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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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I feel like my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me! What can I say to him that I havent said already?
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A. 20 November 2010: *Sigh*
This is why whole stories are helpful.
If that's what you're feeling, then it may be time to leave this relationship. He isn't going to pay you back. You can decide if you can write this off, or if it is a deal breaker.
Fr... (read in full...)
Men only! Does this work for you??
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A. 20 November 2010: I like a direct girl. I hate guessing games. I think it depends on the Guy.... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me! What can I say to him that I havent said already?
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He's at fault for promising something and not following through. If he says he'll pay for somethin... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
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I want to be a porn star does anyone have any advice regarding this matter?
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How do I remain cool?
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My pointer is to be gentle. Many women grab it too hard and that can hurt, a lot. Really, he'll enjoy most any attention you give him down there. Be open to direction. Don't take it as you doing anything... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 19 November 2010: Sorry I missed your follow up. I hope your conversation goes well today. If I had known the info you provided in the follow up I would have told you to cancel your meeting for today and walk away from this relationship for good.
Make up/break... (read in full...)
We need a better way of communicating our problems!
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Are these signs of cheating?
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A. 19 November 2010: Way to bring it back and answer your own question! ;-)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to hurt her during sex, is this normal?
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A. 18 November 2010: Normal has no real bounds when it comes to sex. If that's what she's into, then that's what she's into. It's great that she's opening up to you about her desires.
The other thing is that you shouldn't do anyting you're not comfortable with eit... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in over 6 months! Any advice would be appreciated
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years, lived together for the last 4. I am 28 and she will be 26 in a few weeks. Our problem is that she has lost her sex drive and nothing I do gets her in the mood. We used have sex a few times a week ...
A. 18 November 2010: Usually this is the indication that something else is wrong. Have you two talked about it?
I recommend that you think back to when you first started dating. What did you do to show her you loved her? What sparked the mood back then? Often in... (read in full...)
My best friend is giving me the cold shoulder!
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A. 18 November 2010: Yeah, give him space. Did something happen that caused this like say... He confessed feelings for you and you rejected him. Or have you gotten a new boyfriend recently? Or has he gotten a new girlfriend?
He may just be upset and need some alo... (read in full...)
I really think I should start taking birth control.
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A. 18 November 2010: This is very mature of you. Congratulations. This will be an uncomfortable conversation most likely for both of you. I always believe that it's best if you know what you're talking about before hand. Do a little research about birth control. Is ... (read in full...)
We need a better way of communicating our problems!
Q. I need to find a better way to argue. My boyfriend and I are doing great but we have a problem when it comes to arguments. I am a very emotional person, he is not in the slightest. Which makes things difficult at times. I feel a lot and sometime...
A. 18 November 2010: One more thought that I forgot to include. I apologize for the multiple posts. He feels attacked because you're telling him what he's doing isn't good enough for you when he's doing his best. That's why you need to reassure him when you talk that ... (read in full...)
We need a better way of communicating our problems!
Q. I need to find a better way to argue. My boyfriend and I are doing great but we have a problem when it comes to arguments. I am a very emotional person, he is not in the slightest. Which makes things difficult at times. I feel a lot and sometime...
A. 18 November 2010: Sorry trystrikers04, the "if you loved me" thing is crap and doesn't work. Then walking away isn't solving anything. You're not communicating, you're giving an ultimatum. Learn how to address it correctly and it won't lead to a fight. Maybe you ... (read in full...)
How do I get the courage to ask her out?
Q. Hey. I'm sure you get this one a lot. But I can't find any good answers on the internet. Theres a girl called (randomly thinks of name) Ellie. I've had a crush on her for a while now. I can talk to her, and she's great, not like other girls givi...
A. 18 November 2010: *Sigh* That's why you ask her in person. It is much much harder to say no to someone to their face. Still, congratulations for making the attempt. I wouldn't give up just yet. Keep talking to her and try again in a month or so. Next time ... (read in full...)
We need a better way of communicating our problems!
Q. I need to find a better way to argue. My boyfriend and I are doing great but we have a problem when it comes to arguments. I am a very emotional person, he is not in the slightest. Which makes things difficult at times. I feel a lot and sometime...
A. 18 November 2010: Ok, I'm glad you're here asking about this. It shows you communicate and understand the importance of communication. Now you need to start educating yourself in the differences between male and female communication.
He sounds like the type of ... (read in full...)
I get so wet during sex that he can't feel me. Is something wrong?
Q. My man and i hav been together for 3 yrs now. He took my virginity and he's d only man i'v eva slept with. At 1st yr i didn't reach climax infact i didn't even knw wat it was. As tym went by i reached it. Lately i'v been getting very wet during ...
A. 18 November 2010: No, nothing is wrong with you. It simply means that you're into it and very excited. There is also little you can do to control this unfortunately.
Definitely nothing to be worried about.... (read in full...)
How should make his birthday special?
Q. For my boyfriend's 18th birthday, do you think it would be a good idea to get a hotel in London for a few days, and book tickets to attractions I think he'd like; he's never been before but has always wanted to. I am already eighteen and we've been ...
A. 18 November 2010: That sounds like it would be wonderful to me. I know I'd love something like that.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend constantly wants me to chose her over my family!
Q. My girlfriend continually demands that I choose her over my family, and refuses to compromise about the issue. She comes from a broken family, and has picked fights with my mom, sister, and brother over menial issues. She demands that I take her ...
A. 18 November 2010: The way I see it she's got to go. This behavior won't change. She's got some serious issues that will eventually drive a wedge between you and your family despite your best efforts. I've dated her type, you're better off without her. That's ... (read in full...)
Wife says she's in love with both of us!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 33 year old who has been with the same woman for 14 years and been married for 7 of those years. I love this woman with everything I have. We have four children together and are very happy together. My question is, rec...
A. 18 November 2010: It's incredibly thoughtful of you to let her decide as you are. It's better than she deserves frankly. Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you. If you feel that this is the choice that will make you happy, then that's what you should ... (read in full...)
Do relationships work if you're not fully compatible?
Q. he says we aren't compatible. we've been dating for over a year now, and he moved away a few months ago, so currently in a long distance relationship. When we first started dating, we had a lot to talk about, mostly because we were getting to know ...
A. 18 November 2010: Yup, but you might want to set some sort of deadline in your head for when you'll no longer wait. You don't want to be waiting forever afterall. I wouldn't tell him about that deadline, just make a mental note.... (read in full...)
Are these signs of cheating?
Q. Hi everyone, I am suspecting that my bf is cheating on me. There are many reasons why I feel this way. - I came home to him today showering, which he would never do this late in the day - he wanted to change the sheets because he claimed tha...
A. 18 November 2010: You two need to work out whatever it is that's causing all the fights. Tell him you want to have a calm discussion about it and stay civil. Don't allow personal attacks or accusations to invade the conversation. Something may be up, but it may be ... (read in full...)
How can I start enjoying my youth again?
Q. Since been 14 (I'm now 16) I can't wait to be an adult/grown up etc. I've never been in a realtionship or anything, and that honestly doesn't bother me (plenty of time for all that lol). I'm doing my A levels now but I just want to be through with ...
A. 18 November 2010: That's a good start. Your actions will show your maturity level. Some people will always view you as a kid. Heck, my dad was being teased about being a kid last week by his uncle and my dad's almost 65.
Ignore people who say things you don'... (read in full...)
Fiancé wishes my penis was bigger, do you think I'm big enough?
Q. I need help. Me and my fiancé been together for over a year and I have to admit...we are both sexually active. She says she loves my penis size but constantly reminds me that she wish I was bigger. My penis is 6" long with 3.5" girth but she says ...
A. 18 November 2010: Not to speak ill of your fiance but what a bitch! Not cool at all. You're actually above average. The only proven way to increase your length is surgery, and that runs the risk of impotency. I can't believe she would actually say something like ... (read in full...)
Are these signs of cheating?
Q. Hi everyone, I am suspecting that my bf is cheating on me. There are many reasons why I feel this way. - I came home to him today showering, which he would never do this late in the day - he wanted to change the sheets because he claimed tha...
A. 18 November 2010: The best answer I can give is maybe.
The showering thing, maybe he was working out. Maybe he was doing some stuff around the house and got dirty. Maybe he's washing the other girl off himself...
The sheets. Could be that he had a wet dre... (read in full...)
Does he like me or is he some kind of human contact freak?
Q. there's this boy i really like and sit next each other in math and he always sits so his arm arm is touching mine and if i move mine he'll strech out to be touching again but its not like he's like taking the whole table over. we dont really talk ...
A. 18 November 2010: Hard to say. Generally breaking the touch barrier is a sign of interest, but if you're not talking, why not strike up a conversation and see where that goes. How do you know he likes your friend? Has he told you that?
If you think you like thi... (read in full...)
We don't want to go all the way, so what else is there besides plain old oral sex?
Q. My bf's birthday is coming up and i want to do something special for him... Both of us are virgins...we both agreed to wait for the wedding night; however i wanna get a bit dirty with him without ...u know...losing my virginity...so w...
A. 18 November 2010: I'm sure he will. I hope you have a great night together!... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 18 November 2010: Yes. Save any conversation you're thinking about until Friday. It's good that he hasn't contacted you much for right now. Think about what you want out of your relationship and be prepared to discuss it on Friday.
I wouldn't jump to so many con... (read in full...)
Is this cute and quirky or just plain weird?
Q. Hi everyone. So this a kind of a weird questions and its a bit embarassing, but i'd just like some guys opionions. I have a little mole on the side of my vagina - like on the skin next to it. Will guys find this quirky and cute or is it just plain ...
A. 18 November 2010: I can't say anything that CaringGuy didn't. 5 stars!
We really don't care. Not one bit.... (read in full...)
Am I a freak for not having my first kiss yet?
Q. im just about to turn 15 and i've never had a boyfriend or been kissed. ive never even had a friend who was a boy. i feel like a freak, is it normal not to have your first kiss at my age?...
A. 18 November 2010: Nothing abnormal with you at all. Don't worry about it. It will happen when the time is right. ... (read in full...)
Too tight and dry to have sex!
Q. i am married but my vagina is too tight and dry that my spouse can't enter me. please help me...
A. 18 November 2010: Try more foreplay and some water based lubes like KY jelly. The more aroused you are, the more wet you should be and the more relaxed you should be. Go slowly.... (read in full...)
What ever happened to communication?
Q. Having been here for a while now, I see consistancy in many of the problems people who come here face. One major problem, although it isn't usually the one that brought them here, is communication. Communication is usually the underlying problem ...
A. 18 November 2010: Thank you. It's sad to me that people don't realize the importance of good communication. It can really be very easy, but can also be incredibly hard. I've started making this a prerequisite in my relationships. Part of my ground rules. Lessons ... (read in full...)
How can I start enjoying my youth again?
Q. Since been 14 (I'm now 16) I can't wait to be an adult/grown up etc. I've never been in a realtionship or anything, and that honestly doesn't bother me (plenty of time for all that lol). I'm doing my A levels now but I just want to be through with ...
A. 18 November 2010: Ok, this may sound harsh, but it's not intended that way. If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one. Throwing a fit about being treated like a child makes you look like a child. Maybe you're just venting here, but to me you sound ... (read in full...)
Do relationships work if you're not fully compatible?
Q. he says we aren't compatible. we've been dating for over a year now, and he moved away a few months ago, so currently in a long distance relationship. When we first started dating, we had a lot to talk about, mostly because we were getting to know ...
A. 18 November 2010: Relationships can work if you're not fully compatible. The key is to want it to work. Honestly, he doesn't know what he wants. He's confused and learning about relationships. I think you're handling things pretty well given the situation, but ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me! What can I say to him that I havent said already?
Q. i feel like i'm unappreciated. i always organise days out with my boyfriend and i always sort out tickets and transport and times. he just says yes! but he when it comes down to paying, all he does again is say yes.. he never actually p...
A. 18 November 2010: Honestly your follow up changes things A LOT! If he's paying 8 out of 10 times, then yes, you should pony up some of the time. In a relationship it's your job to woo eachother. That's not solely the man's job. Quit being so damn selfish.
... (read in full...)
When making out...how long does a girl wait before removing her bra?
Q. how long do girls usually wait to take their tops/bras off while making out? i dont want to give him the impression that i want to go faster witht he physical stuff, quite the opposite- weve only known each other for almost 2 months.. and i r...
A. 18 November 2010: It all depends on your comfort level. If you're comfortable with what you're doing then it's fine. If you're uncomfortable then tell him so and he shouldn't try again if he's a good guy. The key is deciding how you feel about it and communicating ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me! What can I say to him that I havent said already?
Q. i feel like i'm unappreciated. i always organise days out with my boyfriend and i always sort out tickets and transport and times. he just says yes! but he when it comes down to paying, all he does again is say yes.. he never actually p...
A. 18 November 2010: I wouldn't want to give up a free transportations service either. What a friggin mooch! I wouldn't even feel like a man if I did something like this. You're his sugar momma and unless you change your behavior he won't change his. Do like aunt ... (read in full...)
We don't want to go all the way, so what else is there besides plain old oral sex?
Q. My bf's birthday is coming up and i want to do something special for him... Both of us are virgins...we both agreed to wait for the wedding night; however i wanna get a bit dirty with him without ...u know...losing my virginity...so w...
A. 17 November 2010: Plain old oral sex... I never get sick of it, and I doubt he would either. BUT since you asked, you could use your breasts to get him off. You could blindfold him and have him lay back while you play with him. You could do some role playing. ... (read in full...)
How do I get the courage to ask her out?
Q. Hey. I'm sure you get this one a lot. But I can't find any good answers on the internet. Theres a girl called (randomly thinks of name) Ellie. I've had a crush on her for a while now. I can talk to her, and she's great, not like other girls givi...
A. 17 November 2010: The way I see it you've already done the hard part, and that's initiating conversation. Since you're already talking to eachother just ask her out like aunt honesty said. Everyone is afraid of rejection, and there is no easy way to get past it ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 November 2010: Holy crap! I think we just had breakthrough time didn't we! I'm very glad that there are women like you out there. I hope to meet one of my own someday. I'm also glad it seems like you've found the source of your feelings about his porn ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 October 2010: Sad, I know. Actually, I can think of one time it happened and one time it almost did. Once it happened on accident, but fortunately for me we were in a 69 and she was having one at the same time so she didn't care. Another told me she swallowed ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 October 2010: Good point Gabrielle. Let me rephrase, your attitude about sex is special. As is yours Smiliek. I hope to meet a woman with similar feelings toward sex someday.
Do guys prefer a handjob or bj when getting a "release?"
This guy prefers a bj... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 27 October 2010: You're a special girl Gabrielle, and I envy your partner. The only girl I've met who had a similar attitude to you as far as sex turned out to be a manipulative psycho. That relationship never would have lasted so long if the sex wasn't so ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 27 October 2010: Good questions, and no you're not all alone, I keep checking in and referring people in situations similar to yours back to this thread.
Can a guy have enough sex that he doesn't need to masturbate?
Yes and no. I've found that (at least in my ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 13 October 2010: Welcome back Mia. Glad you got everything sorted out!... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 8 October 2010: I agree. It is lazy. It also becomes harder to fantasize if you're constantly bombarding yourself with these images. The problem in my life is that I haven't found many women with comparable sex drives. Most of the women I've been with have ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: I agree to a point. I think part of the appeal of porn with regard to masturbation is that it is easy and highly accessable. Can I masturbate without it? Sure. The thing is that it takes longer. At least for me. If I just want to make it fast, ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: Ha! Just because they happen doesn't mean they need to be accepted. I see people who don't pay their taxes every day. Death is hard to cheat though.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 6 October 2010: Nobody ever has to accept anything they don't want to. I do believe that a lot of people believe that someone may have to accept something but the truth is that it is your right as an individual to make your own choices as to what you'll accept or ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 5 October 2010: I'm still reading it. :-)
I think that's because of the fact that it's viewed as "taboo." These are conversations that need to take place in a relationship. It makes the relationship stronger if both parties lay out their expectations for each... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 30 September 2010: I think you're right person12345, there is a bit of the ostrich syndrome going on here. I have some thoughts on this question though: "If she's already insecure and that makes it worse, why wouldn't he want to make her feel better?"
This is a sli... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 29 September 2010: OK Friends, we're opened back up. I just wanted to post a reminder to everyone to keep it civil. I haven't seen anything like that in a while, but it's still worthy of a reminder.
So, without further delay, please let the conversation continue... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 September 2010: Katy, I didn't realize you were the anon poster. However, I never said you don't belong here, just the negativity you were expressing.
I was pushing for contributions, not attacks. Please do contribute. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 September 2010: Anon poster, where your argument about men fails is your statement about their actions. Actions and thoughts are two very different things. Just because we may fantasize about something, that doesn't mean we will, or even we want to in reality, ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 26 August 2010: "Why is it you don't talk about 'masturbation addicts'"
LOL Mia, a masturbation addict will eventually be unable to even view porn since they'll go blind and have super hairy palms.
Don't you love those old wive's tales?
I also have pro... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 26 August 2010: "As for Dirtball's theory about masturbation is dirty, I think porn would actually lessen especially in how degrading it is if masturbation wasn't thought of as hidden and dirty."
I agree. When we're hiding something already, it becomes easier t... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 25 August 2010: "But lying as a teen to your mum is surely different to lying to your partner?"
It is and it isn't. Your point is valid and the way things should work ideally. The thing is that learned behavior is difficult to change. An example. I live alo... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 24 August 2010: Why is this "ok" to lie about?
It really isn't. You are right that a relationship built around lies doesn't have a real foundation. Now, what I'm about to type, is the justification.
It's not that it's ok to lie about it, it's that men ha... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: Be careful when you say such things, especially if the pig is around. He tends to get very funny ideas when you say "woman, naked, ogle"
Ha, Q isn't the only one who gets crazy thoughts in his head when he hears (or reads) those words. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: If I had a gf who would take sexy pics of herself or star in a video with me, you better believe I'd watch that above anything else in my collection. The problem is that, like with just about anything, the same thing can get boring if repeated ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: "sorry to drag it back, but im still at a loss as to what to say to women who post on here who cannot accept their partners porn use, but love him and do not wish to leave the rship. If he wont stop (even if he only does it sometimes) what should ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: I should add, thank you for identifying yourself!... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Sorry person 12345... I was writing my response at the same time.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Anon, she says you're hiding because you haven't signed up and given us a user name to call you.
As for the prevalence in today's society... I blame "girls gone wild." My mom had an argument with one of my brother's girlfriends once because ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 21 August 2010: I'm going to step out of the porn discussion for a second and address the Neuroscience issue (as this was one of my primary collegiate areas of study).
What you see activating in the brain of an addict during a scan is their dopamine centers.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 21 August 2010: My point is that "normal, mainstream porn" can be all the things I listed. It's all out there for anyone with internet access. Even in your "expert" opinion you have to see you're over generalizing. Also, just because something is out there, it ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 August 2010: I'm with Tisha. There is every kind of porn out there under the sun.
You've got the ones where they are actors with lines and are playing out a scenario. Heck, I just saw a XXX parody of "That 70's Show." It was hardly degrading. It was funn... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 August 2010: Wow, this thread really exploded didn't it.
First. To LucyLoos. I was the responder who discussed my sex drive. I find it admirable that you've been able to enhance yours to meet your husband's needs. That's excellent. My first choice i... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 19 August 2010: "I love the man i met, i dont have any need or want to change him. I may not love the man he became if he tried."
Of your whole post (which I agree could really have used paragraphs) this is the sentence that summed up my stance on this topic. ... (read in full...)
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