A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:If you had a friend that you had known for a couple of years and then you found out that some time ago they had been in the paper for assaulting their child who was 3 at the time, would you then see that friend in a different light and would it make you wonder why he doesnt see his kids? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 I certainly hope that you are only friends and nothing more. If you are contemplating a relationship with him do not include any children in the picture. When you say "assaulted" was it physically or was it sexually? If it was physically then you may become a target at some point. Just tread very softly here. And of course this is why he is not allowed to be with his kids!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Look everyone deserves a second chance.What they do with it is up to them.I am far from a religious man but it does take hell of a lot of courage to show someone you hate mercy than to condemn them.So I'd keep the kids at arms lenght of him and if possible help him deal with whatever part of himself has allowed him to give in to violent and disturbing thoughts and desires.A leopard can change it's spots if it trully regrets and makes amends for what it has done.So Forgive, but not forget. Give him the chance for redemption that all humans, irrespective of their crimes, deserve. That one second chance.And if there is even a shred of decent humanity left in him, he'll use it wisely.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (29 January 2008):
 I would never be freinds with a pedophile
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A
female
reader, Trinnity08 +, writes (29 January 2008):
 it would make me see him differently , and if i had children he would no be allowed any where near them . and yes it would clear the matter up of my he is not allowed access to his children xx trinnity
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Hi,
that sure is a lot to think about. Is this "friend" your boyfriend or just a friend friend.
I think that's important, if he's your boyfriend it is only natural to be highly suspicious of this man, if you had kids wouldn't you be constantly worried he will harm them? I mean it takes a lot to harm someone, let alone injure a small child - its shocking even thinking about it.
I saw a program recently where men who had assaulted children were given a second chance by their community when they were released. It put a different perspective on things but it's still hard to think that they are completely cured or even remorseful for what they did.
If this friend is just a friend, then maybe you can provide some support in helping him deal with his aggressive nature. But this sounds way to serious for flippant advice I think a counsellor is way better to judge this.
At the end of the day, if it's your boyfriend I would be very reluctant in your shoes to trust him. A friend may be different.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 January 2008):
 It would make me wonder. I wouldn't pry into it with them, with my children I probably wouldn't expose them to him. I guess it would depend too on if he was convicted or falsy accused. We just had someone here released from prison and had first degree murder charges overturned. he was 15 when he went to prison, new evidence shows there's 0 possibility that he did the crime he was accused of. This was a matter of many state errors, but he's innocent.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Yes, it would make me view that friend differently. I would be likely to cross him off my contacts list.
It would probably answer the question as to why he doesn't see his kids.
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