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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 4 January 2011: Thanks for the follow up. I think he just thinks all of this stuff is funny. He seems to like playing around with that topic. He's not a player, because he doesn't have game...
It's his loss, and while you may like him, you don't need his... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 19 December 2010: "so you think that he's interested in hooking up with me that night?If it is true,then he's pathetic.Do you mean that all he wants is just sex after we had a 9-hour skype conversation(normal conversation)?!"
Of course he's interested in hooking ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 16 December 2010: Hi again OP,
Ok, I think you said something important in your last follow up.
"He sometimes acts like a baby,but he sometimes acts like a MAN,especially when it comes to some serious matters..."
What this tells me is that he doesn't consider... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 14 December 2010: Haha, he'll always be single too if he keeps acting like this!
Honestly, you may like him, but his childish ways will get old really fast. You're likely much better off without him in your life. How could you have a serious conversation with him... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 13 December 2010: Thanks for the follow ups. He's missed out. He hasn't responded to you so it's time to move on. He doesn't deserve you anyway. He doesn't seem llke he takes anything seriously and then when there are serious consequences he gets scared. His ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 6 December 2010: I can't rule out either. He may just want sex, but he may be using the "sexually" thing to play off the joke, or break the discomfort of the actual question. I think you need to stop looking to other's analysis of the situation and take matters in ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 3 December 2010: He's afraid to ask you out. That's why he's asked you multiple times if you liked him. If you told him yes in a serious way, he would likely ask you out or confess his feelings. He doesn't want to put himself out there, and uses the teasing to ... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: It will. With each bad experience we learn more about what to look out for. The warning signs. You'll never be free from hurt. Even in the best relationships fights happen and people hurt each other. But when you're with the right person you ... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Sarcasm?!? ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 2 December 2010: Wow, lots of examples here. Sounds like you've got a thing for him.
That behavior is how boys in grade school show they like a girl. Maybe he hasn't matured since then. Some guys get a kick out of winding girls up. It sounds like he does. I... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: You want to know if she has the same feelings as you do. Ok.
1st) Tell her your feelings.
2nd) Ask, "Do you feel the same way about me?"
Make sure to slip in the phrase "fuck buddy." You saw how many of the women here agreed with me! Th... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: "if you love someone like he 'pretended' to love me, he wouldn't have been able to do it to me."
Bingo. Don't worry, he wasn't your last chance. I'm about the same age. It's been a little over a year since the break up I detailed below and I'm ... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
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How do you know when you've done the right thing?
Q. Hi, I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost three years (anniversary next week) and she moved in with me in April. However over recent months we've been drifting apart, or should I say I have. She made it clear that I was the one and ...
A. 2 December 2010: I was in a similar situation with the exception that we didn't live together. We split up because I was never going to give her what she wanted. It's not entirely because I didn't want those things, but I knew in my heart that I didn't want them ... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Women just love being asked to be someone's fuck buddy. It's every little girl's dream that one day a handsome man will get down on one knee and say those magic words, "Will you be my fuck buddy?" They melt at the thought of it!
... (read in full...)
It felt right and wrong at the same time! What does this mean?
Q. Dear Cupid, i was close to this lad a while ago, like brother and sister close, hes 2 years older than me btw, and then we recently fell out, and we made up again and i went to his house on monday, and we didnt do anything, but on the tuesday, i w...
A. 2 December 2010: It's the conflicted feelings of deep friendship. When we've never really considered someone in a sexual light it can lead to extreme confusion when sex is introduced to the relationship.
I will say that of course it felt right when you were doi... (read in full...)
Because of my unhappy marriage I've found comfort in the arms of another...
Q. ok someone has to help me, I am married and have two kids,unhappy in my marriage and i have become friends with my husbands friend. We have been meeting up sexually and i have fell for him. The thing is he just got out of his relationship and is ...
A. 2 December 2010: You need to take things in the proper order, which you haven't.
Step one: Deal with your marriage. You need to confess to your husband what you've been doing and/or file for divorce. You cannot have any real relationship with anyone else unt... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: You just need time to go through the grieving process. You'll heal, it will just take some time.
The reason he was able to move on so quickly is because he had made the decision to end things. Often, when someone decides to end things, they've ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy be staring at my lips?
Q. I am 26, married. I don't have an affair. I have a good life. BUT! Yes there is a but. There is this guy who always charmed me by his personality (not Just Looks). He knows my family for a couple of years. I really like him and I know that ...
A. 2 December 2010: Watching someone's lips while they talk does help you listen, even if you're not deaf. Try it sometime. It does not make everyone uncomfortable, and the more ambient noise that's around, the more necessary it may become.
I'm fairly decent a... (read in full...)
My bf has to masturbate everynight before bed
Q. my bf has to masturbate everynight before bed even after we do it is there something wrong...
A. 2 December 2010: Ha, well if that's the problem then tell him to go to the bathroom or something.... (read in full...)
I know how much my past hurts him, but now his behaviour is hurting me!
Q. Hi everyone, I am 22 years old girl. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend since 6 months ago. He's an international student, we both met in college roughly one year ago. It was a romantic how we first met, but we didn't start our relationship since ...
A. 2 December 2010: Your new info doesn't change anything. So, you lied about it over 3 weeks. How long of a pennance do you have to pay?
At six months you're still in the infatuation stage. I know it feels like you'll die without him, but you won't.
But at ... (read in full...)
Contacting an ex I did dirty two years ago...
Q. Well I was with a guy about two years ago who was goin to the navy reserves he was a good guy treated me right but I was sixteen at the time and I did him dirty and left him for my ex who wasn't so great as I thought Itwould be. Several months later ...
A. 2 December 2010: It's not bad to wonder how he's been, but at the same time you shouldn't contact him. Let the past be the past and do what you can to live in the present.... (read in full...)
Can somebody explain to me why a man would conceal being in a relationship?
Q. Can somebody explain to me why a man would conceal being in a relationship ? When I say "conceal", I man that he never mentioned being in a relationship and we have been knowing each other for 2 years. I fell in love with him and he kissed me. He ...
A. 2 December 2010: No. If he was happy he would have mentioned the relationship. He was hiding it because he thought you would stop the flirty behavior he liked so much if you knew.... (read in full...)
What's with this threesome double standard?
Q. My boyfriend told me he'd like to try a threesome. I told him I'd do it but that I'd also like a threesome but with another guy. He went from totally enthusiastic that I said yes to furious. I told him I didn't want him to do anything with the other ...
A. 1 December 2010: Haha, I've found mmf much easier to arrange... had one and have been invited to others. I won't do a threesome again in a committed relationship.
Like Jmtmj said, high five OP!... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher!
Q. How do I approach this man before I graduate high school? I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher. I know you've all heard this before but im serious. I know what I want and that's a man. The boys at my school are way too immature and the...
A. 1 December 2010: Since you discussed biology, your brain continues to grow and develop until you reach the age of approximately 21. Your body may be maturing, but your mind has quite the way to go yet. As a teen your emotions feel stronger than they do at most ... (read in full...)
Any advice for keeping calm in interviews?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm new to this and I have a problem that no one seems to take seriously. I'm a temp at work and looking for another job before my contract runs out (that and commuting 20+ miles every day is terrible) I've been looking, sending...
A. 1 December 2010: A couple of other points that I know others have mentioned but they should be mentioned again.
- Research the company. Not only go in knowing something about what they do, but if possible stop by before your interview day and take note of what ... (read in full...)
Does a guy mind if his girlfriend has pimples?
Q. Will a guy mind if his gf has pimples? Like more pimply now?...
A. 1 December 2010: It also depends on if the pimples are the result of poor hygene. Bad hygene is never good. If they just happen, they just happen.... (read in full...)
What do I get my 38yr old boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. Any ideas on what to get my 38 year old boyfriend for Christmas? I was thinking maybe the Wii but I can't decide. Any advice?...
A. 1 December 2010: Here, we made this for you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tis-the-season.html
... (read in full...)
Why would a guy be staring at my lips?
Q. I am 26, married. I don't have an affair. I have a good life. BUT! Yes there is a but. There is this guy who always charmed me by his personality (not Just Looks). He knows my family for a couple of years. I really like him and I know that ...
A. 1 December 2010: I will sometimes watch a person's mouth when they are talking to better focus on their words. Sometimes it can be hard to hear and it is easier to know what someone said when you watch their mouth as they are talking.
When it comes to women, s... (read in full...)
How often should a couple speak throughout the day?
Q. What is considered the "norm" for how much a couple should speak throughout the day?...
A. 1 December 2010: There is no such thing as a norm. You should decide how much you want to communicate and relay that information to him. Then you should compromise and find what will work for both of you.
Some couples will be in contact multiple times a day. So... (read in full...)
Does a guy mind if his girlfriend has pimples?
Q. Will a guy mind if his gf has pimples? Like more pimply now?...
A. 1 December 2010: Some might, but most I know wouldn't care. As long as she doesn't care if he gets them sometimes too.... (read in full...)
He watches porn all the time
Q. I am a mother of three and real young. I have been dating a man for 2 yrs and things are ok. I have always knew he watched porn, I figured it was because we didnt live together. We moved in together and for the past 5 months I have noticed he looks, ...
A. 1 December 2010: You've told him you hate it, but have you talked to him about it to find out why he does it? In a curious way, not an "I hate this crap" way? If not, you need to.
Sit him down and tell him you're desparately trying to understand why he needs th... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this drunken mistake?
Q. i have been with this guy for about 7weeks now and i am really really happy and completely besotted by him but a couple of nights ago i tried to kiss his friend. i don't remember it happening as i was completely under the influence but now i feel so ...
A. 1 December 2010: Lie about this and other lies come easier. I think you should tell him. And tell him what a good friend he has that they didn't take advantage of it. Then, you need to work on your decision making. It's ok to drink, but do so in moderation, ... (read in full...)
I'm married but I want a female phone friend for just a friendship. Any suggestion?
Q. hi.. I am 34 male. I am looking for a female to share the feelings on phone. I am trying for 6 months on the net but i am not succefull. I am married and my married life is soso. I strongly feel that there should be any female friend in my life. I ...
A. 1 December 2010: Why can't you share your feelings with your wife? She should be the one you talk to about them. If you feel she's difficult to talk to, then you need to address this. You're looking to have an emotional affair. Work on your marriage before going ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend do anything sexual with me?
Q. Hello Agony Aunts, Long story. Well my boyfriend and me have been together for 2 years now and he wont have sex with me, he wont snog me and he wont even kiss me. I mean, the most we have ever done is cuddle. We sleep together but we arent al...
A. 1 December 2010: He's a boy who doesn't understand the importance of communication, that's for sure.
Really, it's his decision if he's ready for sex or sexual contact. If he's made it clear he's not ready, then it's for you to decide if you're willing to wait. ... (read in full...)
I don't like my girlfriend drinking
Q. My girlfriend and i have been going out for 9 months now and I never liked drinking but she likes getting "drunk" with her friends in miami every new years. She has said in the past that she has blacked out 3 times from drinking too much and I don't ...
A. 1 December 2010: Neither of you are wrong. Focus on the blacking out. Let her know you're not against her going out and having fun, but you're worried what might happen to her if/when she blacks out. Let her know that getting blackout drunk kills lots of people ... (read in full...)
Why did she make a date with her ex when she's supposedly still broken up over our break up?
Q. My girlfriend of 4 months cheated on me while I was out of town a month ago. She told me about it because the guilt was killing her because I'm a nice guy, especially to her. I wanted to try and work it out, but she said it would be too different ...
A. 1 December 2010: I can't say it any better than CaringGuy just did. She was over you before she even cheated, that's why she moved on so fast. I agree that she planned this out.... (read in full...)
Is my ex gay or in love with his best friend? I need to know so I can move on!
Q. I believe my ex is gay..only been together a month and a half before he said he can't be with me at all he's not the one for me and how I need attention..Besides looking exactly like a girl in features with a lot of hair and being a model..through ...
A. 1 December 2010: I don't know who "they" are, but "they" are wrong. PLENTY of people are bi.
Again, I just don't get why this matters at all.... (read in full...)
I know how much my past hurts him, but now his behaviour is hurting me!
Q. Hi everyone, I am 22 years old girl. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend since 6 months ago. He's an international student, we both met in college roughly one year ago. It was a romantic how we first met, but we didn't start our relationship since ...
A. 1 December 2010: The only thing that I would say on this subject to him anymore is that your past made you into the woman he fell in love with. If he loves you like he claims, then he needs to realize this and stop punishing you for having a past. Everyone has a ... (read in full...)
I really want sex again after breaking up with my ex, but I know I am not totally over him yet. What should I do?
Q. Okay so, my (first) boyfriend of 18 months just left me. He was the first and only person i've had sex with. But now i havent had sex for a couple of months and i really want to :S i'm worried i'll end up having sex with someone i don't know very ...
A. 1 December 2010: Try masturbating. It should satisfy some of your urges, and yes I know it's not the same, but it takes the edge off.
Keep that good attitude about not jumping into sex. It's important to take your time with sex because it's a big step for any ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back, but I don't want him to think he can play with me when he wants! What should I do?
Q. so i have been with this guy for 3 years and i love him so much. the thing is we havent been the same, he cheasted when we first started to date and ive forgave him for that but now i cant realy trust him, and on top of that last year i left him for ...
A. 1 December 2010: HAHAHAHA, sorry OP. I guess the little "carrot" character doesn't publish. I guess all the more reason to use words instead of symbols.
I like what CG said. You're a good girlfriend, so find a good boyfriend instead of a bad one.... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back, but I don't want him to think he can play with me when he wants! What should I do?
Q. so i have been with this guy for 3 years and i love him so much. the thing is we havent been the same, he cheasted when we first started to date and ive forgave him for that but now i cant realy trust him, and on top of that last year i left him for ...
A. 1 December 2010: He "3s" you? WTF is that? Oh wait, you're trying to do the whole "heart" thing I think. That's 3... I don't get why you can't type the word "love." It would be easier to read.
ANYWAY...
Walk away. He was an abusive partner and that... (read in full...)
Is my ex gay or in love with his best friend? I need to know so I can move on!
Q. I believe my ex is gay..only been together a month and a half before he said he can't be with me at all he's not the one for me and how I need attention..Besides looking exactly like a girl in features with a lot of hair and being a model..through ...
A. 1 December 2010: Why can't he be bi and in love with his bestie? He sounds like he has a thing for her, but also guys. Sounds bi to me.
Whatever the case, he's not in love with you, so you know the important piece that relates to you. The rest doesn't matter.... (read in full...)
Any advice for keeping calm in interviews?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm new to this and I have a problem that no one seems to take seriously. I'm a temp at work and looking for another job before my contract runs out (that and commuting 20+ miles every day is terrible) I've been looking, sending...
A. 1 December 2010: Interviewing is one of those things that has never been a problem for me. Part of the reason is that I go in convinced that the job is mine and I don't care what they think. I am very honest in my interviews and never say what I think they want to ... (read in full...)
I know how much my past hurts him, but now his behaviour is hurting me!
Q. Hi everyone, I am 22 years old girl. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend since 6 months ago. He's an international student, we both met in college roughly one year ago. It was a romantic how we first met, but we didn't start our relationship since ...
A. 1 December 2010: Please excuse my language but fuck that noise. You didn't MAKE him sleep with you. He's got a bad case of retroactive jealousy and he's become abusive because of it.
Here's the thing, the only thing you did wrong was lie about how many partners... (read in full...)
How can I get talking to him more and should I let him know that I like him ?.
Q. I like this guy who works at a place that i go to to get help to get back into work. He gave the induction that i went to, and now i see him whenever i go in to see an Advisor. I usually see him on a computer or something, but i dont get to speak to ...
A. 1 December 2010: I think you should talk to him first. I suggest that you ask him out for coffee the next time you're in. It will show you're interested, and give you a chance to talk if he says yes. Then you just talk to him and get to know him.
I would al... (read in full...)
He is still not totally over his ex, what should I do?
Q. I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. I am in love with him, I can picture having a life and future with this guy. But a part of him is still not over his ex. She was kinda his girl that got away. I told him if the main reason as to why ...
A. 1 December 2010: You answered your question. "I want something clear."... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my FWB! What should I do now?
Q. If a guy could help me, I would be very thankful! Basically, I have been seeing a guy for 6 months (friends with benefits thing (fwb)) and I had a boyfriend (bad, I know but I am no longer with him) and am still seeing the fwb. Now, I have fall...
A. 1 December 2010: If you think that all men just want sex buddies you've got some learnin' to do girl!
Lay it out for him. Tell him how you feel. Be honest. If he doesn't want the same thing then maybe it's best to cut this out. I think it may be best to cut t... (read in full...)
What do guys look for when they want a long term relationship?
Q. What do guys look for in a girl they want to date/have a long term relationship with?...
A. 1 December 2010: All the basic things I like, but most of all communication and a willingness to talk things out and not bury problems. The connection is definitely the most important thing for me. Sexual compatability is also important. Similar goals and ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher!
Q. How do I approach this man before I graduate high school? I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher. I know you've all heard this before but im serious. I know what I want and that's a man. The boys at my school are way too immature and the...
A. 30 November 2010: Don't do it! This is just wrong on so many levels and I doubt he sees you as anything other than a kid. Give up this crush. If you want to be off the market, then that's fine, but don't do it in hopes of getting with this guy.... (read in full...)
What do I get my 38yr old boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. Any ideas on what to get my 38 year old boyfriend for Christmas? I was thinking maybe the Wii but I can't decide. Any advice?...
A. 30 November 2010: As with every damn Christmas question we get here you don't tell us ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!!! Ok, he's 38. Great. What does he like? Does he have any hobbies? Does he have a favorite sport or team? Favorite author? Favorite director?
Your ... (read in full...)
My bf has to masturbate everynight before bed
Q. my bf has to masturbate everynight before bed even after we do it is there something wrong...
A. 29 November 2010: Maybe. It sounds like he may be a compulsive masturbator. Or maybe he is just so ritualized that he can't get to sleep without it.
Do you have a problem with it? It's not necessarilly something wrong, but not necessarilly something not wrong ei... (read in full...)
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