A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry to be long, but some background info may help.it was about 6 months ago, I met this guy at work. I was only working there for two weeks and we got on straight away. On the penultimate day, he asked me to accompany him on some business, I did. We talked a lot on our journey and he asked some personal questions (ie when am i likley to get married and about my family). I didn't mind, I felt comfortable. I didn't ask him much, but he told me lots about himself and his family too. He told me to keep in touch and we swapped numbers. On my last day, he told me to see him before I leave, I did, and again just said keep in touch. We didnt speak to each other for few weeks.Then, I went to the office and he was there, we went to lunch with one of his colleagues. the colleague went back to the office, and he had to go somewhere and I went with him. We spoke loads again, I felt so comfortable with him. on the way home all I was thinking was how I'm gonna say bye to him, when we got off the train, he grabbed hold of me and gave me hug (this wasn't a normal hug that I get from anyone) and asked me for dinner the following week, I said I'll call him and we'll arrange something. The following week we went to a recruitment fair together, we didnt go for dinner. When he met me on that day he gave me a hug, and went we were going home, we both made eye contact, and sort of touch each others hands. We then didn't speak for a while.He called me few weeks later, and then we started speaking often. We have arranged a few times to meet but something always happens and it never happens. He has said to me that this always happens.He had a few family issues and I was there for him. He thought his dad had cancer. When his dad got the all clear, he told me straight away. He recently has got a new job, which means he will be moving for few years.I am totally in love with him and I don't want to lose him but I don't know what to do. I can't go with him, coz of other reasons but I do want to tell him how I feel but I don't wanna be rejected from him and lose him. We don't have any mutual friends. Sometimes I think he knows how I feel. He knows when I'm feeling down, we both do flirt on the phone all the time. please help!
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 I would let him know that you really like him and want to keep in touch. Tell him that his new job was bad timing but if he wants, he can come and see you some weekends, you'd like that and maybe you could come and see him too. If you continue to talk and get to know one another then this might just work for you both, I've a good feeling about it.
Maybe in time you could move there to be with him, long way off I know, but it's not impossible. If this is to be it will be, that's what I always say. There is certainly a very strong chemistry between you both. I would definitely let him know you're going to miss him dreadfully and hope he keeps in touch with you.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies. he has on several occasions asked to meet me. first he was busy with his interview preparations and i was in fact helping him with that, even if it was on the fone. and then once he got his job, I had exams so we couldnt meet then either, and he was helping me with my revision. now my exams are over, he has finished working at his current job, and starts his new job next month. So there is about 5 weeks before he goes. I know in those weeks he will be busy moving to his new place, and I totally understand that.As for him liking me back, yeah sometimes I do feel it, but then sometimes I don't. There have been time when we are speaking online and he randomly sends me kisses (but I know most people send kisses online, I send them to my friends, but I send them when I saying bye to them, but he sends them all over). He always wants to know how am I and how my job hunting is going. he always said he doesnt want me to work somewhere, where I gonna not be treated with respect. I know we will keep in contact.Also, he has asked me to meet his sister. obviously, that has not happened. He has said to me, that me and his sister would get on really well as we both are similar. (Well, yeah similar as we both love him. She loves coz that's her bother, and you already know I have feelings for him). but he does not know that, he was talking about our personalities. I would like to meet her.xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I think this is a case of very bad timing, if he wanted to be with you, he would have made those dinner plans or asked you out and actually went through with seeing you, it has been at least 6 months since you met....it took him about 2 seconds to notice you, if he wanted to date you he would have found the time in these past 6 months.
He may like you, but for reaons he has not asked you out on a proper date, and he is leaving for a few years, I think if you told him you loved him, you would be met with a well, I am busy, and I am leaving for a few years....write this one off, and let him go.....if you don't you will just be pining away for him which will keep the love of your life from finding you....this isn't it, he is not available to you, so don't ruin a friendship by telling him that you love him....that is what I would do, but it is your call.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Oh, he knows how you feel if thats what you're asking! He clearly likes you back, reading from what you post. There might be a million and one reasons why he hasn't told you how he feels, but my gut feeling tells me he's thinking exactly the way you are now. Basically I dont think hes sure if you feel the same or was it just over-friendly gestures whenever the both of you flirt. I dont the both of you personally, but my opinion on this is that you initiate the 'feeling' conversation with him. Whats there to lose anyway, its a win win situation if you ask me! If he feels the same way, then alls good (you both could always make special arrangements to meet up at certain times when he moves). If not, at least youve gotten all of this out of your chest and can move on, knowing he doesnt feel the same. Plus, he's going to move anyway, so at least you could reason that the chances of seeing him in out in town with some other lass is very remote! Whatever you do, and I cannot stress this enough, never put your life on hold for him, or anyone for that matter. Good luck.
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