A
female
age
41-50,
*onfusedgirlx
writes:I've been wit my bfriend for 2 years, we have a baby together but I hardly see him and he is bit of lad and not very caring, but can be sometimes, he never wants to do nothing part from pub. I've recently met someone else who is alot more mature and caring, I really like him but feel too guilty to break up with my b/friend- help, wot shall i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Jeeeezus, I just read your other post AFTER I typed my reply. He is no good for you and the sooner you break with him the better. He's only holding you back then trying to get on your good side saying he still loves you. He doesn't love you, he only loves himself! Get shot of him as soon as you can, you've already been with him too long. He lives with his parents right? If you have your own place then great! What you need to tell him is that it's over, finished, finito!!!! Tell him he's welcome to his ex and his weed and you want nothing more to do with him, you really ARE better off without him love, he'll only bring you misery. He's not mature enough to be a dad to one let alone two babies. He has responsibilities and is shrugging them off, dulling his senses with weed! KICK HIM TO THE KERB and move on...
Eve
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (17 March 2007):
Tell your boyfriend you feel invisible and a bit neglected and would love if you could both spend some quality time together. You are at home watching the baby while he's out with his mates right? He has to realise that he has responsibilities too and the first and most important one is YOU! If you're not happy then he should notice and change that.
Sit down with him and explain to him how you're feeling. If he cares for you enough then he will act on your feelings however if he just says "you'll be fine" and shrugs it off then it may be time to really have a think about your future with him. It might be a good idea to have a break and get to know this other guy better or even just be on your own for a while to think what you really want from life.
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, confusedgirlx +, writes (17 March 2007):
confusedgirlx is verified as being by the original poster of the question We've had soo many arguements about the way he acts and he doesnt seem to understand or think he is doing anything wrong. he never bought any thing for baby and when i was pregnant he never looked after me when i could hardly afford to keep my self going money wise but he was quick enough to help out his ex who he has a kid wit. i hardly c him much because he goes to footy 3times a week or pub , gets drunk at least once a week comes round late expecting me to cook dinner at10/11pm then goes to bed, he never wants to do anything or take me anywhere he is sooooo tight also- well not when it comes to himself. when i was away visiting my mum i found out he went round his exs - because i looked at his phone and there was a message saying her boyfriends gone now if he'd like to go round hes more than welcome - he says it was nothing like i think just having a smoke together ( which i try to make him give up (weed!) - but he wont completly. he discusses me with her when we have arguements and not as i have found texts again. she slags me off and says im a slag basically but i havent cheated till i met this guy and then was only a kiss. im unhappy but dont want to hurt him as i feel guilty - ive tried breaking up numerous times but he says he loves me, cant live witout me, will do somethin stupid and i feel guilty - i love him but i dont think im in love with him anymore- he irritates me being around me and he is uncaring when im ill - doesnt look after baby anytime but has his other kid 3 times a week. when i discuss all this and how im unhappy he says im unreasonable and hormonal and talks to his friends and ex about our private lifa - its out of order all of this and just because he has a kid wit her doesnt mean he should be doing this stuff. i dont see it going anyway and couldnt rely on him to support us- hes always lived with his parents and thinks hes hard done by and has no money even tough he pays no rent or bill and has full-time good money coming in - he moaned when child support said he had to pay money towards baby - yet he pays for his exs sofa and lends her money for her weedhabit - all this he thinks is ok - and keeps it behind my back untill i find out myself from a text on his phone - which he replies well i know u dont llike her soo thats why he does it without telling me but wont anymore etc but does - he thinks im stupid and makes out im unreasonable to others by not saying the full story and it drives me up the wall - i want to be happy and have a life - i dont get out at all as i have noone to look after baby even just to go cinema - well only once in blue moon - its the gulit holding me back and dont know wot to do to make me stronger and finish it - i dont want to make mistake and regret it but he is wrong for me i know - im scared of being alone too if things didnt work out between this new guy
...............................
A
female
reader, xlindax +, writes (17 March 2007):
You are obviously not happy with your relationship, otherwise you would not be thinking about someone else and writing to this website. I think that what you must do first and foremost is to be honest and open and speak to your partner about the situation and how you are feeling. This is a very hard thing to do, but unless you pluck up the courage then you will not be able to move forward and you will effectively be stuck in the rut that you have found yourself in. When you have spoken to him about your feelings you will be able to move forward in one of two ways, either you will be able to reach a compromise with him which will mean that he will do something about changing his ways to try and improve the relationship, or else he will show that he is not willing to change, in which case you will know that the time is right to move on either on your own or with someone else who you are more compatible with. Although you have a baby together, i'm sure that it will be better for your child if you are in a happy relationship with someone, even if it is not the child's father. The most important thing is that you and the baby's father remain on such terms that you can both cooperate to allow your baby to keep a relationship going with both parents.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): tell your b/friend how you feel if he don't care break up with him and go out with the other person but if your boyfriend does care tell him he needs to care for you and your child more.
...............................
|
