A
male
age
41-50,
*ollywood.ugly
writes:My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. It was mostly because I wasn't attentive enough. She started seeing someone else. I stayed away from her. I didn't call her at all. She called me after a month and told me she missed me. She told me she thinks about me when she's with him. She asked if I wanted to get back together. I replied "yes" and we promised to work on the problems from the past. We spent a couple nights together and she told me how much she loved me, but she didn't break up with the other guy. She says that things are easy and fun with him, and things with me are heavy and she feels too strongly to do this. She says now that she isn't ready to feel so strongly about someone, yet she is in a relationship. She wants to be friends first, but I told her I wasn't comfortable right now with this other person in the picture, but she keeps texting me and contacting me and wants to hang out. I don't want to lose her again, but I feel like I am being manipulated and don't want to feel like that anymore. I don't know what to do. Any advice?
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broke up, get back together, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Sorry it happened that way. Remember relationships are not mental game playing activities. You'll find happiness, and when you do, I bet this relationship won't even compare.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (31 January 2008):
You really have a heart to even ask after being officially told in a polite way that you are being played and she's not ready to give it up.I struggled through such a relnship recently and it ended up bruising my heart.She's a two timing player and the farther she's away the safer you are.Avoid her and move on.She'll just complicate your life.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, hollywood.ugly +, writes (31 January 2008):
hollywood.ugly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. It's over now. It was in my best interest to break contact even if I wasn't crazy about it.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 She's a player! just cut her out of your life. She isn't to be trusted
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 January 2008):
It's time to pack this one up. She's playing you, because she knows she can. I wrote a song not long ago, the end of the corus is "I wasn't good enough for you then, I sure and the hell aint now." Sometimes all though you want to be with them and don't want to loose them, the best thing to do is just move on. If she sends a text wanting to hang out, tell her "I think I'll pass, I respect myself too much to play second to anyone."
Sorry this happened, but it sounds like she still has some growing up to do as well.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 You are being played by her.
End all contact and move on.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Let her go. Find someone who is not taken. Whenever she tries to talk to you and pretends to be interested in you, either ignore her, or ask her how her bf is, how long they've been going out, where did they meet, how did she know that she wanted to go out with him, yadda yadda yadda, make her feel uncomfortable about what she is doing.
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A
male
reader, Arkiteck +, writes (30 January 2008):
i agree w/ everyone else, tell her it's not fair and you won't continue w/ things the way they are unless she can give you some re-assurance that she's committed to making it work with you.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 so she says that she is in love with you but is comfortable being with someone else? she is having her cake and eating it too. what she is doing is unfair to you and this other guy. if she really does care for you, she would be prepared to have a fully commited relationship with you, and not avoid it because its 'too heavy'. she is taking advantage of both of you and enjoying living both lives. i think that you should talk to her and tell her that you are not prepared to play these games with her, and wait around for someone who might or might not come to you, and that is why you are leaving. stop contacting her, and move on and find someone who is mature enough to be in a monogomous relationship. she needs to grow up and realise that this is not how you treat ppl. i hope this helps, it may not be the answer you want but its the right thing to do. good luck, if you wanna talk just email me
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A
male
reader, NycZem +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Forget about her. Get rid of her. If you feel that strongly then it's going to be long and hard, but don't worry youll get through it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): You feel like your being manipulated because you are. Dump this woman.Good luck
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