A
male
age
36-40,
*rtigger
writes:helloi recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, the relationship was perfect at start between us, our family liked each other and we did everything together. the problems started a few months ago we started to argue and fight alot, until we eventually said it was over between but we never told each other that, my girl then went and starting seeing another man after like a week when we broke up i told her i wanted to work things out with her, three days after we broke up and she even agreed to that and we kept in touch almost everyday and told me she wasn't seeing anyone and i believed her because i loved her deeply and trusted her. so i recently found out infact she was sleeping around with this guy all this time and she admitted it to me and told me it was my fault that i treated her bad in the past thats why she got a new man. please help me and i'm so confused and she is now saying she is confused aswell and wants me back. what can i do? can i take her back or just cut my losses and try and move on or maybe give her another chance.
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female
reader, cheerleader17  +, writes (10 July 2010):
I would give her a second chance but make sure you make very good and clear that she can't do that anymore. I realize that some people are saying that you should just completly give up on her that she cant be trusted but really if you were with her for 3 years, dont you think that there is something there. Honestly give it one more chance. When you have nothing then you have nothing to loose.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): move on bro... infidelity is an awfully unfair thing. My girlfriend just broke it off with me 9 days ago after 2 years and 9 months... She broke up with me because i can be immature and lazy... ok, useless ;-)... but I would give anything to have her back, and will remain strong and make her jealous until she does... Jealousy is quite potent :-)Best of Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): Alright, Let us please be honest with ourselves for one second... Ready? Go. Now, the majority of the the posts on here are telling you to let her go, shes no good for you, blah blah blah, and a variety of other things. I agree that she could be rebounding off of the other guy she tooled around with, and coming back to something thats stable, however, maybe yes maybe, she didnt know what she wanted at the time, and blaming you in no excuse, but maybe she was just confused, and needed a dramatic event to prove to herself she still loved you. Now you know your situation better than anyone else, so if this is not the case, you pack up and walk away right now. But if you love this girl, and you KNOW not think she loves you, the pain and hurt that you feel right now, is the worst it will ever get. If you get back together with her, you'll be happier, until if wrong, it happens again. But the brightside to that is that you'll only feel as bad as you do right now... and isn't true love worth that second chance? third chance? fourth chance? fifth chance? In my opinion yes, you make your own decisions though, the balls in your court.-Hopeless Romantic-
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): NO!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): leave her she is a bitch and she don't deserve you, u sound like a nice dude who admits failure and wrong doing, i think she just be been blown of by her lover that why she is trying to get back to you man.
leave the slut and move on bro before you get really hurt...
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 People do really stupid things when they are young, and your girlfriend may just be insecure enough to fall into the arms of the first guy who came on the scene after she broke up with you.
Blaming you for it though is a worrying sign, but was this said when you were having an argument? it may have been just a defensive reaction and she didnt really mean it.
Having said that, it appears this girl is not ready to commit and lets face it mate, she sounds like high maintenance.
I would move on if I were you. Put it down to experience.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Hey, you guys are young and have been together quite a while and i find this sort of thing happens alot at this age.
You kind of get scared that you have not done much as you have been with the same person and you think the grass is greener and you want to experiment a little, then it hits you you had what you wanted and you have just found out the hard way and people have been hurt in the process.
The only way you can be together and be happy is to put this behind you, which ok can be easier said than done but it is possible and you really have to work hard at it.
If i had not given it another go i would not be happily married with two children now.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 October 2007):
 You are considering taking her back. Not unless you want to take on a lot of baggage. Ask your self this: How is it your fault with her spreading her legs for another man. Unless you were actually the invisible pulley stretching those legs apart, and she had no control or ability to make a decision, it's not your fault.
This behavior is a clue. She doesn't take responsibility for her own actions. What do you want in a women, someone who places the blame or takes the blame when they themselves do something? Taking responsibility is a sign of strength. The fact is, you did not choose her behavior, she did. If I was abusive, wouldn't that be a poor choice on my part, if the person I abused screwed somebody, that's a choice they made.
If in fact you treated her so bad in the past, why would she want you back, unless she was again justifying her actions by placing blame on you.
She said she wasn't with this person during the time she was. I wouldn't trust her at all. What went on with the other guy, is she so dependent that maybe the other guy now rejects her so she defaults back to someone who will take her in.
She needs some help, until she gets the help she needs, move on and don't be her crutch, or excuse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Do you really want to go back to this misery? You say you argued a lot, then why would you want to go back to that? Things wont change just because you got back together, in fact they will be worse, because she slept with someone when she said she hadnt, so you will have that to niggle at you all the time. No, i dont think it would be a good idea to get back together. But at the end of the day, the decision is yours, it is your life!!
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anskydu +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I would not bother with her. It seems like you love this girl alot and still have feelings for her, but you will never be able to put all ur trust in her knowing that she slept around on you. I think that you need to let time take its course right now and start putting ur energy into things you love to do. Good luck buddy
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): The simple answer is No reason being if she slept around with other men whilst in a relationship with you she is just not to be TRUSTED
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