A
female
age
51-59,
*arefree
writes:I have a question for men and women. What do men find sexy, or what attracts them to a woman? Is it mostly physical, is it personality, etc...? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Character falls into the personality category for me. But it is important.
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Personality is nice...but what about character, no one brought that up. Like: can you trust her, is she a good person, etc. That is very attractive too.
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A
female
reader, carefree +, writes (22 November 2010):
carefree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow! I really love all the answers. This is so refreshing to see how everyone, especially men, see things. Of course physical attraction is important, but it comforts me to know there are so few shallow people in the world. This whole experience on here is truly a positive one. Thank you everyone for sharing such great insights. I appreciate each and every comment. :)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
The sexiest girl I know isn't honestly that physically sexy at all by media standards, but I love her personality and the way we click. I'm not saying she's ugly by any stretch of the imagination though (although like most women she thinks she is).
Physical attraction appeals to our animalistic nature. We see a girl proportioned in the way we like and we'll be attracted. We may even want to have sex with her. That doesn't mean she's relationship material though. There are much more important things to a relationship than looks. They are just part of the whole package.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): It depends on the man. I have dated men who are totally superficial. It is all about looks to them. The more you work out, the better in shape you are, the better a catch they think you are. Everything else takes a backseat. These men also tend to be chauvinistic, they view women as objects.
Actual QUALITY men are much less superficial, if at all. Obviously you need to be attracted to the person you are with, but to these men, that attraction involves way more factors than just looks alone. Personality is huge. A woman with a big personality makes a huge impression on them. They take into account her education, her drive, her personality, her elegance, her sophistication, her manners, her conversation, her interests. And if she is really beautiful, even better. These men actually have standards.
So really it depends on the man. Like my current boyfriend loves my personality and he has told me so and I can tell. We have amazing conversations, he loves to listen to what I have to say, we have amazing chemistry. It is the first time I feel like my boyfriend is my friend too.
You are better off holding out for a man who has standards and is not superficial. The relationship is SO SO SO SO much more rewarding.
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A
female
reader, carefree +, writes (22 November 2010):
carefree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone. I love all the responses. I just absolutely love how men think and how straight forward and easy going they are about everything. Thank you for all the great comments. :)
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (22 November 2010):
I actually find it hard to believe anyone who says looks are not important. Of course they are.
But from then on it depends what you want. If you're after just a bit of fun then that's all that matters.
However if you are looking for a relationship, i don't care how good looking they are, if they don't have the personality, then it's going to fail.
Personality is vital for a relationship and poses more importance than looks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): Beauty captures the eye, mind captures the heart :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): Both, you can't have a good relationship with only one of those things.
Personality can enhance a woman's physical attractiveness though, whereas physical attraction can't hide a bad personality.
As long as there is some physical attraction and a good personality then you're on to a winner. Because an average yet attractive looking woman with a great personality grows more beautiful by the day. A beautiful woman with a horrible personality grows more ugly by the day.
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A
male
reader, LittleAlfie +, writes (22 November 2010):
 A lot of people would like to claim that the primal sexual urge of men is dominant. Let's say the most sexually attractive and available woman in the room gets the night.
I am most certainly disinclined to believe that. It is true, there must be a physical attraction. The giant BUT is that she also has to be intelligent. Strictly on a primal urge, I would refuse to merge my own genetic code with some drunken bimbo at the local pub. Sorry. It's just not what I want.
The best way to attract a man worthy of you is to be yourself. Strictly yourself. Minimal makeup, bold personality, and hide very little from the start. It's the only way to make a true male friend, and my belief is that love is merely a friendship set ablaze.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Depends on what kind of attraction you''re talking about.
If it's "I want to bang her immediately" attraction, it's mostly physical. I'm sure you knew that much already, but I'd like to add that personality is basically just meeting the minimum here - can I stand to be around her for ten minutes? I suspect most guys think similarly.
Of course, short-term, availability trumps all. If any girl puts herself out there, some guy will take her up on it.
If it's more long-term attraction you're wondering about, then it's basically switched. Physical appearance is just a minimum to be met - does she have a nice face? Is she not fat? After the minimum is met, though, it all boils down to personality. Here, different guys will have very different tastes, so if you're trying to attract certain guys long-term, find out what they look for and incorporate those traits into your personality.
For instance, I pretty much melt for the shy, quiet, naive and sheltered types (who are getting harder to find as I get older). But then, one of my friends basically wants his girl to be a drinking buddy with breasts. We're all looking for our complement.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (22 November 2010):
 In my experience it generally works in a couple of ways:
- Mutual physical/sexual attraction is based, primarily, on one's animal instinct, and within 13 seconds I think they say, you know how compatible you are (genetically). If there is a strong attraction like this, AND your head is satisfied that the person is also an ok person, you have won the jackpot. Usually there's a mismatch to some degree - eg, he is totally hot but a bastard, or he is lovely but you don't fancy him.
So, it isn't as simple as personality over physicality, because one's physical instinct is very hard to ignore.
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A
female
reader, carefree +, writes (22 November 2010):
carefree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAwesome... Thank you this helps very much. It actually makes me have more respect for men. :)
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Definitely personality for me. A woman could be attractive enough to be the world's hottest bikini model but if she has no brains, it is a complete turn off. I wish more young women knew how to be sexual whilst still maintaining a certain amount of class. I have seen too many girls my age, walking around in precariously short skirts, expecting every guy in the room to swerve their heads towards them, that may work sometimes for them but, it is a little undignified.
A woman who takes care of herself will show it in her body. If she knows how to exercise instead of starving herself to the point of resembling a stick figure. If she knows how to have an intelligent conversation that contains more than just 'the next American Idol season' (a little stereotypical but I have had my share of dull conversations).
That is just a general description. Personality over physical appearance.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, ant666 +, writes (22 November 2010):
 with me its a mix of both .. if i notice a woman from accross the room then its looks but if someone engaged in conversation and i liked them then i liked them
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