A
male
age
22-25,
*he_Dark_Knight
writes:I hate it when my mom breastfeeds my baby brother in public. What should I do?She has done it several times. Why the hell would she wanna do it in public? She's crazy. It embarrasses the hell out of me. It's also disgusting. Is there a way I can make her stop? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 [Mod note: really long link from an on line shop removed. Google "breast feeding aprons" in popular online shops for help.]Check out the link for breast feeding aprons. They are a way for women to feed their babies in public and still keep it a bit private. My cousin has one and used it when I went to visit her with my Dad. My Dad is 70 years old and old fashioned but he wasn't embarrassed about it at all. Maybe show your mum the link. Some of the aprons are really pretty. You can't stop her breast feeding but you can tell her how you feel about it and reach a compromise.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Dear Batman lover,
I can understand how you feel; young teenaged boys are so easily embarrassed.
When mom feeds the baby in public is she unbuttoning her shirt and opening her bra and exposing herself or is she being discreet…. I once was sitting in a mall on a bench (in the mall NOT a bathroom as I don’t eat in a bathroom and neither will my children) I was nursing my son… an older woman came up to me and started talking to me… we were talking about the baby… he had a full head of hair and she touched his hair (and I did not mind) and just at that second he gave a large SLURP…. And she drew back and laughed and said “OH MY he’s NURSING”… here is a woman who had breastfed her OWN babies and knew what it looked like and she had NO CLUE I was nursing the baby…. My point is that nursing can be very discrete to the point that almost NO ONE knows what you are doing if you do it right… are you embarrassed on principle or because she’s exposed?
If she’s very discrete then I’m sorry I fear your embarrassment is yours. I mean the baby has to eat… what should she do?
Why would she want to do it in public? DO you eat in public? Why or why not? OH because you’re HUNGRY? Right… Baby is hungry. Baby needs milk.. Milk is in the breast… YOU don’t eat in the bathroom why should your little brother??
What about it is so embarrassing? Perhaps the thought that she did this with you?
And pray tell me WHAT about a mother feeding her child is so disgusting?
I’m afraid there is no way you can make her stop….
Until I know if she’s being discrete or whipping it out I can’t give you further advice.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Funny how everybody loves boobs and everybody loves babies and as soon as you put the first next to the second everybody goes : " Eeew, yuck, gross " :).
Relax, it's not such a big deal.
In my country , breastfeeding in public is less commmon than it used to be ( I guess it's the globalization- we get not only the Starbucks and Foot Lockers but all the Anglosaxon hang ups about the human body :) but it still happens and it does not rise eyebrows. First, it's not a major production as you make it sound, the woman just sits in a quiet corner of the room or park or where she happens to be, with a towel or scarf across her shoulder , it's really not as if she were flashing her boobs in the middle of Times Square ; second, my fellow citizens are notouriously very sensitive to the female shape and big oglers- yet nobody, really nobody would stare at a breastfeeding woman or look at her with anything but respect and tenderness. I have no reasons to think that Canadians are different, but if they are, they need to change, and fast.
I understand very well though that a boy in your sensitive , hormonal age does not particularly want to be confronted with her mother's naked breasts , fair enough. Just don't look or remove yourself a few steps, what would you want , that your mom and baby brother should stay cooped up at home all day long, so that you don't have to be embarassed ?... If this is really gnawing at you, you can confide in her, tell her about her discomfort, she 'll understand, she is your mom, - she may be able to reassure you, or at least she will remember to be very discreet , and bring with her a LARGE scarf, when you are out with baby.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Tell her you find it embarrassing and that you'd rather not go to public places with her if she's going to do that.
But, once you grow up into an adult you'll come to see this isn't something anyone dies of out of embarrassment. It's normal. Tons of moms do this. And equally it is normal for a teenager to be completely embarrassed about near everything their parents are doing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): This was actually a fairly amusing read. In particular the comments - women all know what's going on but men need to have a child of their own before they realise how much nonsense the whole 'confining it to the home' really is!
Women have breasts to feed babies (it is the best form of nutrition and bonding), babies need food almost every other hour or so, mothers can therefore stay at home all day everyday or they can get things done by breast feeding while they are out.
It will usually gross boys and men that are not parents out - they learn when they become fathers how important it is and that breasts are not just for decoration!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): A teenage boy who asked this absolutely reasonable question. With that said, I have to agree with the OP about public breasfeeding, especially if a mother doesn't cover herself. A boob is a boob, wether you feed a child or just exposing yourselfI'm embarrassed when my friend is breastfeeding her baby in public. She hardly cover herself explaining that a baby needs air.Her breast is huge with blue lines all over and a huge dark nipple. I don't like looking at it, tell you the truth, I don't care how natural it is.Sometimes of course if baby is crying, you must feed it, but at least cover yourself with a light napkin!I see how people stare at her, and some shaking their heads. It's also natural to have sex, but we don't do it in public.I breast fed all my kids before I went out. Sometimes they didn't have enough in one sitting, so I needed to breast feed them when I was out, but I always was at least trying to find a secrue spot, like rush to my car or sit with my back to public. My friend on opposite stops where she is in a middle of a street and breasfeeds. I told her once that she should cover herself and she got defensive with me. It's not like I'm not a mother myself, and don't understand.I don't think there is anything else you can do, but tell her, just be nice about it. If your mother cares that u are embarrassed she ll do something about it. Teenagers are often embarrased by their parents, but in this case something can be done at least. Good luck.
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female
reader, curious1987  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Women have the right to breast feed in public. As most the others have said, its the natural mother nature thing to do. i see women breast feeding all the time in my county in public, on the bus, at cafes.no one cares. Maybe our country is more laid back, but judging by the others, i'd say its the norm every where here
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Breast is best for both mother and baby; it promotes health, immunities are passed along as well so baby misses a few colds along the way and it promotes bonding. I am sure, that when you think about it, you want the same thing for your brother that you got as well - the best possible start to make you grow up big and strong. If your brother is hungry, she can feed him ANYTIME because she is female, and that's primarily what the breast is for.
We get that YOU think it's gross, and that's because you are starting to associate boobs and sex - but let's face it - you probably get upset when she walks beside you in the mall. AND, like most Moms, I'm pretty sure she is covering the whole event with a blanket and not whipping a boob out in public - so you are being too sensitive that someone might be looking and thinking how this could reflect on you if someone you knew saw her feed your brother.
This is "Me" thinking, and a little selfish. This is Not the sign of an independent young man who understands the importance of the feeding and of your Mom and brother, more like a child would think... "I want my Mom to do what I want her to do, regardless of the consequences to my brother."
If you REALLY want to be embarrassed, just be damn thankful she doesn't get fed up with your attitude and yell at the top of her lungs -
"HEY - I used to feed him this way!"
- which is what would have happened in our house. (My husband would be the person yelling out that kind of embarrassing statement.) He does that kind of thing in airports when our kids are embarrassed - "HEY - He's with ME!!!" - So look on the bright side - things could be worse! lol
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male
reader, Charter114 +, writes (26 June 2012):
Look y'all, if the baby is hungry, she's gonna feed it. In public, it doesn't matter. At home it doesn't matter. That's what they're for, and I know it's awkward at your age, but don't ask her to stop. Believe me, if the baby is crying, sometimes it's much better to just feed it. Take an anatomy, or sex Ed class and they'll explain why. It has a lot to do with hormones. Just don't get too embarrassed. Your wife will probably do the same thing someday...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Does your mother cover herself when she does it? If you are polite you could ask her to. I know nursing seems gross to you and embaressing especially since its your mom, but its very good for the baby. Im 23 and have two boys, 2 and 1yrs old. I tried to nurse my first and nursed my second for 3 months. I have been in situations where ive had to nurse in public, i just covered myself. I also tried to do it where there werent a lot of people. You cant make her stop nursing in public, but you can suggest more discreet ways and places to nurse. Your mom wants whats best for your brother and im sure she did it with you also.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Is this a joke?! Did you honestly think boobs exist just so men can stare at them or as decoration? They are for feeding babies.
If it's such a problem then walk away and don't look.
"at least confined to the home, where other family members present can retire to another room if they wish."
Because babies never get hungry while people are out? Should women stay "confined to the home" to be sure they never have to miss a feeding?
Seriously, dudes who get offended by breast-feeding, our breasts do not exist for men they exist for babies. Get over it.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Honey, why do you think women have boobies? Really? To feed the young!!
If you are embarrassed tell her and walk away, give her some privacy. I seriously doubt she is whipping the boob out in front of everyone. Most women nurse fairly discretely. However, I understand with your age it can be embarrassing, but face fact. It's PRETTY darn natural.
You need to get over it. Sorry.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 I live in a place where some mothers breastfeed while at mass. No kidding. It is the most natural thing in the world, wonderful for creating a bond, et cetera, and yet sometimes it is extremely inappropriate (at least the way it is done here; details are left to the imagination of the reader). So I understand where the poster is coming from, but there is nothing he can do about it. He may tell his mother about it, and he most likely be reprimanded. His mother does not feel she should do it more discreetly.
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male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (26 June 2012):
 I can understand you perfectly. These days, there is no need for blatantly breastfeeding in public and those that do it, I am sure do it as some kind of show-off gesture - "I'm doing this because I CAN!".
It should be a private time between mother and baby - at least confined to the home, where other family members present can retire to another room if they wish.
A word with mum is in order, explaining the embarrassment that you feel. And if she persists, next time, walk away, go window shopping. She may eventually understand that you have feelings too.
Good luck.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (26 June 2012):
Talk to your mom in a mature manner and suggest to her if she can do it less in public.
A lot of Aunts will comment about the breast feeding but the OP's concern is the public issue of Breast feeding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Just so you can see it from a guys point of view as well, past two are right, come on man, be mature.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world...it is not disgusting. I can see if your mom does not cover your brother with a blanket or something how it would bother you to see her breast. I understand that. If you are that embarrassed by it, find something to do or look away while she is feeding your brother. If you have a good relationship with your mom, you might even be able to talk to her about this and she might be able to be a little more discreet about it.
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