A
female
age
36-40,
*reamflower
writes:I am currently seeing a wonderful man who has a son from a previous relationship. I absolutely love his son and can really see this relationship working out. The problem is I recently discovered that I am pregnant with an ex's child. Apparently he impregnanted me just a month prior to my current relationship. I always thought that should this situation arise (me being pregnant at this age) that I would abort the fetus no questions asked. But I never thought I would come face to face with the choice...and now all I can think about is not regretting the descision.I'm pretty sure what I need to do, but I really need to hear the opinions of others. Keep in mind neither myself or my boyfriend are ready for another child.
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female
reader, dreamflower +, writes (12 February 2008):
dreamflower is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much everyone! I spoke with my boyfriend and he was wonderfully supportive. I did end up having an abortion, and although it made me sad, I feel it was the right decision. It turns out I was 9 weeks in, so the procedure was pretty mild. Now my boyfriend and I can move forward into the future we want together, and give his son all the love he deserves! Thanks again!
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (31 January 2008):
Boy are u in a tight corner.It seems that for you abortion is the 1st option.However,you really have to come face to face with reality.Tell your current bf your situation.He may also support you having an abortion.If he doesn't keep it.Take his feelings in2 consideration and besides your loyalty should be with him now.It's best you talk about it with your current bf.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I think you have already made your decision and you should follow your heart. Only you know what is right for you and you should do whatever feels like the best option for you. Talk to people though, talk to your ex, to your boyfriend, to family, friends, and your doctor. Get all the help and support you can and all of the information you can so you can be in control and make a decision on what is right for you. Theres nothing to feel guilty about if you know in your heart you are doing the right thing for everyone involved. Abortion does carry a big aftermath so you will need to be prepared for that if you make that decision. Don't be afraid to get the help that is available to you.
all the best
brooke
x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Does your new b/f knows about it or will it be your sole decision to abort or keep it?
Have you consulted your new b/f or feel there is no necessity to involve him?
Since you feel that you are not ready , there is no other choice.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I understand sometimes we're faced with challenges. My first child was born when I was 19. That was difficult, and for a period after, it was still difficult. He's still given me more blessings than the difficult areas I faced.
Weigh out all your options. The thought of just aborting, good thought, but the moving ahead is a bit unrealistic. I've worked with women who have had abortions, and cary a huge amount of guilt from their decisions. Some of these women made their decisions 30 years ago, and are still affected today. Just remember there are positive and negatives depending on decisions we make.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Hi there,
oh boy oh boy, what a situation you are in. I feel really sorry for you.
First, you obviously need to discuss this with your current boyfriend, see what his opinion is. You are very young, and you have already seen the warning signs in that he may be reluctant to look after another child so soon into the relationship and support you as well while you are bringing it up (especially as its another man's child - and there will be the ex factor involved- the father maybe one of these rare individuals who wants to play a part in his child's life. There are so many conumdrums.
The choice is yours , it is your body , so whatever you decide to do remember that , and don't listen to the inevitable posts which will refer to abortion being amoral etc.. its your body and its your future, you could lose everything and end up being a single mother struggling to keep your head above water at such a young age.
If your boyfriend truly loves you he will support you no matter what you decide, but by the sounds of it your relationship is only a few months old, so its a big ask.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
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