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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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He hasn't made another move.
Q. I bumped into this old classmate of mine about two months ago. He started calling me and we started going out on a regular basis. After a while, we started calling each other every day and going out almost always together. After about a month of ...
A. 13 December 2010: Then why not say "lets try dating" instead of lets be friends. That's a major mixed signal. On one hand you're having sex, on the other you're talking about just being friends. If his problem there was the morality, then you just made the moral ... (read in full...)
He's shy and won't call me.
Q. how long should a girl wait for a guy to call her before she loses hope in him. I told a guy to csall me abut 3 days ago, hes really shy and will IM me but not call yet....so when shud i wait til until i kno hes just nt htat interested.?...
A. 24 November 2010: True, true, but you are tortured by his lack of communication.
It's up to you what you do, just don't expect him to change.... (read in full...)
He's shy and won't call me.
Q. how long should a girl wait for a guy to call her before she loses hope in him. I told a guy to csall me abut 3 days ago, hes really shy and will IM me but not call yet....so when shud i wait til until i kno hes just nt htat interested.?...
A. 24 November 2010: Then don't bother. Why get attached to someone you can never see and who is a poor communicator?... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 24 November 2010: Listen, if you want to be together with him you'll have to learn to trust him. If you don't think you can do that then leave. Checking his emails is invasive and shows no trust.
WALK AWAY. You didn't work anything out. He may have a thing fo... (read in full...)
Unrequited love, and I need to end contact with her
Q. Alright well I am now pretty sure that I want to end all contact with the girl I am in love with. I have very strong feelings towards her I love listening to her being around her and thinking about her but unfortunately for me she doesn't feel the ...
A. 24 November 2010: Good choice, and good luck!... (read in full...)
Unrequited love, and I need to end contact with her
Q. Alright well I am now pretty sure that I want to end all contact with the girl I am in love with. I have very strong feelings towards her I love listening to her being around her and thinking about her but unfortunately for me she doesn't feel the ...
A. 24 November 2010: Yup, cutting contact is definitely the way to go. It will be difficult, but you just ignore her. If you see her, be friendly, but stop any extraneous contact. No more texting, emails, IM's, none of it. Focus your mind elsewhere. She may realize ... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 24 November 2010: You are indeed reading too much into things. With guys we're really pretty simple. Typically we mean what we say and act appropriately. Don't read into little things like that. If he doesn't text one day that doesn't mean his feelings have ... (read in full...)
Was what I did as bad as what she did?
Q. Ok, So I am struggling with my emotions on this issue. So me and my girlfriend are both Christians and we have been dating in an exclusive committed relationship for 3 years. About about a 1 year ago or so I went to an Asian massage parlor and g...
A. 23 November 2010: Was your happy ending worth this not so happy outcome?
You're both cheaters. Cheaters are cheaters. You're a match made in heaven!
The "degree" of cheating doesn't matter. Cheating destroys trust. Hell, if anything what you did was wors... (read in full...)
Does a girl always fall in love with the guy she loses her virginity to?
Q. is it true that when a girl loses her virginity that the boy/man she loses it to she kind of falls in love with him?...
A. 23 November 2010: Many girls want to be in love with someone before they lose their virginity. It doesn't mean she'll always fall for guys like that, and giving someone her virginity doesn't create love.
What if a girl lost her virginity to rape? She's supposed... (read in full...)
What cologne should I get my boyfriend for christmas?
Q. Not really a relationship question as such but something most people will have an opinion on I hope. I want to get my boyfriend some cologne as part of his xmas present, but I'm completely clueless when it's comes to male fragrance and was hoping ...
A. 23 November 2010: Nah, the question is what's YOUR favorite men's scent? Get him something you love the smell of. That way it pays off for him again and again when he wears it. Most guys aren't picky about that stuff, and if we know you like the smell of it, then ... (read in full...)
What did his text message mean?
Q. Hiya. I need some help. Basically, my ex sent me a text yesterday, simply saying my name. This made my heart skip, somersult etc. I should explain, this guy was the first ever guy I loved. I thought I had gotten over him, but I'm started to doubt ...
A. 23 November 2010: Since that's the case, he may be trying to reconnect. But the ignoring you thing still has me thinking he's trying to get over you and move on. However that's the only case when I think it's ok to give it another shot. That case being broken up ... (read in full...)
My new guy makes no effort to pleasure me, Opinions please.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months (I've known him for years) but we havent had sex. I was with a guy before and we had done everything so it took time to adjust with my new boyfriend. I know this isn't what a relationship should be about but ...
A. 23 November 2010: Not selfish at all. Turn around is only fair play. You need to discuss this with your BF. Tell him what you're feeling. He may be uncomfortable with it for many reasons, and you'll never know those unless you talk about it.... (read in full...)
Problems in my relationship and I'm falling for another woman. What should I do?
Q. I am a lesbian and have been with my girlfriend for little over two years. Most of that time has been very, very happy. However, a few months ago, she cheated on me with my friend, but after some time apart, I decided to take her back. Since ...
A. 23 November 2010: Does she like you? Yup.
How to find out? You already know. Look at all the stuff you described. That's an indication she likes you.
What should you do about it? That's going to be your call. She may be fun, but her track record is crap. ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with someone who is scared of commitment?
Q. Hi all, I have been in an on/ off relationship with a commitment phobe.I have read up all about his symptoms and he matches exactly and his actions are that of a commtiment phobe. Please can you advise on how to deal with such a person, as I am ...
A. 23 November 2010: It depends on the type of commitment phobe. Some will be perfectly happy in a monogomous relationship as long as it's not "defined." Others will be cheaters and out trying to get every piece of tail they can.
You need to decide what you want... (read in full...)
How should I react to this?
Q. I looked up my boyfriend's surfing history before and found out he did things he promised not to and swore he wasn't doing. After I confronted him about it he simply made sure all the surfing history is never stored and said it was "to avoid the ...
A. 23 November 2010: "I don't like you doing this."
"Ok, I'll just make sure to hide it better so you don't know then."
Not really much of a solution if you ask me. The fact that this is internet history related I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess i... (read in full...)
Why is my period late if I haven't had sex?
Q. Okay I need some help, I'm 15 and my period has been 10 days late I am still a Virgin so I haven't had sex. I don't understand why its late my boyfriend fingered me the day my period was supposed to come and now its really late. I don't know why the ...
A. 23 November 2010: Other reasons for missed periods are stress, over exercise, or starving yourself. Are you doing any of those things? That may influence what's going on too.
To mirror the others, talk to a doctor.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried he wants me to be his girlfriend after our second date?
Q. I recently met a gentleman @ a local gym where I work. He gave me his email - I replied - we went on our first date saturday night, but the second date (monday) he already wanted for me to be his girlfriend. He's 48 never been married no children. ...
A. 23 November 2010: "Most books" LMAO!!!
Guys reach a point where the "thrill of the chase" is no longer a thrill. In fact it's a horrific turn off. My guess is that at 48 he's reached this point. In fact, I've gotten very sick of those games and I'm only 30. I k... (read in full...)
Should I stay a virgin untill marriage?
Q. hi people ... im a virgin ... i feel like having sex but dont have any girl friend ... but i also have a secong thought that i should stay virgin till my marriage .... im in a real dilemma .... ls help ...
A. 23 November 2010: LovelessAct1 is right, this ultimately comes down to you. I do believe that a good woman will treasure the fact that you saved yourself for marriage if that's what you choose. There is really nothing wrong with either choice. I would just wait ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship be successfull even though he lies and cheats?
Q. Do you think its possible for a relationship to be successful when in the first 4 months of the relationship the man has consistently lied and cheated through it? ...
A. 23 November 2010: Only if you don't care about being lied to or cheated on. I know I couldn't be in such a relationship, but in the hypothetical anything is possible. I honestly doubt you'd find any happiness with this person though. If that activity didn't bother ... (read in full...)
What did his text message mean?
Q. Hiya. I need some help. Basically, my ex sent me a text yesterday, simply saying my name. This made my heart skip, somersult etc. I should explain, this guy was the first ever guy I loved. I thought I had gotten over him, but I'm started to doubt ...
A. 23 November 2010: He's trying to get over you. Cutting contact is the best way to accomplish that. He is actively working to put your relationship behind him as you should be too.
I know it sucks losing your first love (or any love for that matter). Some of ... (read in full...)
Is he just playing mindgames with me and that's it? Advice?
Q. I'm confused and lost. I'm totally in-love w my guy friend of many years. I never in a million years thought that he would be interested in a me. I never thought I was his type. Recently, he's been giving me compliments. Most of communications ...
A. 23 November 2010: Hmmm, I'm afraid I'm on board with QuirkLady. The more that someone is into you, the more they will actively try to spend time with you. He's probably content with your sexting conversations. Why wouldn't he be?
Since you guys have been fri... (read in full...)
For men: Is it physical or personality?
Q. I have a question for men and women. What do men find sexy, or what attracts them to a woman? Is it mostly physical, is it personality, etc...? ...
A. 22 November 2010: Character falls into the personality category for me. But it is important. ... (read in full...)
He's shy and won't call me.
Q. how long should a girl wait for a guy to call her before she loses hope in him. I told a guy to csall me abut 3 days ago, hes really shy and will IM me but not call yet....so when shud i wait til until i kno hes just nt htat interested.?...
A. 22 November 2010: 3-5 days is the general "rule." That's for any contact. Has he tried to IM with you since this "call me" conversation? Why can't you call him? Are you trying to test his interest? If he's overly shy, that may backfire.... (read in full...)
What shall I get him for xmas?
Q. my boyfriend is 17 and im 16. I dont know what to get him for christmas, he loves xbox and has a ton of games. He likes soccer. He dosent like candy very much. He dosent like gum. and I need help because i want to get him something good.....
A. 22 November 2010: The new FIFA game is out I think. That would combine xbox and games.
What kind of budget are we talking about? Can you tell us any more about him? Does he have any hobbies? Have you asked his parents for ideas? Has he been hinting at somethin... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend asking another girl for her number?
Q. The OH and I have been going through a rough patch the last week or so , we both went out saturday night with our friends, we had a row and went our seperate ways, he made a point of chatting up a girl in front of me etc in the nightclub i just ...
A. 22 November 2010: OH = Other Half.
I think he asked for the number because that's just what you do. It's a validation that you still have got game or whatever you wanna call it. It's what he did with the number that really matters. He may keep it for a back up,... (read in full...)
Why do I feel in love one moment and sick to my stomach the next?
Q. Hi! I have a problem, and I don't know what to do with it.. :( So Im hoping someone out there has some advice for me.. I have been dating this guy for the last two months now, he is 26 yrs. and I am 23. I like him alot, he is everything I want in ...
A. 22 November 2010: Hi Marie,
You're obviously confused and insecure. I hope to give you some reassurance. I've never known any guys to ask permission for a hug. I can't think of a time I've ever done it and I'm considered a nice guy by pretty much everyone... (read in full...)
Should I keep this relationship with the teacher a secret?
Q. i need help i wanna know if we should continue this relationship in secret or we shuold tell someone but i don't really want to end what we have got. i will be brief i went on this school visit for the whole weekend with school the teacher i ha...
A. 22 November 2010: This will cost him his job. It doesn't matter that he doesn't teach you directly, you're still a student and that's against the rules (legal conscenting age or not).
I don't think it's a good idea to carry on with this. If you don't want him... (read in full...)
I'm in lust with my teacher.
Q. I think I am in lust with my teacher. I'm a 15 year old girl and he is 32 years old. I dream about him, fantise about him, touch myself over him but I realise that he and I can no future. How do I get over him???...
A. 22 November 2010: Meh, enjoy it or find a boy your age to crush on. As long as you keep the very healthy attitude that this can never, and will never, happen I don't see a problem with fantasy. Just keep it to yourself so that no hint of impropriety gets out about ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get a boyfriend?
Q. i'm nearly 15 and haven't got a boyfriend yet. i'm starting to think i'll never get one!!! at my school, people play jokes asking people out and stuff, but my problem with that is that you never know when people are asking you out for real. i'm ...
A. 22 November 2010: Just wait till that immature game is done. There is no hurry and you're still plenty young.
You could always take the bull by the horns and ask out someone you like. That would be one way to make sure the proposal isn't a joke.... (read in full...)
My husband has a big crush on my best friend!
Q. My Husband and i have been married for 5 years now. For the most part it has been really good and very trust worthy. he is in the military and travels alot So trust is very important to both of us. He has never given me a reason to not to trust...
A. 22 November 2010: Ouch. Ok. On the positive side, it's great that you two are openly discussing this. Communication is so important and often gets tossed out. That's a great sign for being able to work past this.
I'm not sure what you can do. He has to get o... (read in full...)
He hasn't made another move.
Q. I bumped into this old classmate of mine about two months ago. He started calling me and we started going out on a regular basis. After a while, we started calling each other every day and going out almost always together. After about a month of ...
A. 22 November 2010: After rushing to sex like you did, he may be trying to prove he's into you for more than just sex. A lot of guys fear that girls will think we're just after them for sex because there are a lot of players out there. To a genuine guy, this would be ... (read in full...)
For the guys, can men and women be "just friends"?
Q. Can men and women be "just friends"? Or are men only friends with women that they are attracted to or fine attractive? Speaking from a woman's perspective, I know we can have platonic friends. Let's hear it from the men. :)...
A. 22 November 2010: And Sageoldguy with some sage like advice.
I've actually got a rule about this. Men can be just friends with women. Men will not actively pursue friendship with women who they don't want more from on some level. I'll explain.
I feel that s... (read in full...)
Should I pretend I'm not a virgin?
Q. im 20, almost 21 and still a virgin. I recently dated my first real boyfriend. When i told him i was a virgin, he started treating me like a little kid. he was also a pig and would have totally held it above me, sorta notch on his belt idea. What ...
A. 22 November 2010: It's a great thing! You shouldn't feel down about this at all. Anyone who picks on you about it likely resents you because they wish they had waited.
You said it yourself, this ex was a pig. Not all guys are like him. The right guy will tre... (read in full...)
Threatened by my boyfriend's female friends!
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and we're in a long distance realtionship as I'm at university.I really love him and am generally really happy in the realtionship. However, for some reason, I've always been quite a jealous person a...
A. 22 November 2010: I can see where you're coming from. The key is how you handle it. LDR's are tough enough without the added strain of such things, but then again you can't tell him who he can and cannot hang out with. If you trust him, then you'll trust him to do ... (read in full...)
Online guy thinks I'm single, but I'm back now with my boyfriend, who doesn't know about online guy. Help!
Q. hello if anyone can help me i more than appreciate it. I have a boyfriend for the last 6 and half years. We've had our ups and downs and its been on and off lots of times. 2 months ago we decided to finish our relationship. I ended up...
A. 22 November 2010: You're right that you're thinking too far ahead. Take it slowly. No need to rush. LDR's are very difficult but technology works to your advantage. See how all those good qualities you listed work out in reality. Think about the logistics of the ... (read in full...)
What do men find sexy?
Q. What do men find sexy in a woman? Is it her smile, is it the way she carries herself, is it the way she looks, is it her attitude towards life, etc...? I really would like to men what men perceive as sexy in a woman. Thank you in advance. :)...
A. 22 November 2010: What DON'T we find sexy? ;-)
To answer all of your questions in one word. Yes. We find all those things sexy.
It's the whole package carefree. The whole package.... (read in full...)
We have totally different views on lying, who is right?
Q. How do I deal with this??? Me and my girlfriend are in mad love, and could probably make it if there weren't these issues. One is that we both have very different views on lying. I view lying as not very glamorous but a part of life, it...
A. 22 November 2010: Run dude! Run!!! Echo is dead on. After seeing your GF's post you need to get out of this toxic relationship. She needs clinical help.... (read in full...)
Should I move back in with my parents before she evicts me?
Q. I've been in a relationship for more than three years. We've had our share of bad moments but we've managed to move on so far. But now that I'm unemployed, I've started to question whether this is the woman I deserve. Near the beginning of our ...
A. 22 November 2010: Wow. Guess she gave you her answer. F her. She's a selfish bitch. Get your things together and move out ASAP. You don't need the horrible person in your life.... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has a baby on the way but is cheating on his gf with me!
Q. heres the deal; my ex boyfriend got a girl pregnant after they had been dating for only 4 months and it broke my heart because we were together for almost 5 yrs on and off. we were each others first true love but the reason we broke up was my fault. ...
A. 22 November 2010: History or not, why would you want to be with an asshole who cheats on his pregnant girlfriend?... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has a baby on the way but is cheating on his gf with me!
Q. heres the deal; my ex boyfriend got a girl pregnant after they had been dating for only 4 months and it broke my heart because we were together for almost 5 yrs on and off. we were each others first true love but the reason we broke up was my fault. ...
A. 22 November 2010: To steal a technique from a fellow aunt (sorry Tisha)...
Dear Cupid,
I'm pregnant and scared. I've only been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he's great, but I get the feeling that he's hiding something. He told me about his ex, and I th... (read in full...)
She won't talk to me. What should I do?
Q. I had a crush on a girl. Then my friends borrowed my laptop and found that I would take stolen pictures of her. Then they spread it round. Now the girl (we were good friends before she found out) won't talk to me. I feel like my world has collapsed ...
A. 22 November 2010: Ouch, some friends you've got there. *end sarcasm font*
You went from nice guy friend to stalker in her mind. I think you may need to write this girl a letter to explain yourself. Ideally you would talk to her, but since she won't talk to you, ... (read in full...)
Ho can I make my boyfriend last longer when giving oral sex?
Q. I usually suck my bf's penis almost everyday.My boyfriend's penis is almost 8" long.When i suck it he make out his cum within 1 minutes.How can i suck his penis for more time?...
A. 22 November 2010: Seriously, why can't I meet one of these girls? WTF.
Oh wait, you needed help. I was distracted by the whole daily blow job thing. fi the tree is right. Change things up. Go slower. Suck on his balls. Tease him some.
Basically, wh... (read in full...)
Why is she keeping this a secret?
Q. been dating my gf for 6 1/2 months and been living together for about a month. We are a typical couple and we fell in love about 2 months into the relationship maybe even a bit sooner. Anyways, as of recent I have noticed a change in my gf. Since ...
A. 22 November 2010: She could be looking at options. She could be serious. She could be fantasizing about going to school there. You'll never know unless you talk to her about it. Has she mentioned looking at grad schools? If she has, you can ask her if she's ... (read in full...)
Should I move back in with my parents before she evicts me?
Q. I've been in a relationship for more than three years. We've had our share of bad moments but we've managed to move on so far. But now that I'm unemployed, I've started to question whether this is the woman I deserve. Near the beginning of our ...
A. 22 November 2010: Maybe, if that will make you feel more comfortable. Really you need to talk to her about this. Tell her how it hurt you. She needs to know. This is the person who you've spent the last 3 years with, if you can't talk to her about this, then ... (read in full...)
For men: Is it physical or personality?
Q. I have a question for men and women. What do men find sexy, or what attracts them to a woman? Is it mostly physical, is it personality, etc...? ...
A. 22 November 2010: The sexiest girl I know isn't honestly that physically sexy at all by media standards, but I love her personality and the way we click. I'm not saying she's ugly by any stretch of the imagination though (although like most women she thinks she is). ... (read in full...)
Dependant on porn and worried about my fantasies
Q. I'm a 39 year old woman and a single mum. Not found a relationship that makes me happy and have become dependant on porn, but I feel sick with myself and this is the only place I feel I can share it without being judged. Problem is that when I surf ...
A. 22 November 2010: There is nothing wrong with you or how you're feeling. I think you need to focus on the fantasy of what you're watching instead of the reality of what the actors are doing. I fantasize about things I would never do in real life. That's part of ... (read in full...)
Online guy thinks I'm single, but I'm back now with my boyfriend, who doesn't know about online guy. Help!
Q. hello if anyone can help me i more than appreciate it. I have a boyfriend for the last 6 and half years. We've had our ups and downs and its been on and off lots of times. 2 months ago we decided to finish our relationship. I ended up...
A. 22 November 2010: Ups and downs, on and off, these are warning signs of things to come. Your relationship with you BF isn't going to work. You speak very highly of the online guy, so I would suggest ending things for good with you on again/off again BF and trying ... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 19 November 2010: Sorry I missed your follow up. I hope your conversation goes well today. If I had known the info you provided in the follow up I would have told you to cancel your meeting for today and walk away from this relationship for good.
Make up/break... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 18 November 2010: Yes. Save any conversation you're thinking about until Friday. It's good that he hasn't contacted you much for right now. Think about what you want out of your relationship and be prepared to discuss it on Friday.
I wouldn't jump to so many con... (read in full...)
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