| Latest articles: Women and Men: Being Equal
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 January 2011: When your in a relationship, either married or dating I think it is safe to say that equality in that relationship is a very good thing. I'm interested in seeing what everyone can come up with for equality points in a relationship. I'm not really ...
Lost puppy effect.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 September 2010: With a friend of mine going through a break up at the moment I have noticed the common behavior of her bf which I want to call the lost puppy effect. Some back ground on the situation is that she broke up with him and is moving on and going through ...
To break up or not to break up? That is the question.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 February 2010: This article is inspired by two friends of mine who are together in a relationship and its for all those men and women who think that they want to end their realationship but don't quite know yet. All relationships hit rocky patches where you have...
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Is it inappropriate for your boyfriend to hang out with other females one on one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. He is 30 and I am 21. We are currently trialling living together (I have not officially moved all my stuff in). We have a bit of an issue about friends of the opposite sex. I don't really have ...
A. 16 June 2014: Yes it is normal. I have friends both male and female and none of them would be ignored because of the relationship that I am in. It's hard to bring everyone up and there are some people that I do not see often at all. His behavior that you have ... (read in full...)
Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?
Q. Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?...
A. 12 July 2013: You can love multiple people at the same time with no love lost to anyone. The thing to consider here is not whether you are able to show love to two women but how they will feel about the situation. Even if you can give them both all that they want ... (read in full...)
Right person, Wrong time?
Q. Hey guys I have a question more for all of you. Is there such a thing as meeting the RIGHT person at the WRONG time. I met who I am pretty sure is the love of my life or at least I want him to be, 2 and a half years ago. We were in a long dist...
A. 25 June 2013: Yes yes yes! You can meet wonderful people at horrible times. If you two would have tried to start a relationship with so much distance it probably wouldn't have worked so although the decision was tough it was probably for the best. If I was in his ... (read in full...)
Has he a soft spot for me?
Q. Hye! There is a guy I really like. We met at the editorial meeting (o/t university magazine). We are both a member of the student council. My point is: we do not see each other that much now (as we both have exams), but I really like him. We '...
A. 17 January 2013: Awe, I think that is cute. I would say that yes he does have a soft spot for you. He sent you back something cute instead of just a "lol" or "haha" which isn't the same. He is also showing that he cares about what you have to tell him about your ... (read in full...)
To everyone on this site, and especially the person responsible for this website: Thank you
Q. This is for every single person on this website: I am glad to see that there are still caring people out in this cruel world. All of you are so caring of people you don't even know. People that may be miles and miles away from you. People that...
A. 17 January 2013: That's very sweet of you. It's people like you that keep everyone's spirits up. I know a lot of people put a lot of work in answering questions and work to keep this site running.
I'd like to say thank you for the post. ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty that I've stopped being a customer at a shop because of expenses?
Q. Should I feel guilty about this? For several years now I have got on very well with a local shop where I buy my lunch. They treat me like a daughter. But this year I need to conserve my money as I know I have some big expenses later this year....
A. 17 January 2013: It's understanding that you feel some sort of responsibility to them but I think they will understand. It sounds like they value you as a person more then a customer. Maybe next time you feel like a coffee you can stop in and say that you're trying ... (read in full...)
Married man curious about a tranny
Q. I have been married for there years. I have become very curious about transsexuals and think I might want to try having sex with one. I am curious what anal sex feels like. I don't know if that makes me a bisexual?. My wife caught me looking at ...
A. 17 January 2013: Be honest with your wife and tell her that you would like to experiment with anal play. It is not that uncommon and this may even strengthen your marriage. You don't want to bottle this up till your marriage falls apart when you have someone you ... (read in full...)
Guy I've been talking to has a girlfriend! What should I do?
Q. Well I have been talking to this guy for about 3 months now. We phone each other almost every night. He is really funny, kind and we share similar interests. I really enjoy talking to him and he says the same for me. Everything was great until ye...
A. 17 January 2013: If you are interested in dating then it is time to walk away from this. On the other hand if you want to be friends there is nothing saying that you can't do that. Keep in mind he may be looking to cheat but there is a chance that you two could end ... (read in full...)
My GF doesn't want to lose her virginity until we're married, but that won't be for 10 years! What can we do?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly a year. We both never had sex, we only experimented with foreplay etc.(Basically everything but just the most vital part, sex) She told me she will only be willing to do that once we get m...
A. 13 January 2013: There are really only two options for you and I have been in the same situation many times before. I'm currently single and surprising bring up sex fairly early on in dating because I know that I am not willing to wait till marriage for sex due to ... (read in full...)
Why do I get so angry with my boyfriend and say things I don't mean?
Q. Why do I get so mad at my boyfriend for no reason and say such hurtful things to him that I dont mean? I love him with all my heart I dont want to push him away from me. I can't seem to control my mouth when I get mad. He's really getting f...
A. 13 January 2013: I have definitely experienced your problem and what I found works the best is to force yourself to take a step back from the arguement and give yourself 10 or 15 min to calm down and think. Arguements are very natural but need to have thought put ... (read in full...)
Can or have men been able to stop using Porn once they meet the woman who is the 'ONE'?
Q. Is there any men here who stopped using porn once they found a girlfriend who they thought was the one? Am I just dreaming here or can this happen? I have read about this happening as soon as they started the relationship. ...
A. 13 January 2013: Tbh, there is very little connection between using porn and the relationship that the person is in. I mean it can happen but it should never be expected unless it is a problem such as the sex life of the couple decreases because of it. Do women stop ... (read in full...)
Do you think women have a more difficult time letting go?
Q. This is just a general question, but do you agony aunts find that girls have a harder time getting over exes than guys? Every girl I know has an ex who they still have a thing for if even in just a small way. I admit to still being attracte...
A. 17 July 2012: As a general answer I would say yes but that is because women are more open with their feelings where as guys tend to ignore it and partake in other activities. Both have difficulty letting go if the feelings were there but we associated crying and ... (read in full...)
I found out today the guy I'm seeing has twins on the way.
Q. Found out today the guy I'm seeing has twins on the way. Its a shock. I like him a lot but I feel like running and fast. He already has two! I have no kids and though I love them I have no desire to have them now or to be a stepmom honestly. I know ...
A. 17 July 2012: You're not a coward at all. Why should you have that responsibility put on you all for a guy that you are just dating. That is a lot for someone to handle when they are marrying the person never mind just dating them. He will most likely have some ... (read in full...)
Any ideas for my daughter's 16th birthday party?
Q. So my daughters 16th birthday is coming up in August and I don't know what to do for it I've read things on themes but she's not. Into stuff like that and we live in a small town so people aren't willing to do dances or anything formal...any ...
A. 16 July 2012: Why not do something outside possibly water related since I am assuming that it is hot there right now. Also you could do a variety of blended smoothie drinks (non alcoholic)and let everyone hang out with some music in the background. At 16 you ... (read in full...)
My ex-boyfriend is harrassing me! please help!
Q. Hey, I'm only 15 years old and my 17 year old ex- boyfriend is harrassing me. I ended the relationship just about a month ago for no mega dramatic reason but I just knew his wasnt for me, we had been together about a year and a half and now he's ...
A. 16 July 2012: Sorry to here about this. Friends of mine have definitely been in your situation before. You should definitely keep ignoring all of his messages. Don't reply to anything he sends you no matter what but save it in case things get worse and you need ... (read in full...)
Why does he look at pictures of him and his ex-wife?
Q. I'm an adult and has been very serious with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We both are divorced, him more recently, and I found that he has been looking at some pictures of them together from a few years ago that are on his computer. They are nice ...
A. 15 July 2012: Looking at pictures of past relationships doesn't mean that he isn't ready to move on. It's not quite the same but I still look at pictures from past relationships because they are still fond memories. That's the thing though, they are memories as ... (read in full...)
I want to spend time with my girlfriend minus her friends. How do I tell her?
Q. Hey everyone i really need your help. How do i go about tellin my girlfriend that i want to spend some time alone with her? Everytime we talk or try and spend some time together her friends always have to tag along even when we do not invite them. ...
A. 11 July 2012: Tell her exactly how you feel and that you want to have alone time with her. She also needs to know that if you are the one to tell her friends to leave you guys alone they will probably take it the wrong way. ... (read in full...)
Can anybody find me...somebody to love?
Q. I am a twenty seven year old lesbian. And still a virgin. I feel ashamed by this. I'm kinda shy and insecure, because I don't look like some of the lesbians that I see around where I live. It's depressing me, and I want to know if there are any...
A. 8 July 2012: I know this probably isn't what you were wanting to do but why not try online dating. If you make a good profile then people who are seriously interested in you will find you and you can filter through far more people that way. ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable that I don't want my son to lie in bed all day?
Q. At 2pm today I told my husband that he should go and tell my son that it was time to get up out of bed and he said "To Do What?" Am I unreasonable not to want him to lie in be all day? ...
A. 8 July 2012: I'm guessing your son is somewhere around age 15 and can sleep for 12 or 13 hours a day. I used to be able to do that when I was that age. I think your husband is right though. If you get him up he'll probably just lay around doing nothing anyway. ... (read in full...)
Can someone who previously used sexting live without it now?
Q. Hey, what do you think about the need for sexting? Me and my bf have been together 18 months, I know he sexted previous gfs and hook ups, even exchanging nude photos with one girl, but he doesn't do this with me :( He'll sometimes go as far as ...
A. 8 July 2012: Sexting is what you take when you don't have a real relationship like he does now. He has sex and a person in his life who he gets to see often and who he knows will be there for him. He doesn't need naked pics and dirty messages so he can get off ... (read in full...)
Is it true that girls my age are more attracted to guys who know how to drive and own a car?
Q. Recently I've felt pressured into learning to drive. Here in the UK you can learn at 17 and im currently 19. Quite a few of my friends can drive but I've never got round to learning, most of the places I go to in my spare time are local or I can ...
A. 8 July 2012: You should really learn to drive just in case the occasion calls for it even if you won't drive often. I would say that yes it is more attractive to a girl because it symbolizes more independence but it is not the only thing you can do. Most girls ... (read in full...)
How do I keep my boyfriend interested when I'm gone on holiday without him?
Q. I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks. My relatively new boyfriend isn't going with me. It's for two weeks and I'm a little worried that he'll lose interest when I'm not around. We haven't actually been too sexual with one another yet and I'm ...
A. 8 July 2012: Two weeks isn't that long to be gone, if he is going to lose interest in that short amount of time then he really isn't the guy for you.
It would be nice of you to plan a nice date for when you get back so that you two can spend some time toge... (read in full...)
I'm underweight and looking to gain weight... What should I do?
Q. I’m underweight. I’m 23 year old, male. My height is 5'9 feet/179 cm, weight 143 pounds/64 kg. I want to know how can I increase my weight? Which type of foods are good for me? Which types of exercises will help me? Can I join a gym? I feel I need ...
A. 8 July 2012: I'm in the same boat as you, same height and only a few pounds heavier. The best way to gain weight is to build muscle by doing slower lifting work outs and eat lots of healthy food full of proteins and vegetables. Peanuts are a good snack if you ... (read in full...)
After I tell a guy that my mom passed away, things go downhill. Why?
Q. My mum passed away a few years ago and although I feel I've come to terms with it and that my life has been able to move on for a couple of years now it seems to be giving me some issues. Whenever it inevitably come up with a guy and I have to ...
A. 7 July 2012: The thing that I am thinking about is what would I say in response to that. Being early on in a relationship I probably would just stutter and feel really awkward unless there was some relatable event. I understand that you are comfortable with it ... (read in full...)
I want my parents to accept my 34 year old boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a good several months now. I was over his place today and he was talking about meeting my parents. He never gave a specific date or anything but he was talking about doing it at some point. I just get worr...
A. 4 July 2012: Be honest with your parents and show them how happy you are with him. He will then be in charge of the rest in terms impressions and such. It really comes down to the fact that you are still two adults and if your have a happy relationship then your ... (read in full...)
What is hot?
Q. By watching TV and looking at magazines, you can tell what is attractive about attractive women (if you are a man anyway). Does this mean you can tell what is attractive about attractive men by watching TV and looking at magazines? Or is...
A. 24 June 2012: Hot is the expression used when someone immediately finds the person very physically attractive. In other word it is where at first glance, knowing nothing else about the person they turn you on. ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend irritated or jealous because of an sms?
Q. My bf and i have been together for 3 months and half. My bf saw i chat of me and a guy on facebook and he started acting weird saying im enjoying myself, im not thinking of him and i couldn't even send him sms. I was shock cuz it was the first time ...
A. 20 June 2012: I think this is leading to jealousy in a more extreme way. You shouldn't have a problem when it comes to guy friends of yours and if it is going to be such a big deal where your bf acts all hurt then it might be best to drop the relationship before ... (read in full...)
I accidentally found out that my daughter in law & family do not like me. What do I do now?
Q. This afternoon I had my 10 year old grandson (my son's son)and I took a wrong turn in the car at a junction. He panicked thinking we were going to his other grannys (his mum's mum). On gently questioning him he told me that it would be a bad idea ...
A. 20 June 2012: I would talk to your son and try to find out why. He is the only one you can really trust to talk to. If they are just going to hate you then there is really no reason to deal with them unless you have to. As long as you can see your grandson it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very religious, and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now, and although he was always religious, this past month he's gotten a little out of hand. He's 28 and I'm 25, and I guess you could say we're both looking for something serious. I grew up in a Catholic ...
A. 19 June 2012: You have gotten great advice here. Think about it this way. You are 5 months in and he is worrying you that much and lets be honest if he is that fanatical he may never look at you sexually other then a baby maker. He may be too extreme for you and ... (read in full...)
With a mobile is there a chance that your number may be set to private without you realising?
Q. I don't know whether people would know the answer to this one or not, but with a mobile is there a chance that your number may be set to private without you realising? Because this number has called me a few times and i reckon it's the guy who i ...
A. 19 June 2012: If a family member is police or government all of their numbers could be private. My question to you is why don't you answer the phone when someone is calling you over and over. There must have at least been one time where you were free to do so. ... (read in full...)
Is settling for someone who is lovely but is not "the one" ever right?
Q. hi there, the kind of man who would be perfect for me simply does not exist, for a lot of reasons. im sure of this. however i am currently with a man who loves me dearly and is wonderful. i just wonder if settling for someone who is lovely bu...
A. 19 June 2012: Personally I don't think you ever know who "the one" is until you have experienced life with them. He may be the one for you because he will be what you are looking for later in life. The one can change so often but in the end you have to decide ... (read in full...)
My ex and I slept together, but now he's ignoring me!
Q. We have been really good friends since college. Then he proposed me after breaking up with his girlfriend. I accepted his proposal and remained his gf for 6 months. Then I broke up with him becoz I had just friendly feeling for him. Recently we met ...
A. 17 June 2012: It sounds like he wanted to try things out to see if he felt anything for you or he just wanted to have sex with you again just for the sake of it. When I was single I hooked up with this girl I hadn't seen for about two years but we knew each other ... (read in full...)
My wife seems to be in love with her female best friend. Am I right to be jealous?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 18 years, together for 22 and have two kids. For the last half year my wife has been spending more and more time with one particular girlfriend (who is married with 2 kids and 15 years younger). They see each ...
A. 17 June 2012: I think you do have grounds to be jealous here because although she isn't cheating on you she is replacing her family with someone she finds more exciting. I would be hurt by this too. Everyone is intitled to having their own friends but that should ... (read in full...)
Husband masturbates to porn so much that he can't have sex with me
Q. my husband prefers watching porn to watching me.he doesnt bath with me anymore and spends the whole day downloading porn videos and the whole night watching and masturbating.he cant keep his erection anymore and each time after sex(thats when he ...
A. 16 June 2012: This is a case where porn is the problem. It sounds to me like he needs addiction conseling because what he is doing is feeding his addiction. Tell him how you feel first, all of how you feel just as you have told us here. ... (read in full...)
Since she starte taking the depo shot my g/f is no longer interested in sex
Q. My girlfriend of 3years has just started taking the Depo shot for birth control a couple months ago, and ever since then app closeness and intamacy is gone, literally!.....every time I put my arm around her she shrugs it off, or when I just place my ...
A. 13 June 2012: I would say that definitely has to do with the hormones in the shot because that is the only thing that has changed. Tell her that you have noticed the change and want to work together to find a solution before it becomes a problem. Other then that ... (read in full...)
2 times tried to have sex, 2 times failed. Is it the condom?
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I are both virgins and we've been together about 4 months. We've tried to have sex twice now, and had the following problems. We are using condoms by the way. 1. He can't stay hard. I've given him handjobs before without t...
A. 13 June 2012: His nerves are getting to him and that is all it is. There isn't much you can do except get him really turned on so that he stays hard enough to enter you and realizes that he doesn't have to worry so much. ... (read in full...)
Will this guy tell everyone that I don't shave down there?
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old. The guy is also 18, he is my friend's friends and we got introduced to each other a few weeks ago. He fingered me today in the morning, I enjoyed it but I wasn't expecting to do anything so I wasn't shaved down there. Th...
A. 12 June 2012: Personally I don't like it when it is left natural but I also keep myself well groomed so things are always far. That doesn't mean all guys don't and if he likes you at all he won't mention a thing and it will not matter to him. If he is just using ... (read in full...)
Will I be judged as a bad person if I go 'no contact' with my parent?
Q. Just wondering, is it better to honor a parent that usually has nothing positive to say about your life, and usually puts you down about your appearance, your home, your way of handling finances, raising your child etc. Or just to go cold turkey and ...
A. 11 June 2012: I would let them know that the way they are talking to you is unacceptable and you aren't going to put up with it any longer. If it continues then I would stop talking to that person until I got an apology. Just because the person is a blood ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. Hi everyone, need some opinions on wether I am being unreasonable in this situation or not. Ok so I live at home with my mum step dad and younger sister, I go to my dads who lives at the other side of town once to twice a week. There is my dad step ...
A. 10 June 2012: My advice here is that you should keep your friends. They are more important than even years of a relationship because true friends will be there even if you treat them like crap over this boy and then things go bad. I've been there on that one ... (read in full...)
Dating and together for eight months now. How do I break this news to my father?
Q. im 16 and have been dating my bf (17). for 8 months now and i just found out and only me and my bf knows. i love him so much and he says he is gonna b there for me and i know he will but my question is ..... how do i tel my parents? i just know my ...
A. 10 June 2012: This sounds like a pregnancy question to me although it doesn't mention it anywhere. Why not invite your bf to have dinner with you and your parents. That generally shows that he is more then a friend. Then just bring him around more and more and ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. Hi everyone, need some opinions on wether I am being unreasonable in this situation or not. Ok so I live at home with my mum step dad and younger sister, I go to my dads who lives at the other side of town once to twice a week. There is my dad step ...
A. 10 June 2012: Since when does your bf or gf being sick mean that the other one isn't allowed to go out. That means that you should have no issue when you say you are going out with your friends then. You are not being unreasonable at all. Why is it that he is all ... (read in full...)
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