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| Latest articles: Kids today indeed!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 July 2011: I made a joke the other day to my boyfriend, and while it was a little sarcastic and crass, it was true. Let me start this off by saying that this site is a wonderful thing, and I have recieved some very valuable advice from it. I've also been t...
Giving Myself Advice
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 March 2011: Lately, I've realized that using this site has given me a valuable tool. When I go to type a question, my mind wanders to what advice I would give if I stumbled across my question from someone else on this site. From those thoughts, I've b...
First Time Blues
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 February 2011: I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
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Why did I bleed after sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time a couple of days ago. I have had sex before, but haven't for more than a year, and the guy was smaller than my boyfriend and didn't go as deep or for as long. The next day, I was bleeding, kind o...
A. 19 September 2011: Thank you for your answers. I ended up calling a clinic, and she told me it wasn't uncommon. I was kinda worried for a bit there! She said he might be "poking my cervix" or tearing something, especially since he's larger than my first partner. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has disgusting habits, will he ever stop? Everything else about him is good
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for several years and live together. For the most part it's been smooth sailing. Then we moved to a big city a few months ago, which made me germaphobic and him less careful about things. I don't know what to ...
A. 18 September 2011: I think it will. Best of luck!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has disgusting habits, will he ever stop? Everything else about him is good
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for several years and live together. For the most part it's been smooth sailing. Then we moved to a big city a few months ago, which made me germaphobic and him less careful about things. I don't know what to ...
A. 8 September 2011: Ahh, I see. After reading your furhter information this all makes a little more sense.
Well, you said you don't think you can stay with him if he;s going to act like this, and you said he isn't likely to change due to his asperger's. You should a... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to live separately but not break up. Am I being selfish resisting this change?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in our mid-40's and have been going together for just over a year and a half. We've been living together for the last 6 months. She told me last month that after the year lease is up on our rental house that she wants us t...
A. 28 August 2011: First thing is, just because you have separate places doesn't mean you can't have sleep overs. I'm sure you two will still spend a lot of time together if this happens.
Secondly, you need to tell her about these feelings. You need to have an ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has disgusting habits, will he ever stop? Everything else about him is good
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for several years and live together. For the most part it's been smooth sailing. Then we moved to a big city a few months ago, which made me germaphobic and him less careful about things. I don't know what to ...
A. 28 August 2011: That's pretty horrifying. I really don't think you're wrong about being uncomfortable about this.
Was it this extreme from the start, or did it get progressively worse? If it got progressively worse, he might be reacting ot you. Did you see him ... (read in full...)
Do I support her in her wish to work in the porn industry? OrI find reasons to help her decide against it?
Q. She says she wants to do porn.. my fiance is a very beautiful woman however due to her past (abusive mother and a father who was never there) she has almost no self esteem and because of that was often taken advantage of by men when she sought l...
A. 28 August 2011: You asked what the pros and cons of porn are. The pro she says she's looking for is the money. However, because she comes from an abusive background, she is also probably looking for the rough, disrespectful treatment she will recieve from doing ... (read in full...)
Lack of intimacy with my boyfriend is really hurting....
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I'm a very physical person, he's not. that presents a problem. He will not have sex with me for a variety of excuses, the most commonly used one is he's afraid to get me pregnant (I'm on...
A. 6 August 2011: I've wondered if this will change after I turn 18. It might.
We talked about this and I feel a lot better now. it'll happen I suppose. It's not like I don't still really want it to happen, but he's trying really hard to make me feel beautifu... (read in full...)
Onesided sex life
Q. Okay over the last 5 days me and my girl have become sexually active. Now we both were virgins so when have to take it slow when it comes to actually have sex because i end up hurting her which i comepletly understand. The thing that i really dont ...
A. 6 August 2011: This is how sex complicates things. I understand how you feel, but there are a couple of things you should think about when it comes to this.
You said yourself that she doesn't like sucking you. Honestly, I don't blame her. Giving blowjobs... (read in full...)
Should I consider us over?
Q. The guy I've been seeing for the past 3 months has been kind of distant. I moved to a new city for work. Now I'm about an hour away and we haven't really had the break up talk. He doesn't pick up calls and he doesn't answer texts reliably. I ...
A. 2 August 2011: I would definitely consider the relationship over with. The way I would bring this up is by being blatant. If he won't answer his phone, leave a message stating that you understand the relationship is over, but you feel you deserved the respect of ... (read in full...)
I think he discussed me not giving him a blowjob with his friend, does this mean he was just using me?
Q. Im a sixteen year old girl, and hes a few months younger than me. But he goes on like hes a lot older because of the company he keeps. And i know all his best friends as theyre my friends also. I was kinda with this guy for a few months, but we ...
A. 30 July 2011: it could mean he was using you. It could also mean he was being an immature guy. All people have to learn when to keep their mouths shut. Maybe he hasn't yet, but he certainly knows you're upset with him.
The thing that draws my attentio... (read in full...)
My friend is WAY too clingy and is getting on my nerves! What do I do??
Q. Hi, Basically, I have a friend that I've been studying with this past summer, since we are both taking the same summer class. He'd ask me to study a lot, and I would be fine with that at first, since it would force me to study. However, I'm st...
A. 30 July 2011: Have you tried telling him that he's smothering you? The guy is probably just lonely. Maybe no one puts up with him for long because he acts like this, so he doesn't have many friends?
Just tell him that you really enjoy studying with him, but... (read in full...)
Does he like me? Or am I getting "played"?
Q. There's this guy. I like him and we hooked up when we were drunk. Instead of us becoming awkward though, we started talking more and got to know each other. I've told him before that I think he was a "player" but after a lengthy discussion, I took ...
A. 27 July 2011: It seems like you're handling yourslef well.
Keep avoiding anything like a friends with benefits situation. I suppose casual dating would be all right, but even that is setting yourself up for pain because he'll be with other girls as well as ... (read in full...)
How do I talk about sex with a man who was sexually abused by his father?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am dating a guy that told me he had been sexually abused by his dad. I knew he didn't have a great relationship with his family, but he brought it up in a strange context. We were in bed after he had stopped me from going down on ...
A. 27 July 2011: He most likely has a very negative association with sex.
I know that sounds like a big "DUH!" but really, think about it. Sex was used on him as a weapon of torture. He proabably has never learned that it can be anything else for him. He knows yo... (read in full...)
I'm a VIRGIN and I don't deny it!
Q. Hello there! Ok I seem to be so confused! Im in highschool and in the words of other people im ''a trip, funny, popular, cute, pretty, fine ,curvy, athletic, confident, independent, smart, loyal'' i was even nominated most outgoing and most ...
A. 27 July 2011: If he's a 13-15 year old guy, he's probably too immature to be in a realtionship. If that's the case, give him a couple years to grow up.
Another possiblility is that he likes playing with girls, in which case, don't give him the time of day unle... (read in full...)
I was mad and cheated on her, but now her family and friends hate me.
Q. My ex and I got into a fight while we were still dating and I was mad and cheated on her. I felt horrible and told her about it the very next day. She was mad and we broke up. A few weeks later we got back together and I cheated again. This all ...
A. 27 July 2011: Man. That's gotta be hard. Now hopefully you know that infidelity when you're angry only makes the problem worse. I'm kind of wondering why you're dating this girl if you've been able to cheat on her, repetitively in the past. Are you sure you want ... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 24 July 2011: You've recognized that there is a problem. Good!
Ok, so, first off, kids lie. It's sad but true. You are just about done being a kid, so it's obviously time to stop, and what's good is that you already know that. Try on your own telling nothing ... (read in full...)
How can I squirt when I climax?
Q. I've seen porn and couldn't help but notice that some girls on there squirt while they orgasm. They squirt sometimes through the clit and sometimes through their vaginal hole. I'm still a teen and a virgin so I don't know how I can do this. I've ...
A. 24 July 2011: Generally a squirting orgasm comes from G-Spot stimulation. The G-Spot is the feel good spot inside of you, vs. the external spots like the clitoris.
Not all women squirt, so you may not be the squirt type. That's perfectly ok, and hey, less to ... (read in full...)
Because of my past my girlfriend thinks I'm a "monster waiting to happen"
Q. The other day, me and my soon to be wife were talking, she thought I've been acting weird since we was dating when it came to sex and just now decided to ask me about it, of course I didn't want to tell her the reason why, It's something I haven't ...
A. 24 July 2011: It may have been that she was looking for a reason to back out. Maybe she just wasn't ready for the commitment. You guys are super young, so I wouldn't be surprised. Another option is she didn't want to deal with it. It kind of sucks, but it's her ... (read in full...)
Psycho boyfriend broke up with me, stiffed me for money, now sends email to brother worried about my mental health? huh?
Q. Why is my ex-boyfriend of three years contacting my brother asking about me? He dumped me nine months ago. To say it was an ugly break-up is an understatement. He left me in a callous manner(at a destination wedding for my best friend). I was so ...
A. 24 July 2011: I really respect you for just wanting him gone. That's really big of you to just say screw it. It's like when people who are divorced keep dragging each other through lawsuits to make the other miserable. All they're succeeding in doing is making ... (read in full...)
I'm Tired of Being my Mother's Mother
Q. My mom is bipolar, and I've been trying to take care of her since before I can remember. My dad was a workaholic, so he was never home to do it. About 3 years ago, he started trying to rejoin the family. Now, he takes care of her, like he should, ...
A. 23 July 2011: She is on medication. They recently upped it and she's doing better, but she's still weird when I go out. I'm not sure if that's ever gonna get better.
It's partially my fault because I had been happy just being at home for 15 years, and then sud... (read in full...)
I don't think he's gay, but he kissed me on the lips. Why?
Q. hey, i've been hanging out with this guy recently and stuff, and a few days ago he kissed me. i'm not gay, at least I don't think i am. I don't think he is either, he's jokingly called people 'f**king fairies' and such. and it was weird he ...
A. 21 July 2011: Did he just kiss you and then act normally? Maybe he was just curious?
It's hard to say why he'd do that. If I were you, I'd just ask him about it next time you had some time alone with him. He did a confusing thing, so I doubt he'd mind you aski... (read in full...)
Could he change his mind? he's told me he does not have feelings for me now.
Q. I've always been close to this guy at school, we were like best friends and for a while we developed feelings for each other... After summer vacation he changed, he was more hostile and quiet. He kept secrets and wasn't himself. Now he's almo...
A. 21 July 2011: I think, at least for now, that this guy has made it clear that he just wants friendship. He's at the age where he doesn't really know what to do with himself when it comes to girls. Give him time to figure that out!
Try not to hurt for him beca... (read in full...)
He's uncomfortable around girls, but we have to work together, how can I help him?
Q. I'm best friends with this guy and he says he feels really awkward around girls (even me to an extent) but you'd never know it. I really want us to meet up in summer because we are doing a project which means we would have to meet up at mine or his ...
A. 21 July 2011: Call him on it. Tell him you feel like he is avoiding working with you and ask why. Try not to be accusatory and be really gentle when you ask him this.
If he doesn't really say much when you ask, tell him you understand if he feels a little a... (read in full...)
Does she like me? How do I know for sure?
Q. I think this girl likes me since she always hangs out with me around the house (she lives next door) and when we're with friends she always talks alone to me and smiles a lot (and flirts a little) but when I asked her is she wants to come to the ...
A. 21 July 2011: It sounds like she's unsure of what she wants. You guys are neighbors, so she's possibly afraid to make things awkward or ruin the friendship.
I would suggest you either just keep things at a friendship level and look for other girls, or, you ... (read in full...)
I am still madly in love with him
Q. I'm only sixteen, but when I was growing up as a child, I was always around my older brother (who is now 20) and his friends. I grew up with one of his bestfriends, Josh (who is now 19). Me and my brother had been living at my grandparents, and ...
A. 17 July 2011: Oh man. I had a very similar thing happen to me.
What you're feeling is hard, I know. You've got a couple things going on right now.
One of them is the fact that this guy is probably the first guy you've ever really gotten serious at all w... (read in full...)
He told his friend he wanted a break but didn't tell me!
Q. I have a boyfriend...we been together a year...just the other day i confronted him about one of him and his females friends n how he be talking to her...he called her "sweetums" and he never called meh that...at least i cant recall. i felt kinda bad ...
A. 17 July 2011: Firstly, don't you tell your friends things about him when you're frustrated? People talk it out with their friends and say all the raw stuff they need to out. Some of it isn't really even legit, it's just the anger or the emotions talking.
The n... (read in full...)
I feel like telling them all the truth about their partners!
Q. I used to never care and never get angry. Now everything irrtates me. I can't stand half of my friends. I used to be chill and let people act however they wanted, but now I just don't care. I'm actually revangful now. Kind of feel like getting back ...
A. 17 July 2011: Well...that's a hard one. I wouldn't blame you if you did, honestly. But do you really want to cause pain? Even if people are pissign you off? Would it maybe be better to just remove yourself from these people who are being shitty?
On the othe... (read in full...)
How do I prove to her that I do trust her?
Q. how can i get through to my gf that i do trust her? my gf says i give vibes of not trusting her. she says i don't trust her because im not ready to give her my cc info and car insurance info for rental cars or hotel reservations, i don't want her ...
A. 17 July 2011: No offense to previous posters, but don't sink in to playing her games, like making her question if you're cheating on her. You've already said that isn't what you want to do.
You're intuition is telling you something. You don't have trust is... (read in full...)
Psycho boyfriend broke up with me, stiffed me for money, now sends email to brother worried about my mental health? huh?
Q. Why is my ex-boyfriend of three years contacting my brother asking about me? He dumped me nine months ago. To say it was an ugly break-up is an understatement. He left me in a callous manner(at a destination wedding for my best friend). I was so ...
A. 15 July 2011: His problem is, he can't get over it, and he has a very poor way of coping. His response is to attempt to make you think of him, and to make you as miserable as he is.
Ignore him! Don't respond to a single contact attempt. Tell your family t... (read in full...)
How do I prove to her that I do trust her?
Q. how can i get through to my gf that i do trust her? my gf says i give vibes of not trusting her. she says i don't trust her because im not ready to give her my cc info and car insurance info for rental cars or hotel reservations, i don't want her ...
A. 15 July 2011: Definitely getting very different vibes in this situation. anyone who would guilt you for refusing that kind of information is up to something. She seems to be trying to make it seem like YOU'RE wrong for for wanting privacy to draw attention away ... (read in full...)
I feel that a relationship revolving around drinking and spending the night in another girl's house is completely shady. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over 3 years. During a year-long break after 2.5 years of dating, he began to hang out with a group of girls, and continued to hang out with the same group of girls after we got back ...
A. 14 July 2011: This really doesn't seem like the right relationship for either of you. If he isn't going to listen when something is really important to you, he's not the right guy. ... (read in full...)
I feel that a relationship revolving around drinking and spending the night in another girl's house is completely shady. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over 3 years. During a year-long break after 2.5 years of dating, he began to hang out with a group of girls, and continued to hang out with the same group of girls after we got back ...
A. 13 July 2011: You're completely resonable, and this guy sounds like a jerk. Find someone who is intelligent and respectful instead of a guy who thinks it's more important to go get high than to have a relationship. ... (read in full...)
Kids today indeed!
Q. I made a joke the other day to my boyfriend, and while it was a little sarcastic and crass, it was true. Let me start this off by saying that this site is a wonderful thing, and I have recieved some very valuable advice from it. I've also been t...
A. 13 July 2011: Unfortunately. I just don't get it...generally it's painful and/or humiliating, as well as unsatisfying and short.
Yet, we're stupid. Everyone has to go re-invent the wheel. I know I did. Fortunately, I take people's advice now on things instead ... (read in full...)
I thought it was normal to masturbate?
Q. so the other day i was playing never have i ever with my friends. we are all 15 and we are like the more popular girls in school. a few have them have had sex and everyone else has been fingered. anyways someone said "never have i ever mastraba...
A. 13 July 2011: It's normal, they all do it and were thinking the exact same thing you were thinking. Trust me.
Having sex at 15? Not so much. Hopefully those girls haven't really had sex and are just saying so, because sex that early can really mess you up. ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure and not sure about my boyfriend, also my ex is back in the picture!
Q. i love ma bf but i feel too insecure :( iM not as good looking as all the other girls. now a days the perfect girl has to be skinny and pretty im not skinny nor fat :( im in between :) well what can i do to not feel so insecure? :( my bf hates it ...
A. 13 July 2011: If your boyfriend says he loves you exactly the way you are, don't doubt it. In fact, ask him to tell you things he loves about you. If he asks you why, tell him it's because you want to see yourself as he sees you. think about the things he says ... (read in full...)
Am I handling this mutual breakup right? I miss him so much.
Q. We just broke up a week ago. We are both 23 and he is my first boyfriend and I am his second girlfriend. We have been dating for 3 years and to the day we broke up we were still best friends and very civil to each other and still inlove. It was a ...
A. 13 July 2011: I don't see why it has to end just because you guys aren't ready to plan a future. Why can't you just enjoy being together now and let life take its course? If you are both miserable and didn't want to break up, why did you? Simply because he wasn't ... (read in full...)
He misunderstood my texts and now wants to break up with me!
Q. On Monday Fourth of July, I sent my bf of 8mths. a text saying I was drinking at a friends house and that her bf was there. So my bf thought right away that I was cheating that I was with a friend of my friends bf. But the thing is it was a joke I ...
A. 13 July 2011: Let it go. Both of you are obviously tired of the relationship, which you mentioned was long distance. You've learned a lesson, so, take it with you into your next relationship, and don't make stupid mistakes again.
Try once more to apologiz... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 13 July 2011: No, it's really not possible to have a mistress without ruining everything. If you have any sort of concience or love for your wife, your time spent with both women will be guilt ridden and joyless.
How would you feel if you found out your wif... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 9 July 2011: I've had a situation like this. If you act on this desire, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
You have a home, a family, and a wife you love. Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING, is worth throwing that away for. I strongly urge you, as a dau... (read in full...)
How do I ask him (again) how he sees me without scaring him off?
Q. Okay so I met this really cute guy a few weeks ago while we were both working at a Trade show in L.A. I thought he was cute, but also didn't think he'd go for me. He ended up asking me out and our first date was super fun. He was constantly ...
A. 9 July 2011: It kind of seems like he already told you:
He doesn't want to rush into a relationship, but he does want to get to know you and keep hanging out with you.
What I would do in this situation is keep hanging out with him, keep getting closer, ... (read in full...)
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