A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can somebody just get over a relationship ending after a long time together? I'm struggling to do so.My first love broke up with me almost 6 months ago, after 2 years together, because she wasn't sure if she was ready to have something serious as we were getting.Seems like there was no possible way to avoid this. How on earth do you just accept that it's over? Because even now, it doesn't feel like I'm going to find another girl I'll love as much as her.Can anybody help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): It's the worst empty feeling in the world breaking up with someone you love and have loved for a long time. The only real healer is time and to make that go quicker you need to fill it up by going out with friends and getting new hobbys. Don't try and find another girl so soon as it will just reimind you that she isnt everything your ex was and it hurts even more.
A
female
reader, beauty585  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 i fel u on this but the only reason that yoou cant get over her is bcuz she is your first love..i've been goin wit my first love for 3 yrs now and i dont think it will be easy 4 me 2 get over him neither...but yea if she is through with it then i guess u have no choice but 2 do the same...try finding new girl friends and hanging/dating out with them just try 2 4get about her..and see how things go with other females!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): No one can give you any advice to cure your heartache of breaking up with someone you love. You've only just broke up six months ago and your grief and pain is still raw. You still need more time and space to get through this- everyone goes at their own individual pace. But believe me, time is your friend and the hurt of loss will ease up, eventually. You just need to get there.
Remember what's good about you. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to help you remember what's good about you.
Keep yourself busy. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened-working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process-it just means you should focus on other things, too. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing. Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. The person isn't really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness. Sometimes the sadness is so deep - or lasts so long - that a person may need some extra support to deal with a broken heart. For someone who is not starting to feel better after a few weeks or who continues to feel depressed, talking to a counselor or therapist can be very helpful. And please--take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken, too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression. Do not date other women until you are through this. Don't think that will work...and that's unfair to date someone when your heart is not into that someone. You need to do a full recovery, first..bring the best of you into a future potential love relationship and right now-this is far from your mind, I know. So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin. Take care, dear and I am sorry for your hurt.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 October 2007):
 It depends on how much was declining on her end before she broke it off. Some people if it's been a rough end do most of their healing and coping before it even ends. I know it's difficult to understand. You'll heal, just everyone heals at different rates. There's no research that proves everyone has to follow a certain model after it ends.
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