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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i need help i wanna know if we should continue this relationship in secret or we shuold tell someone but i don't really want to end what we have got.i will be brief i went on this school visit for the whole weekend with school the teacher i have a crush on went and he came to check on me and we kissed and etc .. nothing sexual okay but what should i do heres my questionshould we carry on? if so should it be secret or should it be in public?i am 16 so am legal for consensual sex.not that we want sex yet....he is my teacher does that matter ?he doesn't teach me does that make a difference?help and advice please
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female
reader, americanpatriot  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I'm sorry I don't know the laws of Great Britain, but this is how the laws work in the United States. Here it's illegal for a teacher to kiss a student. I don't know what kind of kiss it was, but you have to end it. That's just the way it is.
If the kiss was somewhat platonic, and you don't want him to get in trouble for what he's already done, definitely don't make it public or even known to ONE soul. If his kiss was really deep OR made you uncomfortable, then tell, but realize that he will probably be fired and lose his license.
Don't let him kiss you again. Don't touch him, and don't let him touch you. You MUST protest if he does. What has happened cannot be allowed to happen again as long as you have not graduated, no matter what your age is. It wouldn't even matter if you were going to another school. Avoid him if you can. If he kisses or touches you again, you will need to tell the authorities because he would be showing a serious enough lack of self-control and professionalism to deserve the loss of his job.
Don't try to have a secret relationship. Teachers and students are nosy, and if it were to get found out, both your reputations would be destroyed. People look for this stuff. Believe me, you wouldn't get away with it. It would wind up public, like newspaper public, and spread like a wildfire.
Educate yourself on the laws of your country. I don't think you realize how serious this situation is.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): I know this isn't exactly what you want to hear, but you are heading down a bad road. A relationship should be fun. You're young, and you should be dating someone closer to your age. Being your teacher, he really shouldn't have started this relationship with you. And honestly, he could be fired for this. But as for keeping it a secret, that's not a good way to have a relationship. Any way you spin it, it's not healthy. You may feel special because an older man chose you, but don't let that affect your decision on the matter. It is best to break it off now before it gets too serious. This will most likely not end well, so it is in your best interest not to pursue this any further.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 November 2010):
 That's all you got from our answers? Tell an adult! He will use and abuse you for sex, kissing whatever..and you're going to let him. This is a man you are a CHILD! He is NOT your boyfriend! Ask yourself what does a teacher want with a little school girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know that he is single and that he has no kids ..
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Celtic tiger gave a very good answer and you should listen to this advice. It may seem exciting to have a relationship but any teacher willing to engage in a physical act with a pupil should not be in the profession. There are specific laws against teachers having relationships with pupils on the basis of it being breach of trust. It applies to anyone under the age of 18. You won't be the first pupil he has kissed. I have worked in child protection and it is typical for predators to put themselves in positions of authority over their target victims. When he is bored of you then he can cast you aside for other girls that he meets professionally. He may have a wife and kids at home who don't know what he is like. Not only is he a disgrace to teaching but he maybe cheating on his partner. I suggest that you tell a parent or trusted teacher at school what is happening. He could be involved in serious abuse of younger children and no-one may have spoken up about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): i somehow doubt this even if real. just a schoolgirls fantasy
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (22 November 2010):
 No, you should not carry on with this. What he is doing is illegal, and will get him sacked for professional misconduct, breach of trust and child abuse. This is probably the most seriously thing a teacher can do.
16 is the legal age of consent in the uk, BUT for a person in a position of trust (ie a Teacher, Doctor, Policeman, Fireman etc) it is against the law for them to have a relationship with anyone under the age of 18.
No teacher can have a relationship with ANYONE under the age of 18. It is illegal. Teacher/pupil relationships are also frowned upon after the age of 18, and tutors at universities are often sacked for unprofessional relationships with students. It is just not allowed. It is breach of trust, and abuse of a position of power. It brings all sorts of questions out, such as sex for grades, preferential treatment, what happens if you dump him. Will he mark you down? Will he blackmail you into sex to get better grades?
By kissing you, this teacher is breaking the law. He is a teacher at your school. It doesnt matter if he doesnt teach you, you are under his supervision whilst at school. It is ILLEGAL.
So, you must stop this immediately and report this to your tutor, or head of year.
When we sign up to be teachers, we agree to duty of care - that is we look after the wellbeing of the children as if we were a parent. While you are within the school walls your teachers essentially act as your parents. Until you are 18, you are a LEGALLY a CHILD. You might not like that, but that is how the law of this country sees it.
This is serious situation, and breaking this trust can result in at best sacking, at worst, prison time, being put on the sex offenders register and being banned from teaching children or being near children for life.
No sensible man of a teachers age would be interested in a 16 year old girl for a romantic relationship. He is not interested in being your boyfriend, he only wants to have sex with you.
Usually the teachers that do this have history - do you really think you are the only one this man has tried it on with? I very much doubt it. How many girls push him away before he finds one that responds. You responded, and he took advanted. NO GOOD TEACHER WOULD HAVE DONE THIS.
This man needs to be reported, and removed from the teaching profession, for the safety of the young girls in his care.
http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/familyandcommunity/childprotection/usefulinformation/abuseoftrust/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/teacher_fancying_your_teacher
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/17
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 November 2010):
Yes, it does matter. He's a trusted role model to teach you and your peers..Not to have secret relations with you that are highly inappropriate. Because you are of legal age he avoids going to jail, that's it. But his relationship with you will cost him his career and any future jobs...he will not be able to teach again, and will not be able to get another respectable job.
Be mature and cut off this relationship or better yet turn him in..He's an adult not some young teenage boy.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
 This will cost him his job. It doesn't matter that he doesn't teach you directly, you're still a student and that's against the rules (legal conscenting age or not).
I don't think it's a good idea to carry on with this. If you don't want him to lose his job I wouldn't tell anyone either.
This is serious bad news.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): -secret
-youre legal for sex not with your teacher though because he is in a posistion of a trust
-yes , read above , he can be sacked if people find out also once a pupil leaves school tehy are not allowed to add teachers on facebook or msn until the pupil reaches 18
-no even if he doesnt teach you he still teaches at your school which makes it ilegal
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