| A
male
age
36-40,
*fwolves78
writes: Hey everyone i would appreciate it if you guys would help me decode a very difficult girl because it is essentially ruining my life at the moment. she put us on a "break" a month ago and says she doesnt want anything "serious".. after a 2 year serious relationship she decides this. i ask her if there is she sees us being together in the near future and she says "i dont know".. i ask her if she likes anyone else and she says "i dont know".. a 2 year relationship sums up to her claiming she doesnt know anything. she doesnt know what she wants, she says she doesnt have answers for me because she doesnt have answers for herself. in the mean time, she is hanging out with a lot of guys and has been making out with numerous people and has been lying about it.. she says she still has feelings for me. is it bad that everytime we talk, "us" is all i want to talk about and we end up fighting. i tell her all i want to know is if she likes other people so i can move on but instead she keeps me here waiting while she "doesnt know"... i dont understand and its driving me crazy. how do u not know? after 2 years wouldnt u know if u wanted to be with someone or not? thanks in advanceif she doesnt know if she likes someone else, isnt it obvious that she does if she doesnt say no?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Ok I'll decode. She wants to play the field and keep you on the sidelines waiting too. Not nice. Not good for you. Say goodbye.
And remember she will probably want you back once you have moved on. Don't go back to her. She is not a nice girl, not kind, not committed, not fair.
A
male
reader, saddad  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Trying to get her to talk about it is only going to drive her further away. Especially if you end up arguing.I went through the same thing with a girl when I was 19. We were together for 4 years. If she says she wants time the best you can do is to tell her that she is hurting you, you love her, dont want to lose her and will be there for her if she needs to talk. Maybe put it in a short letter for her? Then leave her alone COMPLETELY. Its very difficult to do because it is the opposite of what you feel. You want her so bad how can you leave her alone? But trust me, its the only way. Let her come back to you. If she contacts you to talk DONT pressure her into talking about your relationship. Play it cool. Desperation is not what any women wants. If it was meant to be it will work out.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 February 2007):
 She does know, she just doesn't want to hurt you. She probably does like someone else and says she doesn't know to let you down gently. You are still very taken with her and 2 years is a long time to be together but she's now decided she doesn't want it any more, wants to spread her wings and move on.
My advice to you love is to let her fly... if she can't at least be honest with you then she's not worth it.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Stop driving yourself crazy over this. Of course she knows. Your gf wants the freedom to have some fun. She doesn't want to be monogamous, she wants to build her ego on how many guys she can date. All her 'I don't know' answers are telling you she has indeed, made the decision that this relationship isn't going anywhere but she can't you the truth and that is why every time you want to talk 'we' to her she doesn't want to discuss it. You are seeking answers and I don't blame you. But it's not getting you anywhere.. She's either 'not going to or is not ready' to tell you anything. She's not 'behaving' like a woman who is committed to you. Hun, I think it's time to face up to that ugly reality. You want someone and something of quality in your life and in your future. She's wants to have a leap at freedom--to get the good stuff without giving back, right now. Stop allowing your emotional pain to over-ride your common sense. You need to move on. It's time for you to say to her 'see ya' and face the pain . But asking her time and time for answers is counterproductive to you and the your ability to move on. I am sorry, dear for your hurt..please take time to heal and recover from this.
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