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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Any advice on moving in with my boyfriend?
Q. So I'm moving in with my boyfriend of over a year. I'm moving away from home for college..the one he's going to. So we've decided that we're going to be moving in together. He's got a 2 bedroom apartment so it's not like if we have an argument I ...
A. 19 May 2009: Sorry... I gave you the "best advice I can give you" like, three times. So let's just leave it as - it's all good.
Again, good luck, sweetness. You sound like an excellent roomie!... (read in full...)
Any advice on moving in with my boyfriend?
Q. So I'm moving in with my boyfriend of over a year. I'm moving away from home for college..the one he's going to. So we've decided that we're going to be moving in together. He's got a 2 bedroom apartment so it's not like if we have an argument I ...
A. 19 May 2009: Hey lady,
It's good that you have a two bedroom apartment, you can both have your own space.
The best advice I can give you is accept that for the first 6-12 months, it might be a little rough and you might argue a little more than you used to... (read in full...)
How to make your breath not smell bad?
Q. Hey. I was wondering, is there any way other than breath mints, mouthwash, gum, and eating the right way to make you breath not smell bad? The mints I don't always have access to, and I don't have much control over what I eat. I don't have any ...
A. 18 May 2009: Good hygiene is good hygiene. There's really no miracle plan to making your breath smell fresh as a daisy besides brushing your teeth (and your tongue, an often forgotten spot), eating mints or gum and using mouthwash. When you're at the store, get ... (read in full...)
Am I weird because I'm at virgin?
Q. Iv'e just turned sixteen and im still a virgin most of my friends arent. Does this make me weird? help!...
A. 18 May 2009: If you are weird, then I was weirder - I lost mine at 19. Being a virgin just means that you're classy and holding out for someone who deserves it and is worth you. Don't feel bad, don't be ashamed. Most of your buddies in 10 years will say they ... (read in full...)
Relationship starts within two weeks of meeting and now he wants sex?
Q. I met this cute guy in my local gym two weeks ago. We had a little chat, two days later he asked for my number. I gave him and immidiately he told me he liked me and wanted me to be his galfriend. I didnt take him seriously at first because it was ...
A. 18 May 2009: I would definitely be extremely careful around this fella. In fact, considering his track record, I would just leave this one alone. Never married, three kids, already pushing for sex...? He already told you he doesn't take things slow, and he's ... (read in full...)
What's going on with him here?
Q. Ok, so, some background: me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half. I was at his house this evening and for dinner we had burgers and salad [with onions]. Later on in the evening, we were sitting on his bed and, im not sure how it ...
A. 18 May 2009: Well, this is in no way, shape or form YOUR fault. "You taste like a Big Mac"?? That line might work for Ronald McDonald but no other guy is going home with a gal after throwing that out there.
Your boyfriend is a blockhead - at least he was that... (read in full...)
She can give him, the one thing that i'll never be able to.
Q. My husband and I have been together for many years. We're childhood sweethearts and got married a couple of years back. Soon after getting married, we tried to have a baby. After a long time of me not getting pregnant, we took some tests and found ...
A. 17 May 2009: I am very sorry to hear of your medical situation. I can't imagine what you're going through...
But, let's get down to the root of your question. This isn't about him putting a child first. This was about him putting his lust before his commitme... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes on forever... I can't get him to finish! Help!
Q. This is not a handjob qestion by the way, whenever i give my bf a hand job I never seem to get him to - finish - he does seem to like it judging by his sounds and comments but i can give him a 45 mins hand job - im not exadurating - he precums and ...
A. 17 May 2009: Why don't you ask him to masturbate for you? That way he can show you what he likes. Not to mention, it can be totally fun for you to watch and for him to be watched! Maybe give it a try... ... (read in full...)
My trekkie friend...
Q. I am exactly twenty-two years and two weeks old, my best friend is just over twenty-two years and four months old. My best friend is a man we shall call "Quinton". He and I have been in acquaintance with each other for a little over twenty years; we ...
A. 16 May 2009: Oh, Quinton is just completely jealous of all the attention you're giving Spock. Maybe Spock has helped you out here, and is making his feelings more clear about you. I say go for it, try it out - if you and Quinton are so close and have so much in ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I've already screwed up the relationship by being too clingy.
Q. Me and this girl I really like got back together on Monday the 4th and the same day she found out a good friend got killed in a car accident. Everything was fine and I took off work and went up there with her and we were okay till Saturday. After ...
A. 15 May 2009: I really would give her some space and some time. Losing a friend is so hard, and she is definitely grieving. Let her do that however she needs to do that. Gina was right on, I think sending some flowers to let her know that you're thinking about ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like certain people get all the sex in the world?
Q. Well I am getting older and I am still a virgin. I am about to go to college, so hopefully I will meet someone at some point in the next few years. I was just wondering why it seems like there are a few people who get a TON of sex, and others ...
A. 15 May 2009: You're thinking about this all wrong. Maybe you're classier than having a bunch of empty sex with thousands of girls. Trust me, between you and your brother, I would MUCH MUCH MUCH rather be with you than your brother, the man slut. He's in his mid ... (read in full...)
Quiet and boring until I drink.
Q. When i'm sober i am really boring and find it hard to start conversations. At work i'm the quiet one with hardly anything to say. Talking to a girl i just get tongue tied and embarrased. When i have had a drink i'm the life and soul of the part...
A. 15 May 2009: You need to realize that it's not that alcohol makes you magically transform into this great, charismatic guy. You're ALREADY that guy. You just get too shy to show off the real you without getting a drink in you to loosen up.
Exper... (read in full...)
I'm horny but scared
Q. I have only slept with one guy (many times) who used me for sex and I think thats why I view sex the way I do now. I have plenty of opportunities but I know I will end up getting attached and I also don't want guys calling me a hoe or liking me any ...
A. 14 May 2009: You will feel a lot better about yourself if you hold out for someone who deserves you!! Besides, they say that the best sex is with someone who cares about you and who you care about.
Keep masturbating (it'll keep the edge off), and keep hol... (read in full...)
Who should I invite to his birthday celebration? My family or his friends?
Q. I'm planning my bf birthday celebration. I want it to be a surprise! The trip allows 12 guests.. At first I wanted us alone but hey I'm paying for a group so might as well take advantage of it. A 2 hr. trip. Dinner and cruise. His family and ...
A. 14 May 2009: Hi my darling,
What a great girlfriend you are! You're putting on quite a party!
HOWEVER, I think that you SHOULD invite his friends. This is his birthday and his big day after all... if you want him to have fun, don't give him the pressure of ... (read in full...)
She showed up late, made me pay, then texted another guy during a date
Q. Heya, this is going to sound rather stupid but whatever. Not too long ago, I went to the cinemas with a girl who comes into the shop I work at. I was very optimistic about how the evening would go, but I knew it was going to go bad when she sho...
A. 13 May 2009: I'll tell you what's going on here... you're dating a girl that is so not worth the effort!!! She doesn't sound like a very nice girl and certainly not one that sounds like she's worth dating. I would keep looking and find a girl who can give you ... (read in full...)
Daughter will not speak to me because I dojn't like her boyfriend
Q. My daughter will not speak to me because, I dislike her boyfriend. My daughter has two children with him. Who I do not see. He has alienated her from me. Also he does not work she supports him and his family. I've tried to e-mail. Nothing works. I ...
A. 12 May 2009: There may be every reason in the universe not to like him, and he DOES sound like a jerk - but if you want to get a relationship with your daughter again, you're going to need to grit your teeth and make peace with her husband. Even if that just ... (read in full...)
Daughter will not speak to me because I dojn't like her boyfriend
Q. My daughter will not speak to me because, I dislike her boyfriend. My daughter has two children with him. Who I do not see. He has alienated her from me. Also he does not work she supports him and his family. I've tried to e-mail. Nothing works. I ...
A. 12 May 2009: Hi there,
I agree with the others - what it comes down to is to KEEP TRYING. Even if it's little things, like continuing to send letter to the kids and sending her a letter outlining the fact that you miss her and wish you could see her and make... (read in full...)
I think he called me fat.am I overreacting?
Q. Sorry that this is kinda long, but I think the back story is relevant... So I've been dating this guy for about seven months and 99.9% of the time he is really sweet and really good to me. But there are these little things. I'm 5'7" 148 lbs. No...
A. 3 May 2009: I'm not a guy, but I can tell you this - my guy wouldn't say something like that to me if he knew what was good for him!! And I'm usually not a threatening kind of gal! Your boyfriend suffers from serious insensitivity. The only thing that I would ... (read in full...)
He gets frustrated waiting for me to orgasm.
Q. When my boyfriend and I have sex he get frustrated because, he says he holds himself back just to try to make me comm , but he says i take too long and that i wasn't like that!... He is my first one and i dont know much about sex ... the point is i ...
A. 2 May 2009: As Gina says: FOREPLAY!! It will be your best friend in this situation. Use foreplay to get you there, or at least close to there - then when you start to have actual intercourse, you'll finish sooner! Or, if you finish first and he's still up for ... (read in full...)
We broke up... why did she come to me for help? Is this karma at work?
Q. okay this is my dilemma. Me and my girlfriend of 3 months have recently broke up. The reason why we broke up is because she had feelings for another guy and he has feelings for her. I was devastated and heart broken. We didnt talk anymore for a ...
A. 30 April 2009: Karma at work isn't what I'd call it, no. You she was with for a long time, she has a connection to you - much deeper than any connection she's made with this new guy. Clearly her brain has cleared since she has had such a rough thing happen in her ... (read in full...)
Do you have any suggestions on men's colognes that don't smell too strong?
Q. Hey. My problem is not too pressing, but nevertheless it is important to me. My clothes often smell bad when they come out of the dryer. And even if they didn't, I would still want to smell good, so do you have any suggestions on men's colognes that ...
A. 30 April 2009: You need to find a good laundry detergent and remember fabric softener! Get the scented kind! It helps!
As for cologne, I love Very Sexy for Men at Victoria's Secret. My fella wears it and mmmmm.... I love it. ... (read in full...)
My ex is all over me but then says she just wants to be friends... and then not anything!
Q. About 3 weeks after my breakup my ex called me and came over and was crying and said she missed me and couldnt eat or sleep. So we went back out and 3 days later after it seeming we were back in deep love, she breaks it off cause she doesnt want the ...
A. 29 April 2009: Man, this girl has really got you!!
I'm so sorry, sweetness, but it just seems like she is playing some serious mind games with you. Obviously she is really enjoying the attention you're giving her and she's jealous of this other girl. When you... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me but asked another girl to prom!
Q. I need some opinions...... I'm at high school and this year I have my ball/prom... I've been friends with this guy for a long time and we're really good friends but this year we have no classes together and he has his own friends and i have m...
A. 29 April 2009: It seems like he probably thought you weren't interested and asked someone else. If you knew he liked you, why didn't you turn on that flirty charm and give him a hint that you liked him too? He probably misread you and just assumed that you weren't ... (read in full...)
Views on sex based abortion
Q. This is a question for those who are pro abortion or against it. I know of a person who has been pregnant 3 times and each time she found out she was having a boy and decided to have an abortion because she wanted a girl. Do you think this is ...
A. 29 April 2009: Oooh, girlfriend, aren't you just stirring up trouble at Dear Cupid? You're going to get a lot of responses on this one!!
Firstly, I'll just let you know straight away - I am adamantly pro-choice. Now, onto your question. Do I think what she did ... (read in full...)
Her ex is suddenly back on the scene and in my house. I'm not happy.
Q. My wife and I are happily married. Going to be 9 years this summer. Everything is great. We love each other, love our wonderful children, and are each others best friends. My wife never dated a real lot before we met, but she did date this one gu...
A. 27 April 2009: Personally, I think that you're overreacting. The comments you'll get back, I predict will be all over the map. But, it's because all of us have different levels of trust and different histories. My fella and I have a great, trusting relationship so ... (read in full...)
I've been out of the game for a while. Is she into me? What to do next
Q. Alright. Just a little background. I go to this gym frequently for the past year and a half. There is this pretty girl that works there, and I have had a huge crush on her since I saw her awhile back. Well, I finally decided to at least send her a...
A. 27 April 2009: Things are definitely going well!! And you already got the trickiest part over with - making contact. Keep things light and flirty for awhile, do a little back and forth messaging. You are moving in the right direction!!! You'll feel the vibes from ... (read in full...)
Please help me save my marriage and show my wife I love her!
Q. I need some advice...I have been married for 9 years and have 2 kids. I love my family, but recently my wife and I have not been communicating well and I admit that I have not done what it takes on an emotional and loving (I am not talking about ...
A. 27 April 2009: It will only feel fake to her if it feels fake to you. If you are earnestly trying to earn back her love with compliments, flowers, dates, and attention, it will make a difference. The most important thing is not about how much money you spend (you ... (read in full...)
My married girlfriend (my friend's wife!) says one of their children could be mine!
Q. i m 20yrs. i m in physical relation wid a married woman who has three chidren. hers husband is very good pal of mine. she says that the second child is mine. i had used the contraceptive that time during sex with her, what should i do now....
A. 27 April 2009: PATERNITY TEST!
If she is just messing with you, she is really trying to create some serious drama here. Your friend is going to be PISSED, so I would watch out for him. You absolutely need to cut this relationship out of your life. If you are ... (read in full...)
Getting even to match up on sex partners
Q. Hi all, I know I might get bashed for this, but I still want to know how you all cope with the following scenario: Let's say you have met somebody whom you really love and loves you in return, but he/she has had more sex partners than you. Have...
A. 27 April 2009: Have I thought about it? Sure I have. Would I ever do it? Never in a billion years. I value our relationship way too much to cheat for empty sexual memories and to destroy the trust and security of our relationship.
While it's hard to be with som... (read in full...)
Pregnant, keeping the baby, and want to stay in school
Q. I'm 17 and pregnant (due to failure of the pill) and i've decided to keep the baby. However, I really REALLY want to continue with my education, i'm predicted 3 A's and a B this year at AS level and so I really want to do my A2's. Apparently at my ...
A. 27 April 2009: Wow, girlfriend. You are one tough, smart cookie!! Good for you and congratulations on the little one on the way.
YES, you can absolutely finish school. It will be hard work, very hard, but with your attitude and a will to succeed and the extr... (read in full...)
How can I tell my family that I want to have sex?
Q. i am 14 years old. and my boyfriend is 15 and i love him and loves me too.and i want to have sex with him but im scared that my family will think that i am a hoe. what should i do? i really want to have sex with him because i love him how should i...
A. 27 April 2009: Your parents won't think you're a "hoe" if you're trying to make a responsible and safe decision. They might still be a little shocked (their baby girl is growing up), and they might tell you that it's too early and that you'll have to wait until ... (read in full...)
What can I do now to make him see that its me he should have?
Q. So I went to a really great party last night and I ended up liking this boy, my age but short. We went for a little walk down the fields because the party was in the countryside and we were laughing and dancing to music on his ipod. And at that ...
A. 27 April 2009: I think the best way of dealing with this is, like BleedingHeart says, is to wait it out. Let him choose for himself. Just keep being your wonderful self, when you two are together, definitely keep up this flirty relationship to know that you're ... (read in full...)
Most women want what they can't have, is that true?
Q. Hi I'm a 28 Y.O man and I've noticed ( and a lot of men notice it too) when I'm in a relationship, some women wanna come and talk to you, even flirt, I see their eyes and they're stripping me naked. When I'm single, I have a hard time for them to...
A. 24 April 2009: Hi there,
As a lady, I've noticed this too. When I'm in a relationship, suddenly I turn into this irresistible babe and it's like, WHERE THE HECK WERE YOU WHEN I WAS SINGLE!?
I think this is because when we're not looking for something, we al... (read in full...)
Help! Who do I believe?
Q. Dear Cupid, help me out on this. I am in a relationship of one year. We are okay together but my parents aren't okay with him coz they think someone else is best for me. Someone they know who is a family friend though he doesn't stay in the same ...
A. 24 April 2009: Well, the way you tell it, it sounds like your sisters are lying. Perhaps 'TogTog' is right, they say your boyfriend innocently talking to her and they blew it out of proportion. Then your sister's exaggerated that he was making out with her. If I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's "ex" is returning to the city and I'm feeling very jealous/insecure.
Q. My boyfriend's "ex something" is returning to the city and I'm feeling very jealous/insecure. This girl my boyfriend used to have a huge crush on during high school is returning to town. I fear that she's more perfect for him than I am. Let me exp...
A. 24 April 2009: Hello my darling,
He seems pretty hooked on you to me. It sounds like you guys have a pretty solid that relationship. Why would he ruin that for someone else, anyone else? He loves you.
If he had that with this girl, they would have made ... (read in full...)
Even although he cheated on me, now I just want him to hug me...
Q. Hey... I'm 14 and a 2 month ago I split up with my boyfriend who I had been going out with for 7 months because I felt the love wasn't there and I didn't care what he had to say. He wasn't very smart and didn't care to have a conversation about ...
A. 23 April 2009: Hi my darling,
Kelly has got it right, girlfriend. FORGET THIS GUY!!! I know how you're feeling, you are suffering from a broken heart. Sometimes the only way to get over that is time, but you know what speeds up the process? Feeling super go... (read in full...)
2 months, no luck. I obviously don't know how to act around women. What can I do?
Q. Hi, I've been going out on the town for about 2 months now. I've tried hard to go out and enjoy myself on a night without looking to find a girl. It's been pretty easy, but so far I haven't had any success. My friends only really go to clubs and ...
A. 23 April 2009: Hi there,
If you're trying to find a lady, the club probably isn't the best place to do that. Clubs are lots of fun and it's completely POSSIBLE to find a lady, but it's certainly not the best avenue to go down if you're looking for a serious ... (read in full...)
I just paranoid of being hurt again or do I have good reason to be as such?
Q. I have been in a relationship for a little over 5 years and we have had our ups and downs as far as it goes. She has cheated on me in the past and I am still suspicious of things that she does, my question is am I just paranoid of being hurt again ...
A. 23 April 2009: Not too much information here, but with what little I know... YES, you are paranoid of being hurt again, but you DO have a good reason to be. Was she frequently cheating on you? Were you going through a particularly rough patch? What brought this ... (read in full...)
Normal for a straight girl to fantasize about gay sex?
Q. Sometimes when I masturbate I think of lesbians. But I'm a straight girl. Is this normal?...
A. 22 April 2009: Completely normal, sweetness!!!!!! Don't let a worry cross your mind. And keep in mind that gay-straight-bi is a big spectrum with tons and tons of gray area. Don't stress about it!... (read in full...)
If two virgins have sex, (and no protection is used), does that mean that neither will get a sexually tramsmitted disease?
Q. If you are a virgin, you can't have a sti, as you have never has sex, right?? So, In theory, if two virgins have sex, (and no protection is used), does that mean that neither will get a sexually tramsmitted disease? Please answer!!! I need t...
A. 21 April 2009: You got great advice, I just want to push the PREGNANCY factor!! Most methods that don't involve any protection (pulling out, going by your ovulation cycle, or any other theorized contraception) are NOT reliable. They may work some of the time, but ... (read in full...)
What should I do to motivate a proposal?
Q. Hello I'm 29 years old and my partner is 50, we have been shacking up for 2.5 years outside of the few times I kicked him out. We are both attractive and it is not a sugar daddy realtionship I love him deeply and do not want another relationship. We ...
A. 20 April 2009: Hi there,
Why did you kick him out? What did he do to deserve that? As I read your question, I get the same vibe that "Kellyxxx" got - why do you want to marry him? Not only does he have to have done something to deserve getting his butt kicked o... (read in full...)
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