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He's shy and won't call me.

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Question - (22 November 2010) 14 Answers - (Newest, 26 November 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

how long should a girl wait for a guy to call her before she loses hope in him. I told a guy to csall me abut 3 days ago, hes really shy and will IM me but not call yet....so when shud i wait til until i kno hes just nt htat interested.?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):

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no he called right after he got my number, i thought he already had it but he didnt so my bad...but yea i guess i can initiate a little more.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (26 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntInitiate conversation then. I'm starting to think he's not all that shy, but his a problem with communication. If a guy likes you he will muster up the courage to call you. It doesn't make sense that he will talk to you online, but not on the phone. But the other day he finally called, or did you call? Then he won't talk to you online. It's not a game, if you like him initiate some conversation, but don't do all the work. Make sense?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):

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so he called yesterday, good convo, he said bye first (damit!) but today hes been online all day and not initiating convo, does he want me to initiate?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (24 November 2010):

dirtball agony auntTrue, true, but you are tortured by his lack of communication.

It's up to you what you do, just don't expect him to change.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010):

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true true, but i like him :(

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (24 November 2010):

dirtball agony auntThen don't bother. Why get attached to someone you can never see and who is a poor communicator?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010):

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no lol he lives far away

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (23 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntDrop by Saturday..see what happens and his valid reason (if he has one) for not calling.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

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yea he ims but like it doesnt last a lng time b/c either im tired or hes tired and we havent had a legit nice long conversation :( i HATE IMing b/c of typing speeds and like its not a flowy convo, we met in anther country (2 hours from here) and hes there and im here....i hav no problem going bak there but im a girl! he needs to show more interest. i think im gona drop it by saturday to be honest. what d u think? i mean hes amazing and i dont wana mess this up, hes like prince charming i really like him i just want him to like me just as much, im done being needy or putting effort. yes hes very shy but he needs to man up, wat do u thinnk? i dnt hav his numberanyways, he has mine.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

One persons phonecall is another person's IM. A lot of people prefer to get email or chat support for their pc rather then going through the ordeal of a phonecall.... I know your not a pc but sounds like this guy is intimidated by you and his comfort zine is im. Maybe next time you chat ask him if he wants to meet in person.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010):

Give him a call. It couldn't hurt.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (22 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntAgreed no call in 3 days, then I give up..Not without making at least one phone call myself. Call him, he may want to call you but isn't sure what to say.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010):

um as a shy guy myself, if he is IMing you he still has interest, and the fact he can't call should show you he is interested and just can't work up the courage. next time you IM reinforce the idea about him calling, or say im really looking forward to you to call. maybe that might help, it would make my day i know that.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (22 November 2010):

dirtball agony aunt3-5 days is the general "rule." That's for any contact. Has he tried to IM with you since this "call me" conversation? Why can't you call him? Are you trying to test his interest? If he's overly shy, that may backfire.

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