A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:we have a friend who is in the hospital.my husband and this friend used to depend on each other since they didn't have anyone else until i came into the picture. i feel like things were fine when we were dating but deteriorated after marriage-he will accuse me of saying or doing something when i didn't or find fault and compares me to friend.now that friend is in the hospital it is worse than before once married.i don't know what to do. someone please help me.i love him and don't want to constantly fight.we both have threatened to leave but i know i certainly can't-he is my soulmate,my world,my everything.i'm afraid that i'm going to end up in the hospital because of depression.and he always tells friend about our fights. he tells friend everything but not me.how can i get him to open up to me and stop trying to push me away and stop acting as if i'm a guest or stranger? i know he doesn't intentionally do all this but it hurts me and i am lost as to what i should do. deep down i know he loves me but he has a hard time showing it. someone please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): You should not read him the riot act and then go to your moms for awhile. It will only make things worse-especially where you both have threatened to leave before.he will think you are leaving if you really aren't. stay with him but just talk to him about how you feel when things are going well.don't fight just talk and remind him you are there and if he starts pushing you away don't give in. give him space if need be but never let him push you away-that will only make things worse not to mention ruin your marriage
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 January 2012):
 When you marry, your husband should put you before all others as his partner in life; as you do for him. This means he should be aware of your feelings and put them first as well - as well as keeping your CONFIDENCES and not discussing your sacred marriage with people outside of it.
He is wrong in this sense.
He is TOTALLY RIGHT in showing support to his friend while she is sick and spending time with her; but I can't see how unloading on her in the hospital is helpful to her - it sounds a bit selfish to me.
You should sit him down and read him the riot act and then go home to your mothers for a while. He needs to realize where his loyalties lie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): just give him time.he will come around.if you know deep down he loves you then he does-always follow your insticts and listen to what your heart tells you. just remind him that you are there and that you aren't going anywhere.hes probably just worried and doesnt know how to express feelings to you
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