A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months (I've known him for years) but we havent had sex. I was with a guy before and we had done everything so it took time to adjust with my new boyfriend. I know this isn't what a relationship should be about but I really want to. I've done stuff to him...but he never does anything back and its really frustrating. I completely understand if he isn't ready to have sexual intercourse and I'm not going to leave him over something like that but would it be bad off me to ask him to use toys on me (like a vibrater or something) because it's hard going from everything to nothing. I'm not a sex addict either before anyone says that.I know I probably sound selfish but just need opinions really.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Does he know how to? Just because you done everything, doesn't mean he has. Is it a lack of will or a lack of knowledge. Makes a big difference.
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (23 November 2010):
 You haven't said if you've discussed with him that you would like him to do more to you, and what his reactions were to that, so I'm inclined to just encourage you to have a word, Your obviously not embarrassed around him, so just come out with it, and next time your making out, say, hey I would really like to feel you touch me, kiss me, here, here or here, show him how you like to be touched, chances are, he is too scared to do it off his own back, incase he messes up,I think if you hand him a vibrator and say give this a go, he is likely to feel inferior, as he is so inexperienced, once he is more confident, he'll no doubt be happy with that, but for now, I'd spend your time playing, and coaching him gently until he starts to take the initiative himself.
Good Luck
ps, When I say gentle coaching, I dont mean that your to educate him to your body all in one go, there is alot you can do to yourself while he is on one part, for example, if you have showed him how to caress your breasts, while he is doing that, touch yourself, he will see your body respond, and like what he see's and try to make you react that way, by copying.
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A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 That's really weird behavior.
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A
female
reader, Fail..  +, writes (23 November 2010):
i don't think it would be selfish of you to ask for toys or something to pleasure you. You said you've done stuff for him so why can't he do stuff for you? I mean that if you were planing to just have sex when you were both ready. Maybe you should just ask him if he wants to have sex yet?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Not selfish at all. Turn around is only fair play. You need to discuss this with your BF. Tell him what you're feeling. He may be uncomfortable with it for many reasons, and you'll never know those unless you talk about it.
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