A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm a legal adult now. I really like him and want to buy him presents or do something else nice for him *blush*. Unfortunately there's still a large age gap between my teacher and myself (He's actually around my dad's age *ugh*). I was just wondering how far is too far? Even for a legal adult, because of the whole teacher-student relationship. He doesn't treat me any differently than my classmates. We're all pretty much treated the same way. He is a really great teacher and just love his outlook on life and how he's really an unconventional thinker (sorry if this is corny). I'm pretty sure that I don't want a full-blown relationship right now, but I do want to at least be friends right now. I'm really shy though and get intimidated easily. I really want to meet him again after I graduate (and maybe start a relationship then *blush*). I just wanted to ask, what sort of actions would be considered going too far (buying presents?) and if you guys have any suggestions for an outlet to these feelings I have (writing fake letters?). He's isn't married, but he does have children (one of them is only about 4 years younger than me *weird i know*). I find myself fantasizing very much about falling in love together and having a little children of our own who'd love and be loved by everyone *sigh*. I know I'm speaking like a lovestruck silly teen girl,but I'm not sure how else how express myself *bah*. Any advice for how to get up the courage to talk to him? What would I talk about anyway? Thanks~
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): Hmm... listen. When do you leave school?
I think you should consider, that even if you are of legal age (as to say: an adult), he still IS your teacher and it would be inappropriate for you two to start a relationship. BUT I can understand you very well, believe me.
I think I might start getting the same problem as you. I like my teacher also very much. She's just SO... genuine and honest and nice and warm, I want to be with her every minute of every day... now I'm also sounding lovesick, huh?^^
No, honestly. My advice for you:
Wait till you leave school... and then ask him out for a coffee or something... how does that sound? Just... don't rush things right now. He's still your teacher and you could get in real trouble.
Best wishes from me,
A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (13 October 2007):
 what do you honestly think telling your teacher will acheive? you reakon he'll tell you he feels the same? doubtful. he doesn't think of you any differntly than any other student. get over him and find someone less complicated.
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A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (9 October 2007):
 If he were not your teacher I doubt you would feel this way. Men who help you, show leadership and appear emotionally strong tend to stimulate the feelings we would normally have for a father, or an older brother.
Would you feel this way if he was a man you met in a club/bar/train/gym? I doubt it. In my view there's nothing taboo about having feelings for an older man, however it's important to understand where those feelings come from. I agree with the last response, that you could get him into big trouble.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 October 2007):
 First of all, I have children. I love my children very very very much, changing diapers again, she's have to keep the fantasy a fantasy. If he is currently teaching you, you need to keep your boundaries teacher/student. I'm fairly sure if you asked the office for an employee handbook, they probably have a sexual harassment section and a section that spells out "teachers may not have relationships with their students." It would only be his livelihood at stake.
Now just because he is single, doesn't mean he'd entertain the idea of changing that status. Many people stay that way because they are really happy not being with anyone.
I'd just watch it with him, and who you tell, rumors, if strong enough can have the same affect as the action its self if carried out.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (9 October 2007):
It is very risky legally for him to have any romantic contact with you. But yo could send him a thank you gift for being a wonderful teacher. Maybe a pen or tie. Maybe a calendar or a food gift certificate. Don't sign the card LOVE.
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