A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a fair amount of experience with women but not so much in terms of committed relationships. I have governed my dating life by a few basic principles, one being you don't cross the line when it comes to your friend's girlfriend/fiancee/wife. Anyway, I blew that principle right out of the window when myself and my friend's fiancee began developing feelings for each other. We maintained self control over our physical attraction for one another until some 2 1/2 months after they got married which is when we slept together for the first time. We were out of control. We were involved for 8 months or so. We ended things because she was having difficulty with the double life she was living. I miss her but I feel guilt as clearly I should. I also cant believe I let this happen. Is there anyone else out there who considers him or herself to be a good person but who has done something so unforgivable as to have a relationship with your friend's spouse?
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female
reader, Lovemyfriendshusband  +, writes (20 August 2008):
I completely understand your feelings. Things happen in life that we try to control and when it comes to having feelings for another person, even someone you love you can't just keep those feelings to yourself. Yes, we can try and walk away from a situation so it doesn't develop into anything that might hurt others but how do you set those emotional feelings aside. For example two people that did just that: June Carter and Johnny Cash. I myself have been married for 8 years and we also have a child together. I have developed feelings for my close friends husband. I know we are both attracted to eachother and I know we both would never do anything to hurt our spouses but I am trying my hardest to not be around him. I only try to see my friend when he's not home or away, but sometimes that doesn't happen and when everytime I do see him I just fall to pieces. I know I want to be with him. I truly wish we could be together if only for one night. I keep telling myself this isn't reality and it would for sure develop into an affair but I need to just set these feelings aside and not be around him. I am falling for him. If he were to ever approach me and ask me if we could be together, I would say YES!!!. I have been with my husband for almost 14 years and married for half of that but I know that if I met my friends husband years ago I would have wanted to be with him...What do I do in this situation????? Anyways, I understand how you are feeling...you can't just take feelings you have for another, someone you have such a deep connection with and toss it away. What to do, what to do??????
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Principles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F that!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously she was hot and your wod got the best of you, however, you were both consenting adults............. don't worry about it and hope they get a divorce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease let me begin by thanking those who took the time to give me their input. Somehow, I neglected to make it clear in my original entry that I deeply love this woman. I know though that the fact that we both deceived and betrayed her husband makes us both appear to be characterless and immoral people. If I were to be judged by that act alone, I would have to agree with that characterization. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her (often longingly). Her husband and myself were once good friends but that friendship was well on its way to being over before her and I became involved. This doesn't mean that I can somehow escape moral responsibility for my actions but I do not consider myself to be a friend of his and have not considered us to be friends for quite some time now. I love her and cherish the time we had together BUT I miss her now and I feel guilty for my having crossed the line. I think I am nuts!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (11 October 2007):
Worse has been done. The only good is that you can learn from mistakes.
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A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (11 October 2007):
 You have to tell him. He'll probably wanna return the favor and F you but not in the fun way. Keep it in your pants,if you don't want to be that kind of person,Don't Be.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Nope. Principles are principles. Their how we live our lives and display our character and integrity.
Guess what, in order to get over the guilt. You guys need to have a talk with your friend and let him know about the double life. He deserves to know, and if you consider yourself a real friend to him, you'll make sure that meeting takes place.
Once she cheated, it's now his decision if he stays in the marriage or not. He needs to be given the choice to make that decision. You both made the mistake together, if you want to be a man who lives by principle, you have to take responsibility for this behavior and own up to him for this trust violation.
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