A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a lesbian and have been with my girlfriend for little over two years. Most of that time has been very, very happy. However, a few months ago, she cheated on me with my friend, but after some time apart, I decided to take her back.Since then, we have been fine, the trust obviously hasn't been the same, but I wouldn't say that it is a problem. I have now completely forgiven her, and I'm over that situation.But we have recently discovered that she is suffering from mild depression (which she thinks is due to the guilt that she feels about cheating on me). She has started to see a psychiatrist about this, and is fine the some of the time, but most of the time, she takes her moods out on me; putting me down and knocking my confidence.Due to this, i have spent more time with friends to cheer me up, and recently I was introduced to a friend of a friend. When I first saw her, I was instantly attracted to her, we got talking and we both share many similar interests, and laugh alot together. Last week I gave her my mobile number, and we've been texting non-stop. I think I have fallen for her; I think about her all of the time, and when I go to bed, I can't sleep as I'm thinking about her; wondering if she feels anything for me.But I don't think that she does. She has told me about how she goes out every week and sleeps with lots of different girls, and she is quite flirty with her own friends. But she seems to flirt more with me. When I consciously ignore her, she always kicks me playfully to get my attention, when we hug, she always holds me for a long while, and just last week she gave me her hat to keep for a while because I liked it; she even offered me her coat when I said I was cold, and when my girlfriend is around, she seems akward.I feel like I'm falling for this girl, but I also feel like I love my girlfriend, I even sometimes feel guilty for having these feelings for another girl and I'm scared of leaving my girlfriend (the safe option) and being crushed by this girl. Do you think that the other girl likes me? How would I found out without "putting all my cards on the table"?What should I do about it if she does? Should I leave my girlfriend for her?I'm so confused !!!!
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cheated on me, confidence, crush, flirt, lesbian, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): I don't think you should break up with a partner of two years without a lot of consideration. I'm no expert, but I would say to really consider both as people, and decide who you're more likely to happily be with for a very looooong time. You don't want to lose what you have right now for something that will dissappear in just a few weeks.
I think you also need to look at your relationship right now. If you're willing to just walk away at the first oppurtunity, should you still be in this relationship?
I think I must agree with Romany on this one. If you're only with your partner now because she's the better option, that probably isn't best for either of you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (23 November 2010):
 You've over thought this, hence the confusion, its simple,
if your prepared to leave your girlfriend if this other girl would give you the commitment then you shouldn't be with your girlfriend.
If your afraid to leave your girlfriend only because she is the better option, then you shouldn't be with your girlfriend, because your not there cos you want to be.
I personally think that you love your girlfriend for the wrong reasons, your in love with the girl that used to be, not what has happened since, she killed your trust by cheating, and now she is 'taking' her guilt for her mistake out on you with her mood swings.
I'm sorry to say this, I truly am, but I dont think your relationship with your g/f is going to last much longer, I dont think this is a gliche, and if it wasn't this girl with the hat, it would have been the next one who showed an interest.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Does she like you? Yup.
How to find out? You already know. Look at all the stuff you described. That's an indication she likes you.
What should you do about it? That's going to be your call. She may be fun, but her track record is crap. Then again, these abuses you're taking from your GF aren't right either. It's time for some soul searching. I think you need to talk to your GF and tell her how what she's doing is making you feel. That she's driving you away.
Honestly, this new girl sounds like she's an infatuation junkie. She likes the chase and the initial rush of a new relationship, but once that wears off, she's on to her next one. These types are great at flirting and making you feel special and wanted, until they have you. Something to be wary of.
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