A
female
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*atzkitten
writes:Im confused. I trust my b/f well at least i think i do. ive been with him for just over two months now. we have quite an open relationship where neither of us really are bothered if we find someone else fit etc. well anyway, i get told that he's a player sometimes and he does things to make me suspicious like delete any texts he recives from other girls and wont let me read them. It makes makes me loose trust but i dont want to because in general i think he is a nice person who wouldnt but things like this make me doubt him. Am i right to doubt him or am i overreacting? help please xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Hi again. I think I understand you a little bit more now, but I still think if its going to work, then you need to agree what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behaviour. DOnt commit yourself to someone who is not willing to appreciate your feelings on unnaceptable behaviour and make sure that you talk to him and make him treat you as an equal in this relationship.
My personal thoughts are that if you are in a loving relationship, the last thing on your mind is the attractiveness of other people, especially at only 2 months in.
A
female
reader, katzkitten +, writes (20 March 2007):
katzkitten is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks but i think you may have gotten the rong idea when i said open relationship, i meant it in more of a we can talk about most things and we can tell eachother when we like someone else. Not nessicary act on it though xxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 March 2007):
 Redefine your boundaries with him, plain and simple! At the moment you said yourself you have quite an "open" relationship so these girls are just part and parcel of that. Sit with him and talk about what you both want from a relationship together. How far is each of you allowed to stray? Texting others? Going out for a drink with others? Sleeping with others? He can't read your mind nor you his so TALK about it!!!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): You said that you have an open relationship which suggests to me that your just together for companionship. Maybe he does receive and send textx from and to other girls. He maybe deletes them because they may upset you to read them. Maybe if you want things to change you should redefine your relationship and see if he can commit to be a one woman man and you likewise.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (18 March 2007):
 To trust your partner is the foundation of all foundations in a relationship! But thats not to say you're wrong in feeling the way you do, because you arent. You're only human and a theres always going to be a bit of jealousy within. However saying that, what you have in your relationship is not worth spoiling over just because you lack trust in yourself, not him! You said yourself you thought he would never cheat, so why let your insecurities ruin the relationship for you? Youve got so much going for you, and its not like hes done something wrong before to make you feel less confident about him and other women, right? Think about this, being jealous sometimes is perfectly normal, but when that causes you to doubt his loyalty and start to blow things out of proportion, thats when the relationship goes sour. Do you really want that?
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