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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 22 January 2008: It's about time. lol. Take care.... (read in full...)
Can it be possible that he really loves me?
Q. recently i don't know what to do my ex boyfriend and i dated for 4 years on and off. he always tells me he loves me and that were meant to be and that he cant live with out me. he's cheated on me so many times and even had sex with with many of my ...
A. 21 October 2007: If you're not interested in chatting with him, when he comes by to chat with you, just glance up at him, turn and go off talking to someone else. He'll get the picture you're not interested in having a conversation.... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish to want to do some things to make myself happy instead of her?
Q. I spent years in a bad relationship, caring for my kids by my first wife. I am now divorced twice, kids are grown, and I am in a relationship I think is not good. She says she loves me and the when she is with her friends she never calls never lets ...
A. 10 October 2007: Being alone is not a bad thing. I'm quite happy being alone, but I have also built myself up to a point where happiness is within me, and not through any external means. I hear people say, "oh he or she makes me so happy." Great when you buy a new ... (read in full...)
My childrens mum walked out just before our wedding. How do I tell our 6 yr old that I don't know when she's coming back?
Q. i was meant to be getting married Sat. 20th Oct. but my partner left me. our 6 year old is totally in denial about this and keeps talking about when me and his mom get married, which obviously isn't going to happen now. i keep telling him that...
A. 10 October 2007: This has to be extremely rough for both of you. First of all, try not to show any ill feeling about your ex in front of him. He can pick that up, and all though she did this, she's still his mom. That's going to create more resentment.
His c... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 10 October 2007: I tend to be shy about sex too, but you left yourself open, and I just had to take it.... (read in full...)
Do I talk to my man about my ex?
Q. I was in a marriage that my ex was having affairs.I think im still trying to deal with that. my ex wants to go get help and work on things. i have been dating a guy for about 9months now and my ex is upset that im seeing this man.He wants our fami...
A. 10 October 2007: It is hard to get past it. Every second of our lives are files in different sections of our brain. What's hard is our brain looks at pleasure as pleasure. I'll use sex as an example, since most can relate to that. Sex, to me, feels good, it's ... (read in full...)
What happened to me? I think my drink may have been laced?
Q. Hey there! Im really really confused and getting really down about what has happened as i dont understand how/or what happened. The other week I went out with a group of friends. I had a few drinks and was feeling abit drunk (but Im usually re...
A. 10 October 2007: I'm not saying you're bad looking, but these guys usually don't make it a huge habit to recognize their victim. It sounds as if your drink was laced. I would say you were more than likely not the first person he has done this too.
Have you talk... (read in full...)
Do I talk to my man about my ex?
Q. I was in a marriage that my ex was having affairs.I think im still trying to deal with that. my ex wants to go get help and work on things. i have been dating a guy for about 9months now and my ex is upset that im seeing this man.He wants our fami...
A. 9 October 2007: You need to tell your boyfriend what's going on. He's the innocent one, if you chose to go back, he's still be the innocent one, or the victim of your choices.
You said your still dealing with his cheating? No going back until that's settled. You ... (read in full...)
Why should I give him a BJ? I don't get anything out of it!
Q. ok it seems my man wants a bj all the time but he wants me to finish it without my getting any pleasure what should i do about this ...
A. 9 October 2007: Fair game. It's OK to give him a BJ and finish, but only if he pleasures you at times without expecting anything for himself. It's not right to expect it all the time when he's laying there with a smile on his face, and you're laying there going "ok ... (read in full...)
We were happy until I found out about my fiance's secret affair with my mother.
Q. I just found out that my fiancee who I have been with for 8 years and have a 3 month old son with had an affair with my mother. She told me a couple of days ago, she said that it happened about 2 years ago. A month before he proposed to me actually...
A. 9 October 2007: They are both to blame. It's not like your mother said "if you want me to approve of your relationship I have to try you out first."
About the baby, that's up to you. I think families should stay together and raise their children, unless the beha... (read in full...)
Do I give my ex another chance?
Q. hello i recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, the relationship was perfect at start between us, our family liked each other and we did everything together. the problems started a few months ago we started to argue and fight alot, until we...
A. 9 October 2007: You are considering taking her back. Not unless you want to take on a lot of baggage. Ask your self this: How is it your fault with her spreading her legs for another man. Unless you were actually the invisible pulley stretching those legs apart, ... (read in full...)
How do I toughen up in my relationship?
Q. Im a whimp in my relationship, My wife, now ex wife, left me and my children for another man that she met while at a family funeral in the UK, she never returned. I am now very much in love with Nicole, I smother her through fear of losing her, b...
A. 9 October 2007: She left you and your children while at a funeral? That is one place I have never personally thought of as being a place to find a date.
It's hard sometimes when fears are developed. You felt abandoned, and so now being in a situation similar (the... (read in full...)
He began watching porn, then doesn't want sex at all, what's going on?
Q. hello everybody i am confused about something but i will try my best to be brief in this note i have been with this man for seven years and it has not all been smooth sailing but it has been lovely for the most part, we have been very dedicate...
A. 9 October 2007: I have to say, you are in major denial. Through out your story you suspected him numerous time about cheating. As far as I know 1+1+1 still =3. Did he come home with his cell phone, if so he couldn't have lost it. Going out in the evening to discuss ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my teacher how I feel?
Q. I'm a legal adult now. I really like him and want to buy him presents or do something else nice for him *blush*. Unfortunately there's still a large age gap between my teacher and myself (He's actually around my dad's age *ugh*). I was ...
A. 9 October 2007: First of all, I have children. I love my children very very very much, changing diapers again, she's have to keep the fantasy a fantasy. If he is currently teaching you, you need to keep your boundaries teacher/student. I'm fairly sure if you asked ... (read in full...)
Leave loveless marriage for crush?
Q. i have been in a basically loveless marriage for about 10 years...i really don't know whu i even got married to this guy in the first place...he's a nice guy and all and a lot of women would probably love to have him, good looking and all. but i am ...
A. 9 October 2007: Never do anything until divorced. Doing so ends the marriage with deceit and begins the new relationship with deceit. It's your choice if you file for divorce or not. If you do some advice. SLOW DOWN. There is a reason why Doctors, Pastors, ... (read in full...)
Stay in unrewarding relationship for her daughter's sake?
Q. I'm 24 my girlfriend is 21. We have been living together for over a year and a half. We really don't have anything in common. We have totally different personalities, but I don't know if I should leave because I love her daughter who is two with ...
A. 9 October 2007: A whole year and a half with nothing in common. It's up to you if you leave or not. If you decide to stay respect the differences you have. We don't date because their like us, we date because their not. Could you imagine waking up every morning to ... (read in full...)
Stay with immature girlfriend for our daughter?
Q. When my girlfriend is mad she likes to push my buttons, it seems as if on purpose. It could be something as silly as me wanting the bedroom door shut in order to catch some shut eye, and her refusing to leave it closed. It's like we have reverted ...
A. 9 October 2007: I think you need to look at these behaviors she's displaying. Do you see it as being normal or abnormal behavior? It sounds to me as if there is something going on in her head other than trying to start an argument. I think she needs to see a ... (read in full...)
Is she still cheating? She's confusing!
Q. my girl friend cheated on me on my sons first birth day. i realy dont know what to do.one minute she makes plans for the futchure and the next she dosnt want me around.is she still cheating?should i just give up?please help im realy hurt and ...
A. 9 October 2007: I'd go to counseling. Did you ask her if she had been. Tell her "you know it's strange to me how you feel one way then change to another." If she's not, then it's still important to find out about the changes in behavior. ... (read in full...)
My parents are always arguing. How can I make them stop? They're doing my head in!
Q. why do my parents constantly argue!!!! i dont think i can cope with this any more. they argue all the time over petty little things, like my dad didnt hover the car befre we went away so my mum started an arguement n then it led to a massiv rowand t...
A. 8 October 2007: Well if that's the route they take, it may be. It's better than causing emotional harm on children.
Try doing the posters, that will give them a constant reminder of what their behavior is doing.
If that doesn't work, I guess you could help t... (read in full...)
Someone who abused me transfered to my college and is starting again.
Q. i am 16 years old with a boyfriend of 18 and we are very much in love. i have clinical depression (external) and my boyfriend is a great support for me , i was bullied all the way through highschool and they made my life even more of a misery than ...
A. 8 October 2007: Self harm, NO. Why would you allow this girl to have that power over you? If you create self harm, you're giving your power over to this other person. You need to be strong, and your friends as well. If she comes over to your friends talking her ... (read in full...)
Should I work things out with my husband or go with this other man?
Q. I've been married for 11 years now with 3 children, but recently my husband has not been taking any notice of me we barely talk, hardly ever have sex or even do things as a family. 4 weeks ago i met a new man but he lives a plane ride away, he is a ...
A. 8 October 2007: I bet every time you hear a noise in your car, you toss it aside and buy a new one.
Three hours a night on the computer, I wouldn't be trying to talk to you either. It's great how computers work. The new song that came out here in the US "Myspace... (read in full...)
My bf says he doesn't like my lifestyle, my mother has health problems, I feel have hit the lowest point. How do you keep believing in goodness?
Q. Have hit the lowest point of my life, my boyfriend who used to be fascinated with me, copying me in every detail of my life, now says he doesn't like my lifestyle and it gets worse, he says we're broken up whereas a few weeks ago were were laughing...
A. 8 October 2007: This has to be very difficult for you. There are many things we face that cause trials in our lives, we're challenged to overcome them. There are many ways of doing it, and building yourself back up. Your mothers sounds like a wonderful person. I'm ... (read in full...)
I plan to marry again. What is the Catholic stance on this?
Q. I am Catholic, I was married previously in a civil ceremony, but 4yrs into the marriage it was blessed by my Parish Priest. My spouse is deceased (3 yrs ago) I am planning to be remarried, this individual is not Catholic, but is divorced. What do ...
A. 8 October 2007: If you get married in a Catholic Church, you go through classes and he becomes Catholic.
If you get married in a different church, you're not able to receive communion. ... (read in full...)
At first, I am really into sex and I want that pleasure. But after it's over, I feel horrible, guilty. Maybe it has to do with the past abuse, help?
Q. I am 21 years of age, and after sex, I feel bad..unlike most who feel satisfied. I feel as if I have done something wrong and should be punished. I don't have a very exciting sex life yet, it's pretty much "normal." I was molested as a child and I ...
A. 8 October 2007: It's a transfered emotion. You haven't come to terms with being molested. The pain caused form being molested brings on this feeling.
Here is something that has been proven to have worked time and time again. I've studied and studied on this sub... (read in full...)
What should I do about this note in which I'm asked for a date and not to tell anyone? A boy gave it to me from behalf of his friend, supposedly.
Q. Hi dearcupid, just hoping you could help me out with this situation... The brief story is that i recieved a letter in one of my classes...It basically was asking me out, for a trip to cinema! However, i am quite confused as to whether its seri...
A. 8 October 2007: call the number. save your humility if it's done correctly. just say "i got this note from you." wait for him to answer and display what he wants and doesn't want. if it's a prank at your expense. you can the simply say "i don't know what you are ... (read in full...)
Within 3 weeks he told me he was falling for me and I slept with him. Since then he only tells me he loves me when he is drunk. Why?
Q. my boyfriend and i are together 7 months now. he told me within 3 weeks that he was falling for me and i slept with him. since then he only tells me he loves me when he is drunk. he is very practical and im very idealistic so im not sure if we are a ...
A. 8 October 2007: That boy sure does fall fast. You're confused because your asking the wrong people. There's not enough history listed in your question to accurately give you possibilities. You need to sit down with him and find out what he's feeling and how he ... (read in full...)
Why would she want to cause me any aggro?
Q. ok, well my life is so confusing right now lol. me and my ex broke up about 2 weeks ago. i really did like him and bla bla bla so on and so on. well he new girlfriend. i have gym with her so i kno who she is and vice versa. well me and my ex staye...
A. 8 October 2007: Exercising her control.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: You should feel lucky. How many women have a husband who's mission is to give his wife an orgasm? You usually here of guys, the whole 2 minutes, if that, leaving their partner to wonder "what about me".
This has been strange. It's almost like we'... (read in full...)
My parents are always arguing. How can I make them stop? They're doing my head in!
Q. why do my parents constantly argue!!!! i dont think i can cope with this any more. they argue all the time over petty little things, like my dad didnt hover the car befre we went away so my mum started an arguement n then it led to a massiv rowand t...
A. 8 October 2007: You rent a motel for your parents. You are such a big girl. Bad situation but I am proud to hear how you have taken care of your brother and sister. All though you story touched me, you're still young and should not be burdened with this ... (read in full...)
Why would she want to cause me any aggro?
Q. ok, well my life is so confusing right now lol. me and my ex broke up about 2 weeks ago. i really did like him and bla bla bla so on and so on. well he new girlfriend. i have gym with her so i kno who she is and vice versa. well me and my ex staye...
A. 8 October 2007: It's her jealousy. She's with him now, you were with him, you contacting him posses a possible threat to what she's trying to accomplish. It's the fear of you going back to the ex while she's with him.
He may have broken it off because she didn... (read in full...)
My wife is a slob around the house and neglects me. Can I trust her to live up to her promises?
Q. I have known my wife for 7 years. Married to her for 5 years. During this time my wife has had 5 operations and has been diagnosed with Lupus. I have Multiple Sclerosis so my health isn't the greatest either. For the past 2 years or more I ...
A. 8 October 2007: After reading this the big question I have is where to start.
OK, talk about pointing fingers. Instead of starting to agree with you about her behavior let's look at yours. Your excuses. Your wording that tells a lot about this situatio... (read in full...)
Can I fall in love with my husband again? How?
Q. I have been married for 9 years and I feel I deeply love my husband but after so long the "in love" stage seems to be gone. I am starting to think this is the reason why I have fallen in love with another man. I haven't told anybody and I don't pl...
A. 8 October 2007: You said it add spark to your routine. All though you fell in love with another man. I really have to give you credit for your beliefs, morals and your ability to restrain yourself from acting on it. You husband is really lucky to have you.
Y... (read in full...)
Are girls supposed to cum frequently during drunken sex?
Q. Hi.. i was just wondering if its a bad thing wen i girl cums during sex, as wen i slept with my x boyfriend i was very drunk and i cant remember much, but he said i cum 2 fast and alot.. also i always cum alot when i am drunk.. i was wondering does ...
A. 8 October 2007: Girls do cum often during sex, drunk or not. But being drunk it may intensify. I know when my ex and i would have sex after getting drunk it was almost like unleashing an animal inside us that usually stayed in it's cage.
The more enjoyment you ... (read in full...)
How do I convince her that I love her more tham He does?
Q. i was with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we drifted apart and broke up. however now that she is gone i relized that i love her more than anyone else and i now we are supposed to be together. i have told her this and i know she still loves ...
A. 8 October 2007: By reading your message, If this is the way you ask her, their lies part of your problem. Desperation! By sounding desperate, you'll actually push her away, instead of bringing her close. When you first got together was she attracted to you because ... (read in full...)
What do my dreams mean?
Q. Lately, I've been having these mixed up dreams about the guy I like. The other night I drempt that we were talking about the music we like, but when I go to get some cd's for him to listen to, he's already about to leave. And a few nights earlier, I ...
A. 8 October 2007: Most dreams have meaning, maybe not to others but to you. The fact you had a dream about this particular guy, doesn't pertain to what the dream means. It may be attention, but it doesn't have to be seeking it from him. Our dreams are associations. ... (read in full...)
Without him I feel empty. I miss him so much!
Q. Dear Cupid, my ex of eight months dumped me 5 days ago. I am well aware that I'm only 17 years of age but without him I feel empty. He's currently going through a bad time in his life, getting kicked out of his home and his parents telling him that...
A. 8 October 2007: Give him time. You need to remember guys are not girls, and not just in the few physical changes. Girls when they have problems, they share with friends and seek comfort. Guys look at problems as "these are mine, and I'll deal with them myself.
I... (read in full...)
My husband does not find me attractive. How can I maintain my self-esteem?
Q. How can I mantain my self-esteem when my husband does not find me attractive? I have been married for over 20 years and my husband is currently going through a midlife crisis. Throughout our marriage, I have been the one to initiate sex. My husband ...
A. 8 October 2007: First I would like to say, "Excuses are like assholes everyone has one." There are men, I bet, who area reading this and saying "after 20 years of marriage, I wish my spouse would do half what you do to maintain yourself" Having kids and being 140 ... (read in full...)
Why do guys flirt and not follow it up?
Q. Okay here is my situation. There is a great guy at work that I have always liked, and he's always been really nice and friendly to me too. We occasionally work on projects together. We get along and have fun bantering back and forth. However, over ...
A. 8 October 2007: With him not taking part in work happy hours and such, it sounds as if he may be a bit introverted. You sparked something in him allowing this flirtatious side to come out. He may like you and want to date, but people who are a bit introverted have ... (read in full...)
Is he going to surprise me on our anniversary?
Q. Saturday my bf and i were shopping and he told me too walk away before he got mad. I knew he wasnt, but i did it to humor him. He was looking at the jewlery and it even looked like the wedding rings section. I did not mean to peek but on Sunday ...
A. 8 October 2007: It sounds possible. Don't get your hopes up, my ex did that once. I had a nice box, which looked like a rig box, she thought I was going to ask her to marry me. I wasn't ready for that, all though she said she loved the 1/2 carrot diamond ear rings ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for wanting her to move back with me?
Q. This may be long winded but your help would be appreciated!! I was seeing a girl for 4 years, we had a long distance realtionship but still saw each other evry weekend and spoke every night. We had broken up a few times due to the distance bu...
A. 8 October 2007: I understand your concern. I read this and what came to my mind was "Mr. Fix it" You said she doesn't have the strength to be a police woman? Is that your opinion or is that her opinion?
Now it's OK to ask her, but what I want you to keep in mind... (read in full...)
I am curious as to why hetrosexual males want anal sex?
Q. I am curious as to why hetrosexual males want anal sex? I personally have always considered it to be a homosexual activity and wonder why straight guys would wish to engage in this when they have other options?...
A. 8 October 2007: I'm not a big fan either, unless the girl is. It's about pleasing her. Heck you have to admit, it's not hard to please a guy. I know I haven't been too picky. But if that's something she wants. ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's wrong to look at porn and masturbate at age 13?
Q. I am 13 and I look at porn and masturbate. I have this urge to have sex, but know I shouldn't in case I regret it later. Do you think it's wrong to look at porn and masturbate?...
A. 8 October 2007: It's nice to see someone who's honest about it. I remember growing up, partially, the subject came up and all the guys, "nope, never done that, and never would." As you get older, you know they were full of it.
It's not abnormal to do that, It's... (read in full...)
Can it be possible that he really loves me?
Q. recently i don't know what to do my ex boyfriend and i dated for 4 years on and off. he always tells me he loves me and that were meant to be and that he cant live with out me. he's cheated on me so many times and even had sex with with many of my ...
A. 8 October 2007: He doesn't love you. He loves sex. There's a difference. See, he thinks it's OK for him to cheat, date others, screw all your friends, and when it comes to you he wants you to place yourself on reserve as a backup for him to play with when no one ... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: Good luck at the Doc.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 8 October 2007: Good luck at the Doc.... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 6 October 2007: I would still see what the possible cause of the pain is. For a period I had pain too, lower ab area, right before. Very dull throbbing pain.
I went to the hospital a couple of months ago because I thought I has having a heart attack, and my daug... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 5 October 2007: Is it the area that is being stimulated that is painful, or somewhere else, like as the body is preparing for the explosion?
With his mission do you think about what you want the outcome to be, or do you just relax and enjoy? Trying too hard can ... (read in full...)
Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me "come".
Q. I have had three boyfriends, but now I am married and my husband is intent on making me "come". Everything feels GREAT, but none of my partners has ever made me even come close, except for with clitorial stimulation. Even when I do get to THAT ...
A. 5 October 2007: Is it the area that is being stimulated that is painful, or somewhere else, like as the body is preparing for the explosion?
With his mission do you think about what you want the outcome to be, or do you just relax and enjoy? Trying too hard can ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish to want to do some things to make myself happy instead of her?
Q. I spent years in a bad relationship, caring for my kids by my first wife. I am now divorced twice, kids are grown, and I am in a relationship I think is not good. She says she loves me and the when she is with her friends she never calls never lets ...
A. 4 October 2007: You went from one bad relationship to another bad relationship. It seems as if she is very self centered, and is not being a good partner in this relationship.
I will tell you what the problem is and how this happened. I listened to Dr. Phil and ... (read in full...)
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