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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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Should I take any notice of my father?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about 6 months now. We are both divorced. I am 23 and he is 39. I like the way our relationship is going and we are very happy. My mother adores him, but my dad only sees the age difference and refuses to even meet ...
A. 11 October 2007: Your fathers opinion matters. Why does he feel this way. What is his insecurity in your ability to make choices. He's acting out of fear. "If I don't acknowledge it, my girl can't get hurt."
You guys should talk and iron this out. Let him know "I l... (read in full...)
A week after our break up, she has now contacted me. Should I try to win her back/
Q. ok i need some advice badly last week my girlfriend dumped me and we havent spoken since then but today she was online on messenger and she sent me a message and i dont think that she is intrested in going out with me again but the thing is now ...
A. 11 October 2007: Before this is answered, I have one question for you: What do you look for in a women?... (read in full...)
Our group of friends seems to be tearing apart. Any advice?
Q. I will make this as short as possible. I have two friends. I have known one for around 2 and a half years whom i shall call Debs and the other just over a year, who shall be called Sophy. Before i met the two of them they were the best of friends. ...
A. 11 October 2007: That was fine with information. You need to look at Debs. Look at her feelings. You and the other individual have things in common that you don't share with Debs. Where does that leave her? Feeling as if she's left out in the cold, or outside the ... (read in full...)
Is it harsh or unfair of me to ignore him?
Q. Hope someone can help me out in my hurt and confusion. I almost got involved with a married man I know but stopped myself before things got out of hand. There are still some hard feelings...perhaps more on my part. He did lead me on about his mart...
A. 11 October 2007: No, it's best you cut ties with him.... (read in full...)
Don't trust her and not so sure about him either
Q. i wrote into this site last week concerning a sister-in-law that has been after my bf since 1969 when her husband and my bf's brother died. she said that day so i have been told that she wanted my bf since her husband died. after my bf's wife ...
A. 11 October 2007: He has his own plane. They are really rich. You'd think there normal first response would be. We're rich, we'll come to you, instead of you spending your money. I'm not saying I'm rich, but I had more money than my daughters mother. I knew it would ... (read in full...)
He wants to hang out. How can I make him take some responsibility?
Q. What if you have been with someone for three years and you are always fighting about him wanting to hang out. You told him you wanted to go separate ways but he wants to stay together and he tells you he should be able to come and go as he please ...
A. 11 October 2007: That's what I'm talking about. You need to be taken care of emotionally as well as other ways. Not being there is selfish on his part. I'm not implying he can't go out and shoot pool, but with a family he needs to limit himself, and provide a ... (read in full...)
I can't believe I cheated
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend... I love her so much... She is beautiful and really intelligent and has a great sense of humor... She takes care of me, makes me dinners, lunches, gives me back rubs, buys me random presents, pays for fuel for my car....
A. 11 October 2007: She may dump you and she may not dump you. It's not a matter of what your consequences are from your girl friend. It's a matter of doing what's right. You chose to do this with the ugly duckling, so you have you get on your knees and tell your ... (read in full...)
Is it herpes?
Q. I have sore, itchy and inflamed blisters around my genitals and think it maybe herpes, i have had coldsores before but never herpes and i havn't had intercourse with any1 that has it but am aware that it is the same virus. is this a possibility? ...
A. 11 October 2007: I would say there is a possibility. I'd set up an appointment with a doctor to get it checked.... (read in full...)
He wants to hang out. How can I make him take some responsibility?
Q. What if you have been with someone for three years and you are always fighting about him wanting to hang out. You told him you wanted to go separate ways but he wants to stay together and he tells you he should be able to come and go as he please ...
A. 11 October 2007: You can't make anyone do anything. Sucks, doesn't it. I wish their were drugs you could sneak in their drink, (not for bad use) that would be for instant affection, or instant respect. If he's going to, it has to come from him.
So he wants yo... (read in full...)
He didn't climax during the bj! Am I crap?
Q. When I gave my boyfriend a blow job, he didn't ejaculate. Am i crap?...
A. 11 October 2007: Some guys don't all the time during that. Never think you're crap, as long as he's getting a blow job, he's in seventh heaven.... (read in full...)
My dad and bf are alcoholics - I want to leave, but I love them!
Q. My father has been an alcoholic for a long time. He has beaten me and my mother since I was a baby. My boyfriend turned out to be aggressive, as well. He drinks a lot and I think he is an alcoholic, too. I would like to leave them, but I love them. ...
A. 11 October 2007: You say you love them? With love we help those we love, don't we. If someone is in trouble, don't we lend a helping hand? You're going to have to leave. You'll be doing it out of love. That sounds weird but it has two affects.
(1) You were bea... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my husband that I once had an affair during our marriage?
Q. Hi. Is it good to confess to my husband that I once had an affair with another man during our married life? Or should I just forget it? I stopped it, anyway....
A. 11 October 2007: If you could just forget it, you wouldn't be here asking. Yes you do need to tell him. A marriage is one of trust, as long as you've hiding this secret, you're living a distrustful marriage.... (read in full...)
I have bad luck with jobs and don't know what I'm doing wrong!
Q. Hello, I have really bad luck with jobs. I always get hired and fired and I dont know what I am doing wrong. The first job I had was the manager didnt really like me and my teamworkers started telling lies about me so i left. The next job...
A. 11 October 2007: You said you have anxiety attacks. What is causing that? I'd look into that before getting another job and having that repeat its self.
I don't think it's you. I think it's your views. If you fail enough, why try if you feel your doomed for fail... (read in full...)
Is there somethint he's not telling me, or is it me?
Q. Someone give me some good advice, PLEASE! I`m 31 and a mother of three and also three months pregnant and live with my partner, he is a great dad and great partner but the thing is three years ago i thought and accused my partner of having an affai...
A. 11 October 2007: In the meantime, you'll need to get security, and run a full back ground check on him. Maybe just lock him in a room and await trial. A lie detector test. When you get down to the bottom of it, you really get to the bottom. Are they inexpensive ... (read in full...)
I want to love myself, but have confidence issues.
Q. i myself, i want to love myself but i have serious confidence issues. people say im pretty, but i feel ugly all the time. how do i make myself feel better? are there things i can do to cheer myself up?...
A. 11 October 2007: All though people say you're pretty, we always believe what we tell ourselves first. Is your lack of confidence due to your looks, or is it due to missing something else in your life. We can loose confidence by being off balance. Ignoring areas of ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and like a guy who's 41. Love has no restrictions........right?
Q. What should I do? Im 18 and there is this guy I like who is 42. Im a big believer in age aint nothin but a number. Ive always been attracted to older guys (and country guys but thats another story). I would definitely say I am mature for my age. My ...
A. 11 October 2007: Get a rope, hog tie him and take him home. lol
If he likes you too, just ask him out. Say hey, I was going _____________ later, wanna join me?
Keep it simple. Guys are not that confusing. Just mention food and they'll usually follow.
Take ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to bleed two times a month?
Q. well i am on the pill and am bleeding 2 times a month is this normal ...
A. 11 October 2007: Depending on the brand of pill, and how your body reacts to it, having an abnormal cycle is normal. I'd check with your doctor and see if they want you to change to a different brand to regulate your cycle.... (read in full...)
Did I have a stupid reason to break up or looking for a way out?
Q. Did I overreact or did my fiance? My fiance have been breaking up a lot lately and arguing. Now it's over for good because a few days ago I asked if he could not use my shampoo, etc. for the shower. He yelled at me saying that I should be paying the ...
A. 11 October 2007: You were both in the wrong. Guys like to have soft silky hair too. lol
From the information you gave. If most of the behaviors resemble what you wrote here, you could save it.
To answer your questions. Maybe a bit petty on both sides. No ne... (read in full...)
Anyone had A.D.D. as a kid?
Q. My sister insist that my child has A.D.D. Whenever I tell her he doesn't seem to be based on the signs which I've Googled. She says I just don't want him to be. I don't want to get him tested,because there are no real test. I think a huge part of ...
A. 11 October 2007: I'm glad your sister isn't a doctor, I could imagine how happy she'd make pharmaceutical companies. Thank you and good luck. If you want some good information on ADHD, check out CHADD.org... (read in full...)
My ex is hanging with guys with not good reputations, I can't stop thinking about her.
Q. so i been doing good over my ex but she has been messing around with a lot of guys ans she got mad at me not to long ago about me going to 3 party's and not doing a thing we cant stand each other but we went out for 9 months and i will always care ...
A. 11 October 2007: You're still trying to be the protector. You're finished with her, let her make her own mistakes. All though you care for her, don't beat yourself up over her activities, focus on your own and being a good person for yourself. If she needs you, or ... (read in full...)
My friends wife and I were out of control, blowing my principle right out the window.
Q. I have a fair amount of experience with women but not so much in terms of committed relationships. I have governed my dating life by a few basic principles, one being you don't cross the line when it comes to your friend's girlfriend/fiancee/wife. ...
A. 11 October 2007: Nope. Principles are principles. Their how we live our lives and display our character and integrity.
Guess what, in order to get over the guilt. You guys need to have a talk with your friend and let him know about the double life. He deserves... (read in full...)
Body confidence issues
Q. im 16 and yesterday i went to buy a nice bra and i was so self conscious, i thought people were giving me looks as i have no . how do i get my to grow?...
A. 11 October 2007: Time+age = growth
Don't worry about growth, you're still young. Girls when I went to school that may feel the same way, when they were done growing at adulthood they were perfect. ... (read in full...)
My heart and soul can't imagine living without her.
Q. WAS VERY GOOD I THINK. I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU IF I MAY.I AM GOING THROUGH A BRAKE UP AFTER 8.5 YEARS. SHE TOLD ME SHE NEEDS SOME TIME. WE HAVE ONLY LIVED TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS. MY PROBLUM IS I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT I CAN NOT SEE MYSELF LIVING WITH ...
A. 11 October 2007: First of all I highly recommend seeking professional assistance. I really don't think ending it on her doorstep is the best approach. You say you love her. Doing that is a malicious action and would be considered one of hate. If you love someone, ... (read in full...)
I've gotten myself into a situation, he has a girlfriend.
Q. Help! I have got myself into a complicated situation and need some advice! I have just recently started university where I have made lots of good friends and lets just say I have got to know one of them a lot better than the others! The only problem ...
A. 11 October 2007: I think if he feelings for you are the way you say, the other girl would be history. Guys don't have as much of the fear of the unknown as women do. They do play the field I think a bit more. Could there be a possibility he's telling you what you ... (read in full...)
Could you tell me some signs of being pregnant
Q. Dear Cupid my best fren is reali worid becoz she suspected that she is pregnant, she said she had her period last month at the 10th but this month she is still waiting for it. she is worid sick coz she and her bf sometimes they had unpro...
A. 11 October 2007: Take her to taco bell and if she throws up all over the inside of the car, she'd be pregnant. lol (that was my ex wife).
You need to tell your friend, unprotected means no protection. There is no being careful. A guy could do external, he could ev... (read in full...)
I don't come close to ogasism, and he does.
Q. me and my bf just started having sex, and we use protection and were really contious about it, but one problem, he cums like 4 times and i dont orgasm or even get close to one. Is there somthing wrong with me!? like it feels good, and it pleases me, ...
A. 11 October 2007: There is nothing wrong with you. There are many women who go through life and don't have one. Around a year ago I had a friend, she said at 40 years old she'd never had one. That's all I have for you. I'll tell you like one of my kids friends that ... (read in full...)
Anyone had A.D.D. as a kid?
Q. My sister insist that my child has A.D.D. Whenever I tell her he doesn't seem to be based on the signs which I've Googled. She says I just don't want him to be. I don't want to get him tested,because there are no real test. I think a huge part of ...
A. 11 October 2007: You're going to need at least his school history through first grade in order to come to that conclusion. Do either of his parents have A.D.D.? A majority of children who have it have at least one parent with the disorder as well.
I do have A.D.... (read in full...)
How can somebody just get over a relationship ending after such a long time together?
Q. How can somebody just get over a relationship ending after a long time together? I'm struggling to do so. My first love broke up with me almost 6 months ago, after 2 years together, because she wasn't sure if she was ready to have something seriou...
A. 11 October 2007: It depends on how much was declining on her end before she broke it off. Some people if it's been a rough end do most of their healing and coping before it even ends. I know it's difficult to understand. You'll heal, just everyone heals at different ... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from the woman I love and loves me?
Q. I love my girlfiend dearly, I want to marry her, and live happily. Alas it isnt going to happen. Our relationship is so volitile, If I say the wrong thing, she breaks it off, If I get upset about anything that she says or does, she breaks it off, If ...
A. 11 October 2007: take in some counseling with her. she sounds to have some fears going on. and it's not your fault, many things cause fear. your responsible for your behavior and she is hers... (read in full...)
My friend is married into an abusive relationship. I fear for her safety. What can I do?
Q. I have a friend who is married to an abusive husband. 6 yrs ago we had an affair. I fell desperately in love with this woman. She said she felt the same about me. Her husband found out when she told him she wanted a divorce. He got violent on ...
A. 11 October 2007: Is she safe, NO. This is not a good situation. I was really getting excited when I saw he got arrested, because that would be a positive start, until I saw she was blaming herself for his actions. I wouldn't say she wants you to fight for her, she's ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mom my period has just started when I'm only 10 years old??
Q. HELP! I'm 10 years old and today I started my period in school today for the first time! I didn't tell my mom or the nurse. So so far no one knows except me of course. But I don't know how to tell my mom. She told me one of her freind's daughter is ...
A. 11 October 2007: You forgot after "hey mom I started my period" to say "pass the potatoes."
This is normal for you to begin. Your a girl. If you were a boy it might be kind of hard to explain. Your mom will be a very understanding person because she is a female a... (read in full...)
He is blaming all our problems on me!
Q. He is blaming all our problems on me! How do I get past the my ex's cheating with their ex's and most importantly how do I not push him away? ...
A. 11 October 2007: What problems is he blaming on you. You need to give some examples. Whether or not you have some issues you're getting over he said "all our". He can't blame his problems on you.... (read in full...)
Is old sex trauma interfering with sex now?
Q. Ok, this is a bit awkward but here goes... My bf and I have always had really good sex. He was a virgin when we met, I wasn't and had been with a few men before - and this didnt both either of us. We're quite adventerous and really enjoy sex...
A. 11 October 2007: Let me ask you this. When pain from trauma is stored do you know what happens that creates PTSD? The best way to explain it is being like a abscess. It starts small, then grows. You go to the dentist and they give you a 10 day supply of antibiotic. ... (read in full...)
My good friend has lung cancer, and I don't know how to comfort them anymore. Any advice?
Q. my good freind has cancer (lung) when he talks about it i don't no what to say to confort him what can make him feel better i don't no what to say anymore help plz kay...
A. 11 October 2007: What can you say? Reality is what it is. If their religious at all, I'd sit and pray with them, or maybe read the bible with them. Just letting them know your their, that can provide more comfort than anything you can verbally say.... (read in full...)
He cheated on me. Now he wants me back. What should I do?
Q. i caught my boyfriend cheating on me and i broke up with him now he wants me back,what should i do? ...
A. 11 October 2007: I'd have to agree not to take him back. He has issues. Why go out and get something somewhere else that you can get from home. If you go back your looking for a possibility of repeat behavior. Have you taken the time to really come to terms with the ... (read in full...)
Can't two people ever just fall in love, stay in love and not have to constantly "WORK" on the relationship?
Q. Has anyone ever been in a relationship where true love has lasted for longer than 5-7 years. I think I've just given up hope that true love can last for an eternity. I think for most women that "newness" feeling can last forever (if we are with ...
A. 11 October 2007: Are you pulling more weight than your spouse?
Relationships do take work, but not so much to freak you out. Two people in a marriage with kids and everything else going on is not suppose to make it harder. Each one had different strength... (read in full...)
I proposed to him indirectly and now he's told me not to call him anymore...
Q. I am in love with a guy and I proposed to him indirectly but he got angry for no reason and asked me not call him anymore. I still love him, can't forget him because I believe there is a reason for me to have met him. His character is so similar ...
A. 10 October 2007: More information please. How did you meet? What was your relationship or friendship like with him?
Thank you.... (read in full...)
We became engaged and our relationship w/ my family went downhill! How can I get it sorted?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 25 yrs old guy and i find myself to have become more reserved since i got engaged. My fiance is quite nervous about the whole thing and she says it is difficult for her to tolerate when someone says something bad to her. Being se...
A. 10 October 2007: This is a difficult one. You have to respect the fact that she has these fears. Why there present? But they need worked on.
Now she's not marrying your family, she's marrying you.
Her being nervous is natural, I'm sure you're family is not help... (read in full...)
My bf is insensitive and we rarely see each other. How do I break up w/ my him? Also, I'm cheating on him w/ my boss! Should I still date my boss?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. untill a few months ago it was great, but for a long time our relationship has been disintergrating, especially over the summer where certain incidents have driven us apart. one example is that ...
A. 10 October 2007: You know people can help you feel yourself again without literally feeling you. It has been known to happen.
First of all, let's look at your trip. Your right rape is very traumatic. Too many people take advantage of others. But on the same end... (read in full...)
I don't want to be jealous!
Q. hey guys would like your help please Me and my gf have been together for 10months now we're both virgins n are planing to have sex for the first time. my gf told me that she loves i think i feel the same but i have a problem is that she told ...
A. 10 October 2007: You have to realize her past is hers. Her being more experienced has nothing to do with how she feels about you. You'll find as you get older people develop pasts. There are some people 10-20 years old than you that have quite colorful pasts.
D... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish to want to do some things to make myself happy instead of her?
Q. I spent years in a bad relationship, caring for my kids by my first wife. I am now divorced twice, kids are grown, and I am in a relationship I think is not good. She says she loves me and the when she is with her friends she never calls never lets ...
A. 10 October 2007: Being alone is not a bad thing. I'm quite happy being alone, but I have also built myself up to a point where happiness is within me, and not through any external means. I hear people say, "oh he or she makes me so happy." Great when you buy a new ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish to want to do some things to make myself happy instead of her?
Q. I spent years in a bad relationship, caring for my kids by my first wife. I am now divorced twice, kids are grown, and I am in a relationship I think is not good. She says she loves me and the when she is with her friends she never calls never lets ...
A. 4 October 2007: You went from one bad relationship to another bad relationship. It seems as if she is very self centered, and is not being a good partner in this relationship.
I will tell you what the problem is and how this happened. I listened to Dr. Phil and ... (read in full...)
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