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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am in love but its all wrong its not like when i was little and love was easy and...... he hits me and then after he is really sorry and he is not a wife beater its just i do things wrong somtimes. I know its all my fault and i know that i should be grateful to him he does love me i know he does. I love him and we have a baby girl. i just wanted help i am feeling really low at the moment Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now we are engaged and have a 5 moth old girl. He is a good guy he works alot. hes supported me since the begining. I would do things to make him mad, then we would fightin the end he hits me,He hurt my leg i had to go to the dr. 1.5 yeas has past i stopped doing what made him made. its not cheating or anything. Its just something he doesnt like in a girl or for me to do. I did that one thing, he came at me right away. we are almost closing on our first house what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): hello my ex boyfriend use to beat me and i even moved across states to not be in that game anymore but i still love him ever night i think of him every morning i wonder what hes doing i wish i could just wake up next too him and see his wonderful smile honestly if you love him dont ever give him up every night i watch the notebook and only pray we meet again and he treats me better i suggest you see counciling and never give up cause trust me no other man will replace your heart. god bless you and just try to go to counciling i pray you and him end up together forever and remember love is something nothing else can replace
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I know what you mean, my man hits me too. actually we hit eachother. He use to never be like this. IN fact he was never like this. I have bipolar and when I get mad I scream and Bitch and get him to the point. He does not punch me in the face but he hits me on the arm or pushes me. hes does not do it so much anymore now that I am seeing a phsycologist and on medication. but now he mostly just calls me names like Bitch, stupid, whore, and dumbass. NOw I hit him and call him names as well. But when we are not fighting we are like best friends and you would never think one bit we were enemies when we fought. its like a love hate relationship sometimes. We love eachother so much and get a long so good. and then we hate eachother and really act like enemies when were mad at eachother, we seriously act like brother and sister fighting. to remind you. he does not hit me at all like he use to. now we just hit eachother on the amrs and legs when we get mad at eachother. like brother and sister. I know its wrong of us but thats how we cope when were mad. please reply back and give me advice on all this.
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female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (26 April 2007):
My ex-husband hit me and threw me up against walls, throttled me etc for 11 years and I married him! I thought it was my mission to change a man who had come from an abusive childhood, that things could be different. My father never hit me and I've never been hit since. This isn't love, this is control and a lack of capability of expressing himself properly. I kicked out my ex-husband, when he hit me in the face when he was holding our child who was 3 at the time. She was screaming. He hit me so hard he knocked me over, my initial reaction was to fight back and I really hit him hard. I will regret doing that for the rest of my life, because I did it in front of our daughter and she remembers it. She always used to stop outside the bathroom and say, that is where you were lying on the floor Mummy when Daddy hit you. I am not sure what kind of relationship you have or of his childhood, but this is the worst thing anyone can do to each other. Don't end up like me with guilt and regret. I lowered myself to him that day and I hate the fact I did back what he did to me. I am better than that and so are you. Get out now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): look im in the same relationship u are to.my boyfriend hits me for no reason at all if i say the wrong thing he goes crazy.but i love him with all my heart.then when he hurts me real bad he will say u made me do this.ive left him before but i always got back with him he told me if i left him again he would do things to me..im not telling u ,u should leave him cuzz im still with mine tell him he should just get help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): i don't really know what to say because i havn't been in a similar relationship. Yesturday my boyfriend that i truly love hit me on my face, not hard but he still did, he also threatened to do other things to me for no big reason. I still love him but im scared of what he is capable of doing. Im only 17 and my boyfriend is 20. I thought i knew him but now i don't know what to do. He sent me a message yesturday saying that he loves me, but he didn't call like i asked him to when i sent him a message telling him how upset i was before. Should i forgive him and see how things go? do you think i should call him if he does not call me today, or should i wait? Like i said i just need some help from a woman that seems real. i think that you really do love him, love can overpower many things. I know that. He broke my heart yesturday and i still in my heart find the space to forguive him. Love is strange. The man was right about what he said, you have a baby girl and when she grows up and sees this, she will wonder. Im scared have you got any advise for me?
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reader, breezer +, writes (8 February 2007):
You have to ask yourself one question, what is a wife beater for you then? Nobody should hit anybody for whatever reason; you do not deserve to be treated this way. You seem terrified of this guy and cannot see what he is doing to you. You need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your baby girl. Think about how is this baby girl going to grow up, watching daddy beating mummy every other day, and thinking is he going to beat me next?
If you decide not to get out of this relationship, as you don’t sound as you are willing to help yourself, at least ask him to seek advice to help him control himself. But really you should be out of this relationship as soon as possible.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): The last thing you need is a boyfriend who hits you everytime you do something wrong. He shouldn't be hitting you at all. No matter how much he says that he loves you you need to get out of this relationship now, before it gets even worse. You and your daughter are not safe with this man so the best thing that you can do is break up with him.
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 February 2007):
 A man has absolutely no excuse for hitting a woman, even if she DOES do things wrong sometimes. He's perfect yes? You seem terrified of this man and you don't know what to do about it. Your confidence and self esteem are at an all time low too so you are frightened to leave him as you don't think you'll be able to go it alone am I right?
Here is a link that talks about domestic violence, read over it and take in what it says.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/domestic_violence/index.shtml
There is help out there for you love, you don't need to suffer in silence and you don't have to let him have control over you the way he is.
It will only get worse. When he's angry he takes it out on you and wants to hurt you, he may even begin to hurt your daughter too to get back at you and I'm sure you don't want that. Read the link too about building up your confidence again. You ARE a good person and a loving mother and you deserve so much better than this guy.
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
He'll only get more aggressive as time goes on, I'm sure you know that and one day he might just hit you too hard and you could end up in hospital or worse still... a coffin!
Read the links and get out! There IS help out there and it is widely available, all you need to do is ask! There are even shelters you and your daughter can go to, again you will be told that when you go for help. There are phone numbers in the site I gave you, call them. You can do this!
Feel free to email me if you want to talk about this some more love okay?
Eve
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Really? So you do wrong things sometimes, and he hits you, but he isn't a wife beater, and he apologized every time afterwards. I say Max, this makes it totally okay. However, I do suggest to Ms. 26-29 Anon to wear a helmet, some extra padding - maybe a thicker jacket, some goalie pads, and maybe goggles to protect your eyes next time, just before you feel he will beat you up again. Maybe even reward him with some bondage and rough bleeding anal sex afterwards for helping to straighten you out for doing wrong things.
Definitely.
[sighs]
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female
reader, tinklinglaughter +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Omg, I feel really bad reading some of the "advice" below. But you know, you really shouldn't let him treat you like that. I mean, what do you do that's so wrong that you think you should be hit for it?? It is never justified. Never. And it does not seem like it will ever get better. Maybe you're not strong enough to leave him, but you need to realize that if he really loved you he would not hit you at all! You can't let him treat you this way. Does he give you bruises? DO you like making up reasons for how you got them? I'm sure you don't. People around you, your friends, family, those who see you regularly probably know how you got those bruises. And that's not a good thing. Why stay in an abusive relationship like this? Why subject yourself to this? Please try to get some counseling, they will guide you properly. Please do something to make your own life better and your little girl's. Anon below is right, that's going to be a terrible environment for her to grow up in. Walk out of this, for both of you!
Take care, sweetheart..I hope you have the courage you need.
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (8 February 2007):
 You're totally whacked lady... if you dont wanna leave him then I have only one piece of advice for you. Get grissle on your bones so they get stronger and hurt less. You can take ten times as many hits that way. Oh and definitely get used to being a punch bag, that'll really help. Dont forget to make funeral arrangements and complete a will. That way your buttwipe boyfriend can have one hell of an easy time moving on after he beats you to death. Have fun being a doormat!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007): there is no excuse for this type of guy get rid a.s.a.p your worth more than that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007): i have 2 questions for you:
would you hit him if he did the 'wrong thing' that he hits you for?
what kind of example do you think you are setting for your daughter?
if i were you, i would leave. it will be hard, but in the long run you will be stronger. if necessary, get a restraining order on him.
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