A
female
,
*vangeline
writes: Hi, Im 17 and have been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months - we have a brilliant relationship but ive been really worried about him recently - and i need some advice on how to support him. Basically we've both got our 'big' exams this year and both of us have found the work load quite tough (as well as the work!!) I have had to sacrifice most of my social things and also the usual extras i do for my school in order to cope with it. He on the other hand hasn't. He has a saturday job for the whole day once a week and every sunday is involved in the combined cadet force. Over the easter holidays (when we're supposed to be working) he is away for the whole holiday involved in the combined cadet force! He just did really badly in an important part of one exam. Hes a really bright guy but he just doesnt have the time to work or most importantly relax and have a break! He's been much less attentive recently to me - which is really unusual for him. Also he told me, he's been falling asleep in some classes (we're at different schools so i have to take his word for it) Things like his sex drive have completely gone as well - which is very unusual for a 17 year old boy! The stress on both of us has also caused us to bicker and annoy one another a bit more - we only see each other once a week so its really upsetting when that time is ruined. i really worried firstly about his welfare and secondly the state of the relationship. Any help would really be appriciated. Thanks.
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 March 2007):
He seems to be putting more effort into the cadets than his relationship or his school work and only HE can change this. You said he's bright so he does have the ability, he just needs to use it! You both hardly see one another as it is so maybe there is something else going on in his life just now that's causing you both to argue. I would have a chat with him and ask him if he still wants to continue with your relationship or does he feel it's run its course.
Eve
A
female
reader, AskChaz +, writes (18 March 2007):
Dear Evangeline,Your question does make a lot of sense as you would be under lots of stress in your posistion and it would be hard to cope with it all. Maybe you should talk to him and ask him if he could take a couple of days off of his duties and call in sick just to have a rest. Anyway if that does not work maybe get really organised and then that way you will not be rushing around everywhere to each appointment, job and lesson.Hope I could helpFrom AskChazP.S Good Luck
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