A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. untill a few months ago it was great, but for a long time our relationship has been disintergrating, especially over the summer where certain incidents have driven us apart. one example is that both of us booked seperate holidays to zante with me going first with the 'girls' and him going the week later with 'the guys'. during my holiday my best friends was drugged in a club and raped and rather than being the holiday of a lifgetime it was the worst week i have ever lived through.Not that i would ever wish that he would have as traumatic an experience as i did, i did ask my boyfriend to be respectful and accept that i didnt wnat to talk abotu his time away when he got back, as it was simply not something i was in the right state of mind to hear about. hoever when he came back, he insisted he wanted to see me even if i didnt talk about it, yet he was grumpy the whole time, kept trying to imply things about his holiday and generaly being angry at me fo rnot wanting to hear about his great holiday. After that occasion i didnt see him for weeks and distanced myself mentally from him over tht period as i lost alot of repect for him that day.however, to add to this i started cheating on him, someting i have never done and never inteneded to do, with a manager where i work. he is 5 years older than me (i am eighteen) and i have no real idea how it started but we have continuously kissed and recently started meeting up in both public and private places.i know it is time to break up with my boyfriend as even when i do see him, which is rarely, we just dont seem to have teh connection we did before. i have also been to scared to allow him back into my life as i feel i have already 'mourned' our relationship as such and since we areboth going travelling early next year our relaionship must end one way or another. However what i am unsure about is how to break up with him, i feel it would cause unessacery harm an dupset to tell him about me cheating on him especiallyas our rlatiopnship would be ending anyway, in my own personal opinion. i am also unsure as to what to do with the other person i am seeing, as he is not onlky quite alot older then me but, well, my boss :Sbut i do like him alot and he has helped me to feel myself again after a bad experience and failing relationship.
View related questions:
best friend, my boss, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Break up with your current guy (both of them). Don't tell the honest one about the infidelity. You're going to leave him anyway, no reason to add insult to injury. And don't prolong it. Rip the band-aid off and let him heal, so that he can find someone who will want him the way he deserves (you clearly don't).
Break up with the boss, too. Have you heard the phrase, "Don't sh-- where you eat?" Crass, but descriptive. It talks about dating at work. You need to be able to keep your relationships there clear. If it ends, it will affect your job. And a whole lot of other things, too.
Get comfortable in your own skin, with out a guy. You need to be alone for a while so that you'll know the next relationship will be a healthy one.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
You are a selfish b****. Do him a favor and leave him alone.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 October 2007):
 You know people can help you feel yourself again without literally feeling you. It has been known to happen.
First of all, let's look at your trip. Your right rape is very traumatic. Too many people take advantage of others. But on the same end, he had something very exciting he wanted to share with you. It's not that he was being disrespectful. All though this happened on your trip, telling him you didn't want to hear about his shows the lack of caring you have for him. Did you tell him why you didn't want to hear about it. If no reason was given then disrespect was handed over from your end.
You need to tell him you cheated. He deserves to know who he had been with, and trusting when he probably should not have been. You can give any excuse you choose to, but the fact with cheating is: You were given a choice and took it. Nothing in your past caused you to cheat. To seek comfort, we still choose our means to do so, you chose to cheat. You are the only one to blame for your actions, and you need to fully own up to them and take responsibility for them.
As far as being with your boss. What an uncomfortable place to be. I know in many jobs I've had, if I so much as kisses one of my employees I'd be fired on the spot. You are really lacking your boundaries of proper behavior. I think after reading this, take a look in the mirror to see who's insensitive.
...............................
|
