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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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He doesn't know what he wants in the future, one minute he wants to travel, then he wants kids then changes his mind...
Q. I've been going out with a lovely guy for 3 years. we even spent a year trravelling in Asia together. We get on really well but I don't know if he will ever commit to me? I don't even want to get married I just want to know that he thinks we have ...
A. 20 March 2007: Let him know you love him and you'll move as quickly or as slowly as he'd like. The fact of the matter is you want to be with him but want to know what he's looking for in the future.
Eve... (read in full...)
It's as if he's leading two seperate lives!
Q. I have been dating this man for 2 years. I have some suspicion that he's seeing other people. We have both agreed that we would not see other people and this was a serious relationship. I am concerned because he hides his cell, when he's not with ...
A. 18 March 2007: Again, you need to redefine your boundaries with him. Ask him if he has anything to hide from you, if he says no then ask him to hand his phone over. If he says no, you have your answer! Then it's up to you to decide whether to stay with him or ... (read in full...)
Im 16 and not sure if my teacher is flirting with me or not!!?
Q. hey guys.. so i'm sixteen years old and I'm confused about the way that a teacher of mine has been acting. I cannot decipher if the way he stares at me in the hallways is flirting or what. He was my teacher last yr and I did have a lot of problems...
A. 18 March 2007: Teachers and pupils (at least while they're being taught by that teacher) DO NOT MIX! It's like someone asking the question "should I continue seeing this married man?"
1. Married men are out of bounds
2. Teachers are out of bounds
No matter... (read in full...)
Im not sure If I trust my bf or not, am I right to be doubting him ?
Q. Im confused. I trust my b/f well at least i think i do. ive been with him for just over two months now. we have quite an open relationship where neither of us really are bothered if we find someone else fit etc. well anyway, i get told that he's a ...
A. 18 March 2007: Redefine your boundaries with him, plain and simple! At the moment you said yourself you have quite an "open" relationship so these girls are just part and parcel of that. Sit with him and talk about what you both want from a relationship ... (read in full...)
My husband of just a couple of months is behaving unreasonably jealous all the time and its causing the marriage to go downhill!!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for a couple months already we are having problems. He is getting way too jealous and I am not guilty for any of the things he is jealous about. I don't know what to do our marriage is going down hill and I try ...
A. 18 March 2007: What sort of things does he get jealous about? Has he always been this way or has he got worse since you've been married?
Eve... (read in full...)
My bf of 3 years, could have hidden sexual desires for men! What do I do !?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we really love each other and have never had any bad patches. Then he went out one night and got really drunk and kissed another guy, who was his close friend. He says he can't actually remember this, but has ...
A. 18 March 2007: Sit down with him when you are both relaxing and ask him what it is about men that turns him on. Try and get him to open up to you. When was his first experience with a man? How did it make him feel? Does he miss it? What did he like the best ... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid?
Q. Am I being paronoid? I met this guy almost 3 months ago. When we are together it's great and when we get to talk on phone we can talk for ages. The problem is he has his own company and works loads i might see him once a week if im lucky sometime...
A. 18 March 2007: Yes, I agree not to be too available the minute he's free. Let him see that you have a life too and you're not sitting there waiting for him to ring all the time. He probably is genuinely busy but hey... he should never be too busy to show the ... (read in full...)
What is this burning pain on the inside of my vagina?
Q. When I have sex with my boyfriend I get a burning pain on the inside of my vagina at the top of the front. He's not particularly large and we always make sure I am really wet and we also use lubricant to try and help but the pain just wont go away. ...
A. 18 March 2007: It sounds like some sort of infection to me and if that's the case it won't clear without antibiotics. I suggest you go and see your GP and ask them to have a look at it for you, it could be something really minor and will stop you worrying. If it ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your best friend of nearly 10 yrs that you're deeply in love with her and that she's your whole world?
Q. How do you tell your best friend of nearly 10 yrs that you're deeply in love with her and that she's your whole world. How do I make her comfortable about it all? How will I know when the right time is to tell her? What sort of place or position ...
A. 18 March 2007: Let her know you care very deeply for her and would love to ask her out on a proper date. See what she says, who knows she might feel exactly the same way and just doesn't know how to tell you. There's no special time or place to do this, just ask ... (read in full...)
What are the signs if someone loves you?
Q. Hello I am 12 and I really want to know how you know if somebody loves you. What are the signs? ...
A. 18 March 2007: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
She's just broken up with me and I just feel so alone now...
Q. Please help I've never been this low in my life. My partner of 13 years has just dropped the bombshell she does not love me any more. She was 17 when we met, I was 21. For about the past two years she has been going out with friends from her...
A. 18 March 2007: First of all you need to go and get help for your phobia. You are young and you should be enjoying life just now. You have the ability to do anything you want to and this involves interacting with people. Do you want to be a hermit for the rest ... (read in full...)
I feel like I cant trust him, he lied that he wasnt smoking then I caught him!!
Q. My boyfriend promised me if I continued the relationship he would stop smoking. Since then he has denied smoking when I have confronted him about smelling of smoke. I explained that I would not be cross if he had been smoking but I didn’t want him ...
A. 18 March 2007: Then come to a compromise about it. If he's out with you then you'd prefer if he didn't smoke. If he's out with his mates and wants to smoke then that's up to him! You can't control a person and MAKE them do something, they've got to want to do ... (read in full...)
My Grandad passed away, mum moved out to my Nans and told dad she isnt coming back!! What do I do, Im in so much turmoil!?
Q. Hi everyone, im in desperate need of some advice, as i feel my whole world is being turned up side down. My grandad was taken into hospital a few weeks ago, we were told he was fine, then a few days later we were told he had six months to a year...
A. 18 March 2007: Okay, the fact she's told you she's been thinking of leaving your dad means they HAVE been having problems right? She didn't use your grandad's death as an excuse to leave him. Was it her dad that died? This would have been very overwhelming for ... (read in full...)
Her business is floundering and she says she needs some space. Is she just brushing me off?
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for 3.5 months, she's a few years older than me and she says she love me and wants a future together. I also met some of family too. Towards end of February her business started doing quite badly and as a res...
A. 18 March 2007: If her business is going under then she'll definitely be worried and want to put all her efforts into making it successful again. She'll be stressed out to the max just now in case her business goes under so I would hang in there. I don't think ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me too but she has a boyfriend!
Q. I'm in love with this girl named Mari. We've been friends for a while, and then we started having feelings for one another. She says that she's in love with me, too. The problem is, she has a boyfriend, and she loves him too. They've been together ...
A. 18 March 2007: Do you want a sexual relationship with this woman? Have you ever been in a sexual relationship before with a woman? IS she bi?
Eve... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid?
Q. Am I being paronoid? I met this guy almost 3 months ago. When we are together it's great and when we get to talk on phone we can talk for ages. The problem is he has his own company and works loads i might see him once a week if im lucky sometime...
A. 18 March 2007: How often ARE you together with him? Where did you meet him? HOW did you meet him? Have you ever been to his home? Has he ever been to yours? Do you live by yourself? From the information you've given, he doesn't feel the same way you do about ... (read in full...)
Is this love? What IS love?
Q. What is love? I'm 27 annd still cant say if I have truly been in love. What do you feel? I asked a question about a guy ive started seeing. About me not seeing him much due to work. I cry sometimes I miss him so much when I see his picture I go ...
A. 18 March 2007: Does the guy you're seeing have these same feelings for you? How long have you been seeing one another? You are definitely very smitten with him and miss him very much but love is a two way thing and he must reciprocate these feelings to you too. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about his welfare and the state of our relationship!
Q. Hi, Im 17 and have been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months - we have a brilliant relationship but ive been really worried about him recently - and i need some advice on how to support him. Basically we've both got our 'big' exams this year ...
A. 18 March 2007: He seems to be putting more effort into the cadets than his relationship or his school work and only HE can change this. You said he's bright so he does have the ability, he just needs to use it! You both hardly see one another as it is so maybe ... (read in full...)
Should I move on with my life or hang around a little longer hoping he may still change?
Q. I have been in a relationship with someone for 18 years. We have lived together that long. We have two children. I have always loved him, but, he has never worried about what makes me happy. I have tried in the past to talk to him about it but he ...
A. 18 March 2007: He doesn't think there is a problem so he'll never change! It's up to YOU to let him know how unhappy you are in your relationship with him. He needs a wake up call big time!!! Let him know you feel invisible, unloved and taken for granted, so ... (read in full...)
I find it shameful to look at people whom I do not find attractive.
Q. I find it shameful to look at people whom i do not find attractive. And when i do look at them, some of them start thinking about themselves as being amazing. Also i have this concept in my mind that i should always looks at people with love in my ...
A. 18 March 2007: How do you know when you DO look at someone you don't find attractive that they think they're amazing? How do you know this? lol Do they tell you???
If you look at people attractive OR unattractive with love in your eyes then you are putting ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she care that he raped me?
Q. My mum HATES my sisters boyfriend for cheating. But shes still good friends with my rapist. I just dont understand it, my sisters boyfriend has been cheating on her and staying out all night. Leaveing her to look after to kids. And she absolutely ...
A. 18 March 2007: What happened when you went to the Police about it? Was he charged? You are coming into adulthood now and you have come through this, so well done there, I am very proud of you. You are obviously a strong person. Now, because you're older you ... (read in full...)
My Grandad passed away, mum moved out to my Nans and told dad she isnt coming back!! What do I do, Im in so much turmoil!?
Q. Hi everyone, im in desperate need of some advice, as i feel my whole world is being turned up side down. My grandad was taken into hospital a few weeks ago, we were told he was fine, then a few days later we were told he had six months to a year...
A. 18 March 2007: I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad and the fact your mom went to stay with your nan for good. Your mom and dad have obviously been having troubles in your marriage and your grandad dying has brought it all to a head for her. Everyone in your ... (read in full...)
I feel like I cant trust him, he lied that he wasnt smoking then I caught him!!
Q. My boyfriend promised me if I continued the relationship he would stop smoking. Since then he has denied smoking when I have confronted him about smelling of smoke. I explained that I would not be cross if he had been smoking but I didn’t want him ...
A. 18 March 2007: Your boyfriend lied to you about the smoking issue as he didn't want to be belittled. Stopping smoking is a very difficult thing to do. He WANTS to stop so that's a good thing. Maybe you could help him out a little, buy him patches, or smokers ... (read in full...)
Why do I always take it to heart when something bad happens to someone?
Q. Why do I take it to my heart when something bad has happened to someone, like say a broken relationship due to sex or some other problem. I feel as if it is also going to happen to me some day and I have to think about it beforehand. So majority of ...
A. 18 March 2007: You need to start thinking more POSITIVE thoughts rather than negative ones. Our bodies are made up of molecules as is the universe. If you continue to think negatively then negative molecules will build up in your body and the negative molecules ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do for the best here, stay together or break up?
Q. I want to go back out with him but I'm afraid that we are just going to keep breaking up. we've been going off and on for about 2 years and I've asked you several questions before and the answers really helped! Anyway should I just go back out with...
A. 18 March 2007: You are both very young to be anything more than special friends just now, anything more only complicates things. Go out with him as a friend say twice a week max (any more will mean you will probably argue). That way too, you'll both look forward ... (read in full...)
I really like him and I know he likes me but I don't know what to do about it.
Q. Sorry to be long, but some background info may help. it was about 6 months ago, I met this guy at work. I was only working there for two weeks and we got on straight away. On the penultimate day, he asked me to accompany him on some business, I...
A. 18 March 2007: I would let him know that you really like him and want to keep in touch. Tell him that his new job was bad timing but if he wants, he can come and see you some weekends, you'd like that and maybe you could come and see him too. If you continue to ... (read in full...)
Do you think he will ever get over this and will he ever trust me again?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend now for about six months now, but on xmas eve last year I kissed another lad who I work with. I like this other lad a lot but love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him again and since xmas eve our relationship has ...
A. 18 March 2007: I think his ex is bad mouthing you and putting ideas into his mind. Only by your ACTIONS will you be able to prove to him you're loyal to him and you aren't interested in anyone else. Go out of your way and do nice things for him.
Leave... (read in full...)
I switched her contraceptive pill with sugar pills and now she's pregnant and crying all the time, I feel so guilty now, should I come clean and tell her what I did?
Q. [Moderator Note: If you don't have anything helpful to suggest then don't waste your time replying] Hi, I did something stupid, please don't judge. Right well, I've been with my girlfriend Vanessa for about 4 years now. I'm 32, she's 25. Ev...
A. 18 March 2007: What advantage do you think telling her will bring? N O N E!!! It will only make everything ten times worse. She's crying because her priorities are now very different. Whether she chooses to have the baby is entirely up to her but I personally ... (read in full...)
I have such strong feelings for my girlfriend and would be devastated if she left me, the feeling overwhelms me sometimes.
Q. I'm not sure if this is a problem or not but, does anyone else feel like this.....? I'm in love with my girlfriend so much, we have been going out for a year and a half and I find myself thinking about her when we're apart. If she ever left I would ...
A. 18 March 2007: I'm glad you and your girlfriend are so happy together. Enjoy what you have together. You are selfless and true love IS selfless. You're also a bit insecure about yourself but you don't have to be. Don't worry in your relationship, enjoy what ... (read in full...)
He says our relationship is moving too fast, should I back off or what?
Q. Thanks in advance to any who answer here. I have been seeing this guy for a momth or so. He recently told me that he comes with too much baggage as his mother is dying of cancer...he feels stressed and he does not want to lead me on and does not ...
A. 18 March 2007: If his mother is dying of cancer then he WILL be stressed and nothing in his future will be certain at the minute, especially a relationship. He's only being honest with you but I wouldn't back off regarding friendship. Be there for him as a ... (read in full...)
How can I stop liking this married guy?
Q. Hi guys! I'm hoping for some advice on the following problem. Basically I'm 22 and work as a receptionist at the front of house of a big office block. There is a guy who is the boss of one of the companies which works in our offices who is in his ...
A. 18 March 2007: If I were you I'd enjoy the attention but don't let the flirting get out of hand. Remember, he's married and rule number one is "Don't get involved with a married man." You also need to remember that you're in a relationship too. Think to ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy in my marriage and don't know whether to stay or leave...
Q. I have been married almost 5 years but we have been together for 10, we have a child together. Lately I am just not happy with anything in our reletionship he tries really hard, but he just talks to me and I roll my eyes, I never want to have sex ...
A. 17 March 2007: Can you tell me some specifics about why you're not happy? Are you having money worries? Does he not pay you enough attention? Do you feel hard done by? Are you unhappy with yourself? Do you lack confidence and self esteem? Do you never get ... (read in full...)
What does this "Guy" want from me? Why did he put me here????
Q. I've had it with this guy I do the right things in life, and all I see is the people who do wrong and not live God like get everything they want. I mean what does this guy want from me, if he doesn't like me then why would he put me on this earth ...
A. 17 March 2007: I want you to watch this movie for me (and for yourself.) It's called "The Secret". It costs $4.95 (£2.50) to watch immediately from your own PC. This movie will help answer your questions much better than I ever could. Watch it then get back to ... (read in full...)
I have been married for nearly 2 years now and my husband and I are having a lot of problems.
Q. I have been married for nearly 2 years now and my husband and I are having a lot of problems. He keeps saying that I should behave like a wife and when I ask him what I am doing wrong he doesn't tell me and there are so many other issues too wher...
A. 17 March 2007: I need some more information from you, how does he WANT you to behave? What are some of the other issues? Has he always been this way or has this only begun recently? Are you on any medication at all? Do you have any of a family?
Eve... (read in full...)
I've met someone who is very caring but feel too guilty to break up with my lad.
Q. I've been wit my bfriend for 2 years, we have a baby together but I hardly see him and he is bit of lad and not very caring, but can be sometimes, he never wants to do nothing part from pub. I've recently met someone else who is alot more mature and ...
A. 17 March 2007: Jeeeezus, I just read your other post AFTER I typed my reply. He is no good for you and the sooner you break with him the better. He's only holding you back then trying to get on your good side saying he still loves you. He doesn't love you, he ... (read in full...)
He fingered me and I noticed I was bleeding afterwards. What's wrong with me????
Q. I just got fingered by my boyfriend, we have had sex a few time before but this time when I got home I found blood and we didnt have sex. I can't go to the doctors because I'm not allowed to be doing this. I'm really scared and would love it if ...
A. 17 March 2007: First of all you are too young to be doing things like this but of course you know that! It could be that he had a ragged fingernail and that's what's caused you to bleed. It could also be that your hymen (the thin membrane at the opening of the ... (read in full...)
She has difficulty with intimacy due to sexual experiences in her past.
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months has a lot of difficulty with intimacy with men, due to the fact that she has had bad sexual experiences in the past. She is bisexual and finds it easier to relate to women, but at the same time she tells me she loves me ...
A. 17 March 2007: Eight months is a long time and she should know you fairly well by now to trust you. Does she not try to kiss you or to cuddle you? Do you have any form of physical contact at all? What happened with these men in the past that were so awful? She ... (read in full...)
I've met someone who is very caring but feel too guilty to break up with my lad.
Q. I've been wit my bfriend for 2 years, we have a baby together but I hardly see him and he is bit of lad and not very caring, but can be sometimes, he never wants to do nothing part from pub. I've recently met someone else who is alot more mature and ...
A. 17 March 2007: Tell your boyfriend you feel invisible and a bit neglected and would love if you could both spend some quality time together. You are at home watching the baby while he's out with his mates right? He has to realise that he has responsibilities too ... (read in full...)
He said he is bored in the relationship, how can I make the relationship more interesting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months now. The beginning was amazing, but after 6 months we knew so much about each other that nothing was new or exciting. I love him with all my heart and he loves me too. But he's continued to ...
A. 17 March 2007: Be spontaneous with him! Plan outings together, places you've never visited before. You could also play a game for example: put a sticker on his forehead with your favourite food on it, he puts a sticker on your forehead with his favourite food, ... (read in full...)
Recently I've been wanting my boyfriend to physically and emotionally abuse me and I don't understand why???
Q. I need help, lately I have found myself falling out of love with my boyfriend, although he is the greatest guy in the world and I dont understand why. But the worrying thing is that I have recently wanted him to physically and emotionally abuse me, ...
A. 17 March 2007: It may be that you haven't been getting much attention from him lately and provoking an argument is ONE way of getting his full attention. Please don't be offended when I ask this but think about it.... are you an attention seeker and arguing or ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know what he wants in the future, one minute he wants to travel, then he wants kids then changes his mind...
Q. I've been going out with a lovely guy for 3 years. we even spent a year trravelling in Asia together. We get on really well but I don't know if he will ever commit to me? I don't even want to get married I just want to know that he thinks we have ...
A. 17 March 2007: You need to sit down with him and tell him exactly what you're looking for from this relationship. You have said you don't want to get married anyway so I don't really see where the problem lies? I think he's the way he is because he doesn't know ... (read in full...)
I am scared I will never be number one in his life...
Q. Me and my boyfriend fight all the time we can't agree on any thing. But I love him so much. When I am around him I feel something I have never felt before and when he looks in to my eyes i know he is true but I am scared I will never be never be ...
A. 17 March 2007: The best thing you can do here is be yourself! Don't nag your boyfriend over silly little things but show him how much you care about him. Have fun together and laugh instead of arguing. Don't come across as too needy or moan at him all the time ... (read in full...)
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