A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm an 18 year old University student. This is going to make me sound lame, but I didn't date much in High School. I mean I had plenty of opportunities and 1 or 2 flings, but no real relationships.Lately I've been getting close to this guy and I think we may make it official soon. The only thing is he's older. Not by much, he's in his early/mid 20s and we've known one another for a while.Everyone in my life supports it, there are no problems there. But, my mom raised a good point today...she said she's worried because when it comes to dating I'm extremely inexperienced. She said she's concerned that I'm going to be dating him, because "Dating a MAN is a lot different than dating a BOY." and since I didn't have much with any boys, she's worried that I'm going to get hurt/taken advantage of by jumping into a relationship with an older guy.Is there a huge difference between dating a "man" and a "boy"? I don't mean things like "They're thinking of marriage and kids," but normal every day relationship things. Is this a bad idea, since I haven't really dated boys my own age yet?Any thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Really, from my past expeirences of dating, give him a shot. u never now till u try. I mean, even though im only 16, but if u like his personality, u both get along very well, and havent fought yet, shoot for the stars. Even if u haven't dated alot in high school, its somewhat better if u start with a midly older guy. Most of the teens think about sex, and most of them just put on a play mood, so ur parents think he is a good guy. but, hey..what can i say, im 16..and ur 18...we could be thinking of totaly different things. just what i think. thanks for reading.
A
female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (9 February 2007):
 It's understandable where your mom's coming from. She's scared you're going to be too vulnerable because you haven't dated very much and because he's a little older then you and probably more experienced.
Relationships can bring with it a lot of heartache and pain (cheating on you, making you do things you don't want to do-maybe you might feel you have to because you're dating). On the other hand it can totally complete you. So there are a lot of good and bad things about dating.
You just have to teach yourself not to be vulnerable, and to forget about the fairy tale "happily ever after" because in reality there's no such thing. Your mom might be afraid that you going to expect dating to be wonderful with no problems-a relationship is hard work and it's not always a bed of roses. Your mom's just concerned that you're going to get hurt and that you're not mentally and emotionally ready for it.
Just prepare yourself and remember a man his age might also expect a sexual relationship-so prepare yourself and never do anything you not ready for.
Don't give up on the idea of having a happy relationship with this guy-it sounds like you guys have already started a pretty good friendship so work on it to turn it into a romantic one.
Good luck sweetie, I hope everything works out
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 There's not that many years between you. Women are usually more mature than men when they're younger and that's why they prefer to date men a little older than themselves. When you dated boys in the past, you yourself were just a girl. Now you're dating a "man" you've grown into a young "woman" yourself so it should even out.
I certainly don't think you have anything to worry about, just enjoy being together and get to know one another better.
Eve
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