A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we drifted apart and broke up. however now that she is gone i relized that i love her more than anyone else and i now we are supposed to be together. i have told her this and i know she still loves me but feels its unfare to not give her new boyfriend a chance. how do i convince her that i love her more than he ever will? wat should i do?
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 you know the saying you don't know what you can't till you lost it. thats what you are experiencing. if you guys dirfted apart there is no oint trying again.
or
you can let her have a chance with this guy and if he doesn't have a chance than maybe try again but to be honest i would move on you really don't want to have to go through all that pain again.
good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): If you drifted apart then, then life with her now would be just as bad. Accept that she now has a new bloke and you are no longer with her. MOVE ON!!! Get out there and forget about her. Chances are she has forgot about you. Let her be with her new bloke and you get yourself a girlfriend. Going back never works, i know, so dont do it.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 October 2007):
 By reading your message, If this is the way you ask her, their lies part of your problem. Desperation! By sounding desperate, you'll actually push her away, instead of bringing her close. When you first got together was she attracted to you because you fell to knees, grabbed her around the leg and wouldn't let her move? Of course not. That wouldn't work then, and it won't work not. First concentrate on this statement;
"I love you more than anyone else, and we are suppose to be together." What does that say to you. Let's expand it and see what someone else would hear, all though you have good intentions. "It is impossible for someone else to love you like I do. (this says your just not good enough to be loved by others.) We are suppose to be together. (this says, even if our relationship stinks, I'm as good as you're capable of finding.)
Haven't you ever been with a women and maybe said something that you didn't explain, just left for them to assume, then you have to defend your statement by "that's not what I said." and she says "but that's what you means isn't it?" this can go on and on. I'll stop there. Just thinking about it, I could fill up a whole page where that one conversation could take many different directions.
Now, I know your angry, and upset and hurt. These behaviors are very natural. I know you want her to return but first your going to have to do a few things. (1) Stop the desperation. (2) Stop thinking about yourself and what you want (3) Stop thinking about the other guy and his capabilities of love.
Now that your done with that, you can begin thinking about her. What are her needs. If she came with you, what could you offer her. Where did this relationship go wrong on your end.
Of course you have reasons you want her to be with you, but in order to have to be with you has nothing to do with you or the other guy or anyone else but her. You have to provide her with reason that you would be the best choice. What changes would be made if she came back. What would make things different than before. Make her feel special. She's not obligated to choose you, but you'd live every day honored that she did.
Then whether it's with her or with someone else. Here's something to be aware of. The way to keep her. Did you know people only feel real, true, deep down to the core, tickle my fancy kind of love one way. They can feel appreciate many ways, but not the heaviest extent of feeling loved?
People feel it one of three different ways. (1) Told it in a special way. (2) Touched in a certain way (3) Shown it, by taking them somewhere or a gift. When the relationship begins, what most call the honeymoon phase, we touch all three areas, but as time moves on we make a big mistake. We begin showing them love in the way we ourselves feel loved. The way we do, may not be the way they do.
Observe when you're with her. What gets her to absolutely melt, then for the time together just repeat over and over and over again. She'll fell loved all the time if you do that.
I listened to a tape where the speaker did that with an audience member, asked the husbands permission. He even had her show him how to hug her to make her feel loved. He then did it ask she showed him, and this lady you would think was is a position I bet her husband didn't always bring her too. Her body went completely limp with enjoyment in his arms. I bet now the husband is doing that more often.
I wish you luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): You should let her go, she has a new boyfriend, be respectful that she has moved on. It does not really matter that you love her more than he ever could, that won't make her love you, she has to want that for herself....it isn't about you, it is just not meant to last more than likely, you trying to convince her will be seen as pressure and lack of respect for what she is trying to tell you, so back off....let her miss you, and when new boyfriend does not work out, she may realize what she lost and be back to you. In the meantime live like you have never been hurt and take some other girls out.
You are only young once and there is no reason to be tied down with just one girl at this stage of your life.
You need to learn more about you, and what you want to accomplish with your life. Take care.
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A
male
reader, djjazzyjeff +, writes (8 October 2007):
Well my friend, I would say you need to offer her a point of diffenerce, think about the negative things that she may have mentioned to you about her new guy, carefuly remind her of them whilst comparing your love for her, you need to make her feel like she is the one and only, let her know just how individual she is, let her know that she is THE MOST special person EVER. I wish you luck my friend!
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