mummy to be 10 month old little boy. He's my whole world and I love him...
A. 12 September 2009: Well, if you are this concerned, what I would recommend is nipping things in the bud and start going to a counselor now. Share your fears and while you go through the next year you can have help staying on track and focused on the joy of your ... (read in full...)
Thinking about having sex but very nervous about it
Q. Okay this is really my first time asking for any kinda of help in this situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long while now and we really care about each other. We have alot in common except for the fact that he is not a virgin and i ...
A. 10 September 2009: Hey dol,
What you're feeling and thinking is totally normal and natural. You've been dating for awhile, you really like him and it feels like the natural next step would be to have sex. Well, that's your choice, but it feels like to me that you... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get bored in a relationship?
Q. So me and my girlfriend(ex) went out for about 17 or so months(Year and 1/2)and we live in different states(SF/LA) just recently she broke up with me and it was mutual at the time because I wasn't sure what was going on and how I was feeling. We ...
A. 10 September 2009: Getting bored in a relationship is a perfectly normal and acceptable reason to break up. Let's face it, in a relationship you either break up, or you die together. It's morbid, but it's reality, and getting bored of a relationship just happens - ... (read in full...)
Masturbation-how long is too long?
Q. How much time is too long to spend masturbating? I have only been recently introduced to it and I've found that it's very liberating and I've been trying to see how long I can "hold it in". I recently spent 2 hours trying different things and it f...
A. 10 September 2009: Unless it's distracting you from other things you ought to be doing or physically causing you pain, there's no time limit. Why not spend some quality time with your sexual side, experimenting and doing some new stuff? Doesn't sound harmful to me if ... (read in full...)
I love my LDR, but I dreamt about another guy?
Q. I´m in love with this guy with whom I´m having a long distance relationship for almost three years ago. He´s USAF but we are constantly in contact no matter if he´s deployed, etc. I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH! But, recently I´ve been hanging out with...
A. 10 September 2009: Eh, dreams are just dreams. You know where your heart lies and you know that in real life you're not going to cuddle up and get frisky with Office Guy. Like 'quiet-echo' suggests, it's probably just because Office Guy is around and is giving you a ... (read in full...)
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