A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married almost 5 years but we have been together for 10, we have a child together. Lately I am just not happy with anything in our reletionship he tries really hard, but he just talks to me and I roll my eyes, I never want to have sex with him, and I don't know if I should stay for our son or leave and let him find someone who will treat him the way he deserves. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maruechant  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 I don’t know the exact reason why you feel unhappy knowing that your husband is reaching out to you as best as he could. Whatever is the basis of such emotions, I’ll respect it. Yet let me share something...
Love is not based on feelings alone. There must be some sort of giving and nurturing of each other to liven up the marriage. If the relationship is merely based on feelings, relationship could be in deep trouble. Also, one must not “only depend” on the other to experience the “actual love”, and that’s when giving and nurturing enter the scenario. Did both of you try giving each other massages a few months ago or enjoying a certain moment like doing the laundry together? You know what, doing simple activities like those above can really make wonders in a stagnant bond. By doing so, the giving and nurturing give both of you the chance to grow in marriage. I have nothing against you but your husband seems to be willing to communicate his thoughts to you and thus, kindly give him the opportunity to do that, just try. On your side, you must be willing to listen. If not, NOTHING will happen. Will you leave the relationship without the talking? Of course, you shouldn’t. It’s not the ideal way of saying goodbye if ever things could not be settled anymore. So please try to communicate...In a marriage, the more communication is delivered, the more chances a couple can be able to feel the togetherness. BUT before you communicate, start communicating with yourself first, know what's within you and only then you can communicate these feelings to your husband.
If there are really serious issues to be discussed and you can’t share these to us because of some important personal reason/s, the best way is to ask the help of a marriage counselor. God bless.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 You sound unhappy and it almost sounds like you decided you're not worth the effort. If your husband is a good husband, then there is something worth fghting for. Why do you want to give up and what have you done to try and fix things?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): I think you need to ask yourself why your not happy...do some real soul searching. It sounds as if you have a wonderful husband who is concerned and trying to make things better, however, he is confused because YOU are not communicating to him what the "problem" is. Your not having sex because you need to figure out WHAT is the problem and work with it. If you really see that it's something that is just totally non fixable, then I applaud you for thinking of his feelings so that he may find someone that will deserve his love. Your son will need all the love and for him to always know you and his father are always there for him...no matter what is to happen. I do hope you really figure out excatly what it is and try to work it out first before thinking of leaving. Your issue is so different from a couple who have had an affair and I am so glad that you haven't. I really hope you figure out the problem and talk to your husband, it really sounds like you have a great husband who is there for you and willing to help in so many ways. Good Luck to you!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Can you tell me some specifics about why you're not happy? Are you having money worries? Does he not pay you enough attention? Do you feel hard done by? Are you unhappy with yourself? Do you lack confidence and self esteem? Do you never get out with friends? Is your husband lazy? Talk to me!
Eve
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