A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My last relationship ended just over a year ago - we where together on and off, for 5 years (since I was 16) and especially towards the end of the relationship, he was physically and mentally abusive. The last year we were together, we lived in Australia, about 6000 miles away from my home country. I think he took advantage of this distance from my friends/family, and put me through hell - constantly accusing me of cheating,forcing me to have sex with him - I pretty much spent all my time in our apartment cooking and cleaning, and became quite depressed.Since we broke up, I moved back to the UK, got a job and apartment and started uni again.I want a new relationship now, but find guys apsolutely terrifying. I can't speak to a guy without stammering and blushing, and am so fustrated with myself and fed up. My ex really destroyed my confidence, and I want to get it back, but don't know how? So I guess I want ideas for how I can be more confident, and start dating again?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (3 September 2011):
 Remember back to when you were a kid; we never "dated" one-on-one at 12 or 13, we hung out in groups of boys and girls, right?
I think I would find some sports activity club or hobby group at the school to join and just let things evolve from there...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): Well from what you've said you have rebuilt your life and that takes some doing after a split, so you actually should be very proud and very confident.Maybe your just not ready for a relationship yet, emotionally you have been bruised. It takes time to recover. There are decent men everywhere and if you start building friendships with them first you will get to know and trust them and the dating bit will follow naturally.
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