A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I will make this as short as possible. I have two friends. I have known one for around 2 and a half years whom i shall call Debs and the other just over a year, who shall be called Sophy. Before i met the two of them they were the best of friends. But now they are not so close and i think it is because of me. Debs is forever calling Sophy behind her back to me then when she sees Sophy after, pretends she has said nothing at all. The problem is me and Sophy have a lot in common. We have the same dry senses of humour and sometimes this prompts us to share a joke between ourselves. But it has got to the point where Debs thinks we are laughing at her. Even though we reassure her that we aren't.I am thinking of speaking to her tomorrow about her behaviour. I don't want to fall out with her but i need to point out the problem asap. We used to have such fun. We all have an odd sense of humour, but me and Sophy are more blunt. What also annoys Debs is that when she calls Sophy, i am always sticking up for Sophy and it makes her comments worse. I don't want to fall out with her. I want us all to be good friends as we were before.Any advice on how we can get back to how it all started. We always used to have so much fun. Thanks.Sorry it wasnt as short as i hoped. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
Oh, we've all had friendships like this and I've been on both sides. I've been on your side, where I'm sure you don't mean to be hurting Deb's feelings and I know you like them both and you just want to be ALL friends.
But I know how Debs feels. I've been on that side when her and Sophy have been friends, then you come along and all the sudden she feels really left out. She feels on the outside, like you and Sophy like each other better than you guys like her.
Try to understand that she's just feeling left out and a little sad. It's not your fault, just try to include her in your jokes and your fun and if you're feeling gutsy TALK TO HER. Tell her that you like her (and Sophy does too) and you don't mean to hurt her feelings.
It's okay sweetness, sometimes friendships go through rough spots. Soon the drama will be over and you can all be happy together.
xxIndia
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 October 2007):
 That was fine with information. You need to look at Debs. Look at her feelings. You and the other individual have things in common that you don't share with Debs. Where does that leave her? Feeling as if she's left out in the cold, or outside the circle of the friendship. She says those things so she may be acknowledged. It can be difficult hanging out and feeling as if you really don't belong there. When all of you are together you guys need to respect her to, include her and do things all of you can enjoy.
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