A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is a bit awkward but here goes...My bf and I have always had really good sex. He was a virgin when we met, I wasn't and had been with a few men before - and this didnt both either of us. We're quite adventerous and really enjoy sex with eachother. Without going in to too much detail, I was in a sexually abusive relationship a while back and ended up with PTSD. I've worked hard to get over the condition and am a lot better now but at the start of the relationship I had trouble with doing sexual things with my bf because I found it a bit too trauamtic as it reminded me of before. He was understanding though, and we took things slow, and things were fine. We've now been together a year and the sex is great. But recently I've been having trouble with getting "wet" enough to have sex with him. We have lots of foreplay before sex, and I get really turned on and really want to have sex, but sometimes I just cant get wet. Sometimes if i cant get wet we use lube, but it's not the same. I'd like to be able to get wet naturally. I'm almost 19, so its not as if I'm old or anything either!I get upset about it because I'm worried my bf will think I dont love him or that I don't fancy him, when I do! I've todl him about this and he understands that just ebcause I can't get wet, doesn't mean Im not sexually attracted to him. But it's still really frustrating because it leaves us both feeling a bit crap and makes me feel like I can't make love to my bf properly.I was thinking maybe this might be to do with my PTSD as I've been going through a bit of a stressful time lately with work and stuff, so maybe it has retriggered some stuff - so might go back to therapy and talk it over with someone. But was just wondering if anyone had anything else to say about it?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Let me ask you this. When pain from trauma is stored do you know what happens that creates PTSD? The best way to explain it is being like a abscess. It starts small, then grows. You go to the dentist and they give you a 10 day supply of antibiotic. You take 4 days worth and feel great, so you say I don't need the rest. Months go by and you feel wonderful, until the size of the abscess needs medical attention again.
You might go back to therapy, ask them when you are their if they are, or know anyone who is an N.L.P. specialist. N.L.P. is neuro-linguistics-programming. It's safe. It's a method that is being used more and more with people who have trauma. It's not hypnosis, you'd be awake, what they do in a relaxed atmosphere is talk you out of the trauma by literally bringing the event to your conscious, changing the pictures, and then it's refiled in your subconscious with the new pictures. It's actually an interesting method for trauma. I've used it, and it doesn't just lower the PTSD, it eliminates it. If the trauma isn't there, the disorder it created disappears as well.
Good luck to you.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
Are you taking any medication for the PTSD? Dryness could be a side effect. After awhile using lube can be just fine.
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