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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 4 January 2011: Thanks for the follow up. I think he just thinks all of this stuff is funny. He seems to like playing around with that topic. He's not a player, because he doesn't have game...
It's his loss, and while you may like him, you don't need his... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 19 December 2010: "so you think that he's interested in hooking up with me that night?If it is true,then he's pathetic.Do you mean that all he wants is just sex after we had a 9-hour skype conversation(normal conversation)?!"
Of course he's interested in hooking ... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 16 December 2010: act-casual, I personally have no problems with a teacher student friendship. I've actually known quite a few teachers who mentor in this fashion and there was absolutely no doubts that the relationship was professionally casual. As long as that's ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 16 December 2010: Hi again OP,
Ok, I think you said something important in your last follow up.
"He sometimes acts like a baby,but he sometimes acts like a MAN,especially when it comes to some serious matters..."
What this tells me is that he doesn't consider... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: Haha, he'll always be single too if he keeps acting like this!
Honestly, you may like him, but his childish ways will get old really fast. You're likely much better off without him in your life. How could you have a serious conversation with him... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 13 December 2010: Thanks for the follow ups. He's missed out. He hasn't responded to you so it's time to move on. He doesn't deserve you anyway. He doesn't seem llke he takes anything seriously and then when there are serious consequences he gets scared. His ... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 8 December 2010: Hey anon, we're not saying teachers never flirt. We're saying that much of that behavior that's interpreted as flirting is actually just the teacher taking that mentorship role and having their actions interpreted by a crushing teen as flirting. ... (read in full...)
Should my best friend tell her parents that she is going to stay at her boyfriend's house?
Q. sick of them going on about it . all my friends keep going on about my best friends boyfriend .and how she needs to tell her parents the truth but to be quiet honest why should she tell them she is going her bf's when they don't agree on her seei...
A. 7 December 2010: Suuuuuuuurrrre they haven't. I've got a great deal for you too. I know this Nigerian millionaire who is fleeing his country and he need people to stash his money for him. I can hook you two up. He'll even give you a cut for helping!... (read in full...)
My friend gave me oral sex but I'm not sure if it was cheating
Q. Hey agony aunts. I've been feeling really guilty lately because i don't know if i've cheated on my girlfriend or not. last week i was staying over at a friend's house. This is the first time i've ever dated a girl so i was worried about how to give ...
A. 7 December 2010: Yup, that's called cheating alright.
Time for a life lesson. The only person who can tell you how to please your partner is your partner. What works on you might not work on her. Only she can guide you in how to give proper oral to her.
... (read in full...)
Phys Ed teacher flirting with me?
Q. I have a new Phys Ed teacher and i think he is flirting with me? He says to me are you wearing contacts i said no, he then says wow you have very nice eyes i said urm thanks and walked away. Then he keeps coming up to my table-tennis table and ...
A. 7 December 2010: Something he shouldn't be. If what he is doing makes you uncomfortable then you should report him to the principal. Make sure he keeps things professional. I wouldn't call this flirting, but it's borderline.
If you are uncomfortable with wha... (read in full...)
Texting her ex...Damn technology
Q. So My question is pretty simple; so me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 months. We both just got out of longer term relationships of 3 years and we are very happy in the relationship we have now. The problem is she always is texting ...
A. 7 December 2010: OP, ultimatums don't work in relationships. Sorry Jessypj, but they really don't.
Relationships are about compromise. Ultimatums aren't compromise, they are "My way or the highway." If you issue an ultimatum, be prepared to set off down tha... (read in full...)
Should my best friend tell her parents that she is going to stay at her boyfriend's house?
Q. sick of them going on about it . all my friends keep going on about my best friends boyfriend .and how she needs to tell her parents the truth but to be quiet honest why should she tell them she is going her bf's when they don't agree on her seei...
A. 7 December 2010: All you meanies... Let love reign I say! She won't need the GCSE's when she gets pregnant in a couple months at the rate she's going. Then she can live with him when her parents kick her out. Then they can raise their love baby together. Until ... (read in full...)
Texting her ex...Damn technology
Q. So My question is pretty simple; so me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 months. We both just got out of longer term relationships of 3 years and we are very happy in the relationship we have now. The problem is she always is texting ...
A. 7 December 2010: I think the fact that it's her ex that she's texting does play into how you're feeling about this.
Your best bet to avoid conflict here is to talk this out. Tell her that it bothers you how much she texts with her ex. That you understa... (read in full...)
I want to marry him but he has other girl friends! What should I do?
Q. i love a boy ....want to marry him ..but it seems like he dont cares for me and have other girl frinds, what should i do ??? help me please...
A. 7 December 2010: You could all be his wives. After all, he's not likely to want to give any of you up.... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend is so hot and cold it's confusing the heck out of me!
Q. So I have had a few posts on here about my ex girlfriend. I ignored her for a week, and she started to text me more and more when I had dissapeared from her life. I answered one text last night and we had a short conversation and it went...
A. 6 December 2010: Yes it is. So why is it that I hear you got in a fight with her new boyfriend at that party you mentioned? Was that finally what it took?
... (read in full...)
I need to forget him!
Q. I've been with my bf for 9 months but we broke up last month and i cant forget about him! I've tried everything i could think of like going out with other guys but it only made me feel worse.. I seriously can't forget about this guy. Were also not ...
A. 6 December 2010: Properly grieve the relationship. That means go through the stages and give it time. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Things like this take time to get over. It takes time and energy. Don't expect it to happen over night.
... (read in full...)
What should I do? Letting her go is not an option.....
Q. knew her for 2 weeks for now and i love her and she loves me to we had a date and we should have the other date monday where she invited me but i don't feel the same way she is the girl that i wanted for a long time but now at first i loved he...
A. 6 December 2010: So let me get this straight because your post was incredibly difficult to read.
You went on one (1) date with a girl who is in a relationship. She says she's not happy but doesn't leave him either, so therefore she is cheating on her boyfrien... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 6 December 2010: Judging love has absolutely nothing to do with this. I know I'm preaching to someone who won't listen, but this all boils down to legality and morality. It's the same reason why there was an investigation into Pres. Clinton when Monica gave him a ... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: I hate that yes veiled as a no. That's part of the reason why I make sure I tell women I'm getting intimate with that. Basically, "I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with. I won't push you so please stop me if I start going too ... (read in full...)
He tries to cover up his erection!
Q. hi, every time me and my boyfriend hug he gets a erection but when he does he moves away from me.like we're on the sofa cuddling and he just moves away from me i don't want him to keep moving away from me evey time why'd he do tha? what should i say ...
A. 6 December 2010: I can't add anything, but I just wanted to say that Odd's gave a great reply on this one. I second everything he says. ... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: There is no delicate way to say this. It sounds like when you tried the delicate approach it didn't work out so well.
Honestly, I wouldn't waste anymore time with him. He's shown what he's after and this will be a constant battle for you. Is... (read in full...)
He hit me! Did I deserve it?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and a half. I have a 7 month old child with him. I just moved into my own condo. He does not live with me due to his alcoholism. I was at his house visiting him and watching the football ...
A. 6 December 2010: You're both in the wrong, but he's more so in the wrong. Honestly I suggest you press charges and have him arrested. He belongs in jail for this.
I also suggest you get some anger management therapy for you. Him calling you nasty names was wron... (read in full...)
What can I do to rekindle my sex life?
Q. I am 35 just got married to the same person i've been with for the past 17 years. i've lost my interest in sex what can i do to rekindle my sex life....
A. 6 December 2010: Do you have any fantasies? What did you used to like? What turns you on? Do you get turned on? Have you talked to your husband? Is the romance still there? Do you have kids together? How often did you used to have sex? Does he still initiate ... (read in full...)
We took a break for him to be sure I am the one, and he slept with so many women! Now we are back together he doesn't trust me, what do I do?
Q. We took a break for ten months just so that he was sure i am the one wants to spend the rest of his life with but now i have changed as i am pissed and hurt because he slept with so many women now we are together and he says he doesnt trust me.... ...
A. 6 December 2010: "but e reason v both cant let go is we dont feel the same with anyother and we have an emotional relationship so im very lost and we both were vergins wene we had sex for the first time"
I'm assuming this was you OP. You were both virgins.... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 6 December 2010: I can't rule out either. He may just want sex, but he may be using the "sexually" thing to play off the joke, or break the discomfort of the actual question. I think you need to stop looking to other's analysis of the situation and take matters in ... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 6 December 2010: If you have a teacher in High School, make a vow to not tell them until after you finish COLLEGE! If you still have your crush by then, go for it. Nobody can rightfully call you a kid under their influence anymore.
I don't get what's so hard to ... (read in full...)
We took a break for him to be sure I am the one, and he slept with so many women! Now we are back together he doesn't trust me, what do I do?
Q. We took a break for ten months just so that he was sure i am the one wants to spend the rest of his life with but now i have changed as i am pissed and hurt because he slept with so many women now we are together and he says he doesnt trust me.... ...
A. 6 December 2010: Maybe it's best if you aren't together then. If the trust is gone, then the foundation of the relationship has fallen apart. If you ask me, that's some shady behavior on his part. While it isn't "technically" wrong what he did, it still doesn't ... (read in full...)
How effective is the pull out method?
Q. How effective is the pull out method? We have sex without contreception and we have been using this method for over a year now. And I still have not got pregnant. But how much of a chance could there be that I could get pregnant?...
A. 5 December 2010: Then you're very lucky. Time to buy a lotto ticket!... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend trying to manipulate me as if I did something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend did something innapropriate. He flirted with another woman. He specifically asked me not to flirt with other men. I approached him about it, first he tried to act like he was joking, then he blatantly lied about it. But he never ...
A. 4 December 2010: Valid point Jmtmj. I'm trusting that because the OP and her SO have discussed this before, with him telling her what he doesn't like her doing, she is assuming these rules apply to him as well. It's true that it is never out right stated what he ... (read in full...)
It's me and our unborn baby or moving to Texas to be with your 4 other kids!
Q. ok so as stated in an early question. i am currently 27 weeks pregnant. i live with the father although we are no longer a couple. but we act very much like a couple and he still calls me his girlfriend to family and friends. i just call him my kids ...
A. 4 December 2010: While you may feel like you belong together, I'm not sure he feels the same way. In fact, I'm quite sure he wouldn't agree with that statement. If that were the case, you would still be a couple and the thought of leaving you and your baby ... (read in full...)
Revealing too much at the swimming pool
Q. There is this girl at the gym who wears a bathing suit that is way too revealing! It only covers half of her breasts and only a quarter of her ass. It is almost seethru, and she always has T.H.O.'s. She makes a point to walk slowly around the pool ...
A. 3 December 2010: I love learning new things! Thanks Cerberus! THO goes on my list too.... (read in full...)
Why can't I keep eye contact with girls?
Q. Ok, so for the first and second quarter of school ive been taking public speaking and one of the big things in that class is obviously eye contact. And i seemed to have noticed a problem that ive never realized before taking this class and im ...
A. 3 December 2010: Because you're a boy and not comfortable with it. Men typically communicate with very little eye contact. We sit at right angles or side by side and talk without facing each other. We talk while doing activities. We rarely speak to each other ... (read in full...)
Falling for someone I've never met
Q. This probably sounds very lame and I agree with you, it is. But I can't help it. I think I am starting to like-a lot- someone*wait for it* online. I don't know hwy or even how. Well I have a blog and even though I am a 16 year old it isn't full of ...
A. 3 December 2010: Why is it ridiculous? People meet online all the time. Is there something stopping you from proposing a meeting? Would you want to meet if he proposed it?
Really, the only problem I see is that of legal ages and what not.
Is there some reaso... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend trying to manipulate me as if I did something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend did something innapropriate. He flirted with another woman. He specifically asked me not to flirt with other men. I approached him about it, first he tried to act like he was joking, then he blatantly lied about it. But he never ...
A. 3 December 2010: Glad to help. Don't worry, it's not rude to thank someone!
An explanation about his actions. What he's doing is a power play. By putting this back on you, he is attempting to deflect his guilt. It's a useful manipulation tactic. He knows he... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend is so hot and cold it's confusing the heck out of me!
Q. So I have had a few posts on here about my ex girlfriend. I ignored her for a week, and she started to text me more and more when I had dissapeared from her life. I answered one text last night and we had a short conversation and it went...
A. 3 December 2010: Before I even get to your questions I can tell you why she doesn't want to be with you. It's simple. You're very insecure and smothering. You're not even together but you're texting her a million times a day and getting pissy when she's not all ... (read in full...)
Can we ever live my dream because he has a child with his ex?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now and he has a 3 year old daughter from his ex-wife. I am currently 20 years old with a year and half left of college and my boyfriend is 24 years old with a degree in the job he currently has at ...
A. 3 December 2010: In some way, shape, or form his ex will always be in your life. They share a child. There's no undoing that. No matter how much you may disagree with some of the stuff going on in his life, or how he or she parents their child, it's not your ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend trying to manipulate me as if I did something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend did something innapropriate. He flirted with another woman. He specifically asked me not to flirt with other men. I approached him about it, first he tried to act like he was joking, then he blatantly lied about it. But he never ...
A. 3 December 2010: You are absolutely doing the right thing by not contacting him. Don't cave! He screwed up, so he should come and apologize. You should never tolerate a double standard such as this.... (read in full...)
Guys, what do you like when looking at a gal?
Q. this is just for abit of fun really lol. I've never had a BF, and honestly aint that interested, but lately I've decided that I'm going to make abit more of an effort with my apperance/clothes etc etc. Then that got me wondering what guys actua...
A. 3 December 2010: I like a girl who dresses professionally. Maybe that's because I work in an environment where that is the dress code, but I think it makes them look more like a lady. Not a lot of makeup, but a little. Not showing much skin, but a little. Not ... (read in full...)
Revealing too much at the swimming pool
Q. There is this girl at the gym who wears a bathing suit that is way too revealing! It only covers half of her breasts and only a quarter of her ass. It is almost seethru, and she always has T.H.O.'s. She makes a point to walk slowly around the pool ...
A. 3 December 2010: Starved for attention, maybe an exhibitionism fetish. Doesn't really matter. Like Honeygirl said, don't look if you don't like it. Unless it goes against policy of the swimming pool there is little you can do.... (read in full...)
Are my boyfriend's actions justified?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 3 years now, and throughout the years we've had many fights about exes. He's always maintained friendships with his exes, but I have not. Its not that I hate my exes, its just that I don't think its healthy to ...
A. 3 December 2010: I think you should walk away. You're in an LDR that isn't working. Your feelings are justified, but so are his, and ultimately it does all come back to trust. It seems to me like the trust is gone.
A little story for you. My last GF still ha... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 3 December 2010: He's afraid to ask you out. That's why he's asked you multiple times if you liked him. If you told him yes in a serious way, he would likely ask you out or confess his feelings. He doesn't want to put himself out there, and uses the teasing to ... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: It will. With each bad experience we learn more about what to look out for. The warning signs. You'll never be free from hurt. Even in the best relationships fights happen and people hurt each other. But when you're with the right person you ... (read in full...)
Secrets to a successful LDR, anyone care to share tips?
Q. How do you maintain the spark in a LDR? I mean...if you don't get to meet often...how long can you survive and overcome the physical longing and loneliness?...
A. 2 December 2010: Most people can't do it. Only through regular visits can an LDR have any hope of survival.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thoughts-on-technology-and-long-distance-relationships.html
... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 2 December 2010: I'd be confused. I wouldn't be put off if a girl told me she liked me. BUT, if she said she liked me and then went cold toward me, I'd be confused and upset.
If you like him, there is no problem with you telling him. This isn't the 50's any... (read in full...)
What if he expects stuff from me? I'm still a virgin!
Q. me and my boyfriend are close and starting to develop a closer relationship. i am a virgin and i am pretty sure he has had sex before. this makes me nervous because what if he expects stuff from me and i have no idea what to do. i want to talk to ...
A. 2 December 2010: It is never right for him to expect anything of you. He should also not push you to do anything you're not comfortable with. That would be a big red flag and you should leave the relationship if he were to do that.
Honestly, I wouldn't say anyt... (read in full...)
Should I see what he has to say?
Q. A male friend or ex "fwb" you might call it, ended up sleeping together a few weeks ago. BIG mistake because he has a girlfriend. I spoke to him about it a few days later, and told him i felt like an idiot about what happened. He asked why, and i...
A. 2 December 2010: p.s. Why would you want to be friends with an ass hole who cheats on his girlfriend?... (read in full...)
She told me she was still in love with me but yet she starts seeing someone new a few days after our break-up!
Q. I was with my ex for a little over 2 years, when she broke things off with me 2 months ago. We had broken up once before, but decided to give it another try(which lasted a year) when she finally broke it off, she came in from work, kissed me and ...
A. 2 December 2010: Sure as she was very likely cheating. That's usually the case when someone hooks up so quickly after a break up. Really, you'll be mad, hurt, sad, in disbelief, and finally you'll accept it and move on. That was a horrible thing she did to you. ... (read in full...)
Should I see what he has to say?
Q. A male friend or ex "fwb" you might call it, ended up sleeping together a few weeks ago. BIG mistake because he has a girlfriend. I spoke to him about it a few days later, and told him i felt like an idiot about what happened. He asked why, and i...
A. 2 December 2010: No. His actions speak to his true intentions.
Read this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html
... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Sarcasm?!? ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 2 December 2010: Wow, lots of examples here. Sounds like you've got a thing for him.
That behavior is how boys in grade school show they like a girl. Maybe he hasn't matured since then. Some guys get a kick out of winding girls up. It sounds like he does. I... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: You want to know if she has the same feelings as you do. Ok.
1st) Tell her your feelings.
2nd) Ask, "Do you feel the same way about me?"
Make sure to slip in the phrase "fuck buddy." You saw how many of the women here agreed with me! Th... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: "if you love someone like he 'pretended' to love me, he wouldn't have been able to do it to me."
Bingo. Don't worry, he wasn't your last chance. I'm about the same age. It's been a little over a year since the break up I detailed below and I'm ... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: There you go, let it out. Have you had any support in getting through the grieving process? Losing a relationship like this is like losing someone because of death. It is death in a way. As such, we often go through the stages of grief. ... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Women just love being asked to be someone's fuck buddy. It's every little girl's dream that one day a handsome man will get down on one knee and say those magic words, "Will you be my fuck buddy?" They melt at the thought of it!
... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: You just need time to go through the grieving process. You'll heal, it will just take some time.
The reason he was able to move on so quickly is because he had made the decision to end things. Often, when someone decides to end things, they've ... (read in full...)
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