A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months now. The beginning was amazing, but after 6 months we knew so much about each other that nothing was new or exciting. I love him with all my heart and he loves me too. But he's continued to tell me he's bored. He thinks since we always do the same stuff and know each other so well that we don't need to hang out as much cause it's not fun for him. He's going to college next year and I'm afraid to lose him. He's said he wanted to spend his life with me, but then I asked him if he'd leave me for a college girl and he said that he couldnt promise me either way because anything could happen in the next 4 years. I'm really upset but I dont know what to do.How can I make my relationship more interesting? :'(~lostinlove Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): i think he just wants to be a nice guy and not break up with you. maybe he doesnt have anyone out there right now to hook up with so he is stuck with you for the mean time. i can totally tell he's one of those guys that don't want to be mean because he says ' couldnt promise me either way because anything could happen in the next 4 years. ' he could have lied but didn't so he had that moral ground of not wanting to hurt you. but i hate how guys say they ' don't want to hurt their g/f' so they hide certain things like ex sneak talking.
A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Yes it hurts, but he was honest with you; he`s going away to college and like he said, anything could happen in the next four years. Anything could happen for you too in the next four years! I wouldn`t bother too much with making the relationship more interesting for him while he`s still here; I think his thoughts are already somewhere else. You could, if you chose, get some sex toys and manuals to spice things up; but he`ll still be going away for four years, and has already made it clear that anything could happen; he`s being realistic & honest. You have to try to accept this. I think he`s trying, in his own way, to let you down gently, by not spending so much time with you, and saying that four years is a long time and anything could happen. When he goes, please part on good terms, and wish him luck (and mean it); if after four years you`re still together, great, but if you`re not, and this is quite likely, enjoy your fond memories of the time you had together with no sadness in your heart. Kind Regards, Heather.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Be spontaneous with him! Plan outings together, places you've never visited before. You could also play a game for example: put a sticker on his forehead with your favourite food on it, he puts a sticker on your forehead with his favourite food, then you've both to guess what they are. You could do the same but make it a secret you've never told anyone before or a thing you'd like to try out in the bedroom, name your greatest fear or a place in the world you'd most like to visit, the list is endless! I'm sure he doesn't know everything about you and that is a fun way of finding out more about each other. Here are some more ideas -
Try a treasure hunt - The fun begins when you suggest going for a walk on the beach. When you get to the beach, carry a small bag with you. The bag contains a bottle that you prepared earlier. Inside the bottle is a treasure map. To make the treasure map look authentic, burn the edges with a match.
As you are walking, slip the bottle out of your bag and let it drop to the sand near the water's edge. You may have to pause and kiss your partner to do this unnoticed. Walk a little further up the beach then turn around and retrace your steps to 'discover' the bottle. On the map have a dotted line leading from the beach to a nearby cafe. At the cafe, your partner won't know what to look for so suggest that you just sit down and have a cup of coffee.
When the waitress delivers the coffee, she suggests to your partner that she might find what she is looking for under the coaster. When your partner turns over the coaster she finds a key taped to the bottom. Obviously you will have to set this up before hand with the waitress. Most waitresses will be happy to help a romantic guy/girl out with this type of thing.
At the next stop on the map, your partner finds or is given a spade. Then at the last stop on the map your partner finds a large 'X' made up of two crossed sticks. He digs and discovers a locked box. The key unlocks the box to reveal his present. It takes a little thought but I'm sure he'll NEVER find it boring!!!
As a special gift, name a Star after your partner. A number of astronomical agencies allow individuals to name stars and you receive formal documentation identifying the star that you have named. See the following website for details:
http://www.theromantic.com/gifts.htm
On a warm summers night, organize a backyard picnic. Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.
Rent a tandem bike and go for a ride with your partner. At the end of your ride have a picnic in the park.
On a hot summers day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight.
Have a really big pillow fight. Set up for it by buying two pillows that are filled with feathers. Put holes in the pillows so the feathers will start to fly and then attack your partner when you feel the time is right.
Get out into the great outdoors. After a day of hiking, build an open fire. Sit by the fire with your partner, toast marshmallows and watch as the embers of the fire climb into the night sky.
Eve
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A
female
reader, Evangeline +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Heya!
Im in a similar situation with my boyfriend, we're 17 and have been dating for about 10 months, he hasnt said or lead me to believe that he's bored, but long relationships especially at our age can get quite intense. It is realy normal for guys to just loose interest at this age - although its really hurtful and generally mean of them, please dont take it too badly. I thought my last boyfriend was absolutely amazing and was devastated when he lost interest after 6 months, but soon i met this new (not so new any more) guy who is more amazing! So dont worry too much about loosing him, i promise you, you'll meet someone just as wonderful (likely even moreso in the future). There are however a couple of things you can do to keep him interested. why not buy some new clothes of get a new hairstyle - bring something new to the relationship. if your physically intimate with this guy then you could get some new underwhere or fun outfits to spice up your love life (but make sure they are tasteful - and dont go for anything too daring some guys can find it a bit scary - but lacy bra and knickers in a colour like red or purple should be ok) Also dont pester him about whether he's going to leave you for another girl or not! There is nothing that makes men more crazy and frustrated! Keep confident and try not to mention it - i know its hard, i have outbursts of it sometimes!
Why not suggest going on some trips together, for example if the weather is nice, you could go to the beach and have a romantic afternoon throwing each other in the water. If he's into music take him to see a band he likes, wash your parents car and have a massive water fight, if you live near woods go and climb trees together and have sword fights with sticks!
Hope these ideas have helped a bit - they have worked for my relationships when i've had problems like these. But most importantly, be natural, yourself and make it look like spontaneous fun - even if you've been planning it for a week.
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