A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend now for about six months now, but on xmas eve last year I kissed another lad who I work with. I like this other lad a lot but love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him again and since xmas eve our relationship has come on leaps and bounds. I felt really guilty about the kiss so decided to tell my boyfriend about it as I didn't want any secrets between us. My boyfriend took it quite well initially, however the first thing he did was text his ex about the situation, which upset me. Now since then my boyfriend keeps blowing hot and cold with me.. one minute telling me he forgives me n that he doesn't want to lose me to then doubting my love for him and that I'm cheating with everyone and considering dumping me. I don't know what to do..I understand I hurt him but it saddens me that he thinks im this slag who just says i love him for the fun of it.Do you think he will ever get over this and will he ever trust me again?
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 March 2007):
 I think his ex is bad mouthing you and putting ideas into his mind. Only by your ACTIONS will you be able to prove to him you're loyal to him and you aren't interested in anyone else. Go out of your way and do nice things for him.
Leave notes for him to find in his briefcase or his pocket. "Can't wait to get you home tonight" "Missing you heaps" "I thought of you today and it made me smile".
When he comes home one night (or next time you see him) give him a present. Buy a small decorated cardboard box, a sheet of coloured tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great Masseur. For an appointment ring: (Your Phone Number). Create some love coupons that your partner can exchange for romantic favours. View this link for some examples.
http://www.theromantic.com/lovecoupons.htm
With a little bit of effort and making HIM feel special I'm sure he'll forget about one stupid kiss!
Eve
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Now you learn that prevention is always better than cure! I say take this as a lesson, put this behind you, and have a serious talk with your boyfriend. You have to explain to him it was a one off and whether or not he sees it, well, thats really not up to us to predict. Its not impossible to gain someones trust again, as you didnt rightfully cheat on him completely, it was just a snog. But let me just say that it isnt gonna be easy at all. It really all depends on your guy, if hes the forgiving type, then youd probably get off the hook in no time, but if hes quite the green eyed monster, then I guess it takes more than just flowers and kisses to make up for it. For starters, you could start paying more attention to him, and ACTING like he is everything to you (I dont suggest actually putting someone on a pedestal), stop checking other guys out, basically show him you're making a hell of an effort in making the relationship work. If that still doesnt work and problem still persists, then I think you have to sit him down and have the dreaded 'chat'. Its a 50-50 battle if you ask me, whos to say. Good luck tho.
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A
female
reader, Beki +, writes (17 March 2007):
 You broke his trust and hurt him he needs time to get over it, you need to sit down with him and talk to him tell him how you felt about it. You must talk this through shouting won't help. Once you've told him how you feel ask him how he feels. If your serious with this relationship tell him you will do whatever he wants to try and get the realtionship back, but it will be hard work!
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A
female
reader, maruechant  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 I am very sorry to hear what you are going through.Men in nature do not want others, especially us females, to step on their egos. I believe you've hurt his ego that's why he was acting that way. We could not tell when he will be ok completely. Let's face it, a thing, once broken, could never be whole again. Wounds heal, only time can tell when. Learn to understand that dear, you have to wait until his pain be gone. Overcoming such things is not really easy for a man, talking about their egos...I am not letting you down but we know for a fact that everything we do has a consequence, so whatever his final decision will be in the future, just be prepared emotionally on what will happen next and remember that you've already done your part by telling the truth and asking for forgiveness and so you should not feel guilty anymore or what about what happened. Be brave and have faith that you will surpass anything that will come along.
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