A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been in a basically loveless marriage for about 10 years...i really don't know whu i even got married to this guy in the first place...he's a nice guy and all and a lot of women would probably love to have him, good looking and all. but i am not in love and probably never really was...now i meet this guy at work, he started talking to me and i didn't really think much of hime at first, but after getting to know him, i am head over heels in love. he's been going to lunch with me,we haven't done anything, nor does he know how i feel about him, but i think he does have feelings for me i don't know what to do??? 'going crazy.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Never do anything until divorced. Doing so ends the marriage with deceit and begins the new relationship with deceit. It's your choice if you file for divorce or not. If you do some advice. SLOW DOWN. There is a reason why Doctors, Pastors, Counselors, Behavioral Teachers say, "the worse thing you can do going from one relationship to another is you take you with you." I can tell that with your story by two lines. "I probably never way," and "i am head over heals in love." Over working with someone and some lunch dates. I think if you don't slow down, in 10 years we'll be sitting here again hearing "I probably never was." It's called patterned behavior. You got into the relationship with your current husband by a series of activities which took you from dating to marriage, get divorces, then follow the same activities with the next one.
Going to lunch, is just lunch, having conversation is only conversation. Flirting and feeling attractive to this new person is only that. It is NOT love. Strong infatuation, very strong crush, gives you a slight tingling in your stomach, still not love. I would get that tingling the last day of school before summer, I was excited.
Anyway, if you choose this person,slow way down, take your time, and don't rush anything or it might come back to bite you.
Take care.
A
male
reader, Coaster  +, writes (9 October 2007):
Hey, I'm in the same situation, but I'm the guy who has feelings for a friend who is married and wants to leave her husband. I took advice from a couple of people on this site and decided not to progress any further with making my feelings known to her until she leaves on her own accord. Way up the pros and cons of your relationship,sounds like youve already decided. Key part of life is to love and be loved. If you truly believe you want out, get out. As "the other guy" if my friend wanted to hook up with me while she was still with her husband I would lose respect with the thought that if she could cheat on one person whats stopping her doing that to me in the future
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (9 October 2007):
Don't date the guy at work until you are divorced.
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